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A Heart's Desire

Nobody's perfect on their own

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"I'm coming with you"

Seth's voice was sharp and definite and adding the look on his face Summer knew that he was being serious. She wondered for how long he'd been standing there since he knew where she was going. She hoped that he hadn't been there for long.

"Okay," she shortly answered after a while. Seth wasn't dressed yet so they both went back to their bedroom to get ready.

None of them said a word and they were both careful not to meet the other one's eyes. Neither of them were ready to confront the other.

Seth quickly undressed and stepped into the shower as Summer put on some make up standing in front of the bathroom mirror. She couldn't help but look at Seth through the glass wall. She did it in the mirror though, careful not to let him see. He looked really hot with the water streaming down his body.

Seth turned around and met Summer's eye for a second. She quickly looked away though, blushing. She tried to concentrate on her face, putting on the make up. Summer knew that he had seen her watching him but she wished that he hadn't.

Once Seth stepped out of the shower Summer looked away again wishing that he would cover himself up with a towel. It was impossible not to look at him. Pretty much every day the last couple of years they'd been doing this, getting ready in the same bathroom. It had always been something natural and they never felt it as if the other one was in the way and they'd never been embarrassed. They were always comfortable with it.

It was different now though. Sure they had faught a lot of times but it was never like this; like they were afraid of each other.

They finished getting ready, not uttering a single word and trying not to look at each other either. They both had their minds on the night before but none of them had the courage to start talking about it.

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"Nice to see you here. Seth, I didn't think you could make it." Madlen greeted them and showed them inside her room.

Seth scratched his chin and gave a nod. "Well, I came."

"I'm glad. It is so important that you support Summer."

Both Seth and Summer nodded, slightly uncomfortable. Madlen seemed to notice the tension between the two of them because she switched the subject.

"So, Summer are you feeling better?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that," she replied referring on her break down over the phone.

"No worries. Being pregnant isn't easy. Believe me, I know. I've got a two year old myself." Madlen explained and offered Seth and Summer to sit down. They sat down on a couch, leaving as much space between them as possible. "I understand that Seth is aware of why we are here today."

"I know about the drinking." Seth said to Madlen.

"Drinking? Seth, it was one drink. One. And I didn't even have it all." Summer said to her defense as she was offended by Seth's comment.

"Well, how am I supposed to know that it was just one? Maybe this has been going on for a long time." Seth said, finally talking to Summer.

"It hasn't. It hasn't." Summer repeated.

At this point Madlen took over again. "It sounds as if this drink is important to you both. Care to share what the reason behind it was?"

"I wouldn't have touched it if Seth wasn't cheating on me!" Summer said upset.

"Cheating! Summer, what do you think of me? Don't you know me at all? I would never do that, ever."

"How do you explain your behaviour around your blonde colleague then, huh? And the fact that you don't wanna have sex with me any more?"

"What colleague!"

"At the party!" Summer almost yelled with tears in her eyes.

"You mean Erica? What about her?"

"I saw how she greeted you and how you talked to her. You were laughing and she was whispering in your ear." Summer said now crying freely. She had never seen herself as someone who's boyfriend was cheating.

"Keep talking Seth. You need to sort this out." Madlen said calmly as she saw Seth's insecureness. Summer crying had always been a thing he hated. Heck, he hated when all women cried.

"Summer, I am not cheating on you. Not with Erica or anyone else. She's just a colleague and that's that. And I do want to have sex with you!"

"No, you don't."

Seth looked at Madlen and was about to give up. Summer could be really stubborn when she wanted to be. Madlen gave him an encouraging look though and he started to explain. "Summer, just because we haven't had sex as much as we usually do the past couple of weeks does not mean that I don't want to. I do! But you keep pushing me away, you don't want me to touch you. And therefore I haven't done that. Because I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to do."

"I do want." Summer sobbed.

"Okay, you guys. Let's skip what you both want. Would you let me say what I think?" Madlen offered, obviously aware of the fact that this conversation wasn't going anywhere. They both nodded. "I know that pregnant women can have problems with sex and being exposed in front of people. And then I mean in front of all people, even the one they love. Do you feel that Summer? Is it different now when you're pregnant?"

"Yeah, I guess." Summer shrugged, having stopped crying.

