One of my favorite posts of the story so far, so I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much a I enjoyed writing it, it is seriosly fun to get into the character's heads omg...

July 2007

The last week had been torture. It had been one of the most awkward, most uncomfortable, tension filled week of Brennan's life. Nope, scratch that, it wasn't one of them; it was the worst week of her life.

They had tried to pretend like it didn't happen. Or she had. Booth had tried to talk to her about it, but she had been cold and distant, brushing him off whenever he tried to bring up the subject.

The time they spent, in the lab, in his SUV, at the diner, which had previously been filled with comfortable banter and welcoming silences were now filled with tension and coldness.

She couldn't help it. She felt so detached from him. So far away from everything that she knew. Like she was looking back at it, through a window, except she as on the outside, desperately banging on the glass to get back in.

She wanted it back. She wanted him back. Everything just felt so wrong. Not talking to him, not being near him, it just felt like she was the victim of some horrible…she couldn't even put words to it.

Every single time they were alone, she tried to say something. She would look at him, open her mouth, and then all she could think about was the night they spent together. Choppy flashes of his lips on her bare skin, pushing her down roughly on the bed, the sizzling passion that had kindled between them.

He would stare at her with those huge brown eyes, and she could see how hurt he was, but she couldn't say anything. And every time she didn't think of anything to say, it broke her heart even more.

He had said he loved her. That was the worst part, because now she had to pretend that she didn't love him. That she didn't feel anything. That them sleeping together had had no affect on her, when really she couldn't get it out of her head.

She was done lying, that's why she was standing outside his apartment door right now, debating what to say. What was she going to say? She closed her eyes. A week ago they had pushed their way through this exact door; their lips locked together in frenzied kisses that they hadn't even thought would have repercussions.

Now she was standing alone, trying to figure out how to deal with the back lash of her actions, once again. She decided just to knock, get it over with.

She took a deep breath and knocked softly on the door, waiting for it to open. He needed to open the door sooner rather then later before she wimped out and ran away down the hall.

He opened the door, his eyes widening when he saw her, and she bit her lip still not figuring out what to say.

"Bones, what are you doing here?"

"I…I'm. Can I come in?"

He opened the door wider, motioning for her to come in. "Yeah, sure."

She walked in quickly, not looking at him. This was hard, harder then hard, more like impossible. She used to be able to tell him anything, and now the most important thing…she just couldn't figure out how.

He jammed his hands in his pockets, looking at her expectantly, the now familiar awkward silence filling the apartment.

"So what's up Bones?"

She sighed, closing her eyes quickly, and then reopening them, looking at him.

Just say what you're thinking Brennan, that usually works.

"It wasn't…It wasn't just sex."

He looked at her oddly, and she honestly wished she was anywhere but there.

"What?"

"You and me. It wasn't just sex. I didn't just sleep with you because I couldn't control myself…It meant something to me." She looked down, whispering the last words, "It still does."

He took a step closer to her, but she moved backwards. She wasn't ready for him to touch her. He couldn't always forgive her so easily, it wasn't fair to him. To both of them.

"No don't do that. Don't forgive me. I've been…"

"Just like I expected you to be Bones."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you run. Just like you always do. But it doesn't matter how far you want to run, I'm always going to chase you."

He moved closer to her, and this time she didn't move away. He reached out his hand, cradling her face, and wiping away the tears with him thumb.

"Booth, I…I don't know how to be in a relationship. Especially ours, I have a hard enough time trying to figure out how to be your partner, let alone your girlfriend."

"You and I, it means something to me too Bones. I wouldn't have let us go that far if it didn't."

She smiled. "I want us to work, not matter what it takes Booth."

He grinned widely at her, kissing her softly. She pulled back, and he could tell she was thinking.

"I want us to work, but I don't want to start something with you if…if there's a chance that you're going to leave. Or walk out. Most people do, and I don't want you to be one of them. I couldn't handle that."

"I'm not going to leave you. I promise Temperance."

