There was a sweet smell in the air as Rory and Jess made their way
down Main Street. The day was sunny, the sky clear, and the breeze light
as they walked huddled together, her arm linked with his, intimately
attached.
"You know this is very 'The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan'," Jess said referring to the famous Dylan album cover shot in New York City where Dylan is pictured walking arm in arm with his then-girlfriend Suze Rotolo.
"Speaking of Mr. Zimmerman, the Star's Hollow Poetry and Folk Festival is next weekend."
"Yeah," Jess said warily.
"I was thinking maybe we could go."
"You can't be serious," Jess said, suddenly stopping in front of Dose's store.
"I am," Rory said rocking on her heels. She knew this wasn't the type of thing Jess went for. In fact, Jess thought it was a badge of honor not to participate in anything organized by the Star's Hollow Town Council. So why was she goading him like this? Anxiety and fear. She wanted to make him mad in order to protect herself, and from the look of disgust on his face, she was succeeding.
"This is a place of business not a communal meeting place," she suddenly heard Taylor say from behind her. "If you're not coming in to buy anything, you'll have to move along."
"Sorry Taylor," Rory said.
"I can expect to see you two at the poetry and folk festival next Saturday, right?"
"Yes," Rory answered.
"No," Jess replied.
"This festival is a great opportunity to showcase the enormous talent we have here in Star's Hollow. Plus, it gives everyone a chance to show their town spirit and pride."
"Goody," Jess said sarcastically then took off towards Luke's.
"That sounds great Taylor," Rory said sheepishly then ran to catch up to Jess.
"Hey, that was really rude," she said breathlessly.
"That guy's a jackass and a blow heart. And why did you tell him we'd be attending that little atrocity otherwise known as the Star's Hollow Poetry and Folk Festival?"
"I thought it would be nice. We could bring a blanket and a picnic dinner, sit under the stars and listen to some music and poetry."
"The only two who'll probably participate will be Miss Patty and Kirk," Jess said rolling his eyes.
"They aren't that bad. Besides, they keep things interesting around here."
"They certainly do."
"Dean would go," she said under her breath but loud enough for Jess to hear.
"What," he said stopping in front of Luke's diner then turning to face her, his eyes flashing.
"Nothing," Rory said looking down at her shoes.
"Nothing," Jess said mockingly. "That didn't sound like nothing. It sounded like Dean would go. If you haven't noticed, I'm definitely not Dean."
"I'm sorry Jess, I don't know what came over me," she said reaching out to touch his arm.
He shrugged her hand away. "If you want to hook back up with Dean, you can," he said then turned and walked into Luke's diner.
Rory slowly turned and headed home. Sex with Jess was a scary proposition, and for the past two weeks, she'd been trying to deal with it but the only solution she'd come up with, was to pick fights with him in an attempt to avoid the whole sex issue altogether. She'd considered having sex with him just to be done with it, but her fears were too overwhelming. Jess was so much more experienced than she was. Also, she wasn't exactly sexy; in fact, she looked like someone's little sister - no curves, no boobs, no butt.
Paris had had sex with Jamie and that had turned into an utter disaster. Granted, she thought as she turned into the Gilmores' front yard, she didn't plan on talking about her sex life on C-SPAN but Paris was more sophisticated and in control than she was and look what sex had reduced her to. She was also afraid of doing it wrong. Jess was only her second boyfriend. In a way, it would have been better to have lost her virginity to Dean.
"Mom," she called out after letting herself into the house.
No answer, she must still be at the inn. Rory climbed the stairs to her bedroom. As soon as she entered the room, she went over to her CD player and turned on Ebba Forsberg's 'Been There.' The CD was melancholy coffeehouse folk and the perfect soundtrack to her current mood. She knew she had to do something soon about this Jess situation because her fears were paralyzing her.
Then suddenly she had an epiphany. Why hadn't she thought of this before?
"How did you get your mother to let you come to Hartford with me?" Rory asked as she and Lane settled into their seats on the bus.
"I told her I was going to a Korean Christian youth meeting at the university."
"Nice, very nice."
"Thank you. So where are we really going?"
"Border's."
"We have a bookstore in Star's Hollow."
"True, but in that Star's Hollow is a small town where everyone knows everyone else and people talk, I thought it would be better to make this particular purchase out of town."
"What are you planning to buy?"
"A how-to book."
"On what?" Lane asked as she changed the batteries in her portable CD player.
"On you know," Rory said brushing away an imaginary spec of dirt on her jeans.
"Huh," Lane replied, then suddenly her eyes grew wide and she dropped the batteries on the floor. An elderly woman seated in front of them turned around to see what the noise was.
