Swollen Obsidian Eyes Chapter 16, a naruto fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything involved in the anime/manga

Warnings: This chapter contains blood/violence, incest, yaoi, coarse language, OOC, and this is where the canon is no longer a factor (it's already dead). There night also be some errors littered here and there that I didn't pick up, so bear with me. This is also pretty long (approx 15 pages). I hope you enjoy.

Pairings: ItaSasu, Itachi/? (man in robe), references to ShisIta, some ItaSaku and ItaIno (not much), slight onesided SasuSaku and SasuIno (not much)

"You know why I wanted you to come here, right?" a voice asked as he came closer to the edge of the river. "Come closer," he turned to look back at him. "You're late, Itachi."

He stepped closer. "What's the point of this? Why did you urge me to see you tonight?" he took a deep breath. "Shisui, there's something going on with you."

Dark eyes looked up into his. "Itachi, one of us is going to die here tonight…"

He opened his eyes to look around the room, it was a just a dream. He had been thinking about these memories often, he could only think of Shisui when he was in the prison of his old house. This one seemed the most real of all, the feeling of anticipation that was running through his body as he stepped closer to his best friend, his heart was still racing in his chest. These past nights had been torture for him. How cold he go on like this? How much longer could he try to block out who he was to set an example for what a ninja should be.

His eyes gazed around the room, ahead to Sasuke who was on the bed his head to the side facing away from him. It had gotten better since last night. The once pained movements of his chest were transformed into soft rises and falls, the sound of breath was for once gentle.

"How long was I asleep?" he asked as he moved from Sasuke's chest feeling the young boy's hand touching the back of his head. The warmth of Sasuke's sweaty sheets stuck to his face as he moved back hearing the moan of protest. "Have I been asleep for that long?"

The clouds outside of the window were white for once after the long storm that was still running through his ears. Sasuke wasn't awake to experience another night of absolute fear; he was asleep when it was going on. He was still asleep when Itachi had his collapse, he didn't hsve to see that pain.

"Today's the day," Itachi breathed as he looked at his hands. "This is the day when I finally improve that jutsu. I'm going to perfect it," he looked at Sasuke's slumbering form, "for you."

Moving closer, Itachi lightly kissed Sasuke's lips touching the moist flesh of his cheek. He was going to awaken eventually; he had already been sleeping for over twenty-four hours. Did he want to wake him? Did he really want to put him back in this world of misery and pain that was so intricately put together with everything that Itachi did? That would kill him for sure.

He decided that it was all up to him, to finally prove his worth to himself. Sasuke didn't have to watch this, not as his brother broke down right in front of him. All of Sasuke's dreams, all of his ambitions had revolved around Itachi's strength, even now. Did he want to break his heart one more time and show Sasuke that all of those four years was a lie, that his brother wasn't the person that he thought? No, even with all his emotions struggling, he couldn't hurt Sasuke. He wasn't going back on his word. He had to stop breaking his promise.

He moved back, the pain in his ribcage stabbing more than ever. For the past month, the pain of bones piercing into him was running through his lungs, but never was it this bad. The fight with Asuma brought upon pain that he never wanted to feel before in his life. What did the jounin do that caused that much damage?

The desk, it was all so clear now. When he was slammed face first into the desk, even though he swore that he caught himself before he could put any more stress on his body, the gasps of air only brought his lungs closer to the bone. After seventeen years he was finally going to end his life, after all of the times where he thought he would never get out alive, his death was by the hand of who he loved.

Everyone was right, he was expendable. He was able to be tossed aside easily, because he didn't matter. Yet that was the food for his strength, he wasn't supposed to matter to anyone that was around him. He was just a pawn in all of their games, and that made him content with his life. There was hitch in that plan now, Sasuke thought more of him than just being a pawn, he needed him more than he needed anything in this world. When he saw him cough up blood all of those times showed that he was finally feeling sorry after four years. It made Sasuke wish that he knew Mystical Palms to save his life.

Struggling to his feet he could still hear all of the words that Sasuke had said to him. Through the tears and the screams that seeped through the young boy's lips, he found some reason. It wasn't just angry gibberish; he meant every word to somehow make Itachi realize that the way he was living was reckless.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, Itachi. I've been searching the memories, searching my heart for all of the memories of you. If you love me then you would feel guilt for that night."

He felt his heart wrench as he remembered that night, all of the nights where he feared he would lose Sasuke forever. He was losing the battle against Konoha, all Sasuke could see was what Itachi was four years ago the night when everyone died. He didn't know how he was now.

"People like you don't change, once apathetic, always apathetic; you can't change your character. You can say all that you want, but you're still the same. You broke my heart; you can't take that back again. You use me, you abuse me, you make me worry, what do you expect me to do?"

"Is that how you really feel?" Itachi asked looking down at Sasuke's sleeping form. "I use you, I abuse you, I make you worry, and it all kills you on the inside. Is that how you feel when you're around me?" he closed his eyes. "You did well, Sasuke. You hated me, detested me, and you lived a shameful life. All of the true feelings that I have for you aren't returned, you took all of your love and you turned it into hate," he closed his eyes tighter. "You did well, better than I thought you would. Yet, I keep feeling that this is all a lie, you don't really hate me do you?" he laughed running a hand through his hair walking out the door. "Looks like you're going to need more training… if you ever want to kill me."