She smiled. She believed him. She believed him when he said that he would always be there, and in the back of her head, she could feel that it might be her downfall.

She lifted her pinky, grinning at him widely. "Pinky swear?"

"How old are you Bones, 8?"

"I guess if you don't want to, we can just forget about it."

He rolled his eyes, linking his finger in hers, and laughing. "Jeez, guilt trip me much. If it's important to you."

"It is."

She smiled, leaning up to kiss him. She was surprised when he kissed her back hard, slipping his hands, around her waist, and sliding his hands under her shirt, sending tingles down her spine.

She put her hands on his chest, grinning as she pulled away breathlessly. "So that's it? What happens next?"

"Whatever you want Bones."

She grinned mischievously, whispering in his ear softly, making him grin wildly. He kissed her, pulling her over his shoulder eliciting giggles, and then screams of ecstasy as he carried her into his bedroom, the light switch clicking off in gratifying satisfaction.

Maybe things aren't always supposed to go as planned.

Saturday March 26, 2011

She couldn't remember the last time she spent a Saturday at the lab. It had been before everything. Before she and Booth. Before Chloe and Sam. Before she had anything else to go home to. The lab used to be her savor. The only place she could come to that wouldn't judge her. Where she could find solace.

But then she had Booth. She didn't need to spend her extra moments at the lab alone. She had had Booth to spend her weekends with, and all the time in between with. They would spent their time lazily, a concept which had been hard for her to grasp, but once she got the hang of it, had become easy.

They would go to the park with Parker, watch as he played with the other little kids, Booth's arm draped innocently around her waist. Or he would drag her to a movie, and nicely put up with her complaining about the irrationality of its special effects, and the actors poor job of portraying the human psyche. When Booth didn't have Parker, sometimes they would spend a whole day in bed, his arms around her, just talking and kissing as the sun rose and set around them, bathing his bedroom in warm light.

Then Booth had left, and she had spent her time in her own apartment. Trying to cope with his disappearance. She didn't want to be at the lab. It had been tainted with him. Every part of it brought back memories. She hated him for taking her safety from her.

The twins had been born, and she had spent every extra moment outside of work with them. At first she hadn't even been able to work for about 5 months while they were still little. She had taken a sabbatical, and Angela had visited often, with help that Brennan was very grateful for.

There hadn't been time for the lab. Her kids needed her. Even more so since Booth wasn't around. She was there for them when they were sick, and when they were sad, and when other little kids picked on them. It wasn't supposed to be like that. That she had to handle everything, but it was, and she had come to accept it.

Now he was back. And she needed to have somewhere neutral, somewhere safe, more then ever. The twins had been invited to a birthday party which they had been eager to attend, and Brennan had driven directly to the lab, not a second thought in her mind.

The rain still pounded hard on the roof of the Jeffersonian, but Brennan couldn't hear it, its soothing cadence drowned out by the loud music blaring out of the speakers.

She usually didn't approve of listening to music while she was working. She liked to concentrate on the skeleton. On the person who had died lying before her who deserved her utmost attention.

But today as she pieced together the shattered skull in front of her, she needed to loud music to drown out Booth's wounding words. They kept replaying in her mind, over and over again, until she couldn't handle it anymore, and had plugged in her Ipod into the speakers, choosing the loudest, most blasting music to fill the large space of the Jeffersonian Medico Legal Lab, and to fill her mind with something other then his cutting accusations.

She leaned her elbows on the autopsy table, burying her head in her hands, sighing in frustration. It was all too much to handle. She couldn't even put together the skull correctly. That never happened.

Even over the numbness of the music, she could hear footsteps on the platform, and the far away sound of the key card clicking. Without even turning, she knew it was him. The rest of the squints never came to the lab on the weekends unless they had a case. Which they didn't.

She forced herself not to turn around. She didn't want to grant him the satisfaction of her acknowledgment. She stared at the fractured skull, her eyes blurring as she tried not to blink.

"Bones!"