"Sorry ma'am, I dropped my batteries," Lane said to the woman. Turning to face Rory, she leaned in close and lowered her voice. "Sex?"
"Uh huh," Rory said nodding her head.
"People write how-to books on that?!"
"Yes Lane. Whole bookstore sections are devoted to the subject."
"Okay, okay. Dumb thing to say. I obviously wasn't thinking. So you and Jess have decided to do it?" Lane said still whispering.
"Well, I know Jess has wanted to for a while. I think I'm ready. People say knowledge is power. If you know the facts about something, there's nothing to be afraid of, right?"
"This is sex we're talking about not ceramics."
After saying goodbye to Lane at the bus stop, Rory rushed home. With the sex book tucked safely under her arm, she took the long way around. The few people she saw, the better. She definitely didn't want to have to show anyone her purchase. As she walked near the edge of the woods, she could see a couple talking excitedly. Upon getting closer, she could see that it was Jess and Shane. She stopped. All she could do was stand there with her mouth open, no sound coming out. She imagined she resembled Edvard Munch's 'The Scream.' A thousand questions flooded her mind chief among them how and why. Then it hit her, Shane was the sluttiest girl in Star's Hollow. If Jess was talking to her, there was only one thing they could be talking about. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she turned away and headed home.
Her plan had been to let herself into the house and quietly climb the stairs to her bedroom without Lorelai hearing her. Unfortunately, she was betrayed by a creaking stair that made noise the second her foot touched it.
"Rory hon, is that you?" Lorelai called from the living room.
"Yes."
"Of course," Lorelai said her voice getting closer, "if you were a burglar, what would you say? Whatcha got there?" she asked pointing at Rory's bag.
"Nothing."
"Doesn't look like nothing to me. It looks like a book. Ooo, ooo, ooo, is that the new James Patterson book? People rag on him because he seems to come out with a new book every week, but I love that guy."
"No, it's not the new James Patterson book."
"Let me see," Lorelai said making a grab for the bag.
"Stop," Rory said sidestepping her. "Sorry mom, I'm not feeling well. I need to lie down."
"What's wrong sweetie?"
"I just don't feel well," Rory said her voice taking on a high, strained, tinny sound. She felt like crying then and there, but she had to wait until she was safely locked in her room.
"Do you want me to run out and get you something?" Lorelai asked concern flooding her face.
"No thanks," Rory said moving past her mother and quickly running upstairs to her room.
Closing the door behind her, Rory threw herself across her bed. The floodgates opened and the tears rushed out - hot, salty, blinding tears. She didn't know whether to be hurt or angry. She should have known better than to trust Jess. Other than their love of books, they really didn't have anything in common. Maybe that movie was right, maybe films like Lady and the Tramp did program girls like her to fall for jerks. No, she thought as she hit her pillow with her fist, Jess was special. He was creative, smart, literate, and totally different from any guy she'd ever known. She knew his bad boy act was just that, an act. But did he love her? He'd never said he did. Besides, if he truly cared for her, what was he doing in the woods with Shane?
The next morning Rory got up early and headed to Luke's. She had to talk to Jess. At 7:00am, it was clear and brisk outside so she rubbed her hands together to keep them warm as she walked along Main Street. She was agitated and nervous as evidenced by her flip-flopping stomach. Once she reached the diner, she stopped in front of its door and took a deep breath, then she resolutely pushed the door open. Slowly she made her way to the counter and sat down.
"Hey," Jess said wiping the space in front of her. "Coffee?"
"Two cups and three danishes to go."
"Two coffees and three danishes coming up."
"Thanks," Rory said looking down at the counter.
After pouring the coffee and putting the pastries in a bag, Jess stopped to stand in front of her. "I haven't seen you around lately," he said casually.
"I've been busy, and you?"
"Just school, my car, and here."
"That's not what I heard."
"What did you hear?"
"I heard that you and Shane are back together."
"That so. Who told you that?"
"That's not important. Is it true?"
"What do you think?"
"I don't know what to think."
"What do you mean you don't know what to think? Either you believe it's true or you don't."
"I saw you Jess. I saw the two of you yesterday in the woods."
"Now you're spying on me," he said angrily.
"No. I happened to be walking by and I saw the two of you talking."
"Are you sure we were just talking? Are you sure I wasn't feeling her up?" he asked sarcastically.
"Were you?"
"If you have to ask, then there's nothing more to say. That'll be $6.00 for the coffee and danishes."
Rory tried not to cry. She'd be damned if she'd allow Jess to see how upset she was. Gradually she stood up and pulled the $6.00 out of her pocket. After putting it on the counter, she grabbed the coffee and pastries, then walked out the door. She'd had enough. How stupid could she'd been to believe for a moment that Jess actually cared about her? He only cared about himself. Well, two could play that game; it was time for her to start looking out for herself. As far as she was concerned, she and Jess were through.
