November 25, 2010

"Mommy, mommy I don't want to go to bed!"

Brennan clicked off the television with an air of finality that both of the twins got, and were quite disappointed by.

"Yeah Mommy Stewen Shelby said that he…that he gets to stay up tills 9 thiwrty and his parents don't even cawes!"

Brennan put her hands on her hips, looking down at her two pouting children. She couldn't help but notice how much they looked like Booth when they tried to get their way with her. He always used to pout at her when she refused him. She knew it wouldn't be long until they started flashing her charm smiles, and that she honestly couldn't deal with.

That was just too much Booth, and she couldn't. She wouldn't. She just refused to think about him. It was too hard; having their kids around was enough reminder of him.

"Really? Steven Shelby also obviously has a problem with lying."

Sam frowned, his small forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"Mommy, I don't know what that means."

Chloe giggled, poking her brother on the shoulder. "It means he doesn't tell the twuth Sammy! You're so stooopid."

"Chloe don't call your brother stupid."

"Why not mommy, he is sometimes."

Sam's huge blue eyes brimmed with tears, and Brennan reached down, picking him up, and smiling at him. Wiping away his tears.

"Big boys don't cry, right Sammy?"

He nodded, sniffing loudly and swallowing his tears.

"Right mommy."

She bent down, so she and Sam were on Chloe's level. "You can't call your brother stupid, because it hurts his feelings."

Chloe looked down guiltily, dragging her pink-socked feet along the yellow carpet of the twin's room. She mumbled something almost inaudible more to her feet then to her brother.

"Sowy Sammy."

Brennan almost laughed at her daughter's inability to say sorry, but she restrained herself. That wouldn't exactly be setting a good example, but Chloe reminded her so much of herself. Brennan could never say sorry, especially for something that was her fault.

"Thas ok."

Sam scrambled out of his mother's arms, and jumped at his sister, wrapping his small arms around Chloe. Chloe grinned widely, and hugged her brother. It was hard to tell them apart, the only significant difference was Chloe's long hair. Brennan made a mental note to cut it, because it was half way down the little girl's back.

Brennan smiled as they hugged. She had been so scared when she got pregnant, that she wouldn't be able to do it. That she wouldn't be able to have a baby, let alone two. That she wouldn't know how to be a mother, without Booth. But as soon as she looked into their round faces when they were born, she had been reassured, that possibly, it might just be ok.

"Ok, come on you two, time for bed."

They both groaned, but climbed with some difficulty into their beds anyways. They hadn't wanted to sleep in separate rooms, in fact they had whined and cried the day Brennan suggested that they stop sleeping with her, and sleep in their own rooms, but they had gotten used to it.

It was logical that Chloe and Sam would want different colors in their rooms, so when she had asked what color they wanted to paint the walls, she wasn't at all surprised when she had heard unanimous shouts from both of them of blue and pink.

She was too confused to think of what color they would both like, so one day they had pulled all of the old furniture that Brennan had used as a guest room out, lined the floor with newspapers, and painted the room in two different shades.

Sam and Chloe had had a blast taking their paint rollers and splattering the walls. When that got boring, they spattered each other, and then when they both were covered completely in bright pink and navy blue paint, they had decided it would be a brilliant idea to bombard their mom with their paint rollers.

Brennan smiled at the memory, as Sam and Chloe pulled their sheets up to their chins. Chloe's side of the room was filled with Barbie's, fairies, and large decals of flowers all over her pink wall. While Sam had a plethora of Tonka trucks, bug jars, and little soldier uniforms that reminded her of Booth.

"But mommy, what about Stewen Shelby?"

Brennan sat on Chloe's bed, smoothing out the little girl's hair that was fanned out messily on her white and purple polka dot pillow.

"Steven Shelby can go to bed whatever time he likes, but you two have to go to bed when I tell you."

They both groaned, but Brennan could see that their eyes were already being forced closed. 7 o'clock was very late when you were 2 almost 3 years old.

Sam yawned loudly. "Mommy, can you tell us a storwy."

"Yea! A storwy! Tell us one about daddy."

"When's Daddy coming home mommy?"

Brennan shut her eyes, running her arms up and down her arms. Thinking about Booth gave her the chills, and lately they had been asking about him over and over and over again. They asked her why they didn't have a daddy like all the other kids in preschool, and she told them that he was away. It was the truth, but she wasn't going to tell them that he had no idea of their existence. It would break their hearts.

Instead she told them stories about Booth. They would listen intently, until their huge eyes closed, and then Brennan would lie awake for hours, thinking about all that had happened. About Booth. She already knew that they would beg until she told them a story, so she racked her brain for one she hadn't told them yet.

"Do you wanna hear about the time mommy got put under the spell of a voodoo sorcerer?"

They squirmed excitedly, smiles dancing across their faces. They looked like Booth when they smiled.

"Yeah! Yeah! What's woodo?"

"It's a religion."

"Do they sticks needles in pweople?"

Brennan bit her lip thinking about it. She was pretty sure it was just a common stereotype, but she knew explaining it to them would just go right over their little heads.

"Maybe."

Sam looked disappointed, but he sat eagerly waiting for her to continue.

"What did daddy do?"

"I'll tell you, you just have to promise to lie down and try to go to sleep. Promise?"

They nodded enthusiastically, pulling the covers up. Brennan made sure that they had extra blankets. It was already snowing in DC only a month from Christmas, and temperatures in her apartment were dropping.

"Ok, so a few years ago I was down in New Orleans. That's in Louisiana, helping identify victims of hurricane Katrina."

Brennan checked to see if they were still listening, and they were intently.

"So I was in New Orleans, and all of a sudden I woke up and I didn't remember anything."

"Nofing?"

Brennan shook her head. "Nothing, I had broken my wrist. And banged up my head, and I didn't remember it at all."

"Was Daddy with you?"

Brennan remembered Booth rushing down from DC to rescue her. They hadn't even been close to being a couple, but she had still been incredibly happy to see his face burst into the emergency room.

"No, but then he came down."

"And saved you?"

She smiled. "Sort of. The police thought that I had killed another man---,"

"You killed someone Mommy?"

"No, no of course I didn't. You dad came down, and he helped prove that I was innocent."

Brennan noticed that their eyes were closing faster. "Thas good."

"Yeah, and we still don't know why I don't remember. Your dad thought that it was voodoo, but I still don't believe that, I…"

Brennan trailed off when she heard the soft snoring of the little boy on the bed next to her. Sam always snored, and Booth had always stored. She didn't know if that was really a gene that could be passed down, but she guessed it was possible.

Chloe was asleep on her side, her dark hair lying across her face. Brennan brushed it off of her face, kissing the little girl's forehead softly.

"Goodnight Chlo,"

She leaned down tucking the sheets around Sam carefully, and kissed him on the nose.

"Sleep well Sammy."

She looked at her 2 sleeping children. Her children. Whenever she looked at them, really looked at them. She was amazed at the concept, that she had kids. It didn't seem possible. Before she closed the door she stood in the doorway, sighing, trying to blink back the tears that memories of Booth always seemed to conjure. She hated it.

"I'm sorry that I let him go. I'm so sorry."

March 2011

Brennan squinted her eyes. She didn't open them, it was too bright. She heard voices above her, and she tried to strain to hear them.

"Is she waking up?"

"Usually it can take and approximate time of 2 minutes to 2 hours for someone who has blacked out to regain consciousness."

"Zach do you think that's really helping?"

"Sorry."

"Bren, sweetie. Can you hear me?"

"What happened babe?"

"I told her about Booth, and she passed out."

"Seriously?"

"I didn't think she would take it so hard."

"I guess she did."

Brennan opened her eyes; the pounding in her head was making her feel dizzy. She saw Angela's concerned face first. Then Zach and Hodgins looking quite confused next to her.

"Thank god sweetie! You're awake."

Brennan sat up, trying to ignore the lightheadedness that was preventing her from standing.

How did I get on my couch, what happened?

"Ange, what happened?"

"You blacked out Bren."

