I'm begging him not to leave, tey he seems unphased. I'm pulling onto his clothing, yet he resists. I don't think I've ever been this scared about his threats in departure. His growl; it doesn't affect me. I'm crying, but I still remain strong all at once, for I will not lose him. I will not let him go.
"Stop it!"
I scream,
The tears from my eyes cease to hold themselves back. They needed to be freed. And granting them that moment's peace- well...that was indeed my first mistake. They came to glisten from my eyes and downward from my cheeks, only to give more moisture to my undead porcelain complected face. He wasn't backing down from the decision I feared he would make as I cautiously proceeded toward him and let my shaken fingers coil themselves around the deep red fabric of his large leather coat. Unfortunately, deflecting my attempt in touching him for the last time was shatter as a large arm was raised, knocking me to the tilling of the floor. My vision flickered for a moment, I had hit my head pretty hard.
"Stop this...please. I'm begging. My heart cannot take another --"
"Then it won't have to."
He inflicts me with a wound of cruelty. Giving him more reason to depart from my world. My..world. Only precious and meaningful if I am at his side, a loyal servant. How clever, I must admit.
Comming to my senses, I now stand on both feet, trying to hold back more crimson tears from making their way. That...was another battle all on its own.
I had to keep adding more fuel to his fire, metaphorically speaking. It's how I'd win. Trap him, giving him no real reason leave me other than it was all because of the fact that maybe...just maybe he felt the same way I did. Because the truth was...I needed him. My mentor, my teacher, my master...a lover. Without him at my side, I would have no reason to carry on withing this twisted never ending soap opera I called an undead after life. And for that reason alone, I knew things couldn't end like this.
"Master..."
He's turning away...trying to kill off the vision of my heart broken features. Perhaps unable to bare such a thing. And so I stood there. It wasn't a surprise to me, his reaction that is. Always he had been the stubborn type.
So I guess this was it. he was leaving. And all I could do was stand there and watch it happen. Watch him waltz out of the crypt's door with that grewsome careless expression.
Only then had I decided to confess for the first time in my undead life of how I felt.
"I..."
Is started slow,
"I..."
I..couldn't do it.
"I-I ...Master I love you!"
It just...came out. Even I was surprised. Infact, perhaps more than he. But that assumption quickly differed as soon as I noticed his footing had completely froze. His broad build just lingered. It was almost too frightening.
"What...?"
The questioning came as a low growl. The way his tone mingled with the one simple word had made it seem almost as if he misunderstood me. So I said it once more.
"I..said I love you..."
"Ridiculous."
He snorted,
"No!"
I shouted,
"Iss' not!"
My english accent. At times I completely detested it. Never when angery or hurt could I be taken half as seriously as I wished to be. Which just meant I had to probe deeper.
"This whole ordeal is ridiculous. You were better off dead as I saw you first."
It hurt. That I will not lie about. My whole body felt numb, yet somehow I felt sick, and a pain in my chest that wouldn't stop itself from throbbing.
Behaps after a moment or two of the of us standing about, not doing much of anything, a rough shuffle caught the attention of my demonic ears. He began slowly heading for the stairs to lead out and into the grave yard. I wouldn't- I couldn't stand for it! He was not leaving me! No- I wouldn't allow him to turn a blind eye to my confession. I wanted something! A word. A phrase. A gesture! Anything besides the cold chill of his torturing silence!
I only wish I could have seen the expression upon his dangerous face just as soon as my arms made contact, and link themselved around his wide waist, hugging ever so tightly. I embraced him without care. Not planning an option as to 'what if he kills me? What if he does something uncalled for?" No. Because then and there, nothing mattered to me. Nothing except being near him.
"Bastard!"
I hissed,
"I said I love you! My heart is yours to hold within your cold hands, hopefully soon to bring you warmth! So much...it hurts. And yet..."
I felt myself slipping from conciousness.
"...why can't you accept it? You're the only one I wish to be with. Not even if I 'ad the chance to bring Shamus back into my life would I do without loving you first 'and(hand). Take me as more than just a servant. I want you be yours...owned by you in more ways than one. Jus'...please...turn around and..don't leave me alone..."
I felt empty for words, but I knew I couldn't stop there. I had to prove myself to him. And though he said nothing of the sort. I felt as though it was implied. But as much as I tried to think of what else to say, the more my words grew farther and farther apart. And so...as a last resort I spat it plain and simple.
