So the fire is almost out and there's nothing left to burn
I've run right out of thoughts and I've run right out of words
As I used them up, I used them up...

After a long and draining day, Lucas finally curled up under the covers of the bed he used to sleep in. He missed his bed. Well, technically it wasn't his real bed, but this was his home away from home for God's sake! From time to time, it was his real home.

Like after his mom lost her job for the first time. She couldn't find another job anywhere. At first, Lucas thought it was cool. He got to hang out with his mom all day. But then the phone calls started. It seemed like every five minutes someone called and asked for his mom. Every time he handed the phone to his mom she got a horrible look on her face. She would look worried and scared and sad all at the same time. And she would always tell Lucas to leave the room before she started talking.

After a while, she told him not to answer the phone. She wouldn't answer it either. The only time they would pick up the phone was when they heard David's voice come over the answering machine telling them to pick up.

Months went by and everything just got worse. Lucas got really scared. Then he and his mom moved in with David and Jenna. When his mom "got back on her feet", they moved back out. Not into the same house, but into a small apartment. Then everything just started all over again and they moved back in with David. The viscous cycle repeated itself for almost two years before David bought the café. That was when everything got better.

Yeah the fire is almost cold and there's nothing left to burn
I've run right out of feeling and I've run right out of world
And everything I promised, and everything I tried
Yeah everything I ever did I used to feed the fire

He missed his mom. He missed her every day. He was always thinking of how she would want him to act. What would she say? What would she want him to do?

He remembered a time when he was probably eight. He had gone with his mom to pick up David from the university where he worked. Before they went in to where his office was, he noticed a girl sitting across the street on the curb, crying. There was a cross and a bunch of flowers next to her. When Lucas got up to David's office, he asked the older man about it. David told him that there had been a car crash about three weeks ago. It was a student at the university. She fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into the tree. Dead on impact. He said that every night, a crowd of her friends would stand there. They would cry. Hug each other. Just stand there and remember her. David said that he saw them every day when he left work.

After about a week, the crowd thinned out a little. Not much, but enough to notice. Another week went by and the crowd turned into a few people, huddling next to the curb, crying. By the time Lucas and Karen came to pick up David, even the huddle of people no longer stood there. What was once a crowd of people, standing and crying in the memory of a beloved friend, was now one girl, the dead girl's best friend. It was the third night that the girl sat out there alone, crying. Remembering.

At the time, Lucas could not understand it. Why would they stand there? Hoe could one person mean that much to so many people? If that one person meant that much to that many people, how come there was only one person who wanted to remember them?

Now Lucas understood. He knew the answer to all of those question, Except the last one. At first, it seemed like everyone remembered his mother. She was always on everyone's mind, just like she was always on Luke's. Now, nobody seemed to think about her. Nobody even seemed to remember her. Lucas now knew how that one girl felt. He was the only one who remembered his mother. He had to keep her memory alive. If he couldn't keep her memory alive, then she really was gone.


I used to feed the fire
I used to feed the fire
I used to feed the fire
But the fire is almost out is almost out...
And there's nothing left to burn
No there's nothing left to burn
Not even this...

David peaked into the dark room to see Lucas laying on his side, facing the wall. He knew the boy was not sleeping. Whenever Lucas was really asleep, he twitched. There was a medical name for it. Something about the brain thinking that the body is dying so it sends a message to the muscles. He also knew that Lucas would pretend to be sleeping. He wasn't going to want to talk about his father.

"How's your leg feeling?" No response. "Come on, Luke. I know your not really sleeping." He heard a Lucas sigh without rolling over.

"How do you always know that I'm not sleeping?" He asked, still not turning over.

David had to laugh. "Now why would I tell you that? Then I'd never have the upper hand. So what's going on?" Lucas didn't know how to answer. He wasn't sure what to tell David. He wanted to talk about his mom. They had loved each other. How could even he forget about her?

"How's your leg feeling?" David resorted to asking again as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He turned the lamp on the table next to the bed on and reached for the foot. He poked around it a little bit while Lucas gasped in agony. It was still swollen. He'd have to go to the doctor. But not now. In the morning. When the roads have cleared up. When the tension between everyone and his surrogate son was resolved.

"Don't you ever miss her?" Lucas finally blurted out.

"Your mom? Of course I miss her! Every day!" David was stunned by the question. How could Lucas think that he didn't miss Karen?

"Nobody ever talks about her anymore. Nobody cares. Everyone's just forgetting her! They're all just going around like she never even existed!" Seeing Lucas like that just killed David. The boy held one knee to his chest while the other lay swollen out in front of him, tears in his eyes. Had that really been what the boy thought? Had he really thought that everyone had just forgotten about his mother?

"Nobody has forgotten her, Luke."

"Yes they have! Don't you remember telling me that story about the girl who was in the car accident? When she first died, tons of people stood around where she died every night. Then they all started to forget about her! Nobody came anymore but her best friend. Even then she stopped. Everybody just forgot about her. Now all that's left is a cross next to the tree she crashed into!" It took Dave a while to remember what he was talking about. But then he remembered it clearly. It had probably been one of the saddest things he had ever seen.

"But those people didn't forgot that girl. They had just moved on. Everyone needs to move on. You can't sit still or go back in time. The world keeps moving. And if you don't move on with it, eventually you'll get too far behind to catch up. You can't stop your life just because your mother is gone. You know she wouldn't have wanted it."