Brennan rubbed her forehead, and then it all came back. Booth. It wasn't possible; that he could be coming back. That wasn't supposed to happen. She almost wanted to pass out again, just thinking about it.

"Booth."

"I shouldn't have told you. I just thought you would want to know."

Brennan's eyes flicked over to Hodgins and Zach who were listening intently. Angela turned to them, sighing exasperatedly.

"Guys, can you give us a second?"

Hodgins nodded, shoving Zach out the door. "Sure, feel better Dr. Brennan."

Brennan nodded, smiling weakly and turning her attention back on her friend who seemed to have so much information at this point.

"So it's true?"

"He's on a flight today sweetie."

"Why? Why is he coming back?"

Angela rubbed Brennan's shoulder softly. She knew this wasn't easy for her friend. Booth had just left. One day he was there, they next he was gone. And Brennan had been the closest to him. If only she knew how close.

"I don't know sweetie. I haven't talked to him."

"Then how do you know he's coming back."

"I ran into Cullen, he was stopping by to pick up some paper work and he told me. He seemed pretty happy about it. That you and Booth can work together again, like it used to be."

Brennan shook her head, looking down at her shoes. The black high heel of the platforms she was wearing was looking quite interesting.

"No. No I can't work with him. Ever again."

I should have told Angela that Booth is their father. But I couldn't. She would have tried to get me to move to New York. I couldn't do that.

"Sweetie, I know that you and Booth were close, but you're probably going to have to work with him again. He didn't mean to leave you."

"No. No I can't. I won't."

"Bren---,"

"You don't get it! Chloe and Sam are…He's their…"

Angela covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes widening. She wasn't sure if her friend had said that right. Brennan had never told her who their father was, but she had assumed it was another fling that she had had…Not Booth.

"Brennan! Booth is their father!?"

"Shh…Angela be quiet."

"And I assume he has no idea that he has two 3 year old twins that he's going to be coming back to?"

Brennan couldn't look at her friend. Angela's tone was so disappointed that she felt like running away and never looking back. She knew it had been the right choice not to tell her in the first place.

She shook her head, and looked up at Angela, her blue eyes glassy.

"Ange, you have to understand. We had a fight. We said things, and then I found out I was pregnant, and he was gone Ange. He just left. I went to his apartment…"

Tears rolled down Brennan's cheeks, and she quickly brushed them away. She hadn't told this to any one before. She had just pretended it didn't happen.

"And he was gone. Everything. All he left was a letter. I tried calling, I did. It's not like I…intentionally hid it from him. I would never do that."

Angela leaned over, hugging her friend tightly. "Bren, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"I didn't tell you. I didn't tell him. And I can't see him Ange. He's a different part of my life."

"Bren…don't you want to be rational."

"No! Not now. Sam and Chloe…"

"Want their father Bren."

Brennan was about to reply, when loud footsteps trampled into Brennan's office, followed by squeals, and two little bodies launching themselves onto Brennan.

"Mommy!! Mommy, scwool gots canceled cause of the rain!"

Sam and Chloe climbed on the couch, sitting themselves directly between Angela and Brennan.

"It did?"

"Yes, fwash fwooding."

Chloe said matter factly. Brennan was confused about how they got here if school was canceled. She checked her watch 1:30. She had been unconscious for and hour? They didn't get out of preschool until 3, so who had picked them up?

"How did you get here?"

"Heather picked us up, the teasher cause she saids that you probably were working."

"Where's Heather now?"

They both shrugged, and turned their attention on Angela, greeting her unison.

"Hi Aunty Angela!"

"Hi Chloe, Sammy. Are you excited to not have school?"

Angela grinned at the twins. They looked so much like Brennan, and now that she knew, they were the spitting image of their father as well.

"Yes! Now we get to be wif mommy and the squins!"

Angela laughed at the 3 year old's logic. And Brennan couldn't help but smile. Sam was staring at her, concern evident on his face. While Chloe chatted with Angela, Sam climbed onto his mom's lap, smiling up at her.

"Mommy, are you ok?"

"Yes of course I am."

"You seem sad."

