Chapter 8 – Where you belong

It has been a week since Buffy woke up from her coma, her friends, Xander and Anya have been staying at the Summers house ever since then trying to help Buffy fit back into her life. Throughout the week Buffy kept wishing that Spike would come back and bring James with him, but every day had turned out t be a disappointment. Today is Wednesday, Dawn is at school, Anya at work as was Joyce, leaving Buffy and Xander alone to talk.

"So how you feeling Buff?" Xander asks walking into her room, where she is sitting on her window still staring out at the world, she takes in a long breathe and turns to see him walking over to the window to stand behind her,

"Well I'm alive," she says simply, with no feeling of happiness in her voice. Xander puts a hand on her shoulder,

"You miss him still, don't you" he says more of a statement than a question. Buffys eyes fill with tears as she remembers her last night with Spike, or at least what she thought was the last night with him,

'Hey sweetie' Buffy says walking into the living room where Spike is holding James,

'Hey Babe' he hands Buffy James and sits her down on his lap, with James on hers, they turn the TV onto cartoons channels and watches as James's eyes are glued to the TV, soon after he is fast asleep on his mothers lap, Buffy slowly stands up and takes him upstairs to bed, she comes back down to find Spike sprawled out on the couch watching TV, she walks into the living room and sits in between his legs, and lays her head on his chest, he strokes her hair softly, as she draws imaginary patterns in his chest with her finger, after an hour the TV, is off and Buffy has fallen asleep Spike is watching her sleep, when he decides to take her to bed, he picks her up and she moans at the sudden moving, she flutters her eyes open to see she is being carried by Spike up the stairs he smiles down at her and finally gets to their room, he lays her down on the bed and sits down next to her, she curls up into him, both still dressed and falls back to sleep, Spike following soon after.

"Yeh, I do." Xander nods knowingly, having missed Buffy for the years she was in a coma and still missed Willow,

"I'm sorry Buff," Buffy continues to look out the window,

"I miss Willow, why couldn't she be here instead of me," she says quietly the tears beginning to fall, Xander sits down next to her.

"We all miss Willow, but Buffy she wouldn't want that, you know that. You know how religious she was, she's up their with the goddesses looking down on now." Buffy smiles despite herself,

"Yeh, she never did believe god was a man," she looks at Xander and sees how happy he is, probably because she was smiling, "I just her, I feel like I've woken up and everything is different, like this isn't where I belong," Xander takes her in his arms and holds her in a gentle embrace,

"This is where you belong Buffy, things are different now, but your strong and I know you will be able to deal with it," Buffy smiles softly, but her eyes show that she doesn't believe what Xander as saying.

Sorry Xander but I wont, and I don't want to. I just want to go back to sleep, be back with Spike and James, that's where I belong.