A/N: Here's another update, please let me know your thoughts!

Mark slid out of the side of the bed and reached for his pants and started to fasten them. With his back to Callie he could hear her moving around on the bed and when the sheet was removed from under him he did glance back only to see her wrapped in the sheet and heading into the bathroom and closing the door.

Mark didn't want to admit that it hurt, it hurt that he was playing the game of being the one that was pulling away and Callie was seeing through his mess and trumping him with one better, indifference.

Mark cleared his throat, "Callie?"

The door opened to the bathroom but the only signal that she had heard him was a grunt coming from her. He started towards the bathroom but then changed his mind, "I'm going to head back to my room it's getting late."

He braced himself for the whining and the begging but it didn't happen just a simple okay as she came out of the bathroom dressed in bras and panties. He would never admit it to anyone but himself but he had gotten bored of the stick figure women that defined in society what the standard of beautiful was. The moment that he saw her with her healthy cheeks, bright eyes and smiling face he had been enchanted and he was having a hard time pulling away.

Callie met his eyes with a question, "Was there something else you needed Mark?"

Mark shrugged, "What are your plans? I'm just curious as I don't know what you think about anything. You've been quiet since dinner."

Callie sat on the edge of the bed and motioned for him to sit next to her, "I just got out of a bad relationship, you are trying to decide what your feelings are for the woman who you claim is the love of your life. There are too many things up in the air for us to make a decision. Your first course of action should be finding out what it is you want, we can continue to sleep together and even be cordial at the hospital but I need to start pulling back…"

Mark looked at her in shock, "Pull back why? I don't understand."

Callie laughed shortly, "You just told me tonight that you were in love with Addison and that she was the love of your life, you came home and made love to me as if nothing happened."

Mark nodded in understanding, "What are you going to do in the meantime?"

Callie smiled, "I'm going to find an apartment, and this hotel as you know was never a permanent thing but now that I'm getting back on my feet, I need to expand my wings and look for someplace to live."

She leaned over and brushed a soft kiss over his lips, "Be well Mark, I hope you can be with all of your emotions running around."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Derek had been noticeably quiet since the appetizers were left on the plates in front of them. Addison for her part was determined to ignore his bad mood and instead enjoy the food.

"Am I the only one salivating at the smell of these pan-fried wontons?"

When Derek didn't answer Addison picked up her fork and spooned two on her plate along with the sauce that was on the plate. She picked up her knife and fork and after cutting a portion started chewing.

As she was moaning in ecstasy, she noticed a change in Derek's mood. He started fidgeting in his chair, "Are you going to tell me what's wrong with you now or do I have to guess?"

Derek met her eyes, "Why don't you want to spend this time off with me?"

Addison put down her fork, "A week ago you slept with Meredith at the prom, you left her panties in your suit jacket for me to find whether it was intentional or not. You then tell me that you want a divorce but you don't tell me directly you run to Meredith first to let her know that you made the wrong choice in deciding to be with your wife. All of these things were difficult for me to take; I spent many a day crying in the supply closet. But then suddenly Mark, the guy I cheated with comes to you with the whole story and you've suddenly decided to do a 360 on me. I'm now the love of your life again, everything you had with Meredith was a mistake and you are just trying to get back on your feet. In the meantime, I have a lupus flare-up and find out I'm pregnant. See how inevitably you are at the center of all these things that are happening to me and how it would be possible that I would need a breather?"

Derek felt ashamed and looked down, "Don't you see why this is the reason that I want to spend this time with you? To make up for the mistakes of the past and I can't do that if we are apart. I need to demonstrate to you how repentant I am and I can't do that without you by my side."

Addison rolled her eyes, "The only way I can even fathom beginning to forgive you is if I'm apart from you. You have this pull over me where I can't think straight and I won't deny that for years it kept me in the dark about the fact that you too were imperfect. Whenever I'm with you I only focus on my defects and my insecurities, maybe that's why I was such an easy target for Mark, I don't know. What I do know is that my heart is not ready to let you back in and you need to respect that, do you understand? You did a good job of pushing me out on all your own."

