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Chapter 3: Doom and Gloom
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"Harry, you're biting your nails again" Severus said, breaking Harry out of his daze.
He had been sitting at the kitchen table for almost half an hour and not eating his breakfast. He couldn't eat, he just couldn't. He felt sick all the time with worry, grief and nerves. Today was Arthur's funeral, Remus had been left widowed with two little ones and Draco was his son's father. What was going on with the world?
"You'll have no nails left at this rate" Severus told him, as Harry put his hand down and smiled unconvincingly at him.
"I didn't even know I was doing it… god, I just want today to be over."
"If you don't feel up to it, we can stay home."
"I have to go. I can't let Ron and Mrs Weasley down… and anyway, Arthur was like a… a father to me."
Severus noticed the crack in Harry's voice and got up from his seat and stood behind him. He put his arms around Harry and rested his chin on his shoulder.
"Hey, everything's going to be fine."
"But that's the point, it's not is it? People are being killed, Malfoy is trying to take my son from me… is it even safe to go outside anymore?"
"Harry, you listen to me. I won't let anything happen to you… or the kids." This seemed to be too much for Harry and he started to cry.
"Come here" Severus said, pulling Harry off his chair towards him and hugging him tightly.
"I don't know what I would do without you" Harry sobbed.
"Well you're not without me. We're together, we have a family and nothing will change that. Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"What's wrong daddy?"
Harry let go of Severus and looked around to see Matthew looking at them with a scared expression. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and put on the biggest smile he could muster before lifting Matthew up.
"Nothings wrong sweetheart."
"Then why you crying?"
"Your daddy is just a bit upset about Uncle Arthur" Severus said, planting a kiss on the top of Matthew's head. "I'll go and get Joseph and Lily ready."
"Daddy?" Matthew said once Severus had left.
"Yes?"
"Why do I have to say Sevrus?"
"What do you mean?" Harry asked.
"Lily and Joe call him daddy."
"Would… would you like to call Severus daddy?"
"Yeah."
For the first time since he heard about Arthur's death, Harry smiled a genuine beaming smile. There was nothing like your child bringing you crashing back down to earth and showing you what life was all about. And for the first time, the thought that Malfoy had tricked him into having sex didn't completely repulse him. After all, it was their affair that produced Matthew and he wouldn't have things any other way. Malfoy had given him Matthew, he could never be less than grateful for that.
"Hey, when Severus comes back downstairs give him a big hug and tell him you love him."
"Ok" Matthew replied as Harry put him down.
Matthew ran into the hallway and waited at the bottom of the stairs. Harry followed him and still couldn't help smiling, wondering if his son could be any cuter at this moment. A few seconds later Severus came down the stairs.
"What are you waiting for little one?" Severus asked Matthew.
"You" he replied, holding his arms wide.
"Do you want a hug?"
"Yeah."
Severus picked Matthew up, almost dropping him when Matthew said "I love you daddy" in his ear. He whipped around and saw Harry standing there, smiling at him. This was what made life worth living for Harry, and for Severus.
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Harry and Severus were walking and in hand up to Ron and Hermione's house. Harry was holding onto Severus' hand with huge force, not wanting to let go for anything.
"Hey, why are you so tense?" Severus asked, stopping outside the front door and turning to Harry.
"It's just… are you sure we won't get into trouble for not attending that hearing?"
"Harry I told you, it's all sorted. Malfoy can't just walked into a child's life after five years and expect us to drop everything and do as he says. There are procedure's he has to go through and I'm making sure they will take as long as possible. And like I said before, if it comes to it we'll-"
"But I don't want to live my life in hiding. It's so unfair."
"I know it is… but we'll be fine, we've got each other."
"I love you so much."
"And I love you too… let's concentrate on the funeral, we can discuss the Malfoy thing later, let's not allow him to dampen Arthur's day."
"Ok" Harry said as Severus rang the doorbell.
"How are you mate?" Harry asked Ron as soon as he opened his front door to let him and Severus in.
"I'm doing ok. Mum's the one in a mess. We're all trying to rally round you know? But it's been hard."
"Well if there's anything Severus and I can do to make things easier, just let us know."
"Thanks mate."
Harry and Severus went into the house. Most of the Weasley's were there, except for Mrs Weasley who was still upstairs. Harry made his way into the kitchen where he found Hermione making tea for everyone.
"Hey you" Harry said. Hermione turned around and gave Harry a hug. "Is Ellie with Minerva as well?"
"Yeah, Ron took her to Hogwarts about an hour ago. It's just not a place for babies is it?"
"No, I was in two minds about letting Matthew come, but he's just too young to understand it all."
"How's Remus?" Hermione asked.
"I don't know" Harry replied honestly. "He's gone away for a while and Dumbledore said he didn't want to be contacted by anyone... I guess we have to respect that. Although I wouldn't have a clue what to say to him anyway."
"I can't begin to imagine what he's going through."
"How's-" Harry began to ask Hermione how Mrs Weasley was, but she appeared in the kitchen, looking as though she had been crying but putting on a very convincing fake smile.
"Hello Harry dear, I'm so glad you could come. Arthur would have really appreciated it."
"I wouldn't have missed it for anything… Mr Weasley was like… like a father to me."
"And you were like a son to him. Ron tells me you want to say something at the service."
"I'd like to, if that's ok with you."
"Of course it is."
