August 2007
Brennan woke up early. She could tell because the sun wasn't even peaking over the horizon through Booth's window. The sky was still a pale pink as the stars began to fade, not showing their faces again until the moon rose again.
She shut her eyes tightly, trying to get back to sleep. She snuggled closely into Booth's arms which were wrapped tightly around her body, trying to relax and let sleep overcome her.
She had easily gotten used to waking up in Booth's arms. She loved the way he would wrap his arms tightly around her before they went to sleep, running his knuckles softly up her arm, sending shivers down her spine every time they touched. He would kiss her neck softly, before he would whisper goodnight huskily in her ear. His warm breath making her grin widely in the dark.
It was a rare occurrence that she could actually fall asleep after that, and they usually spent the next part of the night engaging in much more pleasurable 'activities'.
But she couldn't find her way back to sleep. She opened her eyes again, leaning over slightly to see what time it was. The neon red letters flashed at exactly 7:00 am. She should have been more tired. In fact she should have been exhausted.
She and Booth had slaved over finishing a particularly emotionally and physically draining case whose victim had been an 8-year old girl, found 30 feet down in a cave in Virginia. They had worked all week, spelunking down through the caves, scrounging around in the dark for clues to her murder, and then finally coming to a disappointing culmination when they found her murderer who had committed suicide, hours before they came to arrest him.
If that wasn't enough they had to go back to the lab, compare notes, fill out all the paper work, and scramble to put together the case for the prosecutors. Of course they had had Wong Fu's to push them along, but it had been just past 1 am when they had shuffled into his apartment, half asleep. It was a Friday night, and they had hoped to finish early and spend time with Parker for the night, but luck hadn't been on their side.
As soon as her head had hit the pillows she had fallen asleep, but she couldn't seem to regain that feeling. Instead she was filled with energy, the adrenaline shooting through her veins like rapid fire. Usually after cases like this one she felt drained. Discouraged, but right now she felt like all she needed was to move.
She carefully slid out from under Booth's arms, smiling when he didn't even flinch. She knew he was exhausted, and it would be good to let him sleep.
Maybe she would go for a run. Running always quieted her mind. The feeling of hitting the pavement hard, with no one to judge you, just the sound of her heart beating loudly in her ears. She needed to clean out the thoughts of the case.
She used to spend the weekends at the lab. Slaving over ancient remains, bodies from limbo, and anything else she could get her science starved hands on. She didn't have anybody to spend the weekends with, and she would rather have the companionship of skeletons then sit in her apartment all alone.
But things had changed. She had Booth now. She didn't have to be alone, and the time that they spent together, she would rather have it not tainted by memory of murder and despair. She wanted to be with Booth without being his partner. When they weren't in the lab, she was his girlfriend. His Bones, nothing else.
She took one last look at Booth who was snoring softly, smiled, and closed the door, tip toeing out into the apartment to search for her bag which she had dropped at some not designated spot at the un-godly hour they had gotten in at last night.
"Dr. Bones! You're awake so early!"
She had forgotten that Parker at the age of 5, would wake up extremely early. She smiled, walking over to where the little boy seemed to be coloring in a giraffe with a purple crayon.
Why is the giraffe purple? It's not logical.
"I couldn't sleep. What are you drawing?"
She kneeled down so she was at him level, leaning her elbows on the small plastic play table where crayons were strewn messily, and giraffes were purple.
"A gerraffe," Parker scrunched up his little face in deep thought, "I mean giraffe!"
Brennan smiled widely. "Why is the giraffe purple?"
Parker bit his thumb, looking down at his giraffe. "Um...uh, cause I want it to be Dr. Bones. Yellow giraffes are boring!"
Brennan smiled, decided that that much logic was good enough for her. "I agree."
Parker nodded as if it was obvious that she would agree. Who wouldn't? He pointed a chubby finger at his paper, pointing out animals to her. "And look. This is the zebwa, and the parrot, and the lion, and the gazelle!"
The paper was covered with blue lions, pink and yellow zebras, a black parrot, and green gazelles. Brennan had to giggle uncharacteristically at how funny it looked. But she liked it. She decided that instead of running, being with Parker would be liberating enough.
"Its beautiful."
"Thank you!"
Parker picked up a bright red crayon, coloring in an alligator that appeared to be leaning over to drink at a watering whole. She noted how intensely he seemed to be concentrating on coloring exactly in the lines.
"Hey Parker, how do you feel about getting pancakes?"
He instantly dropped his crayon, his huge brown eyes sparkling with only the amount of excitement a 5 year old can get away with.
"Pancakes! I love pancakes!"
