A/N: Somehow I got some inspiration, and I ended up writing this. Read, enjoy and please give me some support by leaving a review.

Authentic Emotions

Sometimes, you have to be your own hero.

Seth sat down in his chair with a big sigh, sadly looking over to the empty seat next to him. That seat had been saved for Jordan. But in the last minute, their boss had announced that she needed to stay at the newspaper for a little longer. He'd said that she possibly would come up later, if everything went well.

The job and the getaway Seth had been so excited about at first was ruined. Not only because Jordan wasn't coming and the fact that he would have to work really hard if he wanted her to come at all, but also because of the chosen destination. Providence. That was a place Seth wanted to forget about, or at least keep as a memory of his past life.

It wasn't like they'd parted on bad terms or anything, but it was still painful to relive everything that had occurred in that place. It brought back tough emotions that Seth preferred to try and forget. He didn't even think much about it anymore, only a few times when he spent time with Ryan and went to places he'd been at together with her.

They were both happy now; at least he thought that she was. She'd been when writing the last email to him; she'd met good friends and really liked Brown. And while that was a few years ago and much must have happened during them, he was positive of the fact that she was alright. He wouldn't have let her go otherwise.

Hearing Jordan tell him that the trip would go to Providence had been sort of a shock. He'd never believed that he'd return there, at least not with his girlfriend. Alaska would have been a better place, or maybe even Iraq. Though not Rhode Island and the place where he'd last seen Summer Roberts.

The light breeze caused the dead leaves to move as Seth walked past them, comfortably strutting along the campus. He had both hands in his pockets and was quietly humming a Death Cab song; just like he always did. Most things were as they normally were, but yet many things were so different; not the way they were supposed to be and had been.

Seth had arrived in Providence a few days ago, excited to finally see his girlfriend who he hadn't spent time with for many months. They seldom talked anymore and this distance thing made it extremely hard to work on their relationship. So it was great to finally see her again, even if things weren't like they used to.

He had spent these past months being really worried about her and letting her go. When the time came for her to start at Brown, it had not been easy. Not after seeing her transform to this sad girl, a sad girl who pushed everything about her old self away. Sometimes things felt quite impossible, like there wasn't anything he could do to help her. Marissa had been such a big part of her life that no one could make that hole she left in Summer disappear.

She seemed to be doing relatively good though, considering everything that had happened. Summer wasn't curling up in bed and refusing to talk to anyone. She wasn't crying like she had during the summer. But she wasn't okay yet; she hadn't talked about it. Not even with her boyfriend. A word he wasn't fully sure if he still could call himself. They had drifted apart, and they'd both allowed it. Maybe it was easier that way. Maybe she needed the space and the time alone.

Marissa's death had pretty much messed with everyone's lives, even his own. It wasn't like he was crying every night because he missed her. It was more the people around him who were. They were shutting him out. And they were making it extremely difficult for him to stop it.

Walking into the building Seth silently prayed for Summer to be in her room; back from class. She'd been to a lot of classes the past days, leaving Seth to enjoy himself. He wasn't sure if it was with purpose; if she felt like it was easier to go to class than spend time with her visitor. Though it really didn't matter; Seth wasn't upset. It had been a great opportunity to explore campus and the city. Though now too many days had passed without them talking; a thing he really needed to do.

For once it seemed, Summer was in her room before he got there. She was sitting on her bed cross-legged, flicking through a magazine, not Us Weekly or Cosmo he noticed. She was wearing one of those large shirts she always insisted in having these days, and she had her hair in a loose pony tail. Again, he was surprised of just how much she'd changed from the girl she had been.

"Hi," he said with a wave and sat down in her chair by the desk. Moving some clothes away and placing them on his bag, which stood on the floor, he leaned back.

Summer looked up, uncertainly meeting his gaze and smiling slightly. "Hi, Seth."

"Did you have a good day?"

She nodded, putting the magazine away. "You?"

"It was alright. I kinda want to talk to you though." Seth remained in the chair, even though he would have liked to sit next to her. He tied his hands together, while still looking at her. It felt weird that he wasn't nervous. He felt as if this conversation was something that she maybe wanted as well; that she wouldn't get hurt or not understand.

"So," Summer said and straightened her back. "What do you want to talk about?"

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"Summer, you just have to see the photo of when I was up there. It's so cool." Nathan enthusiastically told her about his adventure in Spain where he'd apparently done even more than parachuting. Chelsea sat at the other end of the sofa with an annoyed face, a thing Summer could see only was because that trip had ended with her fiancée - that she loved more than she'd ever say out loud – in a hospital thousands of miles away from her.

