A/N: Chapter 5 for those who asked. Thanks for all of the replies, it helps me
write! Let me know your thoughts :)

Chapter 5

"Here I am Richard; you don't need to worry about sending out the dogs for me."

Richard watched as the woman he considered as a daughter shuffled in to the seat across from him and for once he noticed how strong yet how fragile she looked at the same time. She had fought for so long in her life.

"Addison, what are you doing?"

Addison leaned forward and handed him the piece of paper, "This is my doctor's note. It states that I'm under a doctor's care for my lupus as well as an obstetrician's care for my impending pregnancy."

Richard crossed his arms, "You're pregnant?"

Addison nodded, "You're the first I've told, outside of Miranda and Mark that is both of which stumbled onto the situation. I have to tell Derek, I know that but with everything going on between the two of us I'm not sure how to proceed. I want to tell him but I'm afraid that will make him take unnecessary measures."

Richard leaned forward, "Like what?"

Addison rolled her eyes, "Like halt the divorce? He's already done that, I'm saying Derek is essentially a good guy but he's just been given a slap in the face that his priorities were screwed up. I'm probably more of an obligation to him now than I ever was, so I don't want him to sacrifice himself for my sake and that of our child it's not fair to either one of us. I know I've made my fair share of mistakes but I'd like to believe that my child and I deserve better than a husband/father who's absent in heart and mind. I've been there and it hurt too much when I lost it all."

Richard nodded in understanding, "What if Derek just came to the realization that he's made a mess of things and wants a chance to fix everything he's screwed up? What if he realizes all this time he's been fooling himself…"

Addison shook her head, "He wasn't fooling himself when he said that he fell in love with her. He told me that you know, I fell in love with Meredith Grey. I just can't do it anymore Richard, I won't….He needs to let me go so I can bring this child into the world without the stress of wondering if he's going to leave me again or find the nearest exam room and…."

Richard looked at her interested but she shook her head, "I want you to talk to Derek before you make any drastic decisions."

Addison laughed to herself, "Talk is all I've been doing for the last couple of months but from the way it sounds, I've been have one-sided conversations. Well no more Richard, I gave him my all and he didn't want it…He laughed in my face and allowed his suppositions about what was the hardest time in my life to be the stick by which he measured me by and I just won't go through it again. Not when my life and that of my child is at stake."

Richard nodded and said, "Okay, okay I get it…I won't push any further, is this note all you came to tell me? Do you need anything else?"

Addison nodded, "I need a couple of days off, if there's any emergencies you can reach me by pager or call Miranda she seems to be the one with the way to contact me the quickest lately. I need time to put my affairs in order, I have to look for a place to live because if nothing else once I tell Derek that I'm pregnant he will want access to his child which I won't deny. I also need to meet with my rheumatologist again to discuss if I need to remain on the medications I'm currently on. He's asked me to see how long I can go without some of the drugs and we will begin working me off of all of them if my body can live without him."

Richard smiled at her softly, "Call Adele one of those days that you're off and let her mother you. You need it and Adele would love to do it, I'm currently on her bad list but that doesn't mean she still doesn't love you with same intensity as before."

Addison smiled gratefully and got out of the chair, "Richard you'll never know what it means to have your support during this time. I really need it."

Richard took her into a hug and kissed her on the forehead, "Be safe and take care of my grandchild."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Derek sat across from Meredith with a look of fear. He had felt better after his talk with Miranda but he was still fearful of hurting Meredith.

But as Derek looked into her eyes, he realized that he had never been surer of anything in his life. What he felt for Meredith wasn't the forever love type and the type he had to want her to be his wife. He didn't know how she would take it and he was worried she would self-destruct again.

Meredith on the other hand had been a sense of emotional heartbreak on the horizon as soon as she heard the foreboding, "We need to talk."

Meredith decided to cut him off at the pass, "Be honest with me, what's going on? You have been acting all mysterious since you signed the divorce papers, actually it was before that it had something to do with the fact that you and Sloan almost got into a knock-down drag out fight after the two of you talked, what did he say to you?"