She ruffled his hair, smiling. "I know you do, so I thought we would go and pick some up and bring some back for your dad."
"Is Daddy still asleep?"
"Yes he's really tired."
"Daddy is lazy sometimes," Parker eyes widened, and Brennan stifled a laugh. "But don't tell him I said that's. He might get mad."
Brennan put her finger to her lips, "I won't tell him, don't worry."
Parker nodded a satisfied smile on his lips, "Good."
He grabbed Brennan's hand, pulling her up with a lot of strength for a little boy, and dragging her across the apartment.
"Come on Dr. Bones, let's get pancakes."
She laughed, letting herself be pulled across the apartment.
"Hold on Parker, I have to change out of my pajamas first."
He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at her in a way that made him look even more like Booth then he already did.
"Ok, but hurry up, I'm hungry."
She laughed at his bossiness, and watched as he stared at her while she pulled out her white shorts and tank top from her bag.
"Just wait a minute, I'll get dressed, and I have to write you dad a note."
"Go fast!"
"I will, I will. Parker you're just like your dad."
He beamed proudly. "Thank you!"
That certainly is something that you want to aspire to. Parker's lucky to have some one who loves him so much. And so am I.
Brennan carefully opened the door to Booth's apartment. She didn't know if he was asleep or not, but she didn't want to wake him if he was. Yet.
Parker followed behind her, humming happily to himself. He was almost completely covered in syrup and completely hyper from the chocolate chip pancakes he had consumed.
She had found that Parker was almost a better remedy to clear her mind then running was. He had filled her mind with stories of Kindergarten, dinosaurs, and a lizard he had found outside a few days ago.
"Dr. Bones! That was so yummy, thanks for taking me."
"You're welcome Parker."
"Can I watch cartoons?"
She nodded, "Sure." She wanted to spend some time alone with Booth. She loved Parker to death, but he had a certain way to kill a mood.
"Yay!" He scrambled across the apartment, plopping down on the couch, and clicking on the remote to the world of animated dragons and sponges.
Brennan removed the flip flops that she was wearing, tip toeing slowly into Booth's room. She opened the door, wincing when it creaked.
She smiled seeing that he was still fast asleep. It was already 8:30, and she decided that he had had enough time to sleep. Now she wanted him awake. She could only wait with Parker for so long.
She crawled onto the bed, the pancakes that she had brought him in hand. She moved up so she was sitting next to his chest, leaning back on her heels.
"Booth…Booth wake up."
He didn't stir, and he frowned, bouncing up and down a little on the bed to alert him to her presence. She didn't like to be ignored.
"Booth. Wake up. I brought you pancakes."
She slid the box in front of his face, finally annoyed that he would wake up; she leaned in next to his ear, and yelled as loud as she could.
"Wake up!"
He sat up abruptly, covering his ears with the pillow, and cursing loudly.
"Jesus Bones! What the hell was that for?"
She smiled with satisfaction, sitting back down on her heels. "Good, finally you're awake."
He sighed, shaking his head at her. "Sometimes I could just…."
She grinned mischievously. "Kiss me?"
"I was actually thinking of something a little more violent, but that will work I guess."
"I brought you pancakes, are you still mad?"
His eyes widened. "How the hell did you get pancakes?"
She tucked her hair behind her ears. "Parker and I went out while you were sleeping."
"Where are they?"
She waved the box in front of his face, and then pulled it away when he tried to grab it.
"Hey!"
"Aren't you going to apologize for yelling at me?"
"Why would I apologize, you're the one who screamed in my ear?"
She shrugged her shoulders, "Fine I guess you don't get any pancakes then."
She tried to slide off of the bed, but Booth wrapped an arm around her waste, pulling her close to him. She giggled, as he turned her to face him crashing his lips to hers in a fierce kiss for a man who had just been asleep minutes before.
She smiled widely, liking being so close to him.
"What was that for?"
"Pancakes."
She leaned over so she was on top of him, leaning in and kissing him again, his arms rested on her waste.
"Forget the pancakes," She grinned, "Parker's watching cartoons."
He grinned widely, turning over, so his body was suspended inches above hers. He crashed his lips against hers, her hands tangled around his neck.
"Pancakes can definitely wait."
She laughed. Maybe like Booth said it was the simple things in life…and for her pancakes and Booth definitely topped the list.
March 2011
Brennan looked down at her watch for what seemed like the millionth time. To her disappointment it hadn't changed since she looked at it 30 seconds ago.
She looked towards the door again, willing him to appear, the little bells jingling over his head. He was supposed to meet her over 20 minutes ago. She knew this was a bad idea.
