Last installment, hope it's been at least bearable to read. I haven't seen all the episodes so I know the voices aren't spot on, if anyone has tips for fixing that please let me know.

John had to wait another thirty-six hours before he saw those blue eyes that he loved so much, and then it was only for a few seconds. He stroked the injured man's face trying to coax them open again, "come on babe, I know you're in there."

Sheppard couldn't help but be amazed at the changes in him that a few months with Carson had brought about. In previous relationships he'd always been the hands off type of guy; he hated cuddling, despised PDAs, and had never been one for pet names or endearments. But something about Carson had changed all that. Hell, the first time he'd met the guy, seen that shamed look in his eyes after Carson had nearly killed him and General O'Neill, it'd been all he could do to keep from drawing the Scot into a fierce hug and telling him everything was going to be alright. It'd taken John awhile to get over the shock of those feelings. He hadn't even really tried to examine these changes in himself, he hadn't needed too, the answer was obvious, John wanted Carson and that's what Carson needed. Carson wore his heart and emotions on his sleeve, including his need to be loved, to be touched. The Col was just glad that after nine months of no contact with Earth, they'd rescinded the "don't ask, don't tell" rule- he wasn't sure he would have been able to keep this kind of love to himself; and of course, none of his motives had been at all personal. In reality, he'd seen the looks several of his men were shooting at each other- apparently he was only blind to the looks that Carson had been sending his way- and figured it was the least he could do to make their lives a little better. Thankfully, Elizabeth had agreed. Now six months later there were nearly as many gay couples as there were straight.

John was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice a pair of brilliant blue eyes watching him carefully. Carson finally got frustrated waiting for John to notice him and gave his hand a weak squeeze; he couldn't help the amused chuckle when John jumped three feet in the air.

"Carson!"

Beckett's mouth moved but no sound came out, John immediately ran for ice chips and a nurse. He slipped one into the doctor's mouth on his return and resumed stroking Carson's face. "You've been down for awhile, babe, give it a few minutes," he whispered when Carson continued trying to speak. "I hear you did great in there; both Major Lorne and Dr Seavers are doing great. They actually released Lorne this morning."

Being as stubborn as ever, Carson continued to test his voice, "your team," he finally managed to ask with a quiet croak.

Sheppard shook his head as he delivered a couple more ice chips to the doctor's mouth; leave it to Carson to worry about others when he was the one that had very nearly died less than forty-eight hours ago, "not a scratch on any of us. We've all been worried about you though; you are absolutely not allowed to get hurt ever again."

"Aye, I'll do my best." Beckett winced as an errant pain signal forced its way through the medication induced haze; he saw John start to call for the nurse, "I don't need anymore meds, luv."

Sheppard started to argue with him but he could see the firm set of his boyfriend's jaw and knew there was no way he was going to win this argument. "Fine, how bout I just talk to you then?"

"Aye, that'd be lovely."

John turned Carson's hand over in his own as he wondered how to start his conversation, let alone whether now was the best time to have it. He looked up to see Carson eyeing him suspiciously, "I- I never realized how hard it was to see the person you love injured." He dropped his eyes back to their joined hands, "I never realized how strong you are; I didn't think I could handle it."

Beckett's brain was stuck on repeat about fifteen words back; John loved him! Sure their relationship was going great, they were even talking about moving in together, but that was the first time John had said anything about love. Carson dragged himself back to reality as he realized that John was still speaking.

"-almost did something incredibly stupid until our friends beat some sense into me," Sheppard absently rubbed the back of his head. "I love you Carson, and I will always be here for you, no matter what."

"Really?" Carson ignored the fact that he sounded like a three year old that had just been told he could go to the candy store.

John gave him that patented flyboy smile and placed a tender kiss on his forehead, "yeah really. Now hurry up and get better so I can take you home; I hate sleeping without you."

Carson fought the sudden wave of exhaustion that overwhelmed him, "aye, love you too John," he managed to murmur before a healing sleep once again claimed him.