Disclaimer: I do not own any aspect of Neon Genesis: Evangelion. That belongs to GAINAX and Mr. Anno.
(August 19th, 2015, Katsuragi Residence: 5:34)
"AAAAAAAA!"
Shinji opened his eyes to find his eyes filled with a rather unpleasant vocal performance by an upset baby. He caught the time out of the corner of his eye and groaned. Normally on Sundays, he'd be slumbering at this hour. With sigh, Shinji slipped out of his bed and clumsily made his way across the room and out the door.
Instantly, he was met by the sight of a cowering warm water penguin. Pen Pen seemed to be trying to escape the noise coming from the living room. Ignoring the creature, Shinji made his way into the living room where he found a passed out Misato with her arm around a baby screaming it's head off. Kiku's cries seemed to penetrate Shinji's ear and bounce around in his head, scrambling his brains to no end.
'How does Misato not hear that?' Shinji thought to himself as he cringed and covered his ear noticing the beer cans that covered the floor around her, 'Oh, right.'
As Shinji contemplated his situation, his thoughts were rudely interrupted by the sound of a door being kicked open.
"THIRD CHILD!!!!!" roared an angry Asuka.
'O great,' thought Shinji, "now I have to deal with two screaming people.'
A tired and homicidal looking redhead entered the scene, apparently angry for having been awaken at such an hour.
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" She screamed, her saliva flying across the room and hitting Shinji in the face, "WHY THE HELL DID YOU WAKE UP THE BABY!?"
Wiping the spit off his face, Shinji tried to make his voice heard over Kiku's wailing.
"I didn't wake her up!" He said, not quite sure if Asuka could hear him.
"LIAR!!" She shouted, pointing her finger him and showering him in another layer of spit, "You tried to do something perverted didn't you!"
"What?!" Shinji exclaimed, anger now beginning to come into his mind, "Are you crazy?! It's a baby!"
"I know it's a baby you pervert!" Snapped Asuka, "That's what's so disgusting!!!"
"That's not right!!!" Shouted Shinji, furious at being accused of such a thing, "I just came here because her crying woke me up!!"
Misato awoke from her drunken stupor and opened one eyes. Unfortunately, both her ears were now fully functional and alerted her that she was surrounded by three screaming children. Misato screwed her eyes shut and jammed her fingers into her eyes to try to neutralize the verbal onslaught. Finally, she decided to handle the situation.
"EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!!!!!!"
Shinji and Asuka stopped yelling and Kiku pretended to go back to sleep. Satisfied with the results of her demand, Misato drew Kiku closer to her body and went back to sleep. The look on the baby's face was of sheer terror.
"I'm going back to bed." Asuka said quietly after giving Misato a disgusted look.
"Okay," said Shinji, "I think I'm going to get started on setting up Kiku's crib."
Asuka nodded her approval and slunk back into her room, closing the door after her. Shinji walked over to the box lying in the middle of the floor. Using his fingernails to pull off the tape sealing the box shut, he opened the flaps to reveal three smaller boxes.
'How the hell am I supposed to know which on has the cradle,' he though to himself, 'these boxes are unlabeled.'
Hesitating for a moment, Shinji shrugged and grabbed the nearest box, opening it and pulling out the directions. He flipped through it, looking at a serious of complicated instructions and several pictures to illustrate the assembling process.
Shinji sighed and got to work.
(August 19th, 2007, Tokyo-3 Apartment: 6:20)
A group of men were sitting on various pieces of furniture in the room. The apartment unit was shabby and had a strange lighting fixture that cast odd shadows around the place. One of the men sat facing a laptop on the kitchen table.
He had a maniacal smile plastered on his face as looked through an online directory of handicapped people in Tokyo-3. He was thoroughly enjoying himself, laughing at the misfortune of disabled children.
"Hey, Tanako, maybe we should just put some fliers or something." Whined a man sitting on the couch drinking a soda.