"You know this is very 'The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan'," Jess said referring to the famous Dylan album cover shot in New York City where Dylan is pictured walking arm in arm with his then-girlfriend Suze Rotolo.
"Speaking of Mr. Zimmerman, the Star's Hollow Poetry and Folk Festival is next weekend."
"Yeah," Jess said warily.
"I was thinking maybe we could go."
"You can't be serious," Jess said, suddenly stopping in front of Dose's store.
"I am," Rory said rocking on her heels. She knew this wasn't the type of thing Jess went for. In fact, Jess thought it was a badge of honor not to participate in anything organized by the Star's Hollow Town Council. So why was she goading him like this? Anxiety and fear. She wanted to make him mad in order to protect herself, and from the look of disgust on his face, she was succeeding.
"This is a place of business not a communal meeting place," she suddenly heard Taylor say from behind her. "If you're not coming in to buy anything, you'll have to move along."
"Sorry Taylor," Rory said.
"I can expect to see you two at the poetry and folk festival next Saturday, right?"
"Yes," Rory answered.
"No," Jess replied.
"This festival is a great opportunity to showcase the enormous talent we have here in Star's Hollow. Plus, it gives everyone a chance to show their town spirit and pride."
"Goody," Jess said sarcastically then took off towards Luke's.
"That sounds great Taylor," Rory said sheepishly then ran to catch up to Jess.
"Hey, that was really rude," she said breathlessly.
"That guy's a jackass and a blow heart. And why did you tell him we'd be attending that little atrocity otherwise known as the Star's Hollow Poetry and Folk Festival?"
"I thought it would be nice. We could bring a blanket and a picnic dinner, sit under the stars and listen to some music and poetry."
"The only two who'll probably participate will be Miss Patty and Kirk," Jess said rolling his eyes.
"They aren't that bad. Besides, they keep things interesting around here."
"They certainly do."
"Dean would go," she said under her breath but loud enough for Jess to hear.
"What," he said stopping in front of Luke's diner then turning to face her, his eyes flashing.
"Nothing," Rory said looking down at her shoes.
"Nothing," Jess said mockingly. "That didn't sound like nothing. It sounded like Dean would go. If you haven't noticed, I'm definitely not Dean."
"I'm sorry Jess, I don't know what came over me," she said reaching out to touch his arm.
He shrugged her hand away. "If you want to hook back up with Dean, you can," he said then turned and walked into Luke's diner.
Rory slowly turned and headed home. Sex with Jess was a scary proposition, and for the past two weeks, she'd been trying to deal with it but the only solution she'd come up with, was to pick fights with him in an attempt to avoid the whole sex issue altogether. She'd considered having sex with him just to be done with it, but her fears were too overwhelming. Jess was so much more experienced than she was. Also, she wasn't exactly sexy; in fact, she looked like someone's little sister - no curves, no boobs, no butt.
Paris had had sex with Jamie and that had turned into an utter disaster. Granted, she thought as she turned into the Gilmores' front yard, she didn't plan on talking about her sex life on C-SPAN but Paris was more sophisticated and in control than she was and look what sex had reduced her to. She was also afraid of doing it wrong. Jess was only her second boyfriend. In a way, it would have been better to have lost her virginity to Dean.
"Mom," she called out after letting herself into the house.
No answer, she must still be at the inn. Rory climbed the stairs to her bedroom. As soon as she entered the room, she went over to her CD player and turned on Ebba Forsberg's 'Been There.' The CD was melancholy coffeehouse folk and the perfect soundtrack to her current mood. She knew she had to do something soon about this Jess situation because her fears were paralyzing her.
Then suddenly she had an epiphany. Why hadn't she thought of this before?
"How did you get your mother to let you come to Hartford with me?" Rory asked as she and Lane settled into their seats on the bus.
"I told her I was going to a Korean Christian youth meeting at the university."
"Nice, very nice."
"Thank you. So where are we really going?"
"Border's."
"We have a bookstore in Star's Hollow."
"True, but in that Star's Hollow is a small town where everyone knows everyone else and people talk, I thought it would be better to make this particular purchase out of town."
"What are you planning to buy?"
"A how-to book."
"On what?" Lane asked as she changed the batteries in her portable CD player.
"On you know," Rory said brushing away an imaginary spec of dirt on her jeans.
"Huh," Lane replied, then suddenly her eyes grew wide and she dropped the batteries on the floor. An elderly woman seated in front of them turned around to see what the noise was.
"Sorry ma'am, I dropped my batteries," Lane said to the woman. Turning to face Rory, she leaned in close and lowered her voice. "Sex?"
