A/N: Don't worry about Angtsy Addek, they'll be happy in the end. I always make sure that my Addek
stories are happy in the end (even if I throw in a little drama/angst to shake up the mix).

Chapter 20
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"So?"

Derek nodded, "So? So we have just purchased our first house since Manhattan. How do you feel about it?"

Addison laughed, "I was shocked when you told the woman we would buy it. She seemed like she didn't believe it."

Derek pulled her into his arms as they walked hand in hind into the trailer, "I just looked at your face while you were surveying the house and I knew that we didn't need to look any further. Did I ever tell you that's just one of the qualities that I always loved about you? Your face and I'm not just talking about how expressive you can be because you are expressive but I'm talking about how I can always look into your eyes and know the truth whether I want it or not, it's one of the things that I loved about you."

Addison leaned her head against his chest and said "It feels like it's really happening like you and I are finally coming together."

Derek nodded and smiled, "We were always together now we are just making it official to everyone else. The whole world needs to know that we are back together for good now."

He leaned into kiss her when she jumped back and ran into the bedroom. "Derek, I have to call Miranda and Callie. They can come out and celebrate with us tonight."

Derek laughed at her enthusiasm and let her run off to the bedroom while he went to the answering machine and checked their messages. He listened unconcerned to 5 messages about bills and changing long distance and had but all pressed delete when the last message had him pause in shock and disbelief, "This message is for Dr. Shepherd, this is Dr. Revelle, I'm concerned that you didn't schedule an appointment to discuss your latest test results. Please let me know first thing in the morning when you are going to schedule an appointment."
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Addison smiled as she talked to both Callie and Miranda on the phone. "Yes, its lovely you guys will have to come see it. Yes, I'm excited too about it."

Callie laughed and said, "I'm sure we'll love it but you need to get your rest. You know what they say about fatigue and lupus not to mention the fact that you're pregnant."

Addison smiled and said, "I'll take it easy Mom. Listen, I need to go I think I hear Derek tearing up things in the kitchen and since you pointed out that he can't cook I better go see what he's doing before he won't be able to go anywhere."

After hanging up the phone with her friends she walked into the kitchen to see Derek slamming drawers and swearing. "What's your problem? I thought you were in a good mood, was there a message that upset you?"

Derek shot her a glance then walked over to the answering machine and pushed play. Addison's smile fell from her face as she heard the message from Dr. Revelle wanting to discuss her latest test results. She sat down in the chair at the table and closed her eyes.

"Derek, do you really want to talk about this now?"

Derek leaned against the counter, "Talk about what? Our fight a couple of days ago must've not meant anything to you if you are still determined to ignore that you take care of yourself. I want you alive and by my side to enjoy any children we bring into this world, not on death's door because you brought my children into this world."

Addison flinched at the anger in his voice, "I never said that I didn't want to take care of myself. When I went to the doctor to get confirmation that I was pregnant he told me that I was a prime risk for toxemia because of my age, lupus and the fact that on the ultrasound….."

Derek sat down across from her, "The ultrasound showed what Addison? The ultrasound showed what? You certainly didn't tell me that there were any irregularities."

Addison closed her eyes and said, "There's a possibility that I'm carrying twins. The doctor said it was still too early to tell on the ultrasound but he thought he heard two heartbeats. It may just be an echo but we have to wait a couple more months. If it was true then I'm at risk for toxemia because of my age, my disease and the fact that I could be carrying twins."

Derek swore and stood up pacing, "And when were you going to tell me that your life may still be in danger? What were you going to do internalize it and then I had to wait for you to die although being ignorant of the fact that you chose to make this decision without me. Without even telling me, that's not right Addison and you know it!"

Addison closed her eyes as the tears leaked out, "I didn't want to worry you until I knew for sure that I was pregnant with twins. The toxemia isn't even diagnosed yet nor is the fact that I might be pregnant with twins so why should I tell you something when I don't even have confirmation myself that I was going to happen, I just didn't want to worry you. I promise you that I will take every precaution to ensure that I keep to the ob/gyn's orders but until I have a confirmed diagnosis then I won't stop living my life or pretending that these children are a burden."