"Tell me what you're doing with me! Tell me what I am to you. Am I just a toy for your sick pleasure or do you really respect me the way that you say you do?"

He walked out the door closing it behind him. "After all of this time no matter how much I hurt him, he's never going to hate me. I was right all along, the child isn't capable of hate because he cares too much," he looked up into the white clouds smiling. "Maybe the choices I've made aren't so bad after all, maybe there was a reason for me to go through all of that pain," he closed his eyes. "But still… life isn't working out these days," he turned around to look at the door behind him, his eyes burning with sorrow. "He's not going to get any better, and that guy is still out there."

"I never thought I'd see you running from a fight. The Great Itachi Uchiha, prodigy of the Uchiha clan is running away from a battle when it was far from done, you went easy on him, you're growing soft."

He slammed his fist up against the wall as he closed his eyes tightly trying to block out the voice. "Damn it!" he feel up against the wall sliding down to the ground. He was getting weaker throughout all of this time. Is that the reason why the Akatsuki kicked him out? Was it because they knew he would never get the nine-tails on his own?

"Damn it," he looked down at his feet opening his eyes slightly moving his hand to touch his knee, the ring shining on his finger teasing his sanity. The moments that he in that organization took his soul away, he was barely alive. His heart was barely beating in his chest. Quickly, he moved his fingers to wrap around the ring, slowly pulling it off of the digit clutching it tightly.

All of this was hitting him too fast as he remembered the few days before he wandered aimlessly to the village seeking this purpose, this was his last chance to prove to himself that he didn't let Shisui down. That day by the Nakano River went through his mind, what if he was the one with his head held under the water?

"Damn it," he repeated as he looked at the ring, the pain still surging through his body, all of the wounds that were etched into him screaming at once. He was slowly dying on himself. He was going to leave Sasuke behind; all of this was going to get too heavy for him. Would he last a second once they came after him? Sasuke wasn't going to let this happen, he would try to work around it. Life wasn't that simple. If only it could be as simple as that.

He let go of the ring as he heard another cough behind him looking straight at it. All he could see was the water splashing as Shisui drowned, all he could hear were the muffled screams of his best friend. Why did it have to come to that? It could have been different than it was, it could have been Shisui sitting here thinking his life was a just a waste of time, Itachi wasn't worth this much. This wasn't fair; he was the one who wanted to die. He was the one who deserved to die.

"Time for sitting around is over," he sighed as he moved to his feet, looking off into the distance. "It's now or never."

Closing his eyes, he cleansed his mind of all of the stress from the past days. He couldn't think of all of that right now. Everything that Kakashi said, all of the pain that Sasuke was going through, it all had to be put behind him. Itachi had to focus on his hands, fearing that the flow of chakra in his body had been diminished with all of his injuries. He could feel the power surging to his hands. This was step one.

Step two; he had to remember what Sakura had done that day when he tried to kill Kakashi. The goal of having her use that jutsu was not for her to actually heal him, it was to give him the blueprint of the basics of it.

He opened his eyes to his hand glowing brightly, smiling at the fact, it usually took people months to even get this far, but he wasn't an ordinary person. He had surpassed everyone's expectations when he mastered every single jutsu that his father had thrown at him including the sharingan by the time he was eight. Nothing that anyone could thrust upon on him would bring him down.

"That was easy," he smiled looking at the glowing hand. "Why is everyone always complaining about this being so hard?"

He moved his shaking hand to his chest, the last step, test it out. The formation was easy enough; he mastered a technique in less than a day. Or so he thought. The second that the touched the area over his chest, he felt a pain run through his body a visible tremor running through his body.

"Shit," he cried out as he coughed, the largest amount of blood he had seen seep from his lips hitting the ground, the red liquid running off of the edge, continuing to drip from his mouth. "Shit!" he wiped the excess blood away from his lips still feeling the ripping feeling running through his body.

The blood continued to drip with every breath that he took, more pressure from his ribcage pushing on his lungs. "I shouldn't… use myself as a test subject," he coughed again as he watched the blood run through the cracks underneath the door into Sasuke's room. His weight fell against the door as he closed his eyes trying his hardest to think about what he was doing. This was going to take long. Even as a prodigy, it would take at least a week to get the jutsu down.

"Shit," he cursed again as he watchd blood continue to fall on his lap, his eyes becoming blurred from the sudden loss. "I have to keep on trying," he gazed into the clouds, remembering what everyone said, even what Shisui said on the fateful day.

"You think you can beat me, Itachi? You are so dumb aren't you? You know after all of this time it would have to come down to this. We are the only two ninja in this clan who could survive the transition. But can your body take a little blood loss, kid?"

