1Finally in a great heroic efforts the threesome landed back on Coruscant. When I say heroic I of course mean they stopped for coffee. The small transport settled down on a docking bay outside a big government building. A mad swarm of political idealists swarmed them as they exited the ship. Anakin's eyes glowed with adrenaline as he activated his lightsabor. Obi-Wan tackled him to the ground.

"Politicians! Politicians!" yelled Anakin in a happy/insane growling type of voice with his eyes dazed. Obi-Wan pried the lightsabor from his hands.

"You'll get this back after you take more medicine." He said trying to provoke him by waving it in his face. He squirmed and howled while nipping at the saber. Obi-Wan laughed and pointed. He took out his cell phone and sent a picture to Yoda.

Yoda was deep into concentration. Everything around him hummed from the exposure of the force. Suddenly his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and flipped it open. He laughed hysterically at the pictures of Obi-Wan poking Anakin with a stick while his mouth was foaming.

Obi-Wan knew his fun had to come to an end before he threw his back out. He got back on the transport.

"Where to?" asked the pilot.

"As far away from him as you can get me."

Anakin sat up and wiped his chin on his sleeve. He saw everyone was staring at him and laughing. He waved his hand and mumbled "You are all screw-ups and aspire to be as cool as I one day."

"We are all screw-ups and aspire to be as cool as you someday." They chanted back. He let them cover him in compliments until he reached his pent house suite. He thrust open the doors to reveal his wife, Padme, watching MTV. She leapt from the coach and ran towards him.

"I missed you so much!" he yelled running in. Padme stood before him with her arms spread out and beaming. He ran right past her and into the bathroom. He opened a drawer and pulled out a huge leopard fur covered box. He hugged it and kissed it. He opened it to reveal rows of make-up and brushes. "It's good to be home." Padme was staring at him with disgust from the hallways. He claimed to be straight but had an unnatural obsession with beauty products.

He walked straight past her and went into the kitchen. His medal hand grasped the handle to the oven. He opened it crunching the medal.

"Where's the beer!?!" he cried. Padme walked past him and opened the fridge.

"In the fridge."

"Why is it in there?"

"So it gets cold."

"Why?"

"So it tastes better."

"Why?"

"Just take a freakin' beer!" he grabbed a can and plopped down on a couch. She stood in front of him. He looked her up and down.

"You look fat." he blurted out staring into the can. "What's wrong."

"Something wonderful has happened Ani!"

"Michael Jackson died?"

"No." she answered calmly.

"Yoda thinks I'm hot?"

"No," she answered a little more angry.

"My hair looks great today?"

"I'M FREAKIN" PREGNANT YOU DWEEB!" she shrieked.

"Well it's about time." sneered Anakin setting down the beer can. "Let's just hope it doesn't get your hair."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing personal, but brown hair is so out."

"You have brown hair!"

"Golden brown baby, golden brown. Frankly, your looks just don't cut it."

"Yeah, well you might not even be the father!" Padme had been so enraged she let it slip out. She immediately shot up and tried to run off.

"SIT!' bellowed Anakin. She sat down like an obedient pet. "Now, I know that you have a lot of your mother in you and are a pretty big slut, and I accept that."

"You do?"

"Of course, just as long as you accept my semi gayness."

"About that-"

"Now, even if the kid isn't my biological son or daughter, I will still raise it as my own. But, I can't have an ugly baby, who else may be that father?"

"Well," she began. "Mace Windu,"

"Fine,"

"Palpatine,"

"Fine,"

"Yoda,"

"Fine,"

"Dooku,"

"Fine,"

"Grevious,"

"Fine,"

"and Obi-Wan."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. Everyone in the building covered their ears. "NOT OBI-WAN! MY CHILD IS GOING TO BE HIDEOUS!"

"We don't know if he's the father yet." she said trying to calm him down. She forced him to sit. He began to cry.

"What am I going to do? What am I going to say? Everyone is going to mock me! How can a hot guy and an average looking girl make a disgusting child? They'll think I got plastic surgery!"

"Ani, I think we need to get away for a while, just you and me. We can go out for dinner."

"I'll drive!" he yelled running to the bathroom. He locked himself in and didn't come out for two hours while he reacquainted himself with his make-up.