July 2007

This was not supposed to happen. Definitely not. Most definitely DEFINITELY not. In fact if Brennan had a list for things she should try and refrain from doing, it would be number one.

Sleeping with Booth. Right above murdering someone.

It sort of was murder, to their partnership. Thing would never be the same. She wanted them to stay the same. She needed Booth, and "relationship" relationships never worked for her.

She took a second to keep a memory of what it felt like to be in his arms. They were firmly wrapped around her body, pulling her close to him. She closed her eyes savoring it, and then twisted herself slowly out of his arms, and tip toed as quietly as she could across the room.

Even though it was nearly mid morning on a hot July day, Brennan shivered. Booth's air conditioning was blasting keeping the apartment from being turned into the 7th circle, but Brennan was freezing wearing only Booth's white dress shirt.

She bit her lip, looking for her clothes, and then drawing her eyes back at Booth, who was still seemingly asleep half naked in bed. Admiring his rippling physique, she decided that looking for the clothes was better for her willpower.

She saw her black tank top and bra lying strewn across the couch, and quickly grabbed them, as if someone was watching her. They had entered the apartment quickly, clothing pulled off in frenzy.

Thinking back, she knew she should have thought about the consequences, but it had been incredibly hot, and Booth, had been Booth. The only thing that she had been able to think about was…satisfying her biological urges.

She grabbed her clothes, and then realized she was missing a crucial part of her outfit, the jeans she had been wearing. She cringed realizing that they were in Booth's room. She knew she was horrible at being quiet, and she could really do with not waking him up.

She tiptoed into the room, finding her jeans on the floor right next to Booth. She walked quietly, wincing when the floor boards creaked loudly. She grabbed them as fast as she could; pulling them on over her slim hips and tip toeing back across the room.

"Bones, where are you going?"

Crap.

She turned, and Booth noted that she unbelievably sexy wearing only a pair of jeans and his white dress shirt, unbuttoned at the top, her dark hair messily cascading down her shoulders.

Although by the look on her face, she didn't look very happy about their current predicament.

"I'm just going to go Booth."

"Wait."

Booth pulled himself out of bed, revealing that he was only wearing a pair of boxer, and Brennan couldn't help salivate over his rippling torso. She closed her eyes quickly, trying to gain some semblance of the use of verbal communication back.

She ran a hand through her hair, not looking at him. "No I really need to go. This isn't…I mean we're not…"

She trailed off, trying to think of what to say.

"We could be."

She looked up at him. He was smiling widely at her, and she couldn't smile back, everything was too complicated.

"No! We can't Booth. Last night was…we were satisfying biological urges. That's it."

Brennan sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than him and she hated herself for it. She hated that she knew it wasn't true.

Booth put his hands up in defense, "Whoa. Ok Bones, you just need to chill."

"I can't chill Booth. We can't chill. You and I aren't chilling."

Booth laughed, "This isn't funny, and it's not funny."

"No I'm not laughing at that Bones. Listen, there's something I have to tell you."

She glared at him, not enjoying him making fun of her. "What?"

"You and I, it could work Bones. It would work because, I'm completely and fully in love with you," Booth sighed, "God, I can't believe I just told you that, but it's the truth. Give us a chance Temperance. Please."

He loves me. That's not…that's not supposed to happen.

She ran a hand through her hair, trying to figure out what to do. She didn't want things to change, but they seemed to be so rapidly, that she had no clue how to go back.

"I have to go Booth, I can't. Sorry."

She almost sprinted across the apartment, slamming the door behind her, leaving Booth alone, wishing that things weren't so damn complicated. That he wasn't in love with a women, who gave complicated its own definition.

March 2011

"No?"

That wasn't possible. Was it? Maybe he was just imagining things. It hadn't been his imagination that Brennan's kids had a slight resemblance to him. Screw that, it was obvious that they looked like him.

