Chapter 3: "Zoro's Nightmare"
I don't own One Piece
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NOTE: For those of you unfamiliar with the structure of the Thousand Sunny, the "crow's nest" is like a miniature cabin with a roof, walls, and windows. It is where Zoro sleeps and lifts weights.
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It was a quiet breakfast that morning. Aside from some minor conversation, everyone ate wordlessly. Even Luffy was unusually quiet.
Nami had her head tilted while she ate, her hair covering her eyes.
When everyone was nearly finished, she stood up and raised her head slightly.
"Guys.." she started, gaining the attention of everyone except Zoro, who just continued to chow down his fifth bowl of soup. "I'm..Really sorry about last night.." There was a brief period of silence before she continued. "I don't know what came over Luffy and I..We wrecked dinner and made a huge mess...I'm so sorry about your eyes, Chopper..and..." she trailed off, then said in a lower voice, "All of you had to see...that..." Her face became slightly flushed. After a moment, she looked up at everyone, waiting for their response.
Sanji was looking at Nami sympathetically.
Chopper rubbed his blindfold, wishing he could see.
Robin also had her eyes fixed on the navigator, looking slightly worried.
Luffy glanced around at everyone, trying to look as serious as he could.
Usopp was gazing out the window, not sure what to say.
It was Franky who broke the tension.
"Well...It doesn't really bother me that much.." said Franky. "Everyone discovers love in their own way. That must have been the way the two of you discovered it."
"It wasn't really like that.." Nami said, hesitatingly. "It was weird, almost like I couldn't control my own body..I-"
She was cut off by a loud, humorous grunt, emanating from the mouth of Zoro, who had just finished his seventh bowl of soup. Sanji glared at the swordsman, then motioned for Nami to continue.
"It was like something had taken over my mind and was telling me what to do.." she said. "I've never experienced anything like it before.."
"Hmm..That sounds like love to me." Franky said, closing his eyes and nodding. "But.." he continued, "That WAS pretty extreme...To do it right there in the dining room.."
Nami lowered her head in shame.
No one said anything more, and before long, everyone had finished eating and left the room.
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Evening had finally come along.
Nami leaned against the mast, watching the sun sink below the horizon.
She had decided to skip dinner because of a pain in her stomach that wasn't going away.
They were two days away from the next island, which she hoped was inhabited so she could buy birth control drugs.
She had never planned to lose her virginity, especially while she was still going on adventures with the crew. And she had certainly never expected that it would be with Luffy.
Why had that happened? What had caused her and Luffy to do such a thing all of a sudden?
She closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair, breathing out heavily. It would probably be a while before the crew treated her normally again, even if they said everything was fine.
A gust of wind blew against her and she felt a chill crawl down her spine. She figured it was time to go to sleep. Wrapping her arms across her chest, she headed to her bedroom.
Nami had just placed her hand on the knob of her door when she got a strange feeling. She wanted to turn the knob, but she couldn't. A few seconds went by. She let go of the door knob, and slowly backed up, looking slightly dazed.
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In spite of the prior awkwardness, the dining room was now loud as ever. Sanji was frying up what would be Luffy's twentieth steak that night while uttering words of resentment towards his captain, who hadn't given him enough time to start eating himself since dinner began.
Robin was helping Chopper eat.
Zoro, still angry about being forced to skip dinner, had eaten five times what he normally would have for breakfast and lunch. As a result, he chose to skip dinner that night and go to sleep (although he told the crew this was simply because he was tired).
Usopp and Franky were trying to stuff as much food into their mouths as possible before Luffy devoured everything on the table.
The previous night's events hadn't affected Luffy nearly as much as they had Nami. At the moment, the straw hat captain's only thoughts were on his stomach.
"Sanji! More meat!" he yelled as he stretched his hand across the table, grabbing a piece of food off of Franky's plate.
"Hey!! Keep your hands on your own side of the table!" Franky shouted, unintentionally spitting pieces of chewed food into Robin's unsuspecting face.
"Franky!!" Sanji snapped, "Keep the contents of your mouth IN your mouth!"
