Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto

Warnings: This chapter contains coarse language, subjects containing death, blood, yaoi incestious thoughts, skewed thoughts on rape, blood, OOC, and the canon is not really a huge factor (still more so in later chapters). This is also a long chapter, not as long as four, but longer than one, two, and three. There are also some errors in here that I didn't pick up.

Pairings: ItaSasu, slight SasuSaku, slight SasuNaru, traces of AsuKure, a pinch of GaiKaka

Rain still fell up against the window; it took the hospital two days to replace the glass, keeping the cold out. His temperature had gone up; they said that he had caught an infection. It was a small cold, but on top of his already swollen lungs it was getting severe. He had been put on oxygen during nights again as they tried to keep him warm to destroy all chances of further infection.

The infection was the least of his problems, it had been almost two weeks in the hospital now and everyday that passed by all he could think about was Itachi. The way that he fought with Kakashi, the way he was losing the battle from the beginning. Blood, the blood that he wanted to spill still stained his sheets the sound of coughing echoing in his ears.

Are they ever going to clean that up? He looked at the blood remembering, the look on his face as he bled, the ragged way that he was breathing. I killed my brother, I took everything from him. I finally did it.

Everything was going his way these days, he got his dream, he did get to kill him once and for all. Itachi wasn't all there anymore, his monstrous persona and real self conflicting. The harder Sasuke tried to find reason for that night, the more that he found that Itachi was getting further from redemption. There was no saving him now.

Attention was drawn from his thoughts as the door opened his teammates walking in. They came in to him ever since they heard about what happened, since Itachi had managed to get into there.

"Good morning Sasuke," Sakura greeted calmly as she walked forward. "How are you today?"

He looked up at them almost seeming not interested. "You're back…"

"We're a team," she continued as they pulled two chairs to his side. "They told us that you were contagious and that we shouldn't be coming in here to talk to you."

"It's just a cold," his voice trailed off as he looked at the window. "It's still raining. So peaceful, yet so tragic," he saw the look in Sakura's eyes knowing what she was thinking. "Do you think that it's because of what happened to Kakashi?"

She gasped as she closed her eyes as well. "It's depressing what happened to him… I hear that your brother came in here to capture you and Kakashi was the one who stopped him." There was a small silence. "I'm sorry that we weren't there for you."

"It wasn't your fault," he took a breath. "Even if you were here, he would have just taken you two as well. He has a mission, and nothing will stop him. Kakashi was an example for what was happening to all of us if we get in his way. And I was an example for those who stand up to him."

Sobbing filled his ears as he looked over at her seeing her start to breakdown, his heart was sinking in his chest. How could he do this to her? She only cared about him and all he did was try to push her away. She should hate him for that.

"Sakura," he took her hand gently. "It's alright; they're going to try to mend my wounds inside today."

She closed her eyes. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"You want me to get better don't you?" he ignored Naruto who was sitting next to her as he looked into her eyes. "Do you want me to be in the hospital forever?"

She shook her head. "I want you to feel alive again."

"Sakura," Sasuke breathed. "I am alive, just a little broken."

"I want you to be whole," she breathed holding his hand tighter.

"I am whole," he consoled. "He didn't break me. I don't break as easily as you think, Sakura; it's going to take more than a few minutes of torturous sex to make me want to end my life," his hand held hers tighter. "Don't worry; I'm going to be alright."

She smiled holding his hand tighter. "Sasuke, you don't need to be brave."

"I'm not being brave; I want you to understand that you don't have to worry about me. I'm alive, that's all that counts in the end," he moved her hand over his chest. "See… nothing's going to happen."

Naruto's blue eyes widened as he watched his two teammates making heavy eye contact. "Sasuke… I guess you're starting to feel a little better. Even though I hear you're still feeling pains in your ass."

"You moron," Sasuke sneered, rolling his eyes trying not to make any sort of contact with his colleague. "You are the only pain in my ass, clumsy idiot."

"Bastard," Naruto said as he looked over at Sakura. "He's still the same Sasuke that I know and loathe. Same self-centered prick that I always hated." He smiled. "And my best friend."

Sasuke smiled slightly. "And you're the same too, you total moron."

Sakura giggled as she looked at the two of them. "You two are getting along well, the best that I've ever seen you like this."

Because I died, he looked out the window. "They say I'm going to be on oxygen for the rest of the day. Every time that they try to do this to me, I go into respiratory arrest," he looked at them. "I don't want you in here during the procedure. After all of it's over you can sit by my side if you want to. I just won't talk to you."

Sakura smiled wider. "You mean, you don't mind us in here after they're done repairing the broken tissue."

"They said that they'll let me out at the end of the week if this works correctly, if I can walk again that is," he leaned back taking a deep breath. "Try not to make a big deal out of this, my mind… it's not in the right state."

The words that Kakashi said about his brother were fresh in his mind. "You feel guilt for all that you did, that's why you came back to Sasuke, and that's why you're wearing perfume. You feel that all of the wrongs that you did were not necessary and you're punishing yourself."

Sasuke's eyes closed as he started to breathe heavily. "I watched what happened to Kakashi, and I couldn't even lift a finger to help him. The whole time I was on this bed just watching what was going on. I was too weak to do anything to stop him again."

As the two were going to say something when the door opened a doctor walking toward the bed, Sasuke's eyes opening. The time was here, they were going to start the treatment again.

"Good morning Sasuke, how are you feeling today?" the doctor asked checking the EKG, not looking at him.

"I'm feeling fine," Sasuke answered as they handed him a cup of pills.

The doctor smiled. "How's you breathing today? Any pains? Has it become easier than it was the first time we tried?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I'm completely numb."

Sakura stood up along with Naruto walking toward the door. Sasuke was on his own for this one without his teammates to help him through this. The pain was going to be greater than anything he had ever experienced. He looked into the cup at the painkillers foreseeing the same pain that he had experienced before. His breath was already catching in his throat.

