I wanna thank all of my reviewers; I wouldn't write if it wasn't for you. A big Thank You!

I wanted to give you this chapter before I go on vacation for a week. So, please; surprise me with lots of reviews when I come back!

A Heart's Desire

Broken hearts

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Summer remained sitting on the ground outside the restaurant. She hadn't stopped crying since Seth left, on the contrary she was crying even more. The tears wouldn't stop and she was surprised that her crying hadn't made somone from inside come and tell her to shut up; her hiccuping and sobbing must be heard for miles and miles. At least that was how it felt like.

She couldn't even think straight because of her heavy crying. The tears that kept running down her cheeks and wettening her face made her eyes burn so she had a while ago brought her head down to rest on her knees. She had by now tears everywhere it seemed, tears mixed with snot. Usually Summer would at least wipe her nose but now she didn't care. How could she care about snot when she had just ruined everything?

Summer's hands slowly travelled downward to her stomach. What if she had hurt her baby? A new crying session overtook her as she felt the tiny roundness on her stomach. She had her precious baby in there and she was supposed to protect it and keep it safe in there for several more months. It wasn't even born yet and she was already a bad mother.

Summer didn't even notice the door open but as someone sat down next to her she slowly lifted her head to see Kirsten. Sandy was standing just behind her and at that moment Summer felt more embarrassed than she had in a very long time.

"Summer, what are you doing out here?" Kirsten gently asked and Summer immediately stood up, afraid of telling them. She was tired of disappointing people she loved and having done that to the person she loved most in the entire world she wasn't sure that she could do it again.

Wiping her face Summer smiled, forcing her tears back. "Would you mind just taking me home? I don't feel like talking about it."

Kirsten and Sandy both looked confused but nodded. "Sure, sweetie."

Summer didn't want to explain anything. She just wanted to go home.

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Seth watched the sky from the balcony, fumbling with a flower. He ripped off the leaves and threw them out in the air, seeing them blow away in the wind.

He had come here, wanting a calm place where he could think. His anger had disappeared faster than he had expected. When he was screaming at Summer he had felt like his anger would never go away but as soon as he walked into their apartment it had run off him. Now, he was just sad and scared.

What if Summer had hurt the baby? He was so afraid that she had but he was even more afraid of why she had been drinking. Had she done it more than one time and he hadn't noticed? Maybe he had been working too much again.

But he hadn't. Seth had tried extremely hard these last couple of weeks to always be around and let her know that she was the most important thing in his life; she and their baby. She couldn't have been drinking because he was all over her all the time either. He had given her space when she needed space and he had let her be alone when she wanted to be alone.

Then what was wrong? Clearly something was. And why had she accused him for cheating on her? Had it just been a thing she'd said or did she actually believe that?

Seeing Summer's devastated face in front of him from when he'd yelled at her Seth felt a worry grow inside of him. Not only for the baby but also for his wife. It wasn't something Summer would normally do, drinking while being pregnant, so something must be really wrong.

Seth heard the door open and shut again and figured that Summer was home. He was thankful for that and walked inside to see if she was okay. Even if this was far from over he just couldn't bear to not know what was wrong.

The bedroom door was closer and he could her her soft cries from in there. Careful, not to scare her he opened the door and found Summer on their bed. She lay on her side of the bed and was resting on her side, her face away from Seth. He knew that she must have noticed him entering the room since her crying stopped.

She was probably scared or angry right now. If Seth knew Summer right she was scared of talking to him and scared of showing her crying, her feelings. She was probably more scared than angry since Seth knew how guilt made Summer and he knew that she must feel very guilty for what she'd done. So right now, Seth did not wan't to make things worse and judge her. For now, he had to put those thoughts aside.

Seth carefully walked over to the bed and lay down on his side of the bed, facing Summer's back. He placed a hand on her lower back and gently moved closer to her. He hugged her from behind and felt her holding her breath. "It's okay, Sum. I'm here." he said and could immediately feel Summer tremble. He knew that she was fighting her crying so he stroked her hair with one hand as he hugged her close to him with his other showing her that she could let go. And she did. Muffled sobs escaped from her mouth as she held her hand over it to try to stop them. It didn't work though and soon her body was shaking as more and more sobs were heard.

Seth turned her around and brought her face into his chest, knowing that she was still holding it in. "It's alright, honey. It's alright." he repeated over and over and she finally allowed herself to cry. Almost hysterical sobs racked through her body as she clung on to Seth, gripping his shirt in her hands.

She wanted to say that she was sorry, she wanted nothing more than to apologize to him. But right now, she couldn't do anything but cry. So she did for a long time. Summer cried while Seth gently rocked her and whispered calming words into her hair.

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Summer opened her eyes and immediately knew that it hadn't all been a dream. She could feel the reminder of tears in her eyes and on her face. Taking a deep breath and preparing to get out from the bed she noticed Seth.

He was curled up close to her and his breathing was on her shoulder, something that usually sent a comforting feeling through her whole body. It was different this time though.

The fact that he was there, sleeping next to her after having held her as she cried, must mean something. It must mean that he didn't hate her for what she'd done, that he no matter what cared about her. Even after what she had done.

But she couldn't stop think about that colleague. What if there was something going on between the two of them. Summer wouldn't allow herself to be cheated on. She had never, ever believed that Seth would do something like that to her but maybe it was different now. Maybe it was different now when she was pregnant.

Seth looked so innocent and protective as he lay next to her. But yet she couldn't stay in his arms as she would usually do when she woke up before him. Even if there was nothing she wanted more than to feel his comfort surround her.

