DISCLAIMER: I would really love to own Fullmetal Alchemist and Bleach, but Hiromu Arakawa and Kubo Tite watched them over so tightly. Oh well, I am not as brave as Koinu-chan, so what to do. Besides, if I really consider kidnapping them I have to think of a way to quieten Edward and Ichigo down. Haha…

THE DAMNED THING
by xinping

One is a shinigami who have no control over his soul strength.
One is a prodigy state alchemist with a steel arm and leg.
When the two meets, that's when all hell breaks loose.

CHAPTER ONE: ALCHEMY AND MOON CUTTER

Edward Elric sighed for the umpteenth time. He was on a flight from Amestris to a country called Japan, one he had never heard of before. Perhaps, he would never have known such a country exist if Roy Mustang hadn't told him.

Roy Mustang. The Flame Alchemist had sent Major Armstrong after Edward when he was taking a well-deserved break at Risembool. Major Armstrong had hugged Edward with his super strength, and caused Edward's bones to literally snapped, crackled and popped, after which Edward had difficulty standing.

Anyway, the Major dragged Edward back to Central and the Fullmetal Alchemist was dismayed when his superior slapped a mission on him.

"You are to go to Japan immediately and meet up with a shinigami called Kurosaki Ichigo. Here," Roy slapped a thick pile of papers in front of Edward, "Is all the relevant information. Go through it yourself; I am lazy to read to you."

Edward stared at the papers and groaned. "I thought I made it clear I will do something for you only if it's related to the Philo-"

"This is precisely what I am doing." Roy cut him off. Edward glared at him. Roy continued, "From what information I had obtained, it appears there is a magical stone stolen by a man called Aizen Sosuke from a place called Soul Society."

"Soul Society?" said Edward incredulously. He half-expected the Flame Alchemist to burst out laughing and tell him it was all a joke. But Roy Mustang's expression remained solemn and Edward realised he was serious.

Edward went over what Roy had told him earlier and said slowly, "So you think this magical stone could be a Philosopher's Stone?" He looked at his superior.

He didn't need any answers. The answer was clear as it could be – the Philosopher's Stone was in Japan, stolen by a pervert called Aizen and all there was left to do was to go there and grab it.

Easier said than done.

Edward sighed again and glared at the thick pile of papers on his lap, the information Roy Mustang had given to him. The flight would last ten hours and there was no point wasting all those time just sighing and watching the clouds.

He pulled the papers towards him and began reading.

- x - x - x - x -

"Why me?"

Kuchiki Rukia glared at the carrot-top guy in front of her. "Why you?" She echoed coolly, "Why you? Because you're the strongest among us all, that's why!"

"But," Kurosaki Ichigo protested, trying to change Rukia's mind. "What about you guys? You can come with me!"

"No way," said a shadow in the corner of the dimly-lit room. Abarai Renji stepped into the light, his red hair tied up in a ponytail as usual. He eyed Ichigo darkly. "You're the one chosen to go, so you have to go. As for us, we are staying here until you come back. And no buts," he added quickly, seeing the expression on Ichigo's face.

Ichigo frowned and folded his arms in front of his chest, glaring at both of them. Both of them glared back with the same intensity. They blinked when the door opened and sunlight flooded the room. Inoue Orihime looked at them innocently, not knowing there had been a battle inside the room.

"What are you guys up to?" She asked, closing the door while balancing a basket of fruits.

Ichigo glared one last time at Rukia and Renji. Muttering "nothing", he opened the door and walked out of the room. He stuffed his hands in the pockets and began the long walk to the airport.

- x - x - x - x -

Edward Elric felt lost. It was especially in this kind of situation he wished he was taller and had a heavier built, not a shorty PLUS a small fry. He grinded his teeth and cursed all the people passing him under his breath.

Earlier just now, when he had arrived at Tokyo International Airport, he had gone to the Information booth to ask for a map. Unfortunately, the man there had mistaken him for a lost kid. "I'm not a kid, dammit!" Edward had screamed. The man looked taken aback. Edward read the man's name tag – Night Tenjo. He twisted his face into an ugly grin.

"Mr Night Tenjo," Edward edged closer to the man, making his voice sounded as menacing as possible, "You'd better give me the map now or," he pulled his right glove off slightly, exposing the metal limb underneath, "I'll deform your pretty face." He gave the man a false smile.

Night Tenjo fainted on the spot. Obviously, he had a weak heart. Edward grabbed a map off the booth, smirking to himself, only to be overcome by a new problem – he couldn't read Japanese.

So now the prodigy state alchemist was sitting in one of the airport's plastic chairs, uncomfortable and definitely NOT happy with his current situation, which was holding a map full of Japanