THE WHITE ROOM...part 16
Rodney felt beyond exhausted. The adrenaline high from the Wraith attack had long since dwindled away, leaving him feeling drained and empty. His body felt weighted and sluggish as he sat in the chair next to Sheppard's bed.
Eight hours had passed since Carson had gotten the Colonel out of the chair. Rodney hadn't moved from Sheppard's side since the moment they were allowed to see him. Well, other than the half hour to shower and grab a plate of food. Carson had ordered him to go or be sedated. But Rodney had come right back with his lap top, mostly ignoring it in favor of watching Sheppard. Who wasn't doing anything. He wasn't even really breathing on his own, since the ventilator was doing it for him.
It freaked Rodney out a bit that Sheppard hadn't stirred at all. He didn't like seeing the man so still. He didn't like Carson's last update either. The Doc was worried about Sheppard's brain activity. At times it was off the charts, then it would suddenly even out again. The sporadic and strange readings had burned a frown line into Beckett's forehead. Rodney knew that couldn't be good, but he was afraid to ask for details. He preferred to believe that Sheppard was just sleeping and he'd wake up soon, back to normal.
Which was, of course, just an empty dream. When he woke up, because Rodney refused to even think if, Sheppard would still be as he had been. His brain still muddled from what Kel and Purdie had done to him. But Rodney was convinced they could fix the Colonel. They had to fix him. They needed him. Atlantis needed him.
"Rodney?"
He jumped at the sound of his name, turning his head to see Teyla standing beside him. She had moved so quietly he hadn't heard her approach. "Isn't it late?" he offered in greeting, feeling grouchy.
She smiled at him warmly. "It is late and I have come to relieve you. I will watch over John for a time. I know you do not wish him to be alone."
"I want to stay," Rodney stated. No way in hell was he leaving Sheppard alone again until he was better.
"You need to rest, Rodney," Teyla said gently. "There is an empty bed beside John's. You can rest there. I will keep watch and wake you if anything happens."
Rodney considered arguing, but she made a good point. And he couldn't hide the fact that he was exhausted. "Okay. But wake me if he so much as twitches."
Teyla nodded. "I can do that." She helped him out of the chair, took his lap top from him, then guided Rodney over to the other bed.
"Thanks," he mumbled, as she drew the blanket over him. He was lying on his side, facing Sheppard. But the moment he was fully stretched out, his eyelids drooped closed. Rodney slid into slumber.
He had only been asleep for two hours when Sheppard's heart monitor beeped loudly.
Teyla didn't have to wake Rodney or fetch Carson, who had been dozing in his office. Both were up and at Sheppard's side in an instant.
"What's wrong?" Rodney demanded, his eyes locked on Sheppard's pale face.
Carson was studying the readouts. "I think he's waking up. Colonel? Can you hear me?"
Sheppard twitched then his eyes flew open. One hand made a grasp for the tube in his throat as he started flailing in panic.
"Get that out of him!" Rodney shouted, feeling fear rush through him. He could tell that Sheppard was terrified and he couldn't blame him. It had to suck being on a respirator.
"Easy, Colonel," Carson said, pressing him back down. He looked at Rodney. "Keep him still so I can do this." Once Rodney was holding Sheppard, Carson pulled on gloves then he leaned over Sheppard and locked eyes with him. "I need you to cough, Colonel." He demonstrated since it was doubtful Sheppard understood his words. "Cough hard now!"
Sheppard seemed to get what he needed to do. He coughed, then started gagging as the tube was removed. Then he was coughing again.
Carson moved to raise the bed up more, then he grabbed a cup of ice chips. They were a staple at Sheppard's bedside. "Suck on this, Colonel," he said, slipping one into Sheppard's mouth.
After a moment the coughing eased and Sheppard relaxed against the pillows. He turned his head, looking at Rodney. "Azur," he whispered, his voice hoarse.
"Yeah, it's me," Rodney replied. "I'm here. You're okay now, Sheppard. You're home and you're okay." He wasn't sure if Sheppard would remember being back in Atlantis.