Itachi closed his eyes tightly. "Shisui, you were wrong about me. I can still make it through this. My body can take more than the average person's, I'm in control," he coughed again more blood seeping through his lips, his throat burning from the pressure. "I was the one who arose victorious after all, and I made them all pay for what they did to me, just like I said I would."

He lightly touched at his chest as he closed his eyes. "Let's try this again."

-----

"Our little secret." The words that he had said to her that day still went through her mind. The day when he came to her was the strangest moment of her life. Contrary to all of the rumors that she had heard, Itachi wasn't the evil sociopath that everyone said that he was; he was actually nice to her. All he said were compliments and words of trust; he didn't even raise his voice at her. Was that who Sasuke was trying to kill all of these years? Was that the monster he kept talking about? Sakura didn't see it.

"Sakura, are you sure you're okay?" Ino asked as she continued to walk down the street. "You're spacing out."

"What?" Sakura asked she looked over at her friend. "Oh, sorry."

"Are you really alright? Ever since we left the hospital you've been quiet," Ino looked forward as she smiled broadly. "You're thinking about Sasuke again aren't you?"

Sakura closed her eyes tightly remembering the way his lips felt up against her hand, the way his fingers felt running through her hair. He showed more interest in her than anyone else ever had. Sasuke had called her annoying on more than one occasion and Naruto was pushing her away. When Itachi could have left, he stayed.

"Yeah," Sakura answered. "I'm thinking about Sasuke, how did you know?"

Ino scoffed as she brushed her ponytail off of her shoulder. "Oh come on, every time you get like this you're always thinking of him. I haven't seen him in a while, is he alright? The last time that anyone saw him was yesterday."

Sakura's eyes widened as she remembered. "Yesterday?"

"No one has. I've been around town asking for him, but everyone has given me the same answer. They saw him last night, but since then he's been gone."

She moved one foot in front of the other faster as she started to run away from Ino. He could be hurt. Sasuke could be in trouble just like he was that night. Heart racing in her chest, she only ran faster to get closer to him. She wasn't going to be late this time, she wasn't going to go through that pain again.

"Sakura! Slow down!" she heard Ino scream behind her as she started to run.

I have to get to him, Sakura thought. Before anyone else does. She stopped as she got to the river's edge seeing a man sitting by the river's edge in a dark robe staring off into the water, his body barely moving as the wind blew at the robe, the fabric flapping in the wind. Sakura started to walk toward the edge.

"Sakura?" Ino asked as she watched her friend continue to walk. "What is going on with you? What are you doing?"

"You can go somewhere else if you want," Sakura answered still walking forward to the figure which stayed fixed on staring at the water. Who could it be? There was so much shady action going on these days in Konoha. Was this a new person?

She walked to the edge of the water next to the figure as it spoke. "What are you doing here, Sakura?"

She gasped. "How do you know my name?" she looked back and saw Ino. "About time you caught up."

"Sakura," she gasped for air. "You can't go after every mysterious person that you see. That's how people get kidnapped and raped, you know," she looked at the man in the robe. "Who is this guy anyway?"

Sakura touched his right arm hearing him hiss in pain. "You're hurt."

The man coughed as blood fell into the water of the Nakano River as he muttered an incoherent curse. Sakura knew the action, she knew the cough, she knew the voice. She had seen this all before in her life, but the question was where did she see all of this? Then it hit her as she saw the hand, the purple nail polish.

"Itachi?" she asked touching the hand. "Is that you?"

He held her hand, squeezing it tightly. "Be quiet about it, Sakura."

"Why are you down by the river?" Sakura asked, recognizing the exact location. This was where it happened; this was where she and Naruto had run down to see their fallen comrade. He had returned to the site where he had raped Sasuke a month ago. Usually she would think he was relishing in his conquest, but judging by the way he was aimlessly staring, perhaps it was guilt.

"Just thinking," Itachi answered as he tried to ignore Ino behind him. "You brought someone else?"

"Ino?" Sakura asked. "She can't hurt anything."

Ino sat next to Itachi. "You're Itachi Uchiha?" she asked, her hand moving to grab his shoulders pushing him to the ground hearing him gasp in pain. "Why? Why did you do that to my sensei?"

Itachi turned his head to the side as he felt her slam her fists up against his chest, one push of force hitting the bruises that were on the left side right above the bruise that Sasuke had left him with. A glut of blood passed his lips rolling down the slope of the ground into the water.

"Shit," he muttered as he pushed her off continuing to cough, more blood falling from his lips hitting the ground in great amounts. "Your sensei was Asuma Sarutobi, right? It was unfortunate what happened to him, I know you must be in pain right now. You hate me and you have every right to," he pulled the hood off of his head as he wiped the blood from his lacquered lips. "How much blood can I lose today?"

Ino looked at him as he continued to wheeze, small droplets of blood falling from his lips. "Did I do that?"

He shook his head looking over at her with empty eyes. "I've had that problem for a month now. You didn't do anything." Wiping the sweat from his forehead he looked over at the two girls. "But what are twelve-year-old girls doing walking home alone? Don't you know it's dangerous out here? You never know when you'll run into a criminal."

Sakura gazed at the amount of blood. "I thought I healed you."