"Stop stealing my food, Luffy!" shouted Usopp, who had just had a dumpling snatched right out of his hand.
"SANJI!! MEAT!!"
"Damnit, Luffy! Give me a second!"
"Hey, chef, could you make some more rice as well?"
"More dumplings, too!"
"Shut up! I have my hands full right now!"
"Are you okay, Robin?" Chopper questioned.
"Yes, I'm fine." she replied.
As Luffy was about to grab the final parcel of food off of Franky's plate, Franky managed to slam his metal fist down on the rubber hand, causing Luffy to let out a yelp. This didn't, however, stop the persistant captain from shooting his other arm out and grabbing his prize anyway.
"You greedy bastard!!" Franky roared, throwing his spoon at Luffy's head.
"We've barely been able to get in a mouthful, but you've nearly wolfed down the whole table!" shouted Usopp.
"The steak is ready!" Sanji announced from over the counter, tossing the slab of meat onto the table to be eaten by whoever got his hands on it first.
"MINE!" Luffy yelled, leaping for it.
"Oh no you don't!" proclaimed Franky, who managed to grab on to it just as Luffy did.
"That's right! This one is our's!" exclaimed Usopp, joining Franky's side in the battle of tug-of-war.
The fierce competition of strengths went on for another twenty seconds and just as Luffy was about to win (much to Franky and Usopp's dismay), he unexpectedly let go of his side, causing the tugging cyborg and sharpshooter to tumble backwards, hitting the ground with a thud.
"Huh? What's wrong, Luffy?" Sanji asked, catching a glimpse of Luffy's dazed face.
When the cook received the response of "Ah.." he got a little worried.
Then, suddenly and without warning, Luffy ran across the room and out the door, leaving a surprised crew behind him.
"Hey, you don't think.." muttered Franky.
"They're not going to do it again, are they!?" exclaimed Usopp, his hands on his head.
"Do what again? What? What's going on?" asked Chopper.
"Well, atleast it's not in front of us this time.." said Franky.
"But do you think they bothered to even go into a room?" asked Usopp. "What if they're just doing it right out on deck!?"
"Hm..That wouldn't surprise me considering last night," Franky began, "but it wouldn't do any harm, so.."
"What if they fall overboard!?" exclaimed Usopp. "Last time, they didn't even seem to notice when they came tumbling off the table!"
"Hmm..That's a good point.." said Franky, rubbing his three chins. "Maybe we should quickly check on them."
After everyone agreed, Usopp, Sanji, and Franky went out to find them.
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"I don't get it!" Franky complained. "We've checked all over the deck and in every room but they're no where to be found!"
"Maybe they fell overboard already!" yelled Usopp, leaning over the rail to scan the waters below.
"This is bad.." said Sanji. "Luffy can't swim and I doubt Nami-san would be able to keep him above water.."
"Given the state of mind they're in, they might not even care!" shouted Franky.
At that moment, a godly cry thundered down from the crow's nest.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
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After climbing into the crow's nest and getting situated, it hadn't taken Zoro long to fall asleep.
He had eaten way too much and his stomach had only just settled down after having caused him great pain throughout the better half of the day.
He hadn't been asleep for long when he was woken up by his stomach.
At first, he thought he was just having digestive problems so he tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. Then, after a few moments, he realized that something was ON his stomach. He lazily opened his eyes and raised his kneck a little, trying to determine exactly what had disturbed his sleep. A dark blur was moving around on top of him, making odd, wet noises. He blinked a few times, adjusting his eyes to the dimness of the room.
When the said figure finally came into focus, Zoro lay back down, positive he was having a nightmare.
When it continued to move around on him, he raised his neck again.
On his stomach were two humans - or, rather, two crewmates of his. They were both naked and engaging in what is best described as sexual intercourse.
Yes, Luffy and Nami were in Zoro's sleeping quarters, having sex on his stomach.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Zoro immediately bolted out from underneath them, slamming his back against the wall.
"WHAT THE HELL!?"
Luffy and Nami's clothes were scattered about the room.
Luffy's vest and jeans had been thrown onto Zoro's weight set.
A sock had managed to get tucked nicely into Zoro's boot.