Derek nodded he was glad she had given him a way into discuss what was on his mind, "Mark told me the truth of how the affair between Mark and Addison started."

Meredith leaned forward in confusion, "There was an affair? I thought it was only that one night, but anyway what does it matter? You are divorced now so there's no reason for you to still focus on it….Are you grieving?"

Derek nodded, "I'm grieving the loss of myself Meredith and I apologize if what I'm about to say is cruel but I'm also grieving the loss of Addison. I still love her and I don't…"

Meredith shook her head as if to try to deny the words he just spoke, "You came to me and told me that you chose wrong. You told me that you loved me and that we were going to be together and now you've discovered this love for Addison that wasn't there before, what the hell kind of game are you playing here Derek?"

Derek winced at the rage in her voice, "You have every reason to be angry and I don't blame you for hating me right now, I'm hating myself at the moment but I can't change how I feel. I've done you wrong and I'm tired of continuing to hurt you, I need to talk to Addison and I want to get her forgiveness."

Meredith rolled her eyes, "You want the forgiveness of the woman that you divorced? What sense does that make Derek? If she isn't even yours anymore why do you care for the reasons that she had to cheat on you, here I am who has never stopped loving you and you are constantly putting me on the backburner each chance you get to run after her. I'm tired of it Derek, make up your mind right now. Is it me or her?"

Derek closed his eyes at the sight of her face as he opened his eyes again with tears in his eyes, "I choose for Addison, I'm sorry Meredith."

Meredith swore as the tears were running down her cheeks, "Make this the last time we speak Dr. Shepherd. Unless its work I don't want to see or hear your voice, Finn warned me, Cristina warned me hell even Addison apologized to me but I couldn't see past your McDreamy smile to the truth of their words. You have a lot of growing up to do before you'll be worthy of anyone."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Callie leaned against the counter as Mark was finishing another surgery and crossed her arms, "Are we on for tonight or what? I'm in the middle of checking up on a knee replacement surgery but then we can go that is if you're up to it."

Mark smiled at her, "I want to check on Addison first if you don't mind." He expected to hear a whine or exasperated sigh but when she nodded while keeping the smile on her lips he had to admit he was impressed.

"I think I saw her coming out of Richard's office, I had to consult with him on a case that we were handling."

Mark nodded while pulling off his mask and George came up behind them, "Callie, can we speak?"

Callie turned a disinterested eye on George, "Dr. O'Malley how may I help you?"

Mark smiled and touched her shoulder before leaving, "I will catch up with you after I talk to Addison."

Callie smiled in agreement when George turned to her, "I can't believe you. You know what that guy did to the Shepherd's marriage and you have the nerve to talk to him…"

Callie crossed her arms in disbelief, "Last I heard it takes two to tango but what does it matter anyway? Your good friend Meredith was busy screwing Derek Shepherd in the exam room the night of the prom. Look George, I don't want to get into a fight with you why don't you just tell me what you want?"

George reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, "I miss you and it took you not being there for it to hit me that you were the constant in my life…."

Cristina came up behind him and slapped him on the back and said, "911 page from Grey, we got to go."

Callie smirked as George started to follow and then turned back to Callie, "We'll talk later."

Callie shrugged her shoulders, "Why bother? You are obviously more preoccupied with the other women in your life that have nothing to do with me than talking with me about whatever was once so important. Let it go George, I know I have."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Miranda smiled at the look of joy on Addison's face as she showed her the ultrasound picture from this morning.

"The doctor told me that the drugs that I take currently shouldn't affect my pregnancy but I wanted to be sure so I did some checking and everything seems to be in order. Anyway, I just wanted to come by and tell you thanks for all of your help, I'll be taking some time off to adjust to my impending motherhood, possibility of a divorce and where I stand if anywhere with Derek."