"You know how this works, if it hurts just tell me and I'll stop."

Sasuke poured the pills into his mouth swallowing them quickly closing his eyes as his pants were pulled down. Please God… make this quick. He closed his eyes tighter remembering what his brother had done to him. He was going through this because of him. Please make it quick, not like the last time.

-----

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Sakura asked as they sat in the chairs that were set up outside the room. They could hear his pants and winces as the doctor drove in deeper into Sasuke's body, his torn flesh being stretched. "He sounds awful."

Naruto looked at the ground as he heard the first scream leave the room, his eyes closing tightly. It all was going back to that night when he was walking home, the same screams that filled the air that cold night. But these were different; they were strained as he was choking on his own throat.

"Naruto," Sakura whispered moving closer to him.

He looked up at her. "I'm not scared for him; Sasuke's going to make it through." He heard another scream come out of the room. "He's strong."

"It hurts!"

Naruto closed his eyes tightly as he tried to block out the screams seeping through his best friend's lips imagining what was going on in there. He could see the sweat running down his pale skin as he squeezed tighter onto the sheets of the hospital bed, the water that ran down his cheeks washing away the blood from his lips, it was a horrifying sight. Opening his eyes, he tried to get images out of his mind, but the screams only augmented them more.

"It hurts…" his voice was getting weaker with every breath escaping his lips.

"Sasuke…" Naruto breathed burying his face in his hands. "Will they stop that? Can't they see that they're hurting him?" his voice became low as Sasuke let out another groan of pain. "It sounds like he can barely even breathe."

Sakura looked at the door. "He did say that it was going to hurt, he also said that if they're successful he'll be able to start trying to walk sooner."

"I know, Sakura," Naruto breathed as he tried to block out the screams from Sasuke's room. "But does he have to go through all of that?"

"It's the only way," she answered quietly trying to hide her tears.

"There has to be something they can do that doesn't have a risk of killing him, he went into respiratory arrest last time" he continued. "Those screams…"

"Block them out," she answered closing her eyes, her voice condescending. "If you don't want to hear them then block them out, Naruto."

His blue eyes widened. "You can block those out? You can block out those heart wrenching screams?" he shook his head looking at the door. "You have more willpower then I do. Maybe it's the guilt."

"He said it wasn't your fault," Sakura answered. "He admitted that it was his. There was nothing that we could have done to stop Itachi. We would have gotten hurt as well. Or are you forgetting what happened to Kakashi-sensei?"

Screams filled the hallway as the two looked at each other. Why were they still sitting there? They could have left the hall by now. But the doctors said it was best for them to stay out there in case Sasuke needed them.

"I can't breathe!"

Blue eyes closed tighter, the words were intelligible now, not just murmurs that he tried to ignore. He could hear the sounds. His eyes closed tighter as he tried to escape from reality.

"I-I-I can't b-breathe! Stop it!"

Naruto stood up looking at the door. "Damn it," he whispered touching the hard surface as more sounds seeped out. "Are they tearing him in half in there?"

"They're opening up bruised muscles and broken skin," she answered. "There are some severe wounds inside of his body, that's where he lost the most blood. They have to close the wounds and see in there is any way that they can repair everything."

"That bastard Itachi Uchiha, he's going to die," Naruto hissed as he heard another scream come out of the door followed by a series of coughs. Is he going into respiratory arrest like he said he would? Not again!

"It will only take a few seconds, Sasuke calm down."

"S-stop it!"

The coughing continued, then it transformed into a gagging sound. "He can't breathe…" Naruto whispered, clenching his fist.

Sakura looked at the door. "Why don't they stop?"

The gagging stopped as the beeping of the EKG halted, one single beep. It echoed through the hospital. The two of them froze in place, wide eyed. Was that the sound of Sasuke's heart stopping in his chest? Cardiac arrest.

"We're losing him!" the doctor cried out as another group of doctors entered the room. "He's in cardiac arrest."

Through the crack in the door they could see Sasuke on the bed, his black eyes opened as a thick trail of saliva rolled down his chin, blood falling from his nose. Was what death looked like? A weak twelve-year-old boy on a hospital bed falling further into the deep hole of darkness, the afterlife claiming his life, was that death?

"Don't die… promise me that you're going to come out of this all alive. If you think about dying before I do… if you even think about it, I'll… I'll hate you more than I already do you bastard."

"Sasuke…" Naruto breathed as he looked into the doorway.

"I'll live up to your promise."

Naruto looked into the doorway whispered cold soft words. "You lied to me you bastard, you lied to me! You promised me you wouldn't die… and now you're leaving me? No, I'm not going to let you get off easy…"

"Clear," electricity surged through Sasuke's body. "He doesn't have a pulse."

Sakura's voice turned into a sob as she looked into the crack of the door, her whole body shaking violently. The rain hit harder up against the window as they tried to start his heart again, the sound of the harmonic beep still going through the air.

She shouldn't be watching this, he thought as he looked over at her. "Sakura, do you want to go get some fresh air."

Her breath was shaking as the doctors tried a second time to start his body again. "We're a team of three; we're one, just like Kakashi-sensei said. We aren't going to abandon him in this critical time. He needs us here even if we do lose him."

"Losing him is not an option!" Naruto answered quickly as he saw the doctors looking at the EKG. Are they done? Are they going to ask the time of death?

The doctors looked down at Sasuke's body their hand moving to close his eyes. "Time of death?" one asked.

"Eleven o' clock," another said. "Should we get the morgue in here?"

Naruto looked over at Sakura who was staring in disbelief. "S-Sasuke? Naruto… is Sasuke…?" she shook her head. "Did we just? Is he…? Is he…?!" she buried her face in her hands. "Sasuke!" she ran through the open door. "Sasuke!"

"Sakura," Naruto grabbed her wrist. "It's going to be alright. Everything's going to be alright, Sakura."

