Holy Tears - by MadMidgetTwins

We've been reading some amazing fictions on here for a while so we'd thought we'd attept at one. Our first fiction, so comments are loved!!

Chapter 2

Rating: K +

Summary: With only 2 months left of Dean's time, Sam is getting desperate to find a way of getting Dean out of it, in the meantime sending as many demons back to hell as they can. But something is happenning to Sam neither of them can explain.

Disclaimer: We do not own supernatural or the characters Sam and Dean...unfortunately...or Bobby at that matter

Dean couldn't sleep. He just sat next to Sam's bed, watching him. It was the only time he ever really looked at peace, while he was asleep. But then Dean realized that that too was a lie. Even in the confines of his unconscious mind, he was still trapped in a world where the evil side was winning.

The truth was Dean didn't understand what was going through his little brother's mind...maybe he never really had. Sam wasn't a drinker, he'd only been like this once, and the occasion had been almost a replicate of the nights events. But last time Sam had just learned the truth about his destiny. What was his reason this time? Well the answer seemed obvious. Dean's time was coming to an end. Sam had spent hours trying to find an answer and had so far found nothing. He was running out of time. Perhaps that was why….he was afraid. It was only now that Dean realized…so was he. When Dean had made the deal all he was thinking about was having his little brother back by his side….he hadn't thought about what would happen after Dean left him alone. Sam was obviously thinking about it too. 'Who will look after me when you are gone?' When Dean died there would be no one there for Sam. No one to laugh with him. To cry with him. To make fun of him. To hunt with him. To help him. To die for him…..to save him.

There would be no one.

Sam moaned as he turned in his sleep.

"Don't worry Sammy," said Dean. "I'm not going anywhere…not yet. Not ever."

He didn't want to die. Not now that he knew Sam couldn't be saved if he was gone. He'd never really thought about dying before, and he didn't think he would be scared. He never wanted to admit it, but the truth was he only ever really felt safe when he was with Sam. Every hero needs a sidekick, and every hero needs a saviour. Sam needed protecting, and no one could be a better protector than he was. No….he wasn't going anywhere.

This was one promise that he was going to keep.

-------

Dean sat at the small round table in the motel room, staring at the blank laptop screen. Sam hadn't woken yet, but he would soon. Then they would have a talk.

But there were things Dean didn't know. Things that Sam wasn't prepared to share. Sam only wanted Dean to be happy for the short time he had left, he didn't want to trouble him, though part of him wanted to give him a reason to stay.

Dean thought that the exorcism yesterday was just a one time thing. But it wasn't. Dean didn't know that ever since he'd made that deal a part of Sam had remained dead. Every exorcism since then Sam had felt something; it just hadn't been strong enough for him to truly notice. But yesterday he did, and he knew it meant something.

Sam turned on the bed nearby, and Dean saw his eyes slowly open. Sam ran his hand through his hair and then sat up slowly.

"Morning Sammy," said Dean. Sam turned to him. His face was pale and he had dark outlines around his eyes. He cleared his throat.

"Morning," he said quietly. He stood up slowly then walked to the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water. "Man I have the worst headache. You got any aspirin?" Did he even remember anything? Or did he just think it was another night out?

"Uh yea Sam," said Dean. He paused. "You had a bit to drink last night. You remember?" Sam was silent for a moment, then he sat on the bed.

"Yea…I know," said Sam.

"Why?" asked Dean, before he even thought about what he was saying. "Why are you doing this to yourself Sammy?" Sam remained quiet again. "You gonna say something? You gonna explain to me why you keep doing this?" Still Sam remained silent. "Damn it Sam talk to me!"

"Because I'm afraid Dean!" yelled Sam. His voice seemed to echo throughout the room. "And I know that I can't do anything about it." Dean didn't know what to say.

"Stop blaming yourself," said Dean. "That's what you can do. Stop taking all the responsibility. I made that deal. Its my fault that I'm gonna die. Not yours."

"That's not true and you know it Dean," said Sam. "If it wasn't for me, you would have never made that deal in the first place. I made you make that deal, so I should be able to get you out of it."

"Sam just stop!" said Dean quickly. "Just stop. Ok? I'm gonna die, and you can't stop it."

"No you're not," said Sam. "I'm going to stop it. I have before. If you die then – "

"What?" said Dean cutting Sam off. "You'll turn into the leader of the demon army? That's what you think will happen but it won't."

"How do you know that?" said Sam. "I mean, we both know that I'm already starting to change."

"No you're not Sam," said Dean. "We're in the middle of a war. We've all changed."

"No you don't understand," said Sam. He stared at the floor. Sam had been thinking about the exorcism. He'd been thinking about it last night too. Something was wrong. He didn't know what it meant that the exorcism affected him in such a way, or why, but he wasn't about to tell Dean about it just yet.

"What do you mean?" asked Dean.

"Nothing," said Sam quickly. "Lets just….get back to fighting."

"No, I can't ignore this Sam," said Dean. "not this time. If there is something you're not telling me…well I think you should. You said it yourself once. Sam, you're my brother. Whatever weight you're carrying, let me help a little."

"That was different," said Sam.

"Was it?" said Dean. "Please Sam…just let me do my job." Sam was silent. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to hurt his brother. He didn't want Dean to realize that maybe he was changing, and that maybe he would become a monster, and couldn't be saved. He didn't want to tell Dean he had failed.