Miranda nodded, "You don't have to thank me for anything." They both looked up when they heard a crash and a scream. Miranda looked at Addison as they started towards the commotion. George and Cristina were trying to restrain a hysterical Meredith Grey.

"This is all your fault." The finger was pointed directly at Addison who looked at George and Cristina in confusion.

Addison stepped back in shock and then smirked, "Contrary to whatever Derek has told you or how many times he called me Satan is not really my name and therefore I can't be blamed for your issues Dr. Grey."

Meredith stood up and struggled from the hold that George and Cristina had over her, "It was always you, first it was 11 years of you being his family he couldn't get over and then he comes and tells me that he made a mistake and that he still loves me and that I was the one he should've chosen and I was ecstatic because I thought we would finally be together but no, now he's back to saying he still loves you and that he should've never divorced you."

Addison heard the anguish in Meredith's voice and winced, "I'm sorry Meredith, I really am but I can't be held responsible for Derek's indecisions."

Meredith jerked out of George's hold, "Of course you can't be held responsible, and you're always innocent in everything. You cheat on your husband, your innocent sleeping with Mark who is your husband's best friend and all the meanwhile you still somehow remain innocent and me they portray as the Adulterous whore."

Miranda snapped Meredith's arm to her, "I've had about enough of you Grey, we get that your angry, we get that your hurt but you will not mess up my hospital with your soap opera dramatics."

Meredith laughed tonelessly, "But that's what Dr. Montgomery is infamous for, she was always causing scenes."

Addison closed her eyes and touched Miranda on the shoulder, "I'm out of here I don't have to hear this."

Meredith started out of Miranda's grasp and reached for Addison and said "We are not finished here."

Mark came up behind Meredith and removed her hand from touching Addison, "I beg to differ dirty mistress you are more than done here." He shuffled her out of the room with George and Cristina on his heels.

Addison placed a hand on her heart and leaned against the counter as Derek came running on the scene. He looked at her in concern as she swayed and then placed a shaky hand on the counter.

"Are you okay?" Derek smiled at her disconcertedly at the sight of her unsteadily holding on to the counter.

Addison leaned forward at his worried smile to speak when the events of the last hours overloaded on her and she pitched forward and vomited on his shoes. Derek grimaced but then reached up to hold her steady and then without warning she became a dead weight in his hands as she fainted in his arms.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Sit."

Mark shoved a cup of black coffee under her nose as her friends hovered worried outside the door where Mark told him that they were to stay until he cleared them to come in.

"So dirty mistress, you want to tell me what that scene was all about?"

Meredith winced as she sipped the cup of coffee, "Did I make a sufficient fool of myself in front of the hospital staff? I went to get a drink at lunch and I guess it turned into two and then five…I wasn't going to operate on a patient, I just wanted…"

Mark shook his head, "I'm not the one you need to worry about, and I just want to know what happened."

Meredith shook her head, "Derek broke up with me, he said he was still in love with Addison and I took it too hard. I had broken up with the one good guy in my life for him and was chasing after an impossible dream and he let me. I guess, it just got to me that after all this time he still has the ability to break me, it pissed me off… and then there she was so perfect, so put together as if nothing had happened."

Mark exhaled softly and shook his head, "That son of a bitch did it anyway didn't he? I warned him to leave her alone but he wouldn't listen. He had to try again."

Meredith sat up, "Wait you know what this is all about?"

Mark nodded, "Listen, Addison isn't to blame for this Derek is."

Meredith closed her eyes as she sipped the coffee, "Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I know that she's been a victim of Derek's just as much as I was? I just don't know how to channel my anger properly."

Mark smiled softly, "Well then your going to need to take a deep breath for what I'm about to tell you. I don't feel like I'm breaking a confidence here because this is something that can't be hidden and pretty soon you are going to be a witness to it as well."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she sipped her coffee and said, "Derek broke up with me because he still loves his divorced ex-wife Addison. What can be worse that that?"

Mark grimaced and said, "The fact that she's not his ex?"