"You just watched your best friend die and you think it's going to be alright?" she asked as they started to leave the room. Her eyes were broken as she looked over at Sasuke's lifeless body, this wasn't a joke, he was actually dead. "Sasuke…"

The doctors stepped out of the room as they heard one statement. "Get back in here… you're not done…"

The group turned around to look at him. "We're sorry about your friend but there's nothing that we can do. We repaired the tissue, stopped the bleeding, but the pain was too much for him to bear, his body just gave out on him."

Naruto turned away from them. "Then I'll do it…"

"Stop it!" Sakura argued. "You think that you can bring him back just with your words? They said his body wouldn't be able to take it, they said that his body wasn't able to take it because he was too weak. Nothing you can do can bring him back. You're not God, Naruto!" she sobbed loudly. "You're just annoying."

The blond moved to Sasuke's body looking down at him. "You said that you wouldn't die on me, you lied to me, Sasuke Uchiha. You lied to me," he slapped him across the face. "You're going to come back to me… you made a promise, Sasuke; you said you wouldn't die on me. You said that you'd stay alive if I promised that I wouldn't let anything happen to you." he stroked his face. "We n-never did get to see who was better. And I hated you for that. And I hate you even more now… I hate you, you lying prick!"

The doctors walked over to him. "You should leave now…"

"No…" Naruto answered, his voice shaking. "He's going to make it through this. Just try to do it two more times."

"Stop it!" Sakura screamed. "Stop trying to be the hero, Naruto, let him die with some dignity. Don't make them do anymore than they have to and just let him go, Naruto, let him go."

"I thought you liked him," Naruto huffed.

"I like him enough to know that he wants to die with honor," Sakura rebutted.

Naruto shook his head. "You call this honor? Do you think this is what he wants, Sakura? To die on a hospital bed because he couldn't stop Itachi. The Sasuke that I know wouldn't let that happen, no he would keep on fighting. He'd still be here."

The doctors walked back in. "You two should leave."

"Do it one more time," Naruto begged stroking Sasuke's sweat soaked face. "If it doesn't work, I'll let him go. Just do it one last time for me. Please try to bring him back. Please, just one more time."

Sakura shook her head. "It won't work, he's gone, Naruto."

Naruto watched in anticipation as the doctors moved the paddles back to his side. "You're going to need to back away."

He did as he was told backing a good distance away from the lifeless body that he had once in life called his best friend. The room filled with the charging of the paddles, Naruto's own heart stopping in his own chest. Please, Sasuke, stop being a bastard and come back here. The sound of the flat lining EKG was still in his ears as he watched the cool paddles be pushed up against his chest. Please.

"Clear," the wave of electricity was sent through his chest, his body moving to the energy. Complete silence filled the room as a tear rolled down Naruto's cheek. Guilt filled his whole being as he looked at Sasuke's body moving closer. Extending a shaking hand he took Sasuke's limp fingers into his own. A tear fell from his eyes, the whole world being blocked out. He was gone.

Beep. He looked up at the EKG seeing movement in the wavelength. His heart was beating again, they brought him back a successfully. "Sasuke?" Naruto asked holding onto the hand tighter. "Sasuke!" he buried his face in his chest feeling his low heartbeat up against his skin. "Sakura… I told you it would work. Sasuke!"

She moved to Sasuke's side with a smile on her face touching his forehead. "You were right, he only needed one more. But how did you…?"

"I guessed," Naruto smiled staying up against Sasuke's chest. "But I knew he would be able to make it. He's too strong to die. The fight he must have gone through to get back to the other side, it must have been intense."

"Dying twice in less than a month is intense," she whispered resting in the crook of his neck hearing his start to breathe again. "Yet he's so peaceful, to think that he's been through all of the pain just to get out of here. How does he do it?"

Naruto looked up at Sasuke's face seeing the color starting to return, his lips opening slightly to let more air into his swollen lungs. "He's lucky. He's cheated death twice now, and he's going to come out alright. He got his life back"

Sakura kissed Sasuke lightly on the cheek even though she knew that Naruto could see. "He is pretty lucky, isn't he? But next time, he's not going to have you to force the doctors to try it one last time." A tear fell from her eyes onto Sasuke's lips. "You saved his life, Naruto. Thank you."

He looked out the window seeing the rain continuing to fall. "I guess that put one of our fears to rest; he's not going to have to go through that much pain ever again. He's going to be alright now, Sakura. He's going to live."

She heard him cough lightly. "What makes you so sure?"

He looked back at her. "He promised me that he was going to make it out of here. I'm not going to let him go through life not even able to destroy the only person that he's ever hated. Sasuke's going to destroy Itachi, the one who made him go through that much pain."

She held Sasuke's body tighter. "Do you think that he can do it?"

"I have faith," Naruto answered. "What would Kakashi-sensei want us to do?"

The two of them sat on either side of their fallen colleague looking down at him. "He looks so peaceful." Sakura stated.

"Let's hope he stays that way," he continued. "I don't want him to change into another person even if he had outsmarted death twice. I want him to be the same Sasuke that we always knew. The same uptight jerk that we've come to love."

"He won't change," Sakura answered. "He hasn't yet."

The rain still continued to pour down onto the window as they looked over at the glass. It was still depressing, was it all for Kakashi and Sasuke. Was it symbolism that one of them was going to leave them? No, they were going to be alright, they were going to come out fine. Sasuke's breathing was starting to become steady as he moved over to Sakura, craving her heat.

"He's moving," Sakura smiled stroking Sasuke's face. "He really is alive."

Naruto looked out the window. I'm glad to hear it, but what about Kakashi? He walked closer to the window looking down to the very spot that Itachi landed at; the guards that were guarding the entrance were killed almost instantly. Kakashi was supposed to be down there with Asuma, but they left their posts. One mistake lead to the very destruction of Kakashi, one mistake lead to Sasuke's internal wounds opening up, one mistake lead to how him and Sakura were in here. Why would they let Itachi into the building in the first place? He was the only one they were supposed to be watching for.

