Again, another random story. This isn't my best, actually I'm a horrible writer but anyways ON WITH IT...

We all know that Emmett's find is the dark alley of disgust, right? Well a couple of times we nearly had to hospitalize poor Edward as Rosalie and Emmett's relationship became more… intimate. So we've hired a brave young soldier to solve his issues.

The lanky girl with cropped blonde hair slipped on her unneeded glasses over her emerald eyes. She wore PJ's and sat in an office spinney chair. Across from her sat the bulky vampire we all know and love. Emmett was lying on a long crimson couch toying with his fingers. The room was decorated hardly enough to drive Alice insane. A door and walls was the only thing there besides the seats and millions of beanie babies.

"Hello Emmett, what are you doing here?" The girl asked. Emmett grinned.

"My brothers don't enjoy my behavior." He replied. The girl raised her eyebrows.

"Did they tell you to say this?" She said wryly.

"Maybe…"

"Well, anyway my name his Miss Laura." Laura smiled. "Wanna beanie baby?" Emmett squealed with joy as he jumped into the pile. He swam through it and found the prefect hairy creature. A bear. Then he wrestled it.

"Issues with bears?" Laura muttered. Emmett nodded.

"Yeah one killed me."

"WHAT?!" Laura twitched. "Come here." Emmett held his bear tightly and crawled over. Something crunched in his pouched.

"What's that in your pocket?" The shrink inquired. Emmett lifted it up to show none other than a cookie.

"I was preserving it for the long winters end." Emmett narrowed his eyes.

As on cue Jasper smashed through the couch.

"THAT'S MY COOKIE!" Jasper huffed.

"AFTER YOU COUGHED IT OUT IT WAS MINE!" Emmett cried defensively.

"Oh BRING IT OOOOON!" Jasper yelled his eyes a bottomless pit of black. The two pranced on each other with battle cries. Jasper kicked and Emmett slapped. And of course they weren't even touching each other. Laura backed away to the waiting room to find a beautiful blonde huddle under a blanket.

"Ummm… can I help you?" Laura asked till spooked by the rampaging cookie monsters. The woman looked up in agony.

"It jiggled….." She muttered over and over again.

"Not the best job selection eh Laura?" Laura smacked herself.

As Laura ran out the door she ran faced first into a heavy creature. Laura sighed in frustration. In walked a redhead, her hair was death defying.

"C-can I help you?" The blonde stuttered. The redhead nodded with a smile. Laura walked the lady into the waiting room and sat down.

"Okay what's wrong?" Laura sighed once again.

"Well let's see I keep trying to kill a girl but it's not working out. That really lowers my self esteem. I mean my husband just DIED for Pete's sake!" The redhead sobbed silently.

"Um why don't you try changing your hobby?"

"Oh yes instead of killing her I should get over it?"

"Exactly." Laura grinned for once.

"Hmm, maybe another time." The woman mused. Laura beat her head against the wall.

"Heaven help us all." She mumbled angrily.

A messy hair'd blonde awoke with a squeal. A grin was unknowingly plastered on her face. It was then when her green eyes shifted to the empty Root Beer bottom on her nightstand.

"Oh for the love of god…" She muttered irritated.

FINISHED…? FIN!

Again keep flames to YOURSELF or PM Miku XD Yes the blonde in the blanket was Rosalie and the redhead was Victoria. Poor Laura in this story. But I like tormenting her. Yeah we have these cookie fights just about everyday XD.