Itachi laughed. "You did."

"Then why?" Sakura asked. "Why are you still like this?"

He moved his hand to stroke her face. "Because even the best ninjutsu cannot heal wounds like this, this wound is not supposed to be healed. Sasuke did this to fulfill his dream of finally killing me, and it's not going to cease until he succeeds."

"He doesn't want to kill you," Sakura answered as she watched his eyes move back to the river. "Sasuke just wants you to pay attention to him. These days he's been acting different, like he can finally understand that people are people, that we all aren't just pawns in a game. He understands that his life has meaning. You don't have to die to prove that meaning."

"Sakura," Itachi continued. "If only it all was that easy. If only I could just go to him and say that I'm sorry. I can't though, would you forgive someone if they killed your family, everyone who was precious to you. I don't want him to forgive me; I don't even want him to acknowledge me. If I walk through life alone then so be it. It's better that way."

Ino looked at Itachi. "So why are you doing all of this? Why did you hurt my sensei?" she slapped him across the face more blood falling from his lips. "Why are you hurting all of these people if you don't care?"

"That's why I do it," Itachi answered with a sigh, "because I don't care. I don't care about what happens to me. Whatever happens happens for a reason, there's no avoiding it once it occurred. I know that I've done some acts that hurt you two. I know that I destroyed your sensei, Ino. I know that I've hurt Sasuke, Sakura. But in my heart I hold no place for any signs of remorse, everything that I do is for a reason, a reason that drives me to keep on living."

Sakura looked as Itachi stood up looking off into the river. He's a lot like Sasuke, they have similar personalities. Itachi isn't really a criminal, he's a confused person who feels that he should be in control of his own life, in control of his own destiny. He understood that in order to do that he had to destroy all of the attachments that he had once had. She closed her eyes. "How do you live like that?"

He stopped as he started to walk away turning to her a he took a deep breath. "I live this way because it's the path that I have chosen. I could have chosen another, but only misery would have awaited me. I have no regrets for what I do. Regret is showing an attachment, attachment is a way to compensate a flaw."

"So you're not attached to anything?" Sakura asked.

"I love you, Sasuke, I love you more than I love my own life. If you don't believe me, then take that kunai and run me through the heart."

Itachi closed his eyes not looking at her. "I never said that I was perfect, Sakura, I told you even geniuses have flaws. I guess there are a few things that make me less of a ninja. I'm greedy as hell."

Sakura stood up not looking back at Ino. "I know that you aren't weak. You master your kekkei genkai when you were at. You were an ANBU squad leader. People in ANBU aren't emotionally weak."

"There was a time where I was stronger, a time where there was nothing that was in my way. Now, there are so many events going on at once, it will make anyone break," he closed his eyes tighter. "But I can easily leave all of the attachments behind," he looked back at Ino. "Ino, that's your name right?"

Ino nodded. "Yes."

"Ino," Itachi turned around to walk toward her. "Your sensei was a good man," as he stood in front of her he looked down into her blue eyes his eyes easing up just a little. "He showed me a sympathy that no one else in this village has. His attempt was to knock some sense into me; he only wanted to save Konoha. He's worthy of my honor," he took her hand never breaking the eye contact. "You're going to become a great ninja under his control."

Ino blushed lightly as the hand was taken away. "Thank you, Itachi."

He turned around and started to walk away. "You two should get home before something happens to both of you. You don't want your parents to worry now do you?"

Sakura walked behind him. "Why are you down by the river?"

"I was looking for myself," he looked at his hands as he coughed one last time. "I didn't find anything," he turned to both of them. "Don't tell anyone that you saw me down here, our little secret."

Sakura moved closer wrapping her arms around his body pulling him closer to her. "I don't want you to get hurt. You mean more to Sasuke then you think that you do. I know he says that he hates you, that you know that's not true. He needs you to give him a purpose."

He wrapped his arms around her returning the hug. "I know that. I gave him a reason to live, and it's time for me to justify that reason. I have to find the reason in his madness. If he wants blood, I'll give him blood," he backed away from her to sit next to the river again. "Now go home."

Sakura nodded as she walked away Ino close in tow. She couldn't believe that she ran into him again after all of this time. She had almost feared that Sasuke had gotten at him after his incident at the Hokage's office. He was still alive, but barely judging by the pale completion of his face, there was very little that she could do for either of the brothers now, their lives being almost completely diminished.

"So are you interested in him now?" Ino asked as they slowed down. "Or are you still on Sasuke?"

Sakura looked over at her best friend. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb, I saw you hug him back there," Ino smiled. "And he seemed like he was interested in you. Then again, he was coming onto me too. Why can't Sasuke be like that?"

Sakura looked over at Ino as she rolled her eyes. "Because they're different people, Itachi just seems like he understands people more, he's darker than Sasuke?"

"You like dark men?" Ino asked as she continued walking. "I mean, he's a criminal, or did you forget what he did to Sasuke that night. There are some things in this world that you might not like, but they did happen. Sasuke is only acting this way because he feels the need to find some way to sort his life out."