The rain continued to fall as Sasuke was gently fighting his lungs with every breath. When was the pain going to end? When was Itachi's lust going to be fulfilled? But most importantly, what did he want?

Does he want me? Naruto asked as he leaned up against the glass. Am I the reason for all of this pain? Sasuke would tell me, wouldn't he? His eyes closed tightly as he was in deep thought. Wouldn't he?

-----

"He's in a coma," the doctor stated. "We can barely get any brain waves from him. Whatever happened to him in there, it caused heavy psychological damage. The likeliness of him coming about anytime soon is decreasing," he connected the EKG. "We're taking special precautions to make sure that the rest of his body didn't take that hard of a hit, there are some risks that being a comatose state have on him."

Asuma nodded. "Thank you, doctor; I can't explain how grateful we are that you were able to take him in on such short notice. The Hokage is pleased to hear that there was enough space."

"It's an honor to help a Konoha jounin," the doctor smiled bowing to Asuma. "If there is anything that you need don't be afraid to ask, and if he does wake up please inform one of us."

"I will," Asuma continued as the doctor left the room, he looked over into the corner where Kurenai was standing. "I could have avoided this you know. I was right there when it all happened. I was so close to stopping him."

She walked forward looking at the ground. "Asuma, there was nothing you could have done; nothing was going to stop him from saving Sasuke."

"I could have tried," he sighed. "But I can't allow Itachi to hurt anymore people; I don't want to get involved in this, nor do I want you to."

She closed her eyes sitting down next to him. "Kakashi's going to get out of this."

"He used Tsukuyomi, the strongest genjutsu technique that I've ever heard of. Who knows what he had to see, no doubt the death of Sasuke over and over again to see how much of it he could take. His fear was always watching another one of his teammates die," Asuma coughed lightly. "All I know is that I understand the brat's pain now, broken ribs hurt like hell."

"You shouldn't strain yourself," Kurenai warned. "An injury that bad could hinder your abilities. You're lucky that you didn't break your back after he pushed you down the stairs."

"That was his intention," Asuma stated bluntly. "I know he wanted to disable me so I couldn't go any further in the hospital. He wanted to take Itachi on by himself. He didn't want me to get involved in this." He winced in pain. "Damn it, he really did a number on my body."

She rested a hand on his lower ribcage looking straight at the touched spot. "If you keep thinking about the pain, it's only going to hurt more," she moved closer. "That was a smart move, letting Itachi go. Who knows what he would have done to Sasuke."

"I didn't come here to start a war, nor did I come here to get all of you involved, I came here because that boy on that hospital bed means something to me, something of interest."

"He said that he was interested in Sasuke, like the boy was going to do something for him," Kurenai continued as she looked into Asuma's eyes. "But then why would he hurt him? Do you usually torture the ones that are important to your cause?"

The room filled with silence as Asuma took a deep breath. "I don't know what he wants with Sasuke… but you saw what he did in the room right in front of us. Itachi kissed his brother… on the lips."

"There's something deeper going on with them, why else would he have sex with him?" Kurenai answered. "People usually don't kiss people like that unless there's some sexual attraction."

Asuma looked over at her laughing quietly. "You really are naïve."

She smiled back. "Why?"

"You really think that two brothers are in love?" he laughed again. "That's absurd. Why would two brothers that have been trying to kill each other for four years want each other? You really aren't thinking are you?"

She looked at Kakashi's body. "But what exactly was going on with the brothers when Kakashi came in? What did he see Itachi and Sasuke doing to one another? Is there really a hidden meaning to this, more than just the two of them trying to start something together?"

"Itachi said that Sasuke was of importance to him, meaning that there's something that the boy has to do to help him get what he wants, but what he wants is still unknown. What made him come back to the village knowing that he's a wanted criminal?" Asuma coughed lightly. "It doesn't make any sense. He knows that we'll go after him, yet he keeps on trying to get to Sasuke. What does the boy have that he wants?"

The beeping filled the room, as Asuma started coughing violently, blood spilling from his lips. Rain hit the window hard, the outside world all a blur as her eyes traveled to the blood that was coating his hand. The fall was worse than she thought. He wasn't in any condition for a battle with Itachi, his chakra flow was hindered.

"Maybe you should be in the hospital as well," she stated. "You're in no condition to be anywhere where Itachi Uchiha could strike."

"He's going through the same thing that I am, his ribs are broken as well," Asuma argued. "That's the only reason why Kakashi lasted so long; he could tell by his breathing that he was injured. His chakra control was fumbling as he was fighting him, his body going closer to death with every movement. It must have been hell to be in that situation while he was dying. And Sasuke had to watch."

Kurenai sighed. "He wants Itachi dead."

"You really think that?" Asuma asked looking into her eyes. "He had an opportunity in the hospital room. He passed up that opportunity and he let him go. If he wanted to kill him, he would have held him back right when he was kissing his lips, instead he let him do it. He doesn't want to kill him, Kurenai, he wants him in general. There's something going on between those brothers."

"What do you mean?" Kurenai asked.

"When you have feelings toward someone you try your hardest to keep them out of harm's way even when your position is on the line. He was aiding a traitor in there, he just sat back and watched Kakashi be destroyed," he took a breath closing his eyes. "When a person loves another, they will give anything to make sure that they're safe," he turned to her opening his eyes again. "That's why I let Itachi go, so he wouldn't lay a hand on you."

"I could've taken it," she answered.

"He's a tough opponent, he's jounin level. He's one of the toughest opponents from Konoha in the bingo book," he continued. "Kakashi can't even take him out which shows his exceptional skill. He was a child prodigy, mind you."