Mrs Weasley hugged Harry tightly and then excused herself to go and see the others. Half an hour later they were on their way to the church after having tea and enduring awkward small talk about the weather and the like. Again, Harry had hold of Severus' hand as though his life depended on it, but Severus didn't mind, it was comforting to know that Harry loves and trusts him. As they began walking up the path towards the church Harry felt a shot of pain in his stomach. Stopping him in his tracks he couldn't help saying "ow."
"Are you ok?" Severus asked him.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just a pain."
"All this stress isn't doing you any good you know. Maybe we should go to St Mungos tomorrow, see if they can give you something."
"Yeah maybe" Harry replied. "I'll see how it goes."
They carried on walking, but the shooting pain kept coming. Harry tried biting down on his lip and letting it pass but it got worse and worse until he was doubled over in agony on the floor.
"Oh my God" he heard Hermione shout.
"Harry, I'm taking you to the hospital, no arguments" Severus said and Harry didn't object. He closed his eyes and let himself be picked up. He was dying, he knew he was. There was nothing anyone would be able to do. This was it, someone had killed him too.
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Severus was pacing up and down the corridor, his heart beating a million times a minute. The Healer had only been with Harry for a few minutes, but he was already running out of patience, wanting to know what was going on. What was wrong with Harry? Was it life threatening? As though the Healer could hear his thoughts, his head popped out of the door and called him inside. Severus ran to Harry's side, he looked ok but was very pale. He ran a hand through his hair and smiled down at him.
"Your husband wanted to wait for you before I relayed what I found" the Healer said to Severus.
"Ok, so what is it?"
"Nothing life threatening, but I am sorry to tell you that you've suffered a miscarriage."
"A what?" Harry said in bewilderment.
"A miscarriage."
"But… I wasn't pregnant."
"I can assure you that you were pregnant" the Healer said, seeming confused by the reaction.
"We came here the other day" Severus told him. "We thought Harry might be pregnant, but the Healer we saw told us the result was negative and that Harry had been feeling sick due to food poisoning… so I think you've got your wires crossed somewhere."
"You have suffered a miscarriage… and you were pregnant. I don't think I'm the one who's got their wires crossed."
"So… they got it wrong the other day?" Harry asked.
"It's not possible to get it wrong. A pregnancy test is one of the most basic tests we have and it's never been wrong. Who did you see?"
"It was a Mr Davidson" Severus told him.
"I'll be back in a moment" the Healer said, leaving them to it. Harry and Severus looked at each other, both looking as confused as each other.
"Severus, what's going on?"
"I've no idea… but if what he's saying is true… we've… we've just lost a baby."
As though the thought had only just occurred to him, Harry started to cry. Severus hugged him and swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. How could this have happened? If a wrong result wasn't possible, why did the Healer the other day say that it was negative?
The Healer returned a couple of minutes later looking very agitated. He sat on the end of Harry's bed and took a few moments before he was able to make eye contact with them both.
"I'm so very sorry about all this, I don't even know how it happened, but we will be carrying out a full enquiry."
"Because the result were wrong the other day?" Severus asked.
"No, not because of that" the Healer replied. "We have no record of you attending a few days ago and… we don't have a Healer by the name of Davidson working here."
The Healer was met with complete stony silence from Harry and Severus as they let what they were being told sink in. "I'm very sorry" he said again, when nobody seemed able to say anything.
"It's not your fault" Snape told him. "There's nothing that could have been done to stop someone planning to do something like this."
"And like I said, we will be investigating and even right now, we're tightening up security around the hospital."
"Can I go home?" Harry whispered.
"I would like to keep you in over night, you will be quite safe and I will happily show you proof of my status as a Healer in the hospital."
After examining Harry and giving him medication for the stomach pains, the Healer left, but was swiftly followed by Severus who stopped him in the corridor.
"I just wanted to ask you something" Severus said.
"Go ahead" The Healer replied.
"Well, this is actually the third pregnancy we've experienced despite using protection. Is there a full proof method we could use?"
"Unfortunately Mr Snape, unless you with stain from sexual intercourse altogether, or get a vasectomy, there is no full proof method. You can use condoms and contraceptive spells, but there will always be a slight risk."
"Right. Thank you very much."
"You're welcome."
Severus returned to Harry, who in his absence had started crying again. Severus held his hand and told him everything was going to be fine, but this only made Harry cry even more.
"Who… who would do this to us?" Harry sobbed.
"I don't know, but I'm going to find out" Severus replied. He had a very good idea who was behind all this.
"It's all my fault."
"What is?"
"Losing the baby, because… I said I didn't… didn't want one."
"Oh Harry, don't be so daft. This isn't your fault, but…I very much doubt the miscarriage was an accident."
"If… if I hadn't… lost it… would you have wanted…"
"Of course I would have wanted it. It was our baby after all. I know we both agreed the timing wouldn't have been ideal at this stage, but we'd have coped with it. You got pregnant with Joseph only three months after we got together and before we had even discussed the possibility of kids… but he's one of four things that are the most precious to me in the world."
Harry didn't have an answer to this. He looked overwhelmed and as though all he wanted to do was burst out crying again. Severus knew he must be feeling a mixture of emotions at the moment and didn't want to push it.
"You need to get some sleep. I'm going to contact the Weasley's and Minerva and I'll be right back to check on you."
"Ok."
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Coming up in the next chapter: Severus goes after the person he thinks is behind the miscarriage and a totally unexpected person turns up at the door!
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(This chapter was posted on July 4th)
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