August 2007

The sunset from the steps of Lincoln Memorial was a sight to behold. The sun seemed to burn crimson before it dipped beneath the golden sky, setting the sky on fire with shades of scarlet and burgundy before it disappeared completely, its reflection still dancing hauntingly on the rippling surface of the wading pool.

The sun cast its last light on the couple perched comfortably on the steps. Booth and Brennan were sitting on the steps of the memorial, a spot which Brennan had deemed as irrational and not logical to eat ice cream on at sunset, but Booth had dragged her along, promising that it would be great.

It had lived up to her expectations, and then some. It was definitely the best view of the sunset from the whole city, and she wanted to just sit there forever, watching as the already pink sky delicately shifted into navy blue, and then the inkiest of black, the stars popping up everywhere like diamonds.

His arms were wrapped around her tightly, and she shivered, glad that he was there to keep her warm. She was wearing a white tank top and shorts. It was a Saturday and had been well over 90 degrees on the hot August day, so she hadn't expected to get cold.

Although she knew the giant chocolate ice cream cone she was divulging in wasn't helping her cause. She bit the cone, happy to be getting to her favorite part.

"Taste good Bones?"

She turned around, smiling broadly at him. "Yes, thank you."

"I told you this would be the best view in the entire city. I come here all the time with Parker. We get ice cream too."

"I imagine the experience is a little bit different with me though. Seeing as I'm not your son."

He leaned down, kissing her hair softly, and then she tilted her face, so their lips met in a soft kiss. She let her tongue mingle slightly with his.

"No, you are definitely…" He kissed her again softly, "Not my son."

"That's good to know. Even though logically it's not possible."

"I'm glad." Booth interlaced his fingers with hers, smiling at her.

They continued to eat their ice cream in comfortable silence. The day had been nice, better then nice actually. They had woken up late, gone to the diner for nice tall stack of blueberry pancakes, and then walked around DC, and eventually stopping for ice cream. Booth had noted that they were near the Lincoln Memorial, and had almost made her run through the park in order to get there before sunset. She had glared at him for a while, while he was dragging her but he knew that it was worth it.

She leaned into him, closing her eyes for a minute, and then reopening them, as if she was deep in thought about something.

He could tell she was thinking about things. In the month they had been dating, a lot of things had become quite apparent to him. The most surprising of them all, was how much he was really falling for her. Completely and head over heels. Not that he hadn't been before. But this was different. Being with her as her boyfriend was so different then being her friend her partner, it was like night and day.

He was about to speak when she beat him to the punch, and he could tell what she was going to say was important, so he let her continue talking.

"My parents used to take me and Russ to watch the sunset. There was this field by our house, and we used to have to sneak through the neighbor's backyard to get to it. I remember being so scared that we'd be caught, but we never did. We would sit in the field, watching the sun set, and my dad would always tell me that 6 billion other people in the world were watching the same sun. I always thought that was so amazing, its part of the reason I wanted to be an anthropologist. This reminds me of that. Watching the sunset."

He turned her to face him, and he could see her eyes were glassy from held back tears. She wiped them away quickly, and he leaned down kissing her softly.

"Listen Bones, I know that it's hard for you to remember. But it's important that you do. Our memories are what make us ourselves."

"I know…that's why I told you."

"I think it's true, what your dad said about all those people. It's true. We like to think we're the only ones out there, but there are so many more people, watching. Remembering, just like you."

"Booth, when I'm with you… I feel like I'm the only one."

"Bones, it's always been you. You feel that way, because you always have been the only one. And I've tried to deny it, and I've tried to fight it, but I can't. You're undeniable."

She smiled, as he leaned down kissing her softly. She leaned back into him, as he stroked her hair, feeling her heart beat rhythmically against his chest. It only made it even more real.

They sat there until the sun had set, and there was no memory of the sun left on the water's surface. Ol' Honest Abe, smiled down at the couple, who had finally found the one thing that they had been looking for.

Each other.

The problem with finding things is they always get lost.

March 27, 2011

Brennan sighed loudly as she stared out the window of her apartment, her knees drawn up to her chest, her chin resting softly on them. The rain beat down hard, bouncing off of the roofs below her apartment, and settling in deep puddles on the sidewalks.

It wasn't exactly her ideal Sunday to be spending the entire day, basically stuck in her apartment with 2 three year olds. It wasn't Sam and Chloe so much that were driving her crazy, but their urge to bounce around the apartment like they had just drank way too much Red Bull, which she reminded herself was impossible because she didn't even have any in the apartment.

That had happened once. Somehow they had poured Red Bull into their sippy cups instead of water, and Brennan had found herself with the most hyper active wild 2 and a half year olds on the planet. That had been the last time she had bought Red Bull.

She smiled at the memory, even though it had been a bit of a pain at the time. She glanced over at the twins, frowning slightly when she saw what they were doing. They had been jumping up and down, climbing all over her, clamoring for something to do.

Usually on Sundays she would take them to the playground to play, or to the diner for slices of cherry pie. Sometimes they would visit the memorials, or Brennan would play soccer with them on the large lawn in Rock Creek Park. She loved how happy they looked when they scored goals on her, their small faces lighting up.

Without the ability of going outside, their day had been somewhat limited, and Brennan could see that they had found their own way to entertain themselves. They both had mixing bowls fixed on their laps, each of which seemed to be overflowing with greenish blue bubbles.

"Chloe? Sam? What are you doing?"

They turned and looked at her sheepishly, hiding the bowls behind them, and smiling widely.

"Nothing mommy!"

"Nothing really? So if I was to come over there, there would be nothing in those bowls of yours?"