Madlen nodded. "That is completely normal. And Seth here, maybe is just trying to do the right thing. If I'm right Seth just wants you Summer to be comfortable. He does want to be intimate with you but only if he knows that you're comfortable with it." She took a break and tried to explain it better. "Okay, have you ever said no, Summer? I mean in a way that shows that you don't want him to touch you?"

Summer nodded and looked over at Seth, seeing his face soften.

"I think that you both want to be intimate with each other but you're afraid of what the other one is thinking. At a time like this it's so important to feel safe with your partner. Especially for the woman, for Summer. I don't know if you've read the books that I recommended but a pregnant women is so sensitive. I am not judging you or anything and I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Just be aware of the fact that even though Summer is carrying your baby you're in this together. Okay?"

Again they both nodded and Summer carefully looked over at Seth, the tears having returned. Seth met her eyes and smiled causing Summer to cry even more. She flung her arms around him and placed thousands of kisses on his neck.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Seth."

Seth embraced her and gently rocked her, happy to have her back in his arms. "Shh. I know, baby. It's okay now, everyhting's okay now." They stayed like that for a few moments and Summer calmed down. When they remembered that Madlen was there they pulled away, sitting closer next to each other this time though with Seth's arm wrapped around Summer's shoulders.

"Thanks, Madlen. And sorry about that again. I feel like this is more of a teraphy session than a visit to my doctor." Summer said, slightly embarrassed.

"It's okay. I'm just glad that you sorted this out. I know lots of women who come here alone. You are lucky to have each other."

They couple looked a little bit puzzled but smiled, quickly glancing at each other. "We know."

"Now, should we do what we came here to do?"

"Yeah," Summer said obviously ashamed.

Seth reassuringly stroked her lower back. "It's okay, Sum. We'll have a healthy baby."

"Madlen, is there any possibility that I hurt our baby?"

"There is but nothing should have happened Summer. Just don't have any alcohol again."

"I won't, ever." Summer promised.

"So, let's do this test shall we?"

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The moment Seth and Summer walked out from the clinic Summer jumped up into Seth's arms. She hugged him close and didn't even care that they were in the middle of a street.

"Hey, Summer." Seth said and walked them away a bit so they got some more privacy.

"I'm sorry. I've just missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too."

"I am so sorry. I don't know why I did it, I really don't and I wish that I hadn't done-"

"Summer, baby. I know. Okay? I know. You don't have to explain. It wasn't your fault."

"Yes it was. I will never forgive myself if anything happens to the baby."

"Nothing's going to happen. You heard what Madlen said."

"Yeah. And about Erica. I'm sorry. I should know that you would never-"

Seth stopped her and placed his both hands on either side of her face. "Baby, listen to me. You don't have to apologize. I know that you're sorry and I am, too. I promise you that I love you and I want you, only you. It's always been you. You're undeniable, Summer." Seth smiled, showing his adorable dimples.

"Cheesy, Cohen." Summer said but couldn't stop the smile that was spreading all over her face.

"Oh, come on. You love cheesy Cohen." And it was true; Summer loved everything about him including his cheesiness.

"I do. I love you."

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"So, here we are." Seth said as they entered their home. They both got this little strange feeling of how good it felt to enter that door again, together. Even if it hadn't been for long their fights always seemed to be like an eternity. It didn't feel like it was less than 24 hours ago.

"Here we are." Summer repeated and placed her jacket on the hanger and her purse on the drawer.

Seth nervously put his hands in his pockets and looked down on his shoes, acting as if they were sixteen again. "What do you-" he started but was caught off by Summer's lips on top of his. She kissed him sort of roughly and in a way that only she could, in a way that made his knees go week.

Seth never knew for a second what Summer would do next; around her he always had to be prepared. And even if he now knew Summer and had been married to her for a year and a half he still became nervous around her. He still felt like this awkward sixteen year old boy standing in front of this amazing girl.

Summer ripped his shirt off quickly as she still had her lips pressed against his, her tongue inside his mouth. Seth, still surprised by Summer's sudden forward behaviour, could do nothing but kiss her back. He placed his hands on her lower back as she dropped her shirt as well.

"Summer?" Seth said in between kisses.

"What?"

"Um..."

"I want this. Don't worry," she assured him and kissed him again.

"Okay."

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I have the next chapter pretty much written so if you give me good responses I'll update withing a few days. :)

Baby names suggestions. I have one or two in mind but I always like to hear what you guys think.

Please review!