But what Sam didn't realize was that Dean was right. Dean could help. In fact he was the only one who could. Sam just didn't realize, because he'd already began to give up. There was no time left for hope...or dreams. Just failure.

"I can't," said Sam.

"Why not?" asked Dean. "Come on. I'm as much a part of this as you. Why can't you tell me?"

"Because I don't even know what it means yet," said Sam. "I don't want to trouble you with something if it might not mean anything. Especially when you only have such little time left. I want to enjoy it. I want you to remember me as I am now…as your brother." Dean walked over to Sam and looked him in the eye.

"Sam listen to me," said Dean. "I'm not leaving you. As long as you keep thinking like this then it will happen. You just need to have hope, remember Sam? Hope is the whole point." Sam nodded and Dean saw a single tear roll down the side of his face. "Now if you don't want to tell me what's going on then fine. But I'm not dropping this."

Dean's mobile rang loudly. Why did it always have to ring at the worst times?

"Yea," said Dean into the phone. Bobby's voice came from the other line.

"I have another demon."

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Neither Sam nor Dean said anything on the drive over to Bobby's. It wasn't because they didn't know what to say, but because saying what they thought seemed to make the truth so much worse. Sam stared out the window, watching as the empty landscape glided past them. Maybe he should tell Dean the truth? But what would he say? That when they exorcized the last demon Sam felt like he was the one sitting in the chair? Nothing seemed to make much sense. No. There was no point saying anything. Not until it was more clear. Besides, they were on their way to do another exorcism, if it happened again, then maybe he would tell him. Maybe.

When they arrived at Bobby's Dean threw a sideward glance at Sam before he got out the car. Bobby walked over to them.

"I've got it tied up like the rest," said Bobby. "They seem to be getting careless. Two in two days."

"Yea," said Dean. "Stupid demons." Bobby turned to Sam.

"You look like crap Sam," he said. Sam tried to laugh.

"Thanks," he said.

"So lets get this thing done then," said Dean quickly, in order to make the conversation not go on any further. He didn't want Bobby getting involved too. The three men walked inside, and went straight into the 'exorcism room', as they had now called it.

"Why howdy Dean," said the demon. It seemed relaxed, and didn't even look like it was going to try and fight off the exorcism. Like it had got itself caught on purpose. Then it looked at Sam and smiled. "Sammy."

"You demons getting dumber every day," said Dean. "Sent one of you back to hell just yesterday." The demon laughed mockingly.

"Oh yes," said the demon, still staring at Sam. "We are much smarter than you think."

"And how is that?" said Sam, cutting into the conversation. Dean stared at him. Normally Sam just stood aside while Dean did his speech.

"I think you know," said the demon. Then it turned to Dean. "But does he?" Sam didn't say anything. He didn't look at Dean or the demon. He could see Bobby looking at the both of them with a confused expression.

"Enough of the talk," said Dean. "Lets get this started shall we?" He looked at Sam, who then began the ritual. The demon was just laughing. Dean could hear the small hint of pain behind the laugh but it was covering it well.

"You have no idea do you Dean?" it gasped. "Your brother has been playing you for a fool!" Sam's voice rose, in an attempt to drown out the demons cries. "You can't hide the real you forever Sam! You can't escape the inevitable!" Why did the demons always do this? Every exorcism they said the same things. You can't escape your destiny. You are meant to be our leader; it's who you really are. Every time. Every time they tried to persuade Sam that he was the leader of the army, and that he had to fulfill his role. Why?

Then the pain started again. But worse. Much worse. Why was this happening again? He tried to continue the exorcism but couldn't. The demon looked at him and smiled coldly.

"You feel it don't you," said the demon. "Feel the – " Dean threw half a bucket of holy water at the demon, stopping its taunts.

Sam felt a burning on his arm and saw that some of the water had got him. Why was it burning? Holy water only hurt demons? Was he turning into one of them? He tried to hide it so that Dean, Bobby or the demon wouldn't see.

"Sam finish this," said Dean. Sam opened the book again and continued the exorcism. The pain was still there but he had to ignore it. The demon gave one last laugh before the black smoke erupted into the air and was gone. Sam shut the book and walked outside. It hurt. It hurt so bad. He vomited behind a nearby bush. He didn't understand what was going on. First the exorcisms, and now the holy water. Maybe it was just that drop. It wouldn't happen again.

Dean ran outside. "Sam are you – " he stopped when he saw Sam hunched over. Maybe he thought it was still the alcohol. Thank God. He wouldn't suspect anything. Dean just sighed and then Sam walked over to him.

"I'm fine," said Sam, though he felt far from it. His hands were shaking, he was covered in a cold sweat, his head felt like it would explode and his arm was hurting. Once again he was forced to lie to his brother.

"Yea I can see that," said Dean, grabbing Sam's arm and leading him back inside. "Bobby, get Sam a glass of water." Sam and Dean sat down and Bobby soon appeared with two beers and a glass of water.

"Thanks," said Sam, taking a gulp, forgetting Bobby's water tank was holy. He felt his throat burn as it went down. He coughed and steam came from his mouth. He choked and put the glass down. Dean grabbed hold of him and slammed him against the wall.

"I knew it!" yelled Dean. "How long have you been possessing Sam?"

mwahahahahaha...ahem...well anyway, next chapter up soon hopefully

Comments greatly appreciated!