There was another silence as Asuma took Kakashi's hand looking at his unconscious body. Guilt. Self hatred. They all filled his mind as he gazed deeper at him. He could have been stopped, but Asuma was too weak to do anything about it. Kakashi wouldn't have let him get that far, he was lucky to only be pushed down the stairs, Itachi would have killed him.

The door swung open as another entered the room, it was Gai. He stayed silent, he rarely talked when Asuma was around, blaming him for what happened to Kakashi. He hated him for letting Itachi Uchiha go free after the numerous crimes he had committed in the last couple of days. He didn't understand how he could do that.

"Gai?" Asuma asked as the other jounin walked forward. "What are you doing here? I thought you said you weren't coming back."

Gai shrugged. "Like you care, traitor."

"I didn't betray anyone," Asuma answered standing up.

"You betrayed your village, you bastard!" Gai argued looking into Asuma's eyes. "He's a wanted man and you let him go? You let him go down there and steal the lives of countless ANBU guards."

"I was thinking about the well being of the village," Asuma argued.

"Those guards had families," Gai continued. "Not everyone can be the Hokage's son, Asuma. You have to stop thinking about yourself. Why do you only care about the higher people?"

"I saved us, you should thank me," Asuma argued taking a step forward.

"Thank you," Gai stated sarcastically. "Thank you for not helping Kakashi when he needed you. You left your post!"

"I tried to stop him, Gai. In case you didn't notice I'm in pain because of what he did. I can barely breathe, and with every breath my head only hurts more, but I refuse to give in. If I do, you're going to go after Itachi."

Gai shook his head. "I'm going after him anyway. He's a criminal charged for murder, rape, and assault. Those are crimes which will not be pardoned. He raped a twelve-year-old, Asuma. Are you going to still condone that?"

"If we go after him, he might hurt Sasuke even more," Asuma continued. "The boy has been through enough already and Itachi hasn't even started his torture yet. He gets worse as time goes on; he's going to kill him next."

"He's a sacrifice for the village," Gai muttered mocking Asuma.

"So were the guards," the Hokage's son retorted. "I'm out of here. I'm not going to sit here and listen to you lie about how I feel. Sasuke is not going to be sacrificed and neither is the village. Don't go searching for him if you know what's good for you."

"Itachi Uchiha will die," Gai continued.

"Don't touch him, the village won't allow it. Think of what's right and what's wrong," Asuma hissed breathing heavily, his breath jagged with pain. "Do you want to ruin the outlook on the village?"

Gai shook his head. "Fuck the village."

"Gai!" Asuma berated.

"Look at what it did for Kakashi, he's in a Goddamn coma and it's all the guards' fault," Gai yelled. "His brain is gone, his heartbeat is leaving, he's struggling for breath every second that goes by." He sat next to Kakashi's body on the bed holding his hand tightly. "Asuma, look what that bastard did to him, because he knew he was never going to be able to kill an Uchiha he was put into this state. Look what that son of a bitch did to him."

Asuma moved closer to the door. "Kakashi didn't want to get us involved in this. When are you going to understand death wishes?"

"When it seems like it's the right thing to do," Gai answered. "This doesn't seem right, and I swear I'll kill Itachi."

"Don't touch him," Asuma commanded.

"You're not the boss of me!" Gai hissed quickly.

"If you want to die, Gai, then go ahead," he opened the door walking out. "Find Itachi, I'll see you at your funeral." He moved out the door not even saying goodbye to either of them as Gai looked down at Kakashi.

"I'm not going to let you die in vain," Gai whispered. "I promise."

-----

Pain returned to his body as his onyx eyes opened to see his teammates sitting next to him on the bed. Their eyes were swollen with tears as they held his hand tightly, smiles on their faces. His eyes were clouded with the visions of the other side, the cold loneliness that was inside of the darkness. He took a deep breath as he held their hands back, hearing them gasp in shock

"Sasuke," Sakura breathed. "You're alright."

The vision of his surroundings became clear as he looked at them. There was a relishing feeling breath rolling into his lungs, to hear the beeping of the EKG. I thought I was dead. I saw everything that I saw before. The clashes of the purple of the white lights, it was all rolling behind my eyes. The beeping was louder as he fully came to, his consciousness returning.

"Welcome back," Sakura breathed looking straight into his eyes.

He looked around. "What the hell… why are you guys crying? What happened?"

She held his hand tighter her green eyes. "Oh Sasuke…" she was still crying, her voice low and shaking. "We thought… we thought that we lost you forever. Oh Sasuke, I thought you were dead."

Sasuke's eyes closed as he looked out the window. His brother, he didn't want to do this to him, he didn't want to kill him. The promise that his brother made all of the years ago, the same that Naruto had given him. He swore that he would never let anything happen to him. That included death.

The breath of those steamy nights all that time back during the thunderous noises of the nights. Warmth circulated through his body again. No, one touch and I'm already going crazy with desire. Water formed in his eyes, why was Itachi doing this to him? The nights way back when, when he held him tighter and tighter every night, pushing him deeper into his chest. Was his brother in love with him?

"You're hate for me is still not strong enough. You're still that little kid begging me not to kill you. And you hide it horribly. You don't hate me, you fear me. There's a big difference. And we accept our fears once we realize that they aren't so bad."

His lips were still pressed up against his in his mind, his breathing becoming ragged. Itachi was right there in his mind, right on top of him holding him tighter. Heat roiled harder as he looked at the blood on his sheets. Itachi…

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked as he touched Sasuke's face. "Are you alright? You're sweating."

"A-am I?" Sasuke asked looking at his teammates. "I'm just really tired, that's all. I'm tired, Naruto, don't worry about me. It's not like I'm dying."

"You've already died twice," Naruto continued. "The doctors are apologizing to the morgue for calling them right now. They called your time of death two hours ago, Sasuke, you were supposed to die right then and there. It's a miracle that you were able to come back."