Sakura closed his eyes as she remembered the look in Sasuke's eyes whenever talked about his brother. He could hide the feelings in his voice, but his eyes were always going to say that he was starting to understand after all of this time that all of the hate was never going to make him whole again. It was like he was going to forgive him.

Make the right choice, Sasuke; don't do something that you'll regret.

-----

"Damn it!" he coughed, more blood falling from his lips, his whole body shaking with intense tremors. The more he tried, the more that he was hurting himself. This was beyond the point of perfecting the jutsu; he just wanted to see if he could. Aggravation went through his body as every drop of blood fell to the ground. He was helpless, he was so weak. Why couldn't he do this?

Through the corner of his eye he saw the water of the river rolling hurriedly. On this very bank was the place where he had spilled so much of Sasuke's blood to the brink of him not being able to function anymore. In its dark water was the very place where Shisui had drawn his last breaths, the look on his face as he met him on this bank sent chills down his spine, Shisui's once warm eyes were so cold. Yet there wasn't just negative memories on this bank, back in the days of his youth, he used to sit with Shisui all night until the sun came up the next sunrise hurrying him home to get back to his father. This riverbank held so many memories, and now it could be the place where he could finally call it the end.

"One more time," he breathed, closing his eyes, the chakra circulating through his hand pressing it to his chest, a surging pain going through his heart from the power that it exerted, more blood running from his lips. "Shit!"

"Was that a curse?" a voice asked from behind him. "Really Itachi, I would have expected better from you. You've really hit rock bottom aren't you? You're testing a jutsu on yourself."

Itachi looked back at the man that was in the robe. "Who the hell are you?" he struggled to his feet as he clutched his chest trying to numb the pain. "You were there at Hokage's office. How do you know me?"

"Oh Itachi," the man stepped forward gently touching Itachi's face. "You don't think that I would know you? You're a person that doesn't go unnoticed. Everyone knows that you're here," he wrapped his hand around Itachi's chin. "I've missed you."

"Who are you?" Itachi asked feeling the man's other hand wipe the blood from his lips. "How do you know all of this?" he let out a shaky breath as he felt the hand under his chin touch at his cheek. "Who…?"

"Is it really important?" the man asked as he ran a hand through Itachi's ponytail, the teenager's pulse racing at the contact. "What are you trying to do all the way out here? What jutsu were you working on?"

Itachi shook his head closing his eyes. "Nothing," he felt his body being jerked around as he was now facing the river hands taking his own. "What are you trying to do to me? Who are you?"

"Answers will come soon enough," the man answered tightly grasping Itachi's wrists firmly. "You were trying Mystical Palms, I know you, Itachi. When there's a jutsu that you can't do, you continue to work at it. I can help you with it."

"But…" Itachi breathed, opening his eyes trying to turn around. "I…"

"Shhh," the man soothed. "Close your eyes and just let your mind go. Let all of the troubles that you've been holding in your soul just disappear for a few moments while you just focus on your hands. Keep your mind on your hands."

Itachi felt his hands fill with chakra. "Now what do I do?"

"You let all of your being go straight to your hands," the man answered letting Itachi's left wrist go moving to his cheek pushing his head to the side to kiss at his lips lightly, hearing the teenager's breathing stop right then and there, all of the chakra control that he once had disappearing from his hand.

"Who are you?" Itachi asked eyes still closed as he felt the man kiss him again. "Why are you here with me?"

"Because I wanted to see how much you can take," the man breathed taking Itachi's lips deeply, the young boy slipping his tongue past his lips his chest tightening as his heart raced faster in his chest feeling more blood bubbling in his throat.

He had felt these lips up against his before on one occasion, but everything about this man seemed different as he kept his eyes closed as promised. The way that his tongue fought with his with so much experience teeth gently grazing at the flesh tightening with the intensity of the kiss.

I know this feeling, he backed away trying to look into the man's eyes only seeing darkness. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't see past the shadows over his face. Kisses by this river, all of the memories of his encounters by this river all flowing back to him as the man's hand held his, he shivered at the feeling.

"Itachi," the man started as he held his hand tighter. "You can do this; you can master that jutsu no matter how much you don't believe in yourself. I have faith in you." he let the hand go as he stood up looking straight at the river. "It seems calm doesn't it, being this far out."

He closed his eyes as he looked away. "It is."

"You shouldn't be out here," the man answered as he placed a hand on Itachi's shoulder. "You'll catch a cold, go home for the night, you can train later. You've already got the basics," he started to walk away. "Just don't hurt yourself anymore."

He looked back at him. "What are you here for? Are you here to help me? Or are you here to destroy me?" his dark eyes looked up at the man, staring weakly as his face paled more. "Why are you here with me?"

The man laughed lightly. "You'll see in time, Itachi. You're smart; you can figure it out yourself. I don't need to give you all of the answers. You can do it all by yourself. You never wanted help before."

Itachi looked back into the water. "That's when I had all the answers, but then you show up and you take them all away. When you're around me it's like every plan that I formulated is never going to be good enough. You're there wherever I go, you're the only one who can make me feel like I'm going to lose."