Summer got up, careful not to wake Seth, and walked into the bathroom. Gosh, she looked horrible. Her make up was all over her face and you could certainly see that she'd been crying. She actually looked kind of pathetic in the dress that was supposed to make her look sexy, her hair a mess and her face swollen with make up smeared over her cheeks.

Not being able to watch herself anymore she stepped out of her dress and underwear, quickly entering the shower in hope to get every sign of the previous night away. If only she could erase the whole night.

After having taken a shower Summer got dressed and sat down by the kitchen table with the phone. She was going to call her doctor to make sure that she hadn't hurt the baby last night.

Being pregnant was new and scary. There were so many thing Summer didn't know about things; what she was allowed to do and not. She had bought a few books but it was so much to take in. Her life was gonna change forever.

One thing that Summer did know about pregnant women was that they should avoid alcohol. Something that, out of mistake, Summer hadn't done.

Her doctor, Madlen Peterson, had said to Summer that she could call her any time. If she was worried about something, or unsure or just needed someone who understood her pregnancy Summer could call. And this was an emergency.

Madlen answered the phone almost immediately, making it impossible for Summer to change her mind.

"Hi, it's Summer. Summer Cohen." she quietly said, not entirely sure of how to say this.

"Oh, hi Summer! How are you?"

"I don't know." Summer said into the phone and prepared herself to tell. "I've done something I shouldn't have."

"Okay. You wanna tell me?" Madlen softly said; maybe she'd done this before.

Summer had never been afraid of doctors, her father was one so she'd been surrounded by them since she was a little girl. But now, when it was about her health it felt a little weird. At first, when Summer and Seth had gone to the appointment together, Summer had been terrified. She didn't want someone to examine her. Madlen had been very professional though and made everything easy for Summer. She'd explained everything in detail and made Summer feel comfortable. Madlen was a young doctor, only a couple of years older than Summer and she had a very kind and friendly personality.

To say out loud what she'd done though, even if it was to Madlen who Summer had confidence to, was harder than Summer had imagined. She took a deep breath and felt the lumb in her throat grow.

"Summer?"

"I'm sorry. I just can't-" Summer started and felt the first tears escape from her eyes.

"Okay, Summer. I know that this is hard. If you'll just tell me what's wrong I can help you. I promise that I'll help you, Summer."

Wiping some tears Summer gathered herself. "Yesterday I-it was Seth's birthday and on his birthday party-" Summer trailed off again.

"Did something happen on the party, Summer?"

"Yes. I-" Summer felt a new wave of tears burn in her eyes so she hurried to say what she needed to say. "I took a drink." Summer said and began to cry. "I didn't mean to, I didn't think." she cried, totally falling apart.

"I know that you didn't do it on purpose, Summer. Being pregnant is hard and many women do the same thing. It should be avoided but one drink won't do any damage. But you can come here and we can see, just in case. Would you want that, Summer?" Madlen asked as Summer kept crying. She calmed down a bit though, feeling a little embarrassed.

"So I haven't hurt the baby? It's not gonna get brane damages or anything?" Summer asked, worried.

"Hopefully not, Summer. But you can come here and we'll take some tests. I'm sure that everything's gonna be okay."

"If you say so."

"Can you come now? I'm free for two hours."

"Yeah, I'll come right now."

"Then I see you and Seth soon."

Summer tensed at the mention of Seth's name. She couldn't take him with her. "Um, I'm not sure if Seth will come with me. Would it be okay if I came alone?"

"Well, yeah. I just thought that Seth would want to come with you."

"Yeah. I'm coming alone though. Thanks for everything."

"No problem. See you soon."

"See ya." Summer said and put the phone down. She wiped away the tears on her face and got up from the chair, going to get herself ready. But as she turned around Seth stood there, facing her.

"I'm coming with you." he said in a determined voice.

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I'm not too pleased with this chapter but I promise you that the next is gonna give you more answers. I already have most of it written.

I wanna tell you all (especially the ones that are disappointed at me for making Summer pregnant) that to write a story about Seth and Summer being a married couple without having it the same way as other stories is hard. I try to make my story a little different but it's hard to find a good thing to write about. I mean, if I want the two of them to be together and happy and have a lot of cute moments I figured that the best way to still have that was to have Summer pregnant. It's not an issue that tears them apart but it still gives me enough of things to write about. It is hard to not include a pregnancy or a love triangle if you have them as a married couple. I mean, what are you supposed to write about? And, this is my story and even if I'm trying to make it different I won't be able to write about new things all the time. Do you know how many SS stories that are out there?

I hope that you understand what I mean. This is not something I wrote because I got some chritism about my story being much alike others. I just reacted to people voting for the sex of the baby and wanting it to be a boy because that's different. I also know that some readers didn't want Summer to be pregnant because there already are so many stories where that happens. So, I just wanted to clear this out.

Keep reviewing and do not be afraid to chritisize. I love all of my reviews!

I also want suggestions on baby names. It seems like most of you want it to be a girl but I still haven't decided. So please, help me with the names or I'll just pick something I like.

I reaslise that this author's note it a little too long but I want to let you all know that Life Continues is on a temporary hiatus. That is because of my lack of inspiration. I promise that I'll start write again sometime this summer though.

Just one more thing before I end this. I have not been able to check the spelling and grammar of my writing for a while now. My spelling and translation program is not working. So if you've noticed more mistakes than usual you now know the reason. English is not my native language (as you might already know I'm from Sweden) and as much as I'd like to think that my English is pretty good I know that I make more mistakes than I know of.

Please review!