Derek crossed his arms, "So what do I do? Sit here and wait for you to realize that I'm a big screw-up and you should've never agreed to give me another chance?"

Addison turned her attention back to her food, "I'm not going to discuss this with you. Not when you're like this, turning all of on your own anger on me. It's not healthy for you or me to fight this out in the middle of dinner; if you like we can continue this conversation somewhere else."

Derek leaned forward and angrily speared a wonton onto his fork and began chewing. As he rewound the tape of his past sins against his wife he cursed himself for being so selfish. Of course she would need time away from him, he sometimes needed time away from himself, he looked at her and spoke thoughtfully, "You're right, I'm a jerk and I haven't been thinking about you. I realize that my mistakes have cost you more than once so this guy the one you see in front of you? He is going to learn the art of patience even if it costs him some time."

Addison smiled gratefully, "I got a call from Miranda warning me to not fall under the trap of your smile so soon, she warned me I had to make you pay before I took you back and that it should take awhile."

Derek laughed shortly, "She sure knows how to make enemies with the men in your life, doesn't she?"

Addison shook her head as she reached for the last wonton and the plate and began to devour it hungrily, "She makes the best of friends, and protectors as they go, I don't know what I would've done without her these last couple of days. She's been my rock and tomorrow I can move out of her house and into the apartment of my choice."

Derek raised an eyebrow at that, "I thought you were still at the hotel."

Addison laughed, "No Miranda told me that I would be too close to people mainly men who were turning my life upside down. You and Mark she meant."

Derek grimaced at that, "Is Mark still bothering you? I thought he said he was dating the ortho surgeon, Torres is it?"

Addison shrugged, "His idea of dating as you know is a no-strings sexual relationship and I don't think that's what Callie had in store when she met him. Speaking of Callie, we have plans to meet tomorrow to shop for apartments."

Derek leaned forward, "I still don't like the fact that he's hanging around, I will always be grateful to him for getting my head out of my butt but I don't appreciate the fact that for his guilt that I almost didn't have a chance to make up for my error."

Addison started to respond but decided better against the fact and to keep her mouth shut as the food arrived.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Meredith heard the phone ring and yelled to George to get it but she didn't hear a response. She swore he must be sleep so she reached for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Meredith, this is Dr. Webber I wanted if I could have a few minutes of your time."

Meredith swore to herself, "Look Dr. Webber, I know what you're going to say and I do apologize for the scandal I caused in the hospital today, in my defense…."

Richard cut her off, "In your defense, you were in love. You were in love and you didn't fully understand the risks of hurting innocent people right?"

Meredith closed her eyes and resisted the urge to snap, "I guess you do know all about that don't you. I'm sorry I don't have any right to yell at you, this is my issue and I will deal with it."

Richard smiled to himself, "There are a lot of qualities that I see in you I see that were in your mother. She was a wonderful woman and I couldn't hurt her the way that Derek is doing with you. Meredith, I'm sure you don't want to hear this but Derek comes with a lot of baggage, baggage that he had before he knew you. Baggage that he doesn't know how to handle properly; it's the disadvantage of being blinded by a beautiful woman with a listening ear."

Meredith felt tears come to her eyes, "I don't know how I'm supposed to go on from here. I was so invested in everything Derek for so long that now that he's not here I don't know how to move forward in my life without him. What do I say when I see him in the hospital? In the hallways? When he's smiling with joy at the sight of his wife and their baby?"

Richard closed his eyes as he listened to the halting emotion in her voice, "Meredith, this is and never was supposed to be easy. Growing up and moving on isn't easy but I promise you it gets better and someday in the future you will be able to look up and it will hurt a little less and you will smile at something one day that a couple of weeks ago would still make you cry. You learn to deal and this coming from the person who caused your mother so much hurt in the past may seem like a joke but it's the truth. You will get over this because you are better than letting heartbreak stop you from living your life."