"I scare you?" the man asked. "You'll find in time that I'm not that scary."

"You don't scare me, you trouble me," Itachi answered with a sigh. "It's like I can't have a moment's peace. Everybody has been coming to bother me; I can't even hear myself think."

"Are you sure it's not because you're next to the place where Shisui Uchiha died?" the man asked continuing to walk away.

Itachi's eyes widened as he thought back to that day, the pain was still deep in his eyes, the feeling of blood still streaming down his cheeks. He could still taste the blood on his lips as his vision blurred deeper his mind blacking out for a few seconds.

He moved forward coughing up another splash of blood as the man walked away, not saying a word. The visions of Shisui dead in his arms burned into his mind. That day when he met him a few days before he skipped the meeting that his father had told him to go to, he was the one who could have stopped it all, but his ego got in the way of any reason, but now he was like this. All of the pain was running through his mind. He had to get away from here.

He stood up and started to walk in the direction that he had come from. He stumbled with every step that he took, looking back at the puddle of blood that he had left behind. He had made a few mistakes that he should have thought of before doing, but there was no use worrying. One thing was on his mind: Sasuke. He was all he could think of as he pulled the hood over his head continuing to walk toward the place where he was still laying fast asleep. There was a burning in his chest as he moved forward.

Sasuke was still at home, if he had already awoken he would be distraught. Did he even know that two days had passed by since he had fallen asleep? Did he know anything that was going on?

His steps moved faster, his mind focusing on Sasuke alone in his bed, still asleep. He had to go back to take care of him. He couldn't do it by himself. Not to mention, with that man on the loose playing both sides of the spectrum, there was no telling what he was capable of.

-----

Lost in a maze of confusion, he arrived at the doorway of their house. He could feel the cold air seeping through the cracks as he opened the door seeing the pitch blackness, hearing no noise seeping through. He walked deeper toward Sasuke's room starting to hear the sound of heavy breathing.

"Sasuke?" Itachi asked as he touched the door lightly, hearing a cough leave the room. "Are you alright?" he closed his eyes as he pressed against the door harder.

All of this time when Sasuke was coughing before the day he passed out, he thought it was the cold that he said he had gotten over, but it was only getting worse. What would come next: pneumonia?

He opened the door to the bed room looking at the blood that had run underneath the door remembering the little progress that he made. There was nothing that he could to protect him anymore. Why did he even care? Sasuke had it imprinted in his mind that Itachi didn't care about anyone but himself. What made Sasuke even think that? Itachi was still here wasn't he?

Walking closer to the bed, he could hear the gentle breathing seeping through the young boy's lips. The last days were Hell, but now there was some peace to it. He could finally rest knowing that everything was going to go back to normal. Even if the times were getting bad.

"Oh Itachi, you don't think that I would know you? You're a person that doesn't go unnoticed. Everyone knows that you're here, I've missed you."

"Who was he?" he asked as he sat on the mattress feeling Sasuke's body move closer to his as he shivered lightly. "Sasuke," he moved down to kiss him lightly on the forehead hearing a light breath seep through the young boy's lips. "If only you knew," he saw the drops of blood that clung to his lips stick to his brother's forehead, red liquid running down the flesh onto the sheets. "If only you knew what you knew what was going to happen to us."

He closed his eyes getting up from the bed looking back at the door, it was now or never. They were coming for him; they already made their mark with the man by the river. No matter how much he longed to stay, the ring on his finger was teasing him telling him that one more moment could cost Sasuke his life. He couldn't have that. He had done what he had feared the most, he had become attached to something.

He couldn't go back on his words, he couldn't become what he hated, he couldn't care about the world that he ran away from. He was a fool to think that this was going to last much longer. Did Sasuke even care that he was in pain, always worried that every moment that they have could be their last? Now it was their last, he couldn't stay anymore.

"Are you going to keep running away? Are you going to leave me alone again, Itachi? When are you going to face your problems and look at me straight in the eyes? Look at me and tell me how you really feel."

"I love you more than I've loved anything, but I have to disappoint you," he stroked his face hearing him mutter something unintelligible. "Even if I don't like it."

He stood up starting to walk away only to feel the force of gravity to fall down to the floor more blood pouring from his lips. Why now? Why did all of the pain have to come back now as he was trying his hardest to leave Sasuke behind?

His coughing got louder as he moved his hands together. This is the last time that I'm doing this. I only have one chance. As the chakra circulated through his hands he let out a few deep breaths slowly trying to catch it, this was do or die. If he screwed up, then he was going to lose everything that he worked so hard for.

Pressing his hands up against his chest feeling another sensation running through his body, but this wasn't the same ripping sensation from before. He could actually feel less blood bubbling in his throat, a great amount of pain going away. Was he starting to understand how this jutsu worked?

"Mystical Palms?" he asked as he looked at his hands as he brought them away from his chest. Is this what the books were talking about? Is this medical ninjutsu? He smiled gently as he watched his hand continue to glow green. It's not perfect, and it's far from complete, but I can tell that there is power in my fingertips. I will never use this jutsu on someone else, not until it's perfect.