Sasuke looked at Sakura avoiding Naruto's glance. "Miracle? This is not a miracle, Naruto, this is sheer luck. I'm damn lucky for being able to go on like this. So many… so many people would have given up by now, but ever since that night I feel closer to my goal. I feel as though my hatred is strong enough to make him pay for what he did to me. He's going to pay for what he did to me with his life."

"Can you do that even after he came in here?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke breathed harder. "I'm an avenger; I'm not going to let him run free after what he's done to me, to Kakashi, to our clan. He's gotten away with too much and it's time he paid for it." He took a breath lightly. "I'm not going to let him continue what he did to me on you two."

Naruto shook his head. "You need to wake up from this dream of yours."

Sasuke's eyes closed tightly. "I made up my mind. Too long I've been submitting to him. He treated me like I was a bother. Now he's going to be the bother; he's going to be the one who is going to beg me not to kill him."

The pain from his words was roiling behind his eyes as he looked at them. A tear fell down his cheek even though he was trying to stay stoic. The twenty-fifth principle rolled through his head. A ninja never shows his emotions, no matter what the circumstance is, feelings are cloud his judgment and weaken his sense of duty. He couldn't let them see him cry, not over this.

"You don't need to be brave," Naruto soothed. "We aren't going to think any less of you if you cry, Sasuke. We both did, you don't see us acting ashamed of it." He touched Sasuke's face. "Come on, just cry a little, you don't need to break down or sob."

Sasuke let a tear fall down his face. "N-Naruto… I didn't want this… I didn't want him to use me like that." He wrapped his arm around the blond boy. "I-I was looking for you guys and you never showed. I told myself it was only for a little while, that I wasn't going to be alone for too long. But when he came out… I…" he tightened his grip, "… I lost my mind in my horrible dream to finally put my brother in his place. I wasn't scared until I felt his mouth…"

Naruto held on tighter. "Sasuke…"

"I didn't think he would do it, I thought he would just say I wasn't worth his time. I thought he was going to leave me alone, Naruto," he took another deep breath. "And I couldn't fight the feelings, it felt so good and I hate myself for letting him hurt me like that. I'm so disgusting."

"You're not disgusting," Naruto argued holding onto him tighter. "Don't you ever let me hear you say that again! You're going to get out of here in no time, and I promise that I'm going to help you through this. I'm going to take your pain away. I'm going to make you whole again."

Naruto held him tighter looking over at Sakura seeing the jealousy rolling through her body as Sasuke cried harder and harder up against his body. She didn't just want to make him whole again, she wanted to be with him forever, she wanted to make seem as though it never happened, showing that it didn't matter.

"Thank you," Sasuke breathed holding onto Naruto tighter. "Thank you…"

He let out a wince, the sling on his left arms starting to become uncomfortable. It was stretching the muscles in his shoulders. His eyes moved to see his fingers moving. That couldn't be possible; there was no way that he was even able to fathom that much strength. How could he do that? The doctors said that he was most likely never going to be able to move that arm again. The muscles were still too weak after what had happened, the teeth marks still embedded in the connective tissue.

"What the hell?" Sasuke asked trying to move his left arm, it moved toward him with no pain. No way in hell… how did that just happen? Only a few days ago I wasn't even able to move an inch.

Naruto looked at Sasuke's hand. "You're moving… it's not destroyed."

"I guess not," the Uchiha answered. He looked at his arm moving it closer to his other arm, this was not possible. There was no way that he was even able to understand this. This wasn't supposed to be this soon. But then it hit him: Itachi had kissed him on the arm, but here was no way that a kiss would be able to cure everything. What kind of jutsu was this? Mystical Palms? No, Itachi didn't know medical ninjutsu.

He looked down his legs. What good is having two arms if he destroyed my legs? What the hell is the point of even going on if I'm not going to be able to move anymore? He's taken everything from me.

Sakura smiled. "You'll be out of here in no time at all."

He took a deep breath looking away from them, his eyes still filled with tears. "What's the point? What are we going to be able to do? We don't have a sensei, you two, and what are we without Kakashi?" the rain hit harder. "He's destroyed this team, because it's mine and he's become hostile toward me over the past few days. He's stopping at nothing to kill me."

"If he wanted to kill you, you'd be dead," Naruto continued. "He wouldn't have just raped you or killed Kakashi right in front of you if he wanted you to die. He would have gone after you. He wants to, but there's something in his mind that's telling him to stop."

Sasuke scoffed. "What do you know?"

"I know that you're in pain," Naruto answered. "I know that on the inside you're hurting, you wish that this was all just a nightmare that you're going to wake up from. You don't want it to be true, you want to wake up and have your dignity back."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke huffed.

"You know what I'm talking about," Naruto answered. "You got your arm back, it can move, yet all you can look at is your legs. Look on the bright side for once."

Sasuke closed his eyes. "I-I think it would be best if I was alone."

"Sasuke," Sakura begged. "I know you don't want to be alone right now."

"I…" he took a breath. "I want to be alone… just leave."

Naruto stood up and looked back at his best friend. "Stop trying to hide that you're in pain. It's not good for you in this troubled time. If you need anybody to help you through this when you get out, you know where we are. We'll come to help you, Sasuke, don't let your pride get in the way."

The two left the room, Sasuke's eyes closing tightly trying not to think about what happened. He had the opportunity to kill his brother that night. He could have added a little more chakra to make the punch to the chest semi-fatal. The voices in his head were telling him that he didn't want to do it, and now he knew why.

"Itachi," Sasuke whimpered quietly. "I-I think I'm falling for you…" he started to breath jaggedly every inhalation burning his lungs. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he heard the words that he just said roll around in his mind. The blood on that night when he went into the house, the bodies of his parents, the smile on Itachi's face, how could he think about uttering those words while the memories were still fresh in his mind?