Nami's panties were hanging from the hilt of one of his swords.
And he realized that his hand was touching Luffy's boxers.
He stood up. For a moment, he was motionless. Then, his body started to shake and his face crease as his immediate shock was replaced with an insurmountable, bottomless, rage.
"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!" he exploded, grabbing his nearest sword and unsheathing it.
He lunged at them, and was fully intent on slicing both their bodies in half, when he found himself falling out of the crow's nest after unwittingly tripping over the open hatch.
He landed, hard, on his feet and let out a howl.
He was immediately greeted by Sanji, Usopp, and Franky who had rushed over to determine the cause of all the noise.
"Zoro!? What ha-" Usopp began, but was cut off by Zoro, who leapt towards the ladder while repeatedly yelling,
"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!"
Franky rushed forward, pulling Zoro off the ladder and restraining him as the enraged swordsman shouted curses up at the crow's nest.
"Whoa! Calm down!" Franky tried to yell over Zoro's voice. "What's going on!?"
"LET ME GO, YOU BASTARD!" Zoro ordered, ripping himself from Franky's grip and once again heading for the ladder.
This time, he was met with Sanji's kick, which sent him flying backwards and onto his stomach, where he was pinned to the ground by Franky.
After a few minutes of shouting and cursing, Zoro had finally calmed down enough to explain to them what happened.
"Those bastards..." he huffed, "they've insulted me!"
"Who? Luffy and Nami?" Usopp asked.
"WHO ELSE!?" Zoro bellowed.
"What happened?" asked Franky.
"It all makes sense now!" Zoro proclaimed, ignoring Franky's question. "First last night, and now this! They did everything out of spite for me!"
"What are you talking about, marimo?" asked Sanji, who had finally decided to speak.
"First, they pretended to have sex last night in order to make me miss dinner!" Zoro began.
"What!? That doesn't make any sense! Why would they do that!?" Franky interjected.
"- then, they caused me to eat too much during breakfast and lunch today so I'd have an agonizing stomach ache all afternoon!"
"But that was your own fault!"
"- then, they defiled my equipment and swords with their clothes and lay on top of me while pretending to have sex!"
"They did what!?"
"- and finally, they left the hatch open so I'd fall out! They're probably up there laughing at me right now!"
"What are you talking about!? It's obvious that there's something wrong with them!"
"There's nothing wrong with them! They've just conspired to mock me!"
"What possible reason could they have to do that!?"
"They take pleasure out of dishonoring me!"
"That's not like them at all! Like I said, it's obvious that something is wrong with them!"
Their argument continued for a while longer before Zoro was finally released under the condition that he not kill Luffy and Nami.
"This is all really strange.." said Franky. "Of all places, why did they choose the room that Zoro was in?"
"I already told you! It was to insult me!" shouted Zoro.
"Maybe they just wanted to go somewhere where no one would notice them, and they didn't notice Zoro was there." theorized Usopp.
"How could they not notice I was there!?" Zoro exclaimed.
"That's possible," Franky replied, "but they didn't seem to care last time whether or not we saw them."
"Are you even listening to me!?" yelled Zoro.
"Now that I think about it.." Sanji began, "when Luffy got that dazed look on his face and ran out the door, wasn't it about the same time as last night?"
"I think it was..!" said Franky.
"Does this mean they're going to do this every night!?" Usopp shouted.
"We can't say for sure.." replied Franky. "This is all too weird. It doesn't seem like we can do anything right now..It's probably best to just leave them alone and go to sleep.
"WHAT!?" boomed Zoro. "You mean we're just going to let them do whatever they want!?"
"What can we do!?" retorted Franky. "They don't respond to anything we say when they're like this, and we don't know what will happen if we bother them! It would be a problem if we had to fight Strawhat Luffy, the man with a bounty of three hundred million!"
"They came into my room, had sex on my stomach, and now you're telling me I have to sleep somewhere else so they can finish up!?"
After an intense period of squabble, Zoro finally contended to sleep in the men's quarters, though he proclaimed that this was the last time they were ever going to get away with this.
No one looked forward to the next day.