She ruffled his hair, smiling. "I'm fine don't worry about me, ok?"

He smiled, his huge blue eyes sparkling like Booth's always did. "Ok."

Brennan sighed, running a hand through her hair. Why did she have to have a son who was so much like his father? She couldn't see Booth. It was way too hard. He had hurt her more than anyone, and there was too much to repair. Too much that she could loose again, so this time, she would make sure that he couldn't get to her, no matter how hard he tried.

Booth sat down tiredly at the counter of the diner. He couldn't believe he was back in DC. At the diner, where he and Bones sat for hours, pouring over cases with only cherry pie as company.

He had kissed her hundreds of time in their favorite booth by the window. Every part of the diner was nostalgic. It was representative of everything he had lost. He looked over at Parker who was sipping a hot chocolate, and reminded himself that he had gained a stronger relationship with his son. And lost his girlfriend and partner.

He knew it would only be a matter of time before he saw her again. Probably tomorrow, he didn't know how that would go, but he could almost predict it. She wasn't going to forgive him; in fact she would probably be cold and bitter. She would do what she always did. Shut people out when she thought they were getting too close.

"How's your hot chocolate buddy?"

Parker looked over at his father, smiling. He had fallen asleep on the short plane ride, when Booth hadn't been able to relax. His mind drifting to thoughts of Brennan.

"Really good Daddy, how's your pie?"

Booth grinned at his son. "As good as it always was."

Like nothing had changed. If only that would stay true to a certain forensic anthropologist. Booth looked out the window of the diner. It was raining harder then he had ever seen it rain in DC. There was hardly anyone on the streets at it was 7:30 pm on a Friday. It seemed to reflect his current mood.

"Daddy, where are we staying tonight?"

"I booked us reservations at a hotel Parker, and then we'll move everything back into the apartment."

"You're old apartment?"

"Yup."

"So I can have my old room?"

"Definitely buddy."

Parker's face brightened at this.

"Yay!"

Booth smiled, taking another bite of his pie. "Exactly, yay."

They ate in comfortable silence, Parker chomping down on his French fries, listening to the rain pound down on the diner. The bells in the front of the diner jiggled, signaling someone had entered.

Booth turned to look at the women who had just entered. His stomach dropped immediately, he couldn't see her face, but he was almost positive that it was her. She carried herself the same way she always had, with confidence.

She leaned over the counter, resting her elbows near the cash register. He noticed that her hair was longer. Instead of falling down her shoulders, waves of auburn hair cascaded down to her shoulder blades. It looked nice long, free.

He could over hear her talking with the manager behind the counter, and as soon as he heard her husky voice, he knew it was her. He could recognize that voice anywhere.

"Hi, I'm picking up and order for Brennan."

The manager looked at the recipe he was holding, and smiled at her.

"That would be a Caesar salad, 3 chocolate milkshakes, and 2 orders of chicken dinosaurs." He looked again, "Oh, and one slice of cherry pie."

Booth looked down at his pie. She still ordered it after all this time. Maybe things hadn't changed.

"Yeah that's right."

"Your order will be right out miss."

She smiled, turning and leaning against the counter. She didn't want to leave Chloe and Sam for to long in the car, but as long as she could see them, she figured they were ok. She was parked outside less then 10 feet away. They were pretty tired anyways, after and afternoon of playing with Zach and Hodgins and then with Angela on the Angelator, they looked about ready to pass out.

Looking around the diner, she caught sight of a man and a little boy sitting at the counter. That was funny, the boy looked like Parker, but older. Same blonde curls and big brown eyes. He was taller. The man…

Oh my god, that's Booth. What am I going to do? I need to go. I can't do this, and Chloe and Sam are right there.

She could notice his broad shoulders and strong physique anywhere. She wanted to run, to push the doors of the diner open and just run away into the rain, until he left again, but her feet felt glued to the spot.

Maybe its not him, maybe I'm hallucinating.

Brennan shut her eyes, and when she opened them, she found herself looking directly into the eyes of Seeley Booth, the man she thought she had seen the last of. It was all she could do, not to faint again.