His weeping turned into sobbing his voice crying out loudly thinking about what he had done. Itachi was the reason why he was still alive, the reason that he was trying so hard in life. The reason that he got high marks at the academy. The reason why he strived to succeed on all of their missions. The reason why he didn't let himself die that night. Now he had found a way into his heart into the place where he knew he would never be able to hurt him.

"No," he remembered the broken seal on the wall the day they found Shisui's body. How could he degrade himself like that? He was becoming disgusting just like how the guards described Itachi. He was in love with his one true hate.

"You're hate for me is still not strong enough. You're still that little boy begging me not to kill you, and you hide it horribly. You don't hate me, you fear me. There's a big difference, and we accept our fears once we realize that they aren't so bad."

"Fuck you," he breathed shaking his head, his sobs getting louder. "Itachi… you prick… get out of my mind. I don't want to love you. I want to hate you. Why did you do this to me?" he buried his face in his hands. "I didn't want this… I didn't want to love you even back then. I wanted to hate you, Itachi…"

"And we accept our fears once we realize that they aren't so bad."

His brother's voice wouldn't cease, he would never forget. He was always going to be right there beside him, always going to invade his mind. What happened to him that night? To Itachi? What came over them that made them let it go on? The feelings aroused one question in Sasuke's mind: was it really rape? Or did he want it?

"Did I want it?" he let out another loud sob thinking about what he had done, the crimes that he had just committed to himself. Everything that he worked so hard for was thrown away in less than a week. What was the point in even trying? Why was he hanging on every time he was dying, why didn't he just die when he had the chance?

His eyes shut tightly, his breathing erratic trying to hold back the tears as he remembered back to the days of his youth. "I swear I won't let anything happen to you, Sasuke." He closed his eyes tighter. "That's bullshit, Itachi," he pulled the blankets closer, closing his eyes, trying to erase he memories.

-----

"Why did you take me here?" Sakura asked looking over at Naruto.

He looked up. "To get your mind off of Sasuke, it's depressing you, Sakura. Ever since we found him by the river you've been… distant. You've been acting like every time we leave that room you're never going to see him again. He'll be there when we come back. He just wanted some time alone."

Sakura watched as the bowls of ramen were put in front of them, the steam rolling off of the top. Even as she looked into the liquid that the ramen was in all she could think of was that day she was holding Sasuke half dead in her arms. The choking sounds were still in her ears. She could never forget.

"Sasuke…" she breathed.

Naruto sighed, his hand moving to hold hers. "He's going to be alright, Sakura."

"You don't have to lie to me, Naruto," she whispered. "I know that he's in pain, I know that he's going to hate himself for what happened that night. He was raped, Naruto, he can't walk. We're not sure if he'll ever be in the right state of mind to continue his ninja career."

Naruto shook his head. "Sakura… I know the pain that he's going through. I know how it feels to be worthless. He feels like he can't go on anymore because of what happened he was too weak to stop it."

She took a pair of chopsticks looking at the food. "They're trying to get him to walk tomorrow. It's going to be a major accomplishment for him." She smiled looking over at Naruto. "You're right, why should I let this depress me."

"Don't hide your pain," Naruto soothed, almost contradicting himself.

"What do you want Naruto? Do you want me to hide my pain or let it all out? You said both are unacceptable. Do you want me to be like you and try to detach from what's going on whenever you're not around him. There was a time where you couldn't even face him," she shook her head looking away from him. "And then when you did face him… you made it seem like he has a disease, like he's disgusting to you."

Naruto slammed his hand up against the table. "You don't know what it was like to know that I did this to him. I was the one who made this all happen, if I only… if I could have been in walking with him Itachi wouldn't have…"

Sakura closed her eyes. "Why are we talking about this?"

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked.

"We're supposed to have some relaxation time from watching our comrade die. And we're sitting here and that's all that we're talking about. Sasuke… you never were a fan of the subject before, you always got so jealous of him because you wanted to be the one who got my attention," she inhaled a sharp breath. "Whenever I used to say his name you got the look in his eyes making me think you were going to kill him." She laughed her eyes watering. "In the beginning you guys were competing over everything. You never got to see who was best; you never really got the chance to have your final showdown."

Naruto saw the tears in her eyes. "Sakura…"

"I remember that night so well, the night when it happened," she smiled broader. "You two actually left on good terms, you even hugged him before he walked off, promising that you were going to meet him by the river. I'd never seen you two act like friends before that instead of rivals," she cried once. "But then… we never showed up, and by the time we did remember that he was waiting for us it was too late."

"I ran from the screaming," Naruto answered. "I should've recognized the voice; it was his now that I think about it. It was his voice, his screams, and he was screaming one word," he closed his eyes tightly a single tear rolling down his cheek. "I-Itachi…"

"His brother's name, he was trying to get him away from his as fast as he could. He was reaching out to the people of this village, and they let him down…"

The two of them sat in silence looking at the ramen, Naruto sighing before he said. "Looks good…"

"Yeah…" she stated almost silently.

"We should eat it before it gets too cold," he looked over at her. "Or have you lost your appetite?"

"I'll eat it," she whispered.

The two of them stirred through the ramen with their chopsticks fighting the tears that were streaming down their faces. He should have been right next to them right now saying that he didn't eat ramen in that cool tone of his. The smirk that should be on his face was piercing through their minds, but there was nothing there but an empty seat. No Sasuke hesitating to show that he truly wanted to ask Naruto if he could eat some of his ramen, no Kakashi to tell them to calm down while flipping through his book; they were on their own as of now.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" a voice stated from behind them. "Looks like forehead girl and Uzumaki are out on a date."

Sakura bowed her head as she stated one word. "Ino…"

The blond girl walked closer. "You finally find out that Sasuke isn't into you so you go for Naruto? Wow, you really have hit rock bottom."

Sakura breathed as she looked into the bowl one of her salty tears hitting the liquid. "What are you doing here Ino?"

