A/N: Here's chapter five. Enjoy. R&R! Thanks. -Mac

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

Chapter Five

I Can't Blame Anyone

It was late. Harry and I were alone in the common room. Everyone else had gone to bed long ago. We had a huge potions essay due the next afternoon. I had finished mine hours ago, but I had offered to help Harry out. I was looking over his finished draft. The fortunate thing about Harry was that he actually did much of his work hiimself. He asked for help in fixing any large mistakes he may have made. Unlike Ron who expected me to do his work for him.

I finished the last sentence and handed the parchment back to Harry. "It's really good Harry. You'll do well on it."

"I think I'm actually getting a good grasp on this whole thing." Harry responded. "I guess I have you to thank for that."

I blushed slightly--though I don't know why. "No, it's really all you. Give yourself some credit Harry. You're very intelligent. You just have to make use of it."

That was all we had left to do for the night. I started to collect my things to head for bed, but Harry's hand on my shoulder stopped my movements. I left my things where they were and turned to look at Harry. I gave a questioning look in his direction.

"Could we just talk for a minute?" Harry asked.

"Sure Harry. Is something wrong?" I said, settling back into the couch.

"No," was his only reply.

There was silence for a moment before Harry shifted to completely face me. "Who did you do this for?"

That's a good question. Clever, Harry. But did I know the answer? I guess I did. It wasn't like I could blame anyone for a decision that I had made. Maybe it wasn't about dishing out blame, but still the reason was more about me than anything else.

"Me." I replied simply at first. Looking for Harry's reaction, I found surprise cross his features. I continued, "I did this for myself. I did this to feel better about myself. To feel good about myself. Confident. Strong. To not feel ashamed or insignificant. To feel proud and secure."

"Just you?" Harry tilted his head as he took it in.

"There were people, and their actions--that drove me to it." I admitted. "But I can't blame them. I didn't do it for them. I did it so I could look in the mirror everyday and not always find something wrong. I did it so I could just be me--without someone telling me I was wrong."

Harry paused and then asked his last question. "So it wasn't about Ron? It wasn't for him?"

"Ha. Definitely not." I shook my head vigorously, chuckling a little to myself.

"Are you sure? Because it wouldn't matter if you did." Harry assured. "You would have every right to try and get back at him."

"I know." I agreed. "But no I didn't do it for Ron. It was just an added benefit that it threw him. And sure it was a way of getting back at him--but I didn't originally do it for him. I did it for me."

"I think, maybe, that makes me feel better about this." Harry said. "Although, I don't think you needed to change at all. You were amazing just the way you were."

"Far from it." I shook my head. "You're wonderful for saying that, but it is the farthest thing from the truth."

"No...you were...you are..." Harry started, stumbling to get the right words out.

"I was Ron's girlfriend. Not Hermione. Not my own person. I was Ron's girlfriend. And Ron knew it and he used it. He tore down everything about me so that it was all that I had. So I wouldn't leave him--even though I should have long ago." I explained. I looked at Harry as he thought about what I had just said.

"It really shouldn't have had to end this way." Harry replied.

"No, it shouldn't have." I nodded.

"We both sort of lost a friend on this one." Harry said.

"Ron will come around." I commented, though I wasn't quite sure that was true.

Harry voiced my doubts, "Hopefully."

"He's a good person, he just needs to start acting like it."

"I guess you're right." Harry shrugged then added with a laugh, "As usual."

"Harry, please don't blame him. He made a horrible mistake and hurt me badly. But the relationship was over long before this happened. I needed something to push me over the edge and end it for real. I should have known what was going on with him. I'm usually so observant." I said, shrugging as well.

"It's not your fault either." Harry responded.

"I know." I nodded. "Sometimes things just happen and you can't blame anything for them."

"We should be getting to bed." Harry suggested after we had sat together quietly for a few minutes.

"You're right." I agreed. I started to gather up my things to go to my dormitory. "Night Harry."

"Night 'Mione." Harry reciprocated. "See you in the morning."

I smiled and climbed the stairs toward my room. I had one thought cross my mind that surprised me.

At least I have Harry.

A/N2: So, I haven't been getting emails for alerts and stuff, so I figure everyone else hasn't either...If you're on my alerts list for this story or me as an author (and you're not getting them)...and you'd like to get them personally from me in the meantime (cause I'm probably going to be getting a bunch done soon) just email me at the address that's on the site (you know the little highlighted word email). It should give you my personal email address and if you send me yours I'll personally send you an email update sort of thing...Anyway...Review!! You know I'd love you for it..Thanks again! -Mac