Meredith gaped at him in shock and then closed her mouth, "It makes sense now. I was wondering what they were yelling about in the locker room because it sounded pretty heated but I never guessed…What happened?"

Mark sat down and scowled as he said, "He didn't sign the divorce papers. When Derek came looking for her in the locker room it was to tell her that he hadn't signed the divorce papers and that he wanted a second chance, it coincidentally happened to be the same time that Addison was finding out from her lawyer that the divorce papers couldn't be filed."

Meredith closed her eyes in anger and spoke tonelessly, "He did it again. He made me believe that I was important to him and that I had a place in his life. A place that he had tried to fill with his wife but found she was even lacking against me or so he said. But now, you tell me that he couldn't even sign the divorce papers because he's an….."

Mark interrupted her and said, "He's an ass. And it doesn't excuse him but I'm actually glad that he didn't sign the divorce papers and you will be too once you find out what I'm about to tell you. Addison is pregnant with Derek's baby Meredith and that's something that you and I as dirty mistresses can't fight against. We need to accept defeat."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Miranda was working busily over Addison while Derek leaned against the door frantic with worry. Miranda turned back to him with a laugh, "You might want to change your clothes it doesn't bode well for the chief of neurosurgery to be wearing vomit on his scrubs. Plus, I can smell you all the way from over here and you are nothing close to your McDreamy nickname, more like McStinky."

Derek rolled his eyes at her, "My wife is currently passed out and you seem fairly tranquil about that fact. She passed out Miranda, if I hadn't been there…."

Miranda smirked, "If you hadn't been there, I would've picked her up from the floor and carried her into the next exam room until the dizziness passed and checked her sugar levels. She's probably weak from all the stress she's been under lately. Hint as to who I blame for that fact."

Derek winced, "If you were going for subtlety then you definitely lost that contest. What am I supposed to do? Go change my scrubs and pretend like nothing happened? Like this explosion isn't my fault."

Miranda nodded, "That's exactly what I want you to do, and I'll call you when there's a change in her condition. You don't do her any good by hovering over her bed until she wakes up."

Derek nodded as he realized fighting with Miranda would be useless and shuffled out of the room. Miranda locked the door behind her and leaned against the door, "Okay Addison, he's gone."

Addison cracked an eye open at her and said "How did you know I was faking? I thought I was doing a good job of being the sleeping damsel in all of this while you beat my husband up, which I really liked by the way."

Miranda rolled her neck, "I have a husband and a son at home that I need to be with and I don't have time to worry about you, so when he comes back in here you are going to talk with him. You are going to tell him how hurt you were that he didn't try and work it out, you are going to tell him how badly you want this marriage to work and how excited you are that you are carrying his child. You will also tell him that you are in the middle of a flare-up from your disease so he can't be wishy-washy with what he wants in regards to you. Stand up for yourself, I once told you that no man not Derek or Mark can define you, you are Addison Forbes-Montgomery and you need to start acting like it."

Addison felt the tears come to her eyes as she held out her hand, "Thanks for the pep talk Miranda I needed it. I feel so weak when I'm next to him so thanks for beating me up, I needed it."

Miranda nodded and then pulled back and spoke gruffly, "Now I have to go beat up the interns who dared to get drunk on my watch."

As she was leaving Mark was coming in the door but Miranda held his arm, "She's resting, come back later."

Mark shrugged off her arm, "I just wanted to say goodnight, I'm leaving with Callie but if she's sleeping…"

Miranda nodded and opened up the door to see Addison playing the part of sleeping beauty to a T. She let Mark see her who came in the room and left a chaste kiss on her forehead and then left the room following Miranda.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Let me know your thoughts and if you can't tell by now, I love the Bailey/Addison friendship and just wished they would've explored it more on the show! I'm working towards bringing Callie into the mix but she's still a little gunshy about men after George and Mark is so damned sexy, she's not thinking straight at the moment, but I promise that she'll be along soon..:)