Brennan inwardly kicked herself. She didn't know what she was doing. Lying to Booth about his kids. This was definitely NOT the right thing to be doing. Seriously. It was definitely not logical. None of this was. It wasn't logical that Booth left. It wasn't supposed to be like that. With Booth's alpha-male qualities, he should have stayed. Anthropologically he should have stayed.

It wasn't logical that she had gotten pregnant and had to do it all alone. She should have had someone there. She should have had someone to hold her when she cried and to smile when Sam and Chloe first walked and talked. But she hadn't, and she didn't. She didn't need anybody. Yeah right.

Most of all it just wasn't logical that she had….lied to Booth about his own children. She wasn't used to feeling things like this. Uncertainty, and guilt, and insecurity, and fear. After he left, she had promised herself that she wouldn't be afraid. But she was. She was afraid that he was going to take them away from her. They were all she had.

"No. They're not yours."

Booth looked at her suspiciously, and Brennan met his gaze, knowing that if she avoided him, he would know she was lying in an instant. She tried to push down the emotions that were rising in her chest.

"Are you sure about that?"

She breathed in, biting her lip tightly. "Yes I'm pretty sure Booth; I did give birth to them."

Booth watched her. He didn't know what to say. What to do. It was so different then how it had been. Before they had been perfectly fit together. Every word, every glance had been easy, and now they were clashing.

He knew the result of his absence would hit her hard, but he didn't know that such a violent change would occur. It felt like the Washington Memorial wasn't there anymore. DC was nothing without the Washington Memorial, and he was nothing without Bones, he had learned that when he was living in New York.

He was going to trust her if she said that the twins weren't his. Although he thought they looked like exact replicas of he and Bones, he knew it was probably his mind playing malicious tricks on him. But he had a feeling when he met them, some sort of connection, but maybe he was just trying to reach out to Brennan in any way he could.

"How old are they Bones?"

She swallowed, shutting her eyes quickly. "3. They were 3 four days ago."

Today was the 25. March 25. That would mean that their birthday was March 21. Parker's birthday. She had never said anything.

"All of those letters. Those emails. The presents you sent Parker and you never mentioned that you had kids? Their birthday is the same as Parker's, what did it just slip your mind."

"It wasn't relevant."

"I'd say it was."

"You know it actually wasn't. You were gone. We were over. So I don't know why you're even still standing here."

This is wrong. I know this is wrong. Why am I still trying to drive him away?

Booth did the math in his mind, if their birthday was in March, that would mean she would have gotten pregnant in September, and if they weren't his, that would mean that she would have had to gotten pregnant just weeks after he was gone.

"I guess you didn't waste any time after I was gone. How long was it Temperance? Weeks? Days, until you found some other guy to take my place. I guess you and I weren't more then just sex---,"

Booth was stopped by the stinging pain of Brennan's hand slapping him hard across the face. He raised a hand to his face, knowing that he had gone too far.

Brennan was glaring at him with a look he had never seen on her face before. She looked so angry, so hurt. Tears were spilling quickly down her cheeks, and she wiped them away quickly.

"How dare you even think that you know what went on after you left. How I felt. You don't."

Booth opened his mouth to speak, but he had nothing to say. More tears ran down her face, and she didn't bother to wipe them away.

"Don't even say anything else to me. How I dealt with your abandonment is my business. Chloe and Sam are my business. Our relationship is so over; I can't even remember how I could ever fall in love with you."

Brennan turned quickly, looking at him one last time, before slamming the door loudly in his face. She couldn't stand there pretending that everything was over between them. That there was nothing still waiting to be said, that she didn't long for him to wrap his arms around her and hold her.

She leaned against the door frame, sliding down, her back to the door, burying her head in her hands. The muffled sobs shaking her body. She didn't know what to do, because no matter what she did. And what she said, he would never no how much she still loved him. He could never know, because she had promised herself 3 years ago, that she would never let him again.

Some promises have to be broken.