Derek walked towards her and said, "Then what if I stop living my life with you? I'll walk away from you unless you go to the doctor and ensure that you aren't in any danger. Addison the love that I have for you knows no bounds and the fact that you are nonchalant about your place in my life just makes me hate myself even more. I need you to understand your importance in my life and how important it is that you not forsake your health just so we can have children. I don't want you like that; I never wanted you to feel that I would put any child of ours in front of our health."
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Mark was pulling off his scrubs and pulling on his jeans when she entered the locker room. He swore to himself as he felt her enter the room and the question plagued him, why was it that he wasn't even weeks into this relationship and already he knew her presence without even having to see her. He knew it was her because he was now attuned to her body.

Callie smirked as she walked up to the locker next to him and said, "I was hoping to catch you in here."

Mark smiled as he closed his door shut and turned to her, "Are you ready to go?"

Callie crossed her arms and said, "You really think after everything you put me through today we can just leave home together and everything will be okay? Did you forget what happened just before lunch?"

Mark sat down on the bench across from him, "What do you want from me Callie? I'm trying really hard here and I need you to meet me halfway."

Callie looked at him in shock, "You are trying to what Mark? You are trying to what? We've had a good couple of days, some great times together but I need to know where we stand. I could really fall for you, hell what am I saying? I'm already falling for you but you keep sending me mixed signals and I don't know where we are going. One moment we are together and then your asking out Meredith and then the next moment I was going to lunch with George and you start throwing me a jealous fit."

Mark leaned back and said, "I'm sorry that I've been leading you on."

Callie laughed, "I've been leading myself on so there's no reason to apologize. I guess we can call it an end here and now right?"

Mark stood up and pulled her in his arms, "I don't want to call an end to us, can't we just go back to the way it was we just woke up in each other's arms and there was no emotional involvement? I don't want to lose you, now when I just found you. God, when I came here I swore that I would fight for Addison until the end and then I met you and everything in my life was turned up on its ear. You came in when I wasn't looking and you messed with my mind and I don't know how to let you go."

Callie felt the tears come to her eyes, "Then make a choice Mark to not let me go. It's either me or nothing; I could want to be with you for the rest of my life but only if I'm the only one in your life and I want you to be sure of that fact too."

She pulled back and looked back at him as she closed the door, "I'll be waiting Mark. Either way I'll be waiting, don't keep me waiting too long."
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Next Morning

It had been eerily quiet at the Shepherd household as both worked together in silence towards a common goal, packing all of their belongings to move into their new home. Derek had refused to even discuss their fight of last night, instead choosing to focus on what he was happy about which was moving into a new house with his wife. Addison on the other hand was sulking in between packing boxes. The majority of her items were already packed and just had to be moved out of storage and into the new location. She tried to engage Derek in conversation on various occasions but he would shut her down. She had finally given up and ensured that they stayed on separate ends of the trailer with, which its space was difficult to accomplish.

"Derek?"

Derek stopped packing and looked up at her with a question as she struggled to describe what she wanted to say so he looked down and away from her. "Derek?"

He looked up again and exhaled sharply and sat down on the edge of the couch and motioned for her to sit down which she did and turned to him with an apology in her eye. "I love you Derek."

Derek nodded and stood up and said, "Addison, I love you and that's why this is hard for me. If your life is indeed in danger, the last thing I want is for you to risk it anymore with our children. Does that mean I don't want our children? No, it means I want my wife in one piece to enjoy the birth of our children, it means I don't want to be a widowed husband trying to raise our children on my own."

Addison smirked softly and said, "I don't think we have a problem determining whether we love each other or not. What is tearing us apart now happens to be something that's important to me and irrational as it sounds the idea of not being able to give you a child makes me feel unworthy of you…."

Derek walked over and started to put a finger on her lips which Addison stepped back from and said, "Derek, I know that you and I are both guilty of abandoning our marriage, whether it be at different points or not, we abandoned the marriage and after I got my emotional stability back, I came to realize that. The love that you and I have for each other is not something that we can encounter everyday and it would just be multiplied if we had a child together. The possibility, because that is all it is at this moment is a possibility that we can't do that together makes me feel like more of a failure than I already feel. I did so many things wrong in our marriage and this is a chance for me to show you how happy I am that we are giving us another try."