Sam elbowed Chloe, "I tells you she would know!"

Chloe stuck her tongue out at her brother, raising a finger to her lips and shushing him loudly.

"Mommy we were just cooking!"

Sam looked at Chloe suspiciously, raising his eyebrows, and crossing his arms across him chest, in a very Booth-like manner that made Brennan smile and want to cry at the same time.

"Ok, just make sure you don't 'cook' on the furniture."

They both nodded exuberantly. "Don't wowy mommy, we won't spill!"

She nodded, laughing softly as they scurried back into the kitchen, whispering loudly.

"Ok."

She lay her chin back on her knees, staring out the window, feeling trapped. She snuggled into the large grey sweater that she was wearing; her feet warm in her favorite pair of fuzzy knee socks. Wishing that they would give her as much comfort as they usually did.

She didn't know what was going on with her anymore. Yesterday. She closed her eyes, remembering every tiny detail that was still lodged obnoxiously in her mind. Yesterday had been…so confusing.

She had almost kissed Booth. Booth. Ex-boyfriend, ex-partner, unknown illegitimate father of her children, the man who had abandoned her, Booth. How had that happened? It was so wrong, everything that was happening just seemed so wrong. But at the time it had seemed so right.

For a split second it felt like that was what was supposed to happen. That she was supposed to forgive him, kiss him, and that everything would be all right. Luckily she had regained her consciousness, literally not a second too late. Their lips had been almost touching, and she almost could taste his lips on hers.

She shouldn't have even let herself get that close. That had been way past where she had drawn the line. Way past where it had been safe.

I've crossed the lines before. But not again. I won't.

Worse she was feeling horribly guilty for lying. She wasn't a liar. She had never lied to Booth before. Especially about something as important as this. But some how, she felt like it was the right thing to do.

If it's the right thing, why do I feel so horrible.

She hated that she felt guilty. He was the one that had left her. Left her pregnant, alone, and still horribly in love with him.

I'm still in love with him. That's why I feel so horrible.

She wanted to hurl something across the room for still feeling like that. It wasn't supposed to be like that. She was supposed to be able to forget him. That's what he did. Why did she have to be the one so attached this time?

Within days, no hours of his arrival, she had found herself pulled back into everything she tried to leave behind. She had almost kissed him again. She obviously had no self control, rationality, or any idea to protect herself from him. She had thought she had it. Apparently not.

She closed her eyes, listening to the rain beat rhythmically on the pavement below. The weather was reflecting her mood. Dark and depressing.

Just as she almost could feel sleep was over her, the knock came on the door. She wasn't sure if she was hearing correctly or if she was just conjuring sound from the continuous downpour.

Coming to the conclusion that someone was really knocking on the door, she quickly walked across the hallway, and opened it quickly without checking the peep hole. For the 2nd time all weekend, she wished she had checked.

"Are you stalking me?"

Booth was slightly comforted by the small smile that played weakly across her face. It had been the first time she had smiled since he had seen her. Or at least smiled at him.

He smiled back at her, and she looked away. She couldn't handle that smile; it was too nostalgic of better days. When he had loved her.

"No, I just wanted to come and apologize for what happened yesterday."

The smile vanished from her face; in place was the emotionless mask that he seemed to be eliciting from her a lot lately. Although her face looked unaffected, he could see her eyes staring back at him questioningly.

"Nothing happened yesterday Booth. You don't need to apologize for anything."

"No, I shouldn't be pressuring you to talk to me. I understand why you wouldn't want to ever again."

"Actually, you don't understand, but I accept your apology," She looked down, and then back up at him, "For both things."

"Ok, so we're good?"

She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "No."

"No?"

"No we're not good. I can't be 'good' with you Booth. I'll work with you without fighting you, but I'm not going to be your friend. Things can't go back the way they used to."

"They won't go back if you don't want them to."

"You don't get it. I can't go back. Too much has happened Booth, and you weren't a part of it."

Booth didn't know how to fix this. He couldn't go back in time. He couldn't change what had happened. The fact that she had moved on, that he had left her. He wished he could.

"If that's what you want."

"It is."

"So you and me, just partners."

Maybe if I keep telling myself this, I'll believe it.

She nodded, "Just partners. There's nothing left Booth."

I don't want to be just partners with him. But I have to be. It's the only way I won't get hurt.

"Listen Bones, I know you're set on not living in the past. I understand that. It's logical."

She raised her eyebrows, looking at him expectantly.

"Yes."

"But, I'm sure you haven't eaten very much today, and I was wondering if you wanted to get some lunch? You can bring Sam and Chloe. They can play with Parker, he'll love them."

"Lunch?"

She looked at him blankly. "Yeah lunch, comes after breakfast, before dinner."

"I know what lunch is Booth."

"I know you want to be just partners, but partners have to eat, right?"

"Booth, I don't know…" This isn't smart Brennan. I shouldn't go, right? That would be bad.

"Please Bones. Even if you don't care about us, I want to fix it. Even if it's just partners."

You can't fix me. It's your fault that I'm broken.

She found herself agreeing to lunch with him. She didn't know what she was doing, but it felt right. He felt right. He always had.

"Fine, I'll go. But don't feel and obligation to fix me Booth. I'm not part of your life anymore."

Booth found himself smiling widely that she had agreed. Any time with her was better then nothing. Before he could speak, she continued talking.

"I'll meet you at the diner in 15 minutes."

With that she turned, slamming the door in his face, but this time Booth was grinning widely as he walked down the hall, tossing his keys in his hands. Maybe he could fix things. Maybe there was a chance in hell, that things were going to be all right.