That was all Lucas could take before he broke down. He started sobbing. He didn't deserve to feel like that. All David could do was pull him into his arms.

It took all of about five minutes for Lucas to pass out. It had been a long day. It was late. David thought about easing the boy out of his arms so he could sleep in his own bed. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. After another few minutes, he finally turned out the light, and threw a pillow behind his head. It wasn't just a long day for Lucas, and David was soon out too.


And the fire is almost dead and there's nothing left to burn
I've finished everything...
And all the things I promised, and all the things I tried
Yeah all the things I ever dreamed I used to feed the fire

When Dan woke up, he found David in the kitchen, making pancakes. "So you talked to him?" Dan asked.

"Yeah. He's going to be all right." Dan couldn't help but notice a damp spot on the shoulder of DJ's shirt. Lucas had cried. How long had he held those tears in? Dan should have been there for him. It wasn't like he would have known what to say. DJ did. Maybe Lucas should stay with DJ. He already had a life here. He was happy here.

"Do you think Lucas should stay here with you?" It was a question. Maybe Dan was wrong. He obviously didn't know squat about his son. DJ did. DJ would know what to do.

"No. I would love to have him come live here and I really miss the kid, but I think he belongs with you. If you'll take him, I mean." If? Of course he would. Lucas was his son. But what kind of job would Dan do with the kid? Obviously he hasn't done much good so far. What's to say he won't screw up again?


I used to feed the fire
I used to feed the fire
I used to feed the fire
But the fire is almost out...

Over breakfast the next morning, they all discussed what would happen to Lucas. He was going to go back with Dan. It was for the best. Dan was going to be a better father. Not only to Lucas, but to Nathan too. They both deserved a better father and Dan was going to give that to them. He was glad that he was going to get Lucas back. Whatever he and DJ had talked about, had definitely changed Lucas.

He was more open now. He was happy. And not just happy to be around the people he loved, but just happy in general. Like someone that just discovered antidepressants. He made conversation with Dan. He still seemed to just over the subject of his mother though. It was probably for the better. Dan had treated her like crap. Telling Lucas that he had treated his mother like crap was definitely not going to help things. Maybe Lucas knew that Dan hadn't treated her right. Maybe that was the reason he avoided talking about her. Maybe Dan would find out one day.

They laughed and ate and talked and ate some more. It was the first time in a long time that Dan had actually enjoyed himself. DJ had given him some tips on how to deal with Lucas too. He was going to be all right.

They were going to be all right.

After breakfast, Dan would drive him to a doctor to have his foot checked out. Then they would return home. Dan's home. Luke's home.

Half my life I've been here
Half my life in flames
Using all I ever had to keep the fire ablaze
To keep the fire ablaze
To keep the fire ablaze
To keep the fire ablaze...

He had to go home with Dan. He had to. It was where he belonged. He had known David and Jenna for over half of his life, now he was going to leave them. Not for good though. He could still come and visit anytime he wanted. He could still call David up any time he wanted to talk about his mom. They weren't leaving him like his mom did.


But there's nothing left to burn
No there's nothing left to burn
And the fire is almost out
The fire is almost out
Yeah the fire is almost out
Almost out, almost out
Almost out, almost out…

As he walked out to the car with Dan, he had to constantly tell himself that it was right. This was what his mom would have wanted.

He was going to be happy in Tree Hill. He had friends. He would make more. He was on the basketball team. He had a brother. Dan had agreed to be around more. Deb would probably be around more to. He would have a real family. He could be normal. Screw normal. He could be rich!

It wasn't even the having-more-money-than-you-need thing that appealed to him. It was just having enough. His life would be good with his new-found father.

He really did miss his mom. He would always remember her. But now he realized that just because he wasn't consciously thinking of her every second, she would always be floating around in his head. Telling him which way to go. Leading him in the right direction. And this was the right direction.


And there's nothing left to burn

Last note from me: So it's 12:44 AM, Wednesday, July 5, 2007. Forty-four minutes behind. Not bad for me. Oh well. I'm sure I'll get better as I get older… So how'd you guys like it? It's done. But I guess you can say that I cheated. I think I'm going to continue with this story. Like a sequel. But first, I wanna know what you guys thought about this one. Be cruel! Remember! I made you guys sit around and wait for months (months!) before I'd post a new chapter! Now be honest. How did it flow. I suck at endings so how was this one? Anything else that didn't make sense? I just think I left a lot of things unanswered because I had stuff in my head that I didn't put on… computer screen? Oh well. Let me know.

Okay so maybe that wasn't the last note…

So credit due to Mike for the uber-sad story about the car accident. True story. Doesn't that stuff just suck? And he also told me that it is a fact that even if someone is dead, sometimes their nerves and muscles and stuff aren't yet so they can move! BAM! The widow gets up to make the ulegy about her husband of seventy two years and in the midst of her weeping, dead hubby decides he's not done and sits up in the casket. Morbid? Yes. But come on! Hilarious! Look for that one in one of my future stories…

So this song is 39 by The cure

The last song was by Keane in case I don't get a chance to put it in that chapter.

If you enjoy my uber-sad (uber is my new word if you haven't noticed) here's some you should check out…

Here You Me Jimmy Eat World

World Spins Madly On The Weepies

He Heart Of Life John Mayor

Asleep The Smiths (still can't listen to this song without crying)

Meet You There Simple Plan

And many more. I gots millions of em. Let me know if you want more