"Asuma-sensei told me and Shikamaru to meet him, that he had something important to tell us. Chouji backed out last minute, he felt as though he didn't need to come," Ino laughed as she walked to sit down next to Sakura her blue eyes still closed. "He didn't sound too happy; he actually sounded really upset. To make a jounin that way, let alone Asuma-sensei, it must have been pretty heavy."

Sakura sniffled. "Y-you don't say… what did he want to talk to you about?"

"Apparently a student in our graduating class is in the hospital. I guess something happened to him. He couldn't say anymore before he told us to meet him saying that he could do it better in person," Ino laughed as she looked over Shikamaru. "What do you think it was about, Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru shrugged sitting next to Ino. "Whoever it was something bad must have happened to him."

Sakura's body started shaking more as she heard the words, not able to hold back the tears anymore, her hands moving to cover her face. Her sobs grew louder as Ino looked upon her and only one word left Ino's lips.

"S-Sasuke…" she opened her eyes wider. "Was it Sasuke? What happened to him, Sakura? What happened to Sasuke?"

Sakura looked into her once best friend's eyes. "You mean you haven't heard what happened? The break in at the hospital? The clamor by the river nine days ago? The screams? You haven't heard about any of it?"

"Sakura, I have no clue what you're talking about," Ino stated confusion in her voice. "What happened to him? Why are you crying? Is he that bad?"

Sakura took a deep breath. "Sasuke… nine days ago… he was down by the river waiting to meet us. We never showed up until the next day and I will never forget it…" she took a breath as she closed her eyes tighter. "He was curled up in a bloody ball, his skin was so white and he was so cold. When we got him there he was barely breathing. They… they had to revive him… it took four hits to finally get his heart beating again. I thought lost him…"

Ino shook her head. "But what happened to him? Why was he like that?"

"You know his brother right." Sakura stated. "Itachi Uchiha?"

"The S-Class criminal?" Shikamaru asked. "The one who wiped out the Uchiha clan in a single night. He's a wanted criminal, what does he have to do with this?"

"What did he do to Sasuke?" Ino asked her eyes watering.

Sakura looked over at Naruto; she couldn't form the words to tell them what happened. The guilt was still strong in her body, how could she explain the most traumatic experience of his life?

Naruto looked at Ino. "Ino… he was… his brother met him down by the river and he…" he swallowed hard his blue eyes closing. "He took something from him that he is never going to get back, something that he wasn't offering. He… touched him… he…"

Ino's eyes widened. "You mean… he… raped him?"

Sakura sobbed harder as she looked at Naruto. "I can't believe they didn't know. Didn't Asuma tell you? I thought they told everyone"

"Asuma-sensei's been out of it lately, he's been acting like he's lost something," Shikamaru continued as he looked at Sakura. "He hasn't even been smoking the cigarettes, but he's been coughing more. I don't know what happened to him, but something happened two days ago that the whole village is in uproar about."

Naruto looked over at them. "You really don't know what's going on?"

Ino looked over at Sakura and wrapped her arms around her in a hug. "We don't know why everyone's so upset. What happened after Sasuke was put into the hospital? What happened two days ago, Naruto?"

Naruto took a deep breath. "Itachi Uchiha… he's back. He broke into the hospital and several ANBU guards were killed in the battle. Thanks to that attack, Sasuke's treatment was set back and the likeliness of him being able to get out of there anytime soon is becoming more and more false."

"He's back?" Ino asked. "What does he want?"

"What else?" Naruto asked. "He wants Sasuke…"

Sakura looked over into the distance as she thought of the words. Sasuke… it hurts to know that he's somewhere out there. He wants you, and he's going to stop at nothing to obtain what he wants. I don't want him to take you from me Sasuke. She hugged Ino tighter. Sasuke… I love you… I don't want to lose you.

-----

The rain hit the window harder as he tried to continue to sob, his eyes growing dry. He had been crying for hours now, hating himself more and more with every passing moment. Red eyes danced in his mind transforming into the ebony ones that he used to seek comfort in during the cold nights when he had nothing to hold onto. Now they just filled him with hate. The comfort was gone. He had nowhere to turn.

"I'm going to kill you," he whispered as he looked over at the cabinet that held all of his belongings. "As soon as they let me out of here, Itachi, you're going to pay for what you did to me," he coughed. "You think you can use me and leave me here to die? I don't die that easily. You're going to have to work harder."

The beeping of the EKG filled his ears as he closed his eyes, the second hand was moving vividly as he thought about the times he was going to endure when he got out of there. "You think I'm going to hand Naruto over for power? I'm not like you, I'm not going to do what you did to Shisui, I'm going to keep my promise."

"Don't die… promise me that you're going to come out of this all alive. If you think about dying before I do. If you even think about it, I'll hate you. "

"I won't Naruto, I'm not going to give up now after all of these years. I have to kill you Itachi, to prove to myself that I don't love him; my body does not crave his. I want to put an end to you just like you wanted to do to me. He's going to give me what I deserve after all of this time," he looked at the clock closing his eyes. "I'm going to take his life. He killed me… I kill him, it's only fair.

"Your hate for me is still not strong enough. You're still that little boy begging me not to kill you, and you hide it horribly. You don't hate me, you fear me. There's a big difference, and we accept our fears once we realize that they aren't so bad."

"Fuck you, Itachi, you and your Goddamn purpose."

Author's Note: This was another chapter where it seemed like the plot didn't really drive forward, but the next conflict is coming really soon. Thank you for putting up with how long this chapter was, I really appreciate it. So what did you all think? Good? Bad? Want the next chapter really soon? Tell me what you think. Remember, honesty.

The next chapter they're going to try to see if Sasuke can still walk, Itachi comes back in a flashback from their youth. I would also like to warn Sakura haters in advance, there's some real SasuSaku in the next chapter (sorry.)