"Uh huh," Rory said nodding her head.
"People write how-to books on that?!"
"Yes Lane. Whole bookstore sections are devoted to the subject."
"Okay, okay. Dumb thing to say. I obviously wasn't thinking. So you and Jess have decided to do it?" Lane said still whispering.
"Well, I know Jess has wanted to for a while. I think I'm ready. People say knowledge is power. If you know the facts about something, there's nothing to be afraid of, right?"
"This is sex we're talking about not ceramics."
After saying goodbye to Lane at the bus stop, Rory rushed home. With the sex book tucked safely under her arm, she took the long way around. The few people she saw, the better. She definitely didn't want to have to show anyone her purchase. As she walked near the edge of the woods, she could see a couple talking excitedly. Upon getting closer, she could see that it was Jess and Shane. She stopped. All she could do was stand there with her mouth open, no sound coming out. She imagined she resembled Edvard Munch's 'The Scream.' A thousand questions flooded her mind chief among them how and why. Then it hit her, Shane was the sluttiest girl in Star's Hollow. If Jess was talking to her, there was only one thing they could be talking about. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she turned away and headed home.
Her plan had been to let herself into the house and quietly climb the stairs to her bedroom without Lorelai hearing her. Unfortunately, she was betrayed by a creaking stair that made noise the second her foot touched it.
"Rory hon, is that you?" Lorelai called from the living room.
"Yes."
"Of course," Lorelai said her voice getting closer, "if you were a burglar, what would you say? Whatcha got there?" she asked pointing at Rory's bag.
"Nothing."
"Doesn't look like nothing to me. It looks like a book. Ooo, ooo, ooo, is that the new James Patterson book? People rag on him because he seems to come out with a new book every week, but I love that guy."
"No, it's not the new James Patterson book."
"Let me see," Lorelai said making a grab for the bag.
"Stop," Rory said sidestepping her. "Sorry mom, I'm not feeling well. I need to lie down."
"What's wrong sweetie?"
"I just don't feel well," Rory said her voice taking on a high, strained, tinny sound. She felt like crying then and there, but she had to wait until she was safely locked in her room.
"Do you want me to run out and get you something?" Lorelai asked concern flooding her face.
"No thanks," Rory said moving past her mother and quickly running upstairs to her room.
Closing the door behind her, Rory threw herself across her bed. The floodgates opened and the tears rushed out - hot, salty, blinding tears. She didn't know whether to be hurt or angry. She should have known better than to trust Jess. Other than their love of books, they really didn't have anything in common. Maybe that movie was right, maybe films like Lady and the Tramp did program girls like her to fall for jerks. No, she thought as she hit her pillow with her fist, Jess was special. He was creative, smart, literate, and totally different from any guy she'd ever known. She knew his bad boy act was just that, an act. But did he love her? He'd never said he did. Besides, if he truly cared for her, what was he doing in the woods with Shane?
The next morning Rory got up early and headed to Luke's. She had to talk to Jess. At 7:00am, it was clear and brisk outside so she rubbed her hands together to keep them warm as she walked along Main Street. She was agitated and nervous as evidenced by her flip-flopping stomach. Once she reached the diner, she stopped in front of its door and took a deep breath, then she resolutely pushed the door open. Slowly she made her way to the counter and sat down.
"Hey," Jess said wiping the space in front of her. "Coffee?"
"Two cups and three danishes to go."
"Two coffees and three danishes coming up."
"Thanks," Rory said looking down at the counter.
After pouring the coffee and putting the pastries in a bag, Jess stopped to stand in front of her. "I haven't seen you around lately," he said casually.
"I've been busy, and you?"
"Just school, my car, and here."
"That's not what I heard."
"What did you hear?"
"I heard that you and Shane are back together."
"That so. Who told you that?"
"That's not important. Is it true?"
"What do you think?"
"I don't know what to think."
"What do you mean you don't know what to think? Either you believe it's true or you don't."
"I saw you Jess. I saw the two of you yesterday in the woods."
"Now you're spying on me," he said angrily.
"No. I happened to be walking by and I saw the two of you talking."
"Are you sure we were just talking? Are you sure I wasn't feeling her up?" he asked sarcastically.
"Were you?"
"If you have to ask, then there's nothing more to say. That'll be $6.00 for the coffee and danishes."
Rory tried not to cry. She'd be damned if she'd allow Jess to see how upset she was. Gradually she stood up and pulled the $6.00 out of her pocket. After putting it on the counter, she grabbed the coffee and pastries, then walked out the door. She'd had enough. How stupid could she'd been to believe for a moment that Jess actually cared about her? He only cared about himself. Well, two could play that game; it was time for her to start looking out for herself. As far as she was concerned, she and Jess were through.