Derek exhaled and pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly on the forehead and said, "I'm afraid and I don't know how to stop being afraid. When I got with Meredith it was because it was easy. She didn't come with complications; she didn't come with history like I have with you. I think at one point I realized that complications or not, you were the love of my life and I decided to give us another try. Another try that I asked for which admittedly I half-assed gave nothing to. I don't know how to even begin to apologize for that but I know I need to. When Mark came to me and shoved a mirror in my face by way of telling me the truth of how I abandoned you, I had to take a moment and realize that I was just as guilty if not more of everything that happened in our marriage. That was not an easy pill to swallow as it was on the eve of signing divorce papers to the woman who I've shared the majority of my life with. The few seconds before you told me you were pregnant, were the happiest of my life and it's selfish but there it is. The idea that I was finally going to get the chance to fix Derek and Addison was something I always wanted and it was going to give me a chance to finally pay you back for all the hurt and devastation I once caused you. When I found out you were pregnant, don't get me wrong I was ecstatic but the fear came back because I was afraid we had another barrier in between us from becoming the couple we once were and now finding out that your life may be in danger if you carry these children to term just makes me feel more like an ass."

Addison felt the tears start to fall as she held onto him tightly and said, "Why can't we do both Derek? Why can't we fix Derek and Addison and be happy about the chance to become parents together?"

Derek pulled back and said, "Because I'm afraid that being happy about the chance to become parents equals being happy that my wife's life is in danger and that's something I can't do. I'm sorry Addison."

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At the Hospital

Callie had come into her shift early partly to encounter Miranda and talk about Addison's new house and her latest blow out with Mark and then to discuss strategies on how she could start avoiding Mark for the rest of the day which really was a bad idea considering he was the first face she saw after she got her coffee.

"Mark?"

Mark winced and nodded as he sipped his coffee and motioned to a table and offered her a seat. Callie shook her head and put her hands on the edge of the chair and said, "Mark, I can't do this, not if you don't have a decision for me."

Mark smirked and said, "So what now, we can't have a cup of coffee without it turning into a relationship?"

Callie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "So when in doubt always go back to the jackass routine when all else fails and you don't know how to act?"

Mark leaned forward and swore softly, "How much do I hate that you can always see right through me?"

Callie rolled her eyes and sat down, "What did you want to discuss Dr. Sloan?"

Mark leaned back and said, "I don't think that we should have this conversation here, why don't we go out to dinner and discuss this over a bottle of champagne and…."

Callie sent him a smirk similar to the one he had sent her earlier and said, "And then we end up in your hotel room and nothing ever gets resolved?"

Mark shrugged and said, "We could always go to your hotel room."

Callie shook her head in negation, "Sorry no can do seeing as how I moved out and am moving into my own place."

Mark flinched at this and said, "I'm sorry I had no idea you had plans to move out."

Callie nodded sadly and said, "I know which is why I thought we needed to talk but from what I see you are more than happy to continue with our situation with no emotional involvement right?"

Mark closed his eyes and opened them slowly, "When I'm with you, I feel things that I've never felt with any other woman. I feel happiness and I feel complete and it scares the hell out of me so you want to call me immature, fine I'm immature but I'd rather be immature than having my heart out there and risking a chance that it could be broken like Addison's was."

Callie stood up and said, "So that's it for you. You are scared because you saw how Addison was hurt and you don't want to put yourself out there. Well, I just want you to know that you are missing out on what could be a great relationship just because of fear."

Callie leaned over and kissed Mark on the forehead and walked away.

Dude, so prepare yourself because next chapter we get into the last angsty part before I wrap up this story. I finished it last
weekend and with the exception of re-reading my revisions at least 12 times than it should be finished. I also wrote an epilogue
which I thought was pretty cute and it focuses on my favorite trio so keep checking your inboxes for updates near you.