"Shut up Hitaku." Said Tanako, looking up from his laptop, smile now gone, "Think about it, whoever has the baby now is probably gonna kill the kid to hide his tracks anyways."
"Oh," Hitaku said, taken aback by the logic, "then why are you looking at a directory of mentally handicapped children?"
"Well," Tanako began, his crazed grin back on his face, "now if the boss sends someone to check up on us, we'll have this on our browser's history. Plus, it's fun."
Hitaku sighed and finished his soda. The other person in the room shook his head. Tanako caught this and decided to start an argument for no reason other than to rattle the man's head.
"You have a problem with this Kiyashi?" Tanako demanded in an aggressive tone.
"Well…" Kiyashi mumbled, "It's just, we could be using this time to do something more productive."
"Like what?" Tanako asked in the same voice, but now with genuine interest.
"Umm…" Kiyashi started, "we could go to the orphanage and find the baby."
"You idiot!" Yelled Tanako, getting frustrated, "That's the worst idea I've ever heard! If someone went through all the trouble of hiding a baby from us, why the hell would they put it up for adoption!?"
Kiyashi bowed his head and looked at the ground, choosing not to respond. Tanako got up from his seat and rushed across the apartment. Grabbing the empty soda can from Hitaku's grasp, he threw it at Kiyashi, hitting him on the top of the head.
"Ow!"
"You moron! Just when I thought you might have a brain, you prove to me that you're still a complete idiot!"
Sounds of objects being thrown could be heard throughout the apartment complex.
(August 19th, 2015, Katsuragi Residence: 10:15)
"Misato, don't you think we should go to child services and see if we can get Kiku back to her parents?"
Misato turned from the TV to look at Shinji. Misato frowned at the worried look on his face.
"Well, I would," she began, "but after you told me how you got her, I don't think it'd be wise to let anyone know we have a baby living in our apartment."
"But someone's going to find out eventually." Shinji replied, "It's not like we can leave her alone inside the apartment."
Misato simply turned back to the TV and thought about this. It's true that eventually, the baby would have to leave the house. Not to mention, Nerv will found out anyways after the Section-2 agents begin doing their damn jobs and follow Shinji and Asuka. Misato smiled as an idea popped into her head.
"I have an idea." Misato said slyly, "We'll just say it's your niece."
"What?!" Shinji shouted, "Misato, I can't do that!"
"Fine," Misato said with an air of indifference, "we'll say it's my niece."
Shinji sighed and went into the kitchen to make some breakfast.
'Hmm…' thought Misato with a grin, 'Kiku Katsuragi… I like the sound of that.'
"Ki-ku Kat-su-ra-gi…" Misato said to herself, emphasizing each syllable and enjoying the effect.
Misato could hear the faint noise of running water from the bathroom, announcing that a certain German girl had risen from her slumber. Misato continued to watch an American game show on TV. She couldn't understand anything that was going on, but enjoyed watching a man wrestle an octopus. The TV had turned to commercials as Asuka strode into the living room. Greeting her roommates as she took a seat on the couch.
"Hey Misato." Asuka said, shifting her gaze over to the baby and the woman's lap, "Morning Kiku."
"Wark!" Pen Pen expressed his displeasure at having been ignored.
"Morning Asuka." Misato said absently, "You sleep well last night?"
"Well I did until that baka woke me up." Asuka said with a hint of irritation in her voice, "You know, Kiku has a really loud voice for her size."
"Bah?" Kiku seemed to respond to the accusation.
"You heard me." Asuka retorted.
"Asuka," Misato began, "after hearing how Shinji got a hold of Kiku, I've decided it's best if we don't say anything to child services. From now on, we all know Kiku as my beloved niece, Kiku Katsuragi."
"Ok," Asuka replied without questioning.
Misato seemed a bit surprised by her response. She had expected that Asuka would argue with her. However, the truth of that matter was that Asuka was beginning to like Kiku. The idea of taking care of a baby sounded good to her. She reasoned that it would make her somewhat more important.