Summer found it sort of adorable how her best friends' relationship worked. They never showed very much affection when they weren't alone, and she smiled and aw-ed every time they held hands or locked eyes. Therefore it had been really difficult when they'd found out about Nathan's accident. Summer had done her best to try and be positive and support her friend, who usually always showed so much strength. It had been heart-breaking to hear them talk on the phone while he still was in the hospital and to see Chelsea wipe a few tears from her cheeks.

Looking over at her best friend, Summer spoke. "Why don't we do that another time, Nate? Someone should take care of this little girl." She motioned to her daughter who lay sprawled over the floor, soundly sleeping. "Mind if I put her in your bed?"

"Of course. Do you need any help?" Summer shook her head and smiled at Chelsea, who in return gave her a thankful look. Moving from the sofa and to the place where Phailin was, Summer carefully scooped the sleeping body up in her arms. Phailin's arms immediately wrapped around her neck and she unconsciously nestled her head into the warmth and security of her mother. "I'll come back in a few minutes. You guys, stay and talk or something."

Standing up, Chelsea embraced the two of them and kissing her goddaughter on the chin. Chelsea Powell adored children, and especially this one. "You know where to find things."

"Yeah,"

"Night, Phailin." Both Nathan and Chelsea fallowed the two as they left the room, a slight sadness in the air. They had seen Summer do the same thing so many times before, always alone. As much as she would deny it, and try not to show it, Summer needed a man in her life; Phailin needed a father.

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Seth lay sprawled over the bed of his hotel room, dressed in a shirt and boxers. He had many times been told by Jordan that he thought a lot, but he'd never actually believed it until now. He did think not think just a lot, he thought too much. And it was really starting to bug him.

How could one visit, that only had lasted a few hours, cause so many memories to return? Seth had over the last couple of years been very good in keeping his memories away, and controlling his mind. Things that at first had been huge reminders, such as a demonstration on the news or someone dying in a car crash, Seth had learnt to ignore. He'd forced his mind to think rationally; told himself over and over again that what happened had been for the best and that they both were happier this way. He had even seen some other guy come and help her deal with her issues, someone less like him. And he'd been okay with that.

For a long time Seth had accepted the present and the past; he'd moved on with his life. But now, he couldn't stop the thoughts running through his head. He wanted Jordan to be there and make him focus on her, and remind him of what his life was like now. He didn't want the past to come back; he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to worry about how she was.

The worst thing though, was that he felt so guilty about thinking of her. He was with Jordan now, he liked being with Jordan. She was the best thing that had happened to him for a long time, and he did not want to hurt her by thinking of another girl. "But it's not like I miss her or anything," Seth said out laud. "And I didn't just say that to reassure myself."

"First, I want you to know that I love you. I've always loved you and I always will." Seth smiled while carefully choosing his next words in his head.

Summer nodded, having a serious look on her face. "I know that, Seth."

"Good. But sometimes love isn't enough, right? Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you love someone…"

A frown appeared onto Summer's forehead as she realized where Seth was taking this conversation. It wasn't as if she was surprised, or having her heart broken. It was just sad, but obviously necessary. She hadn't expected things to continue forever, she'd always known that what she did to Seth wasn't fare.

Giving Seth a reassuring smile, as to let him know that she was okay, she listened as he continued. "I think that what we need right now, both of us, is to find our place. And I don't think we can go on like this…" He motioned between them, hoping that she understood what he was saying.

Summer noticed the hesitation now approaching Seth. "You know, Seth, I think so too. We have been running from it for quite some time now, and I know that I haven't exactly made it easier-"

"Summer, don't-"

She held up a hand as to silence his interruption, before gently speaking again. "Just let me say that I'm sorry for how I've been acting. I know that I have been in denial and I know that I've pushed you away, along with everybody else. It's just that she-" Pausing she closed her eyes quickly, finding it impossible to speak the words.

This was the first time in months that she had mentioned anything about Marissa, or opening up. But Seth could see how difficult it was to her, and knew that this was going to take a really long time for her. He carefully moved from the chair and sat down next to her, taking her hand. The yet so familiar but strange touch made her flinch at first, though she then intertwined their fingers and lay her head down on his shoulder. "Things will be okay again, Sum. I promise."

After a few minutes of silence, Summer resting against Seth while he was savouring their embrace, she spoke. "You're the best boyfriend and friend anyone could ever want, Seth. The last coupled of years with you have been the best in my life." Her voice died out in a whisper, and she slowly reached up to plant a kiss on his lips.

Seth knew that this would be the last kiss they shared, at least for a while. Yet he couldn't let it turn into something else than a gentle peck. "They have for me too."

"Just promise me that we'll still be friends. I need you to stay in my life, Seth."

"I promise. And you know, if you'll ever need anything…"

"I know. Thanks."

Seth stood up, grabbing a few things from the bed. "So, I guess I should call a cab."