As he was lost in his thoughts, no longer thinking about what he had to do. He still could get off of the ground, his eyes diverting to the blood in the corner of the room: his blood. All of this time, everything that he did was to get Sasuke to join him, but it was more than that no matter how much he didn't want to believe it. He was in love with him, more than he was before. It was on the brink of obsession. How could he leave all of their moments behind?

"I'll be right here when you wake up, I promise…"

"I made a promise," he looked over at Sasuke who shifted onto his side his breath becoming louder as if he were stirring. He was waking up just in time to stop Itachi from leaving; it was the answer to the prayer that he had been repeating over and over. He was here now, like he promised.

Another cough passed Sasuke's lips accompanied by a weak word. "Itachi…?"

Itachi took his hand looking down at him. "I'm here, Sasuke, you can wake up. I'm here," he held his hand tighter watching his younger brother's eyes open. "I'm here, Sasuke," he took the hand and rested it up against his chest. "I'm alive."

Black irises opened to their full extent as deep breaths passed the young boy's lips. "Itachi… you're still here… I thought you would have…"

"Left?" Itachi asked looking down at him. "I couldn't, I can never leave you no matter how much I want to. I can't imagine leaving you alone now that we're together again. I made a promise, I was going to be here when you woke up and I don't go back on my word, not anymore."

Sasuke let out a deep breath writhing uncomfortably in his sweat covered clothes, his eyes finally adjusting to the small amount of light seeing the blood that was spread across Itachi's lips rolling down his chin.

"What the hell?" the young boy asked looking around seeing blood everywhere, on the sheets, the floor, stained underneath the door. "Is all of this yours? Itachi did you… what happened?"

A kiss was placed on Sasuke's lips. "Nothing happened," Itachi breathed.

"What time is it?" Sasuke asked moving to rest on Itachi's shoulder sitting up.

"Eleven," Itachi answered wrapping his arms around the young boy, feeling the warmth of Sasuke's body circulate through his. The gentle breaths lightly tickled at his neck as he pulled him closer, his pulse racing. "Why do you ask?"

Sasuke nuzzled up against the crook of his brother's neck, taking deep breaths of the aroma of his ebony ponytail. "I've been sleeping for an hour?" he asked wrapping his arms around tighter.

"Not exactly," Itachi answered his voice shaking, fearing how Sasuke was going to react to the news. "Sasuke, you've been asleep for two days. I didn't want to wake you up because you were so sick; you were practically dying right before my eyes. I couldn't do anything…"

"You let me sleep for two days?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah," Itachi answered still running a hand up and down the back of Sasuke's sweat soaked shirt. "It wasn't so much that you fell asleep as much as it was you passed out. After that I went ahead and I started doing my own thing."

Sasuke's dark eyes looked around the room. "Seeing how much blood you could lose before you die?"

"No," Itachi asked with a slight joy to his voice resembling laughter. "I mean I talked to Kakashi. He seemed upset that I wanted to take you away. He resorted to childish attacks such as insulting my childhood."

Itachi's silence was enough to prove that he was hiding something; he couldn't even hide it from himself. The way that Sasuke's hand fisted the cloth of his shirt made him know that he was aware of what he attacked.

"He brought up dad, didn't he?" Sasuke asked closing his eyes.

"Yeah," Itachi answered as he looked backed away from Sasuke, "He brought him up," he sighed. "I don't want to say anything I know how you felt about our father. I know that you loved him in a way that I never could, but he never paid attention to you."

Sasuke shook his head wiping the sweat and blood combination from his forehead. "No," he took a deep breath. "I didn't love him. How can you love someone who doesn't love you back?"

"If someone doesn't love you back," Itachi continued as he ran a hand through his hair. "Is it really their fault? Can you really blame them?"

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Itachi, what are you talking about?"

Another fake smile graced his lips. "Nothing," he looked at the corner of the room stained with his blood. "I got Kakashi to hand over full custody of your training; he's going to allow me to train you as long as I give you back. I can only give you back if you want to go back though; I'm not going to force you."

Sasuke lay back on the bed. "You took care of me."

"I did," Itachi answered looking down at his ring his eyes becoming blanker with every second that went by.

"You brought me back to full health," Sasuke sighed as he closed his eyes. "Thank you, Itachi," he moved up to kiss him on the cheek. "I would have been lost without you."

"Not lost, just still in bed," Itachi answered not looking at Sasuke feeling the young boy move his hand to turn his head capturing him in a deep kiss, pulling him by his collar to the bed so that Itachi was on top of him.

Sasuke's hands moved to push up against Itachi's shoulder bones pulling him deeper into the kiss still. Moans passed his lips as he parted Itachi's lips with his tongue feeling the strong hands take hold of his body, the mattress jabbing into his back almost painfully. Saliva rolled down their chins as Sasuke felt his body heat up against a large blush rolling across his cheeks.

All of the passion was stopped as Itachi backed away. "Sasuke…"

"What?" Sasuke asked. "What's wrong?"

