Title: Connections

Disclaimer: I do not own this universe or these characters.

A/N: Er Hmm. So, I lied about the quick thing. Sorry about that but there was this HGTV show that caused a fun but distracting ruckus in my backyard.

On the whole, River did not like attending weddings. For River, sitting in an audience full of people who purported to bless and support the union was a little bit like sitting amongst a hive of very noisy bees.

Very few people attended the ceremony and focused good and loving thoughts toward the couple at the front of the room. Whispers of past experiences, other weddings, and the histories that had sprouted from each separate thread floated around the room while the angry buzz of a thousand jealousies murmured and whirred.

That is what had made Kaylee and Simon's wedding so special. Kaylee's family had been genuinely happy... the whole town had just seemed eager to accept and support this union that they knew nothing about apart from the simple truth that their Kaylee, a part of their community, had chosen it. River had been able to stand at the very front - the funnel's end of all the thoughts and feelings of those that had attended and she had been able to soak only in good and loving intentions. Memories bittersweet perhaps, but nothing that took away from the beauty of what Kaylee and Simon meant to each other.

Inara's wedding was far more traditional, far less full of life, and, though everyone wore smiles along with their dresses, River could feel Inara's place in her husband's estate would not be completely unchallenged; wherever there was great fortune there would always be great envy. Still, River felt encouraged by the support particularly of Inara's Companion community - it was far stronger than their jealousy and, in all, good feeling outweighed evil.

After three days of ceremony the beauty and comparable quiet of the final processions were heaven. Serenity's crew had been allowed to walk along Inara's sedan and her many maids of honor; not quite part of the procession, but near enough. The beauty of the bride was rivaled only by the beauty of the day she had created and the nature of the planet she was to call home.

Now, cloistered back into a grand but, for River's tastes, rather stifling hall, River found herself unable to hear the vows over the thoughts that hissed around her. She felt grounded among her crew, everyone dressed in their finery and full of memory and joy for their friend - still... she wanted to be outside again, she wanted to be away from all these lives she had no desire to dwell within, she wanted to escape.

Casually, Mal put a hand on her knee. It was a hand of comfort, no more, but it did the trick. The weight of his hand just a layer away from her skin didn't exactly bring her peace - still she stifled the flight of her pulse and took from his touch exactly as he intended... Support.

She took two very deep breaths concentrating on blocking the roar of minds in hers to a hum and finally to barely a vibration.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Mal noticed how his pilot had started to hunch up the longer the ceremony dragged on and found that when she relaxed at his touch, so did he. She had this incredible way of making him feel right somehow. He'd been noticing recently a dominating sense of pride in his River. He didn't really know what to do with it, honestly, but it seemed to rise up from his chest any time it was apparent how strong she had become - or anytime he walked into a room with her at his side.

Not too long ago the woman at the alter giving herself to another man - the woman destined always to give herself to other men - had been his holy grail. Not too long ago River had been merely a mysterious girl - a victim - smuggled on his ship naked in every way - no clothes, no way to protect herself or her mind.

But that had been before Miranda. Before he'd returned to his crew to find River had sacrificed herself to the Reavers. Before the blast doors had opened to reveal that she'd sacrificed the Reavers instead... to reveal they were the last two standing. The two with the worlds on their shoulders.

And even then, he hadn't seen it fully. Unaware of anything except there had been something in him that had died in that moment, and something in him that had been reborn.

Then the wall had disappeared behind her and a dozen guns had been trained on her.

It was that moment, he truly knew - their eyes met and they both acknowledged this was death. No more hope.

Mal saw the way her hand gripped the weapon in her hand as she turned to face it- and he knew he was going to see her, not ten feet from him, torn apart by bullets and there would be nothing he could do to stop it.

The world had been turned upside down at that moment. He could still see the image of beautiful pristine Inara as he limped out of the elevator, hardly a mark on her and feel the hollow moment he realized he would never again be able to accept her. And he knew, with the hellfire facing him, that he would never find anyone more beautiful than the girl before him, shaking with power and nerve- half his age, half his size and a hundred times his worth. He understood all this in that moment - told it to her in his mind, willing her to hear him, to take his sin because they were about to die together and there would be no one but her to judge him.

But they'd lived. By all miracles they had lived and he had shut down his mind and his heart. Avoided her all too penetrating eyes and pretended he hadn't told her... because in fact, he hadn't.

It had taken years and another trigger for Mal to recognize the ache in his heart he'd been desperately ignoring. And there was no going back for him - he'd realized that the moment he'd seen Matthew Warner come for River just as she'd predicted. Even knowing it was a rouse, his blood had boiled at the site of that snake trying to wrap himself around her. It was no wonder Warner had accepted the bait - Mal hadn't been acting. Somewhere deep in his gut, that no rank, no power, no charm - no one could affect her loyalty to him. And yet, somehow, that just made him want to rip Warner apart even more.

She was pure and she was his pilot, his crew and someday she'd be his in every way that counted.

Mal's train of thought was interrupted by a thunder of applause as the ceremony concluded and an almighty symphony of sound erupted from the orchestra. Belatedly he started to clap as Inara and her husband rushed passed.

Well, that was that. Mal was pleased to feel just a small sort of sadness at the corner of his brain for history, for what had once been between their hearts at least. But there was no regret, no...

Mal frowned, feeling something wasn't quite right. He looked down to see River at his side - staring straight ahead her hands still folded in her lap.

Mal looked around, searching for the source of her distraction, but as he did, she shook her head in the negative and he got a better look at her face. She was blushing. These two things connected in a moment. She'd read his worry... and she was still blushing.

All the blood drained from Mal's face; he'd forgotten - for just a few minutes - he'd forgotten River could read his mind.

The day after Simon's Wedding:

Mal stared at the com for a long moment after signing off, then stared into the distance where he knew generally where Serenity was docked; Where he knew generally where River Tam sat within her. And somehow that was right in his 'verse. They went together now - River and Serenity - River and flying.

He put his boots up on the rusty old railing and tried to be content in that - tried not to feel that hollow feeling that he had no right to be feeling that that was all there was - all he was letting it be.