A horrible idea. What had she been thinking? She couldn't do this. It was too hard. What was she supposed to say to him, I still love you, they're your children? She couldn't. They weren't his. He was their sperm donor and nothing else.
She looked over at Chloe and Sam who were intently drawing in the kid's menu's they had been given. She smiled, they reminded her so much of how Parker used to love to draw in his coloring books.
Even if Booth hadn't been their father for 3 years, she knew he could be. They were just like him. He would make a great father; she already knew that he was a great father to Parker. They deserved to have their father. Sam and Chloe didn't deserve for Brennan to keep him from them. But she couldn't let him.
What if he would have been a better father to them? I try so hard, but I always feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. That he would do better.
"Mommy! Can we order, we're hungwy."
Brennan smiled down at Chloe, who was looking particularly like Booth today. Her huge brown eyes sparkled underneath the lights of the diner.
"Sure babe, what do you want?"
Chloe nudged her brother who looked up from his drawing. "Sammy what do you want to order?"
"Dinoswaurs!"
"You had dinosaurs on Friday night."
"I know, but I like them mommy."
She smoothed down Sam's hair, and smiled at him. "If you want dinosaurs, you can have them."
"Well I want a milkswake mommy."
"You can have whatever you want Chlo."
Chloe was just about to respond, when they both turned facing the doorway, grinning widely.
"Look mommy, its Boof!"
Brennan felt the heat rise in her face, as she turned to look at Booth entering through the door of the diner. It sounded stupid, but at that moment she wished she had the power of invisibility.
Their eyes connected and Brennan looked down immediately as he approached, Parker following closely behind.
"Hey Bones."
"You're late."
"I know, I'm sorry there was tons of traffic."
"Hi Boof!"
"Hi Chloe, Sam, what are you drawing?"
"Dinosaurs!"
Chloe and Sam beamed widely at Booth, and Brennan almost felt sick to her stomach. They three of them were so ignorant to the fact that they were so closely related.
She turned her attention on Parker, not able to look at Booth for too long without a rise of emotions filling her chest.
"Hi Parker."
He smiled shyly, obviously confused by Sam and Chloe. "Hi Dr. Bones."
"Parker you haven't met my twins, Chloe and Sam. Chlo, Sammy, this is Parker."
Chloe and Sam directed their attention off of Booth, and extended their hands to Parker. Parker shook them gingerly, smiling widely.
"Hi Pawker, I'm Chloe. This is Sammy."
Brennan swallowed, realizing that they were indeed blood related to Parker. He was their half-brother. Great another thing to feel guilty about, keeping them away from their brother.
"I know my own name Chloe, I wanna say it."
Chloe stuck out her tongue at Sam, and the three of them started laughing over something that Parker had said, leaving the silence between Brennan and Booth even worse then ever.
"So…"
She looked down, twisting her fingers around the paper napkin on the table. She looked up at him, their eyes meeting.
"Booth, I don't think I can do this."
"What?"
"This… you and me."
"I'm not asking you to go back to us Bones. I just can't…"
He looked into her eyes, and he almost felt comforted by the way she was staring at him. So intensely that he could almost feel her eyes boring into him. They way she used to look at him.
"Can't what?"
He sighed, swiping a hand over his face, before facing her again.
"I can't stand being around you when it's like this. I need things to be ok between us. You can't stay angry at me forever."
She wanted to forgive him; she wanted to let it be ok. She wanted to let him hug her, and she wanted most of all, to tell him the truth. How she felt when he left. Who Chloe and Sam really belonged to.
But she couldn't.
"As much as you want things to be ok Booth, they're not. You can pretend that they are, and so can I. You told me that you cared about me, but I'm not and on off switch. You didn't care about me for 3 and a half years, and now you do again. I can't do that."
"That's not true. Every day I was away you were on my mind, I never stopped caring."
"Don't do this Booth. I don't want to talk about it with you."
"You act like you're the only one that lost something Temperance, but I lost you."
"You can't loose something that you didn't have Booth."
Booth jaw clenched tightly, and Brennan regretted her last words.
"I will let you push me away Temperance, and I'll let you pretend as much as you want, but don't pretend that our relationship didn't mean something, because it did. To both of us."
She blinked back the hot tears that were stinging her eyes. Why was she crying? She couldn't let him see her cry.
"I know it meant something Booth. It's easier if it didn't. I'll start over, but I can't go back."
He smiled at her, and she smiled weakly back, wiping her eyes quickly.
"Forward it is then Bones. Forward it is."
"Ok."
"Ok."
They looked down at their menus, and Brennan shielded her eyes from Booth, wishing that she didn't have to cry. She had already let him in, and with Booth anything was too much, but it felt so nice, she didn't have the rationality to push him away.