"Lantia," Sheppard breathed.
Rodney found himself smiling as Sheppard's eyes drifted closed. Apparently he did remember, which he took to be a good sign.
Teyla was by Rodney's side again, her gaze locked on Sheppard's pale face. "He's going to be all right," she said firmly, as if trying to convince herself and them.
"Well, at least he's no worse off," Carson interjected, not looking happy at having to play devil's advocate. He checked the other monitors, looked satisfied, then eyed both Rodney and Teyla. "Rodney, you lay down and get some more sleep. And Teyla, you can stay a bit longer but then you need to get some sleep as well."
"Ronon is coming to relieve me in a few hours," she replied. "I will leave then.
Rodney watched Carson nod then move off. He turned to Teyla who had returned to the chair. Then he watched Sheppard for a few minutes. The man's face was still too pale, but he looked more peaceful. And younger somehow. Maybe it was the fact that one of the nurses had shaved him that morning and even though there was stubble, it was lighter than it sometimes was. Or maybe it was just the fact that Sheppard was more at peace in this moment. Rodney sincerely hoped that was the truth. Sheppard had suffered enough.
"Go to sleep, Rodney," Teyla encouraged him.
"Right." Rodney squeezed Sheppard's arm then returned to his bed. He curled up under the blanket and watched the Colonel breathe, until sleep claimed him once more.
OoO
He was dreaming again. This time he knew it was a dream, but he also knew the faces that filtered through his mind. Past and present. He recognized Baelon, the first one. The oldest of their kind. The creator of all. A god of sorts, but not the god. He saw the one he called friend. Azur. Rodney. He saw Deithra and Elizabeth. Maalar and Ronon and Sumner and Kolya and so many others. He knew them all, friend and enemy alike.
Atlantis was with him, humming softly, reassuring him. She would guide him...help him. She could heal him, she whispered. He believed her and that allowed him to sleep again, peacefully. Tomorrow he would find his way home.
OoO
Rodney was twitching in his chair. Elizabeth had called a meeting to talk about Sheppard. Carson had just reported that the Colonel was doing better overall. He was breathing on his own, but he was sleeping a lot as he was worn out from being in the chair and from everything that had happened to him before.
"So can you help Colonel Sheppard?" Elizabeth was now asking, and she was looking at Rodney.
"Zelenka and Hermiod have gone over the tests and the results and the findings are the same," Rodney replied. "By all rights, we should be able to help Sheppard get back to normal."
"But there is no guarantee," Zelenka piped up. "What we do will be by trial and error I am afraid."
Elizabeth nodded. "I know. But if we don't try then Sheppard will remain the way he is now. Correct?"
Zelenka nodded.
"Then I say we do this." Elizabeth stated.
Rodney was about to agree when Carson's radio beeped. They all looked at the Doc.
"Beckett here," he replied.
The voice on the other end blurted out, "Colonel Sheppard is awake and babbling in Ancient. He's also trying to get out of bed."
Carson cursed. "I'll be right there." He turned to Elizabeth. "Since there's Ancient babbling involved, you might want to come with."
"Of course." Elizabeth was on her feet and heading for the door.
Rodney had already gotten up and was out the door and almost running. He'd been feeling nervous since he'd woke up in the infirmary and he had a feeling something important was going to happen. Whether it was going to be something good or bad, he didn't know. He just prayed it was good, for once.
They ended up going en masse, Teyla and Ronon bringing up the rear. But they held back until Carson had a chance to look Sheppard over. Then the Doc was gesturing them to join him.
Elizabeth and Rodney came up together, on the free side of Sheppard's bed.
Rodney smiled to see that John looked straight at him, holding his gaze, but it was obvious the man was agitated. His thin fingers were plucking at the blankets and he was shifting about, looking like he wanted to launch himself out of bed. Rodney was just about to ask him what was wrong when John started to speak.
In Ancient. The words flowing out of him like water rushing down a stream.