"Did the baka set up the crib?" Asuka asked, not taking her eyes off the TV screen.
"Yea, I told him to put it in my room." Misato responded as she watched a commercial advertising a popular brand of melon flavored ice cream.
'Wow," they both thought, 'that ice cream looks good.'
"Breakfast is ready!" Shinji yelled from the kitchen
Sighing, Misato picked up the remote and turned off the TV. She cradled Kiku up to her chest and left towards the kitchen.
"Hmm..." Asuka mused for a second before she got up, "Kiku Katsuragi… I like that name."
A moment later, Asuka found herself sitting at the kitchen table across from Misato. She looked down at the plate and beheld some sausages and eggs. Misato began shoveling the food into her mouth but Asuka stared at the food for a bit. She looked over at Shinji who appeared to be still cooking.
"Baka, you eating?" Asuka said to the back of Shinji's head.
"Huh?" Shinji said, turning from the bottle of baby formula in his hand, "Yea, I'll be there in a second. I'm just warming up some milk for Kiku."
Satisfied with his answer, Asuka turned back to her food and began cutting up the sausages.
'Weird,' thought Misato, 'Asuka almost never cares whether or not Shinji eats. She must be up to something.'
Soon, Shinji joined the table, handing Misato a bottle. Misato took it and held it up the Kiku's face with her left hand as her right hand continued to shovel food into her mouth. Immediately, Asuka turned to Shinji.
"Hey baka, you know we have school tomorrow?" Asuka asked.
"Yea." Shinji replied, confused at being asked such an obvious question, "Why?"
"Nothing really," Asuka began slowly, turning her face towards Misato, "just wondering who's gonna be taking care of Kiku."
"Well I can't." Misato stated simply, "Ritsuko would tear my head off. Not to mention, Nerv headquarters is a restricted area. There's no way I can bring Kiku to work."
"Well we can't exactly go to our classes carrying around a baby." Shinji said, wondering how they'd get around this problem.
"Don't worry about it," Misato said after taking a second to assess the situation, "I'll write a note to your teachers."
Considering the problem solved, Misato went back to stuffing her face with eggs and sausages. Asuka looked at her and frowned.
"But which one of us is gonna be carrying her around?" Asuka asked.
"Well," Misato said, "I suppose you don't want to and since Shinji's the one who got Kiku in the first place, he should be the one carrying her around. Is that alright with you Shinji?"
"That's fine." Shinji answered.
Misato glanced at Asuka and watched as her face fell.
'If I didn't know any better, I'd say Asuka actually wants to take care of Kiku.' Misato thought to herself. Misato's suspicions were confirmed by Asuka's next words.
"You know Misato… I don't mind taking care of Kiku…"
Shinji suddenly choked on his food. He immediately stopped eating and looked at the uncharacteristically bashful redhead. He was about to say something when Misato cut him off.
"Ok," She said, "then I guess you two can split the days."
Asuka's face brightened and she went back to eating. Misato smiled to herself and looked at Kiku.
'So…' She thought, studying the baby's face, 'it's working. The she's starting to pull us together.'
(August 19th, 2015, Unknown Location: 12:00)
A man with gray hair sat in a dark room. He was alone but seemed to be looking up as if addressing another man. His futuristic visor emitted a fait red glow.
'It's going to happen very soon.' He thought to himself, 'As soon as it gets here, my scenario will be all but complete.'
The man had been waiting patiently for a delivery. He had been informed that his package was missing but was confidant they'd find it in no time. There was a very accomplished man leading the search.
The gray haired man's mind wandered into the past, pausing to examining the events that that had lead to his point.
He had spent years searching for a purpose. For a time, it seemed he had won and the game was over. He had everything mortal men could want in life. Ruthlessly and without hesitation, he had made it to the pinnacle of success. He had earned political position through a series of threats, challenges, and victories. Step by step, he climbed the ranks and became the most powerful man in the United Nations, shielded from the public but infamous among the elite.