"I jus'...I love you. Master--...Alucard."
And with that, I gave up, not carring.
My forehead sunk into the frame of his back. My sking felt the awkward collision of the red musty red fabric of his coat as I began to sob, soon to break into a weak coughing.
He just had to give in at this point. Or at least have something to say. I had confessed my whole entire body and soul to him; my love; my...innocence to be his for the taking if that was so what he desires.
Suddenly, I felt him give way. For it felt as if his muscles were preparing to tense up. I then let go of him, only to be starring up at him seconds later. I then felt eyes upon me. They were his and I felt unworthy because of it. I felt dirty and cheap. Almost as if I didn't belong within his presence. And because of this, I once again began to shed tears of crimson.
"This foolish emotion..."
I then heard him bellow,
"...love. So meaningless and unworthy of all its hipe. So seemingly insignificant..."
Taking a deep pause, he reached a long arm forth to cup ching chin so that I would look at him. The fabric of his gloved fingers sent an extatic chill coursing throughout my entire spine. I soon found myself locked with a stare of two red seductful eyes.
"So how is it that I fall victim..."
He continued,
"to this...so seemingly insignificant emotion. Quite frankly I never thought possible."
His fingers rose my chin further upward. And befoer I knew it, my eyes were adrift to be shut, lips sinking into his. It came to me as a surprise, his lips were so warm and comforting. I couldn't stop myself from pressing firmly with slight aggression.
I enclosed myself into him frame, both hands were now raised to carress either side of his face, pulling him deeper into the kiss we continued to share.
After a few head moments of indulgence, I had been the one to break apart our lips frmo being within contact. But for some reason, I had unleashed soemthing within him. It was as if he didn't want to stop. For he kept urging forward, pulling me inward by the waist, against him firmly. I wanted it...
Looking down at me now I could see the lust that over came and consumed his entire expression. I understood on account of I yearned for the same. The lust we held and shared were indeed equivalent. And as he took my lips into his once again, they trembled. Infact, my whole body was trembling. A pain soon nested itself withing the lower area of my loins. I tugged and teased fiercely.
Smirking, he tore away from my lips and with a faint chuckle he said,
"I understand."
A hand was soon placed upon the side of my neck, his fingers grazing over the bite mark he had given me nearly four years ago. I tossed my head to the right, locks of straw-berry blonde hair falling to rest along side, leaving that side of my neck bare. Pleasing him to say the least. This I knew.
An awkward moment I must say...I pressed forth a brief laughter before it became too uncomfortable. Questioning this, I replied with letting him know that we hadn't moved an inch since I grabbed hold of his coat. He thought it comcocale as well.
Displaying a smug grin, my master stepped closer, suggesting we continue our 'play' else where.
"Continue...?"
I question,
He nodded, the flat of his gloved palm pressing firmly against my upper chest, mere inches below the center of my collar bone, only then to tamper along my bosom. I was then filled with...what humans like to call --the butterflies.
"But of course,"
He begins,
"Surely you wish to continue."
I saw what he was getting at. I was nervous...Perhaps even afraid.
I nodded, lowering my head, but like before, my vision had been raised by the gloved fingers of my mentor; the one I loved so dearly. His gloved palm caught my chin once again, forving me into yet another kiss. The only difference this time was, it felt more cunning.
The more time had passed us, the more intense I found our situation had become. For now I found myself atop a braodly constructed coffin with barely anything to cover my body with. Suddenly, I felt embarrassed. I couldn't even look into his eyes for more than a split second.
He studdied me. That I was sure of. I could feel his eyes scanning over my entire appearance. And again, just like before. The feeling came again. I felt dirty; cheap.
"What's wrong?"
He demands.
And again, I am afraid. He knew something had been bothering me. From the moment we began this. The feeling was eating at me aside from the excitement I had been feeling as well.
I tampered with myself, debating on whether to speak up or not. But I knew the only result in doing so would be only to anger him. And so I spoke up,
"Unworthy..."
I mutter,
"I feel so...unworthy of you. Your touch."
"Then why yearn it.?"
He demands,
But...how right he is. The thought then occurred to me. Why bother yearning for something you know you cannot have unless there was some hope for it in the first place?
And so I cross my arms to cover my rchest being revealed only to have his hands locked within mine and pulled down to my sides. A sinister grin could have been seen at that moment as well. This grin had always been the peak of my intruigue. What happense next is upto him.