He was yelling over the music, but she wasn't going to look up. She didn't want to talk to him. He was just going to hurt her again, and she didn't want that.

"Where are the twins Bones?"

She could feel him staring at her, but she still wasn't going to look at him. He couldn't always win.

He walked over to the computer, pressing pause of her Ipod, letting the silence close in on her. Like a black hole, she was sucked into it all again, everything came flooding back in the silence.

She looked up at him, angry that he thought he had the right to do this. After last night, he had lost any semblance of anything that he had control over in her life.

"What?!"

He put his hands up in a surrending manner, but she didn't buy it, she glared at him angrily. Angry that he had thought he could come here again, and even angrier that he had ended the numbness that she had put herself into.

"I just want to talk to you."

She laughed sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Please, Bones. Last night---,"

"Last night you called basically called me a whore Booth, so I'm not really in any mood to speak to you."

"I didn't call you a whore Temperance."

She wanted to hurl herself at him, and hit him until he disappeared. But she had more self control then that.

"Don't call me that. You think that if you come in here; call me by my first name that I'll forgive you like I used to. I won't. I'm not like I used to be."

Brennan's eyes flashed dark as she hurled the words at him, wishing she could hurt him even half as much as he had wounded her.

You're exactly like you used to be, which surprises me actually.

Booth studied her, his eyes scanning her face. She looked so angry at him, he was almost afraid. He knew last night he had gone over the line. He had been frustrated. How could she have been not pregnant when he left, and then 3 ½ years later have twins? It seemed impossible.

She looked the same as she always did. Gorgeous. Her eyes shone even brighter against the navy v-neck sweater she was wearing, plunging dangerously close to her creamy cleavage, and the tight black jeans, accented her perfect figure. He hadn't forgotten what it was like to be in her presence.

She definitely was angry. He didn't blame her. Usually she would open up to him, but she seemed to have her emotions on formidable defense, which even he was having trouble breaking through.

"I'm not here to get you to forgive me. I just need to apologize for what I said. It was out of line, and I'm sorry. You had the right to move on; I just didn't realize what it would feel like when you did."

He looked down, and she almost felt sympathetic for a second. But quickly it faded away. She couldn't let him get to her. Not now.

"Booth, there's nothing left of what we had. And honestly, if you could leave so easily, I'm not sure it was much of anything."

He could either leave and let her get away with pushing him away, or he could stand up to her like he used to.

"You know that's not true."

He moved closer to her, and he could see her hold her breath, biting her lip tensely. He was not standing extremely close to her, their bodies and faces on inches apart.

"Don't Booth."

"Listen, we are going to have to work together. And I'd rather it be amicably then the way it has been going so far. I don't want to spend my days fighting with you."

Brennan knew she should move. That she shouldn't be standing so close to him. It was way past dangerous, every alert system in her body was ringing loudly, but she had missed being close to him, and instead she stood her ground.

"You brought it on yourself Booth. Maybe you should have thought about the repercussions before you just picked up and left."

"You don't think that I regret that Bones? Regret leaving you? I do. More than anything."

That was it, she stepped away from him. Any closer and she knew she wouldn't be able to pull away.

"I have to go."

She turned, but he grabbed her, spinning her around to face him. She felt shivers shoot up where his hand was grasping her arm tightly. She looked up into his eyes, the comfort that they brought washed over her. Temporarily she forgot everything. All that mattered was that he was there. Their faces were so close, and she leaned up like she always had, their lips almost touching. Literally a centimeter, but she pulled away, shaking her head.

"God, what am I doing? I have to go."

"Bones I didn't mean to."

"No it wasn't your fault, I'm just…I need to go."

She grabbed her Ipod, running down the steps, disappearing through the sliding doors. Booth knew it wouldn't do any good to chase her, and instead her leaned against the autopsy table, leaning his head in his hands, cursing his stupidity for making her get close when she wasn't ready. He knew that with Brennan it was opposites. Being close pushed her farther away, and right now, she seemed like she was a universe away.

Unattainable.