No other man in the world possessed as much power as he did. Yet, after his accomplishments he felt strangely unfulfilled. Having reached his goals on Earth, he became lost. No longer did he have more to work for. His life had essentially become meaningless.
Then, it happened. The Dead Sea scrolls were discovered, prophesizing the end of humanity. Most men would be horrified to know how the world would end. Keele simply cracked a smile. He now had a goal.
Unfortunately for him, the process was a long one. It involved the souls of the first two angels that terrorized the world. Until recently, he was under the impression that he must sit back and allow the future to bring itself forward.
Now, he had found a way to speed up the process and ensure that his goal is met. It was only a matter of time.
Omake:
(August 20th, 2015, Katsuragi Residence: 12:48 a.m.)
Shinji and Asuka sat in front of the TV, watching a drama. Asuka was lying on her stomach and idly swinging her feet in the air. Shinji simply sat next to her, occasionally stealing a few glances at his redheaded roommate. The drama didn't really interest him.
"Shinji?" Asuka asked, getting Shinji's attention.
"Yea?" Shinji replied, noticing Asuka's eyes were still glued to the TV.
"Could you do me a favor?"
"Sure, what?"
"Could you get me some melon flavored ice cream?"
Shinji was a bit taken aback by the sheer randomness of the request. He shrugged it off and complied with her wish.
"Sure, I'll be back in a couple minutes."
Shinji quietly went into his room and got a jacket. He slipped it on as he walked trough the apartment and out the door.
'I wonder what that was about.' Shinji thought to himself, 'I know Asuka has some weird cravings but why the hell did she send me out to get melon flavored ice cream at one in the morning?'
Walking towards the nearest convenience store, he noticed an odd phenomenon. There was a line of people spilling out of the entrance of the store and into the street. Stranger still, the line was completely composed of confused looking men of various ages. Shinji was shocked to see a familiar face at the end of the line.
"Toji?"
"Huh? Shinji? What're you doing here."
Shinji paused for a second, not sure of what to say.
"Don't tell me you're here to buy melon flavored ice cream."
"Huh?! How'd you know?!"
"I've been waiting in line for almost an hour. I talked to some guys and all of them are here for the same reason. They've all been sent here to buy melon flavored ice cream."
"What the hell?"
"Yea, weird huh?"
"Yea."
"It gets even stranger, everyone here was sent to buy melon flavored ice cream for a girl. That guy over there is here to get some for his wife, that guy is here to get some for his girlfriend, and I'm here to get some for my sister."
'What the hell is going on,' Shinji thought, 'this is ridiculous.'
(August 20th, 2015, Somewhere in Japan: 1:10 a.m.)
A large office housed a rather long table, around which were seated more than a dozen men that wore triumphant expressions.
"We did it!" one exclaimed, "Our marketing campaign is a success!"
"Our profits are soaring!" another shouted enthusiastically, while pointing at the digital chart on his laptop, "We've just made double the amount we've been able to sell in the past five months!"
"Gentlemen," a man said with authority in his voice, "congratulations, we've shattered all the old sales records! We're rich!"
An excited cheer of approval greeted his words. A member of the board smiled and chuckled.
"Melon flavored ice cream… who would have thought…"
Author's notes: Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate all the comments. I'm especially glad that most people seemed to enjoy the omakes. They're actually my favorite since they allow me to be random and creative. This chapter's does seem a little excessive though. Glad you guys understand that I'm still getting used to writing. I know my character development isn't very good at the moment, but the only way I'll get better is if I continue to write (Which I shall). The next chapter should be when everything kicks off and the story begins to flow smoothly. The last few chapters were mostly used to introducing the story. Anyways, thanks again and keep reviewing. I can only grow as a writer by making mistakes and fixing them, which I can't do unless someone lets me know. And since I don't have any pre readers at the moment, I'm relying on the reviews.
P.S. I actually recall a scene in episode 8 of Neon Genesis when Asuka actually does start punching Shinji's head and pulling on his hair.