Everyone looked to Elizabeth to translate. She was focused solely on Sheppard and what he was saying, but after a moment she began. "He's saying that Atlantis can heal him and that he must go to the chair. That's basically all he keeps saying, over and over again. That he needs to go to the chair."
"I don't think that's a good idea," Carson countered, looking rueful. "The Colonel is very weak right now. Being in the chair the last time nearly killed him. I don't want to risk a repeat of that."
"You have to let him try!" Rodney interjected. He didn't know how he knew, but he was positive that being in the chair would help Sheppard. It clicked into Rodney's head in this moment that the Chair and Atlantis were the key to healing the Colonel. "Let him do this!" He turned to Carson and locked eyes with him. "We owe it to Sheppard to let him try." Rodney wasn't one to beg for anything, ever. But he would beg now if it meant getting Sheppard into the chair. If it meant getting him back.
Carson made a face and shook his head, but then he took a look at Sheppard who was looking both desperate and hopeful. So he turned to Elizabeth. "I'm not in favor of it from a medical stand point, but I'll let this be your call."
Elizabeth didn't look happy. "Do you think it could kill him?"
"It's a possibility," Carson allowed.
Ronon stepped up. "This should be Sheppard's call. Tell him the risks and let him decide if it's worth it."
Everyone looked at him in surprise, because the Satedan looked almost angry. And an angry Ronon wasn't someone to mess with.
"He's right," Rodney stated. "This should be Sheppard's call." He looked at Elizabeth. "Tell him the risks then let him decide if he still wants to do it. He knows something we don't. We're only guessing about what's going on in his head. But last night he was peaceful for once and now he's about jumping out of his skin with the need to do this. I think it's up to Sheppard to make the call. I think we owe him that." Rodney broke off, panting for breath, since he had delivered his speech without pausing.
"Do you all agree with that?" Elizabeth queried, her gaze turning to Teyla, who nodded. Then she faced Carson, who hesitated, but finally nodded. She already knew what Ronon and Rodney thought. She drew in a shuddery breath, released it slowly, then turned to Sheppard. After clearing her throat she told him the risk involved in going to the Chair.
John looked at her for a long moment, then he smiled. "Egomae muto ben aloem."
Elizabeth looked shaken, then she translated, verbatim. "I must do this."
Rodney felt relief wash over him, quickly followed by pure fear. He knew that what happened next would be do or die for Sheppard. Still, he had to support his friend. "Get a wheel chair." He snapped his fingers at Ronon who was already striding to the other side of the infirmary.
John seemed to understand what was happening now. He let Carson fiddle with his IV, then he let Ronon guide him into the chair. Teyla covered his lap with a blanket and he smiled at her. He looked at peace with himself.
"We ready?" Rodney asked, because at this point he just wanted to get this over with. Either Sheppard would be back or he would lose his friend. The wondering which was getting to him. Rodney didn't do well with the whole faith and hope thing. He preferred the cold logic of science. And this was close enough to science. Sheppard was connected to Atlantis in a way none of them would understand. Rodney believed that with every fiber of his being. To the point where he was willing to believe that the city would save Sheppard because she needed him as much as they did. And that was a simple fact. It was logic. It was something he could believe in.
"Give me a minute, I want to have some equipment ready," Carson beseeched. He hustled about gathering what he needed, along with a nurse and a gurney, then he nodded. "Ready."
Rodney stepped behind the wheel chair and pushed Sheppard out the door. Ten minutes later they were in the Chair room. He helped Sheppard stand, supporting him when his knees buckled.
Then Ronon was there, scooping Sheppard into his arms and settling him in the chair.
Sheppard smiled at him, which surprised Rodney. Usually, if Sheppard was conscious and Ronon had to carry him, he was furious.
"What now?" Elizabeth queried.
"We wait," Rodney replied, his eyes on Sheppard.
John closed his eyes as he settled his shaking hands over the arm rests. The chair lit up instantly, his connection with Atlantis as much a part of him as breathing. She was happy to see him and she wrapped him in her warmth and love before carrying him away.
John felt like he was soaring.
THE END...of part 16