Itachi closed his eyes. "Is this what you really want? Do you really want to be with me, or is this all just so you can put your fears to rest. No one ever asked if you were using me to try to get rid of all of your hatred. How do I know this isn't a game to you?"

Sasuke giggled lightly. "Didn't think you were the oversensitive type," he opened his eyes looking straight at his brother, his eyes weren't the same as they always were, this wasn't the usual question, this was real. "Itachi?"

"I'm not going to get mad," Itachi answered with a small fake smile looking down at his ring. "I've been used before."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed with anger. "Is that a guilt trip?"

"It wasn't supposed to be," Itachi answered. "I was just curious."

The young boy shook his head. "What do I have to do to prove that I love you? Do you want me to walk on air? Do want me to rip myself limb from limb? Do I have to light myself on fire while screaming your name? What do you want me to do?" Sasuke's voice was thick with confusion. "If I don't hate you, and I don't love you how do I feel about you?"

Itachi took him in a hug. "Sasuke, I just want you to look into my eyes and say that you aren't using me to get back at Kakashi or hurt me. You know how I'm in pain. You know how I feel about you; it's obvious by my still being here."

Sasuke looked into Itachi's eyes. "I love you; I would rather die than be without you for four more years. If you ever left me," he moved closer to his brother. "I don't know what's going on anymore. I hated you, I wanted you to die. Now, I feel as though all of those years, they were just to get you to love me."

Itachi kissed him on the forehead. "I loved you since you started clinging to me," he pushed the young boy to the mattress again kissing lightly at his neck, his teeth clinging onto the broken tissue from the past bites. Sasuke's moans filled the room, Itachi's hands pushing up the cloth of his shirt moving down to run his tongue across the sweat soaked flesh.

"Itachi," Sasuke breathed, closing his eyes running a hand through Itachi's hands. "What are you doing?"

"I was wrong," Itachi sighed resting up against Sasuke's stomach, the young boy's breath becoming tighter.

Sasuke's eyes lit up. "What were you wrong about?"

"I was out of line. Why the hell would you be using me," Itachi laughed stroking the flesh around Sasuke's navel, the boy giggling at the feeling. "I was the one who got you into this."

Sasuke let out another moan as he ran a hand through his brother's hair. "I have a mind of my own."

"I know you do," Itachi answered, backing away from Sasuke's body looking down at him. "But I'm in charge here. You have a week of rest before I take you out for your first training session. I make the rules and I choose what I teach you, and due to your failure in killing your best friend, all of my most powerful techniques will be of no use to your development," he moved his hand to stroke Sasuke's face. "However, I can help you become more in touch with the kekkei genkai, after twelve years of life you only unlocked two stages in both eyes."

"Not everyone is strong enough to handle the mangekyou," Sasuke breathed as he looked into his brother's eyes before turning his head gently kissing the palm of Itachi's hand. "Besides, it took me a while to even manifest it."

Itachi smiled as he watched Sasuke continue to kiss his palm. "Throughout this week, I want you to get some rest and try to regain your health. You've been sick for a while, I know that, and if you still are, then I'll go easy on you. However, we've got a lot of ground to cover; I know a lot of jutsus."

"But how many did you copy?" Sasuke asked with a wide smile turning away from the palm. "I know you didn't come up with them on your own."

"Everybody copies," Itachi continued as he pulled the blankets over Sasuke's body. "You don't need to get out of bed for a week if you don't want to, all you have to do is relax," he stroked the young boy's face. "Goodnight."

Itachi started to walk away hearing a voice behind him say sweetly: "Aren't you going to give me a kiss?"

Itachi turned to Sasuke with a sigh. "Aren't you a little old for goodnight kisses?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Just give me a fucking kiss," he pulled his brother down by his wrist taking his lips again one last time. "Goodnight, Itachi, I'll see you in the morning," he held onto his hand tightly pulling him back. He was a child again, begging Itachi to come back to him, not to leave anymore.

"In a week, you'll begin," Itachi turned around as he broke his hand free. "Who knows, if you cooperate you might like the reward. You only get rewards when you do well, that's your incentive," he walked toward the door still looking down at his ring. "I love you."

"Love you too," Sasuke breathed, snuggling into the sea of pillows and blankets falling into a state of slumber. He was so peaceful once again leaving Itachi alone in this world of pain that he had been in for so long.

"I know you do," Itachi whispered as he opened the door walking over his blood stain out into the better cold of the night, shivers running down his spine. One more week until training begins.

Author's Note: I know that Itachi is close to perfect, but I think that there has to be something that is trying to bring him down, I think that Mystical Palms in a good example of that antagonist. Also you probably are wondering who that man in the robe was who was making out with Itachi. In Chapter 18 you all will find out who it is. Also the flashback lines about Shisui will come into play soon enough. I would also like to extend a thank you to all of you who have stuck with this, and apologize ahead of time for all who don't (a lot of people have left this story.) This doesn't hurt my feelings, however. I like honesty.

So what did you think of this chapter? Good? Bad? Want to know who the man in the robe is? I want to know how you feel.

Next chapter Itachi and Sasuke start training.