Meredith started to cry softly as she said, "Thank you." She hung up the phone and curled into a ball in the middle of her sofa and let the trauma of the last couple of hours wash over her and she sobbed herself to sleep.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It was late when Addison got back to Miranda's house. She slipped in the back to her guestroom and sat down on the bed remembering the rest of the conversation that she had with Derek after dinner.

Flashback

Derek sat across the table staring at his wife in the moonlight and felt internal anger at himself for the sins he had committed against her, "I'm so sorry Addi."

Addison looked at him in question, "What are you sorry for?"

Derek leaned forward and took her hand, "I took you for granted when I should've been taking the time to cherish the woman I had by my side. I let my career become first and foremost in my life and didn't pay attention to the woman who was falling apart at my side."

Addison let his hand go, "I don't want to revisit the past not tonight, not when everything has been going so well for us. Let's talk about this subject another time."

Derek nodded, "I just don't want you to ever forget that the mistakes of the past have and are helping me grow. I don't want you to ever feel that you can't call me or come to me about anything; I'm here for you always. Even though I never gave you the proper respect or place in my life, I'm determined to rectify my errors. I'm trying Addi for real this time, I don't want you to forget that."

End of Flashback

Addison reached for her cell phone and dialed the number she knew by heart, she felt her heart skip a beat as she waited for the voicemail to pick up. She was actually hoping the voicemail would pick up so she could pour out the thoughts of her heart without anyone on the line.

She was startled when she received a "Yea."

Addison felt the blush come to her face and she chided herself for the feeling of being like a teenager and nervous like she was talking to her first boyfriend.

"I just wanted to say thank you for dinner, I had a really nice time."

Derek sat up in bed picturing Addison twirling a piece of hair around her finger, "What's wrong? Can't sleep Addi?"

Addison leaned back on the bed with the cell phone clutched in her hand as if was the only link she still had to him, "I forgot how much you know me and how it always used to unnerve me, I miss that feeling. Yea, I just got back to my room and I realized how much I missed you and our trailer and yes that's crazy considering my husband is now officially a flannel-wearing, wood-chopping fisherman but I still love you and I guess what I wanted to say was that I love you and I just wanted to hear your voice and I guess I'm happy we are trying to be married again."

Derek leaned against the pillows in the trailer mesmerized by the sound of her rambling, "I love you too and now the trailer feels lonely without you, I miss your presence, I miss you and I guess I'm sitting here sulking, I came dangerously close to losing you yet and it's not over yet…I'm scared Addi for the first time in a long time in my life, I'm stuck at a crossroads and on one road I could lose you and our baby and the other road I could have what I've, what we've always dreamed of which was a life together. We were that couple that everyone envied and I can't wait to the day until we can be that again but I know I have a lot to repent for before you allow me back into your heart."

Addison felt the tears come to her eyes, "Don't you think I wish that I could be that couple again? We came really close to losing it all and I don't know if I can ever trust you with my heart again and that hurts because you were the only one that I could trust on not to hurt me…."

Derek winced, "And that's the only thing I did. God, I'm so sorry Addi. I want to promise you that it won't ever happen again but I know I'm imperfect and there's gong to be a lot of crying, slamming doors and tears before we are back to where we were before but that's the only thing I'm focusing on at the moment, getting back to where we were. I hate to sound like the cliché from a movie but, failure is not an option."

Addison smiled as she cradled the phone in her hand, "Your child and I are up for the fight…Derek, I…"

Derek listened for a moment but then heard her just breathing, "Don't talk Addison, just let me hear you breath…I know I sound hypocritical but I've been to the edge of losing it all and without you it's scary. It's like trying to walk through a maze blindfolded. You've always told me the truth even when I didn't want to hear it and I'm sorry for not recognizing who and what you are to me before but now that I'm allowed to be in your presence, I promise that we will never get to that place again….Addi, I love you."

Derek was waiting on bated breath for a sound that indicated that she had heard his loving plea and responded in kind but was only meet with the gentle sound of her breathing and occasional snore…. "Sleep Addison and know that I will be with you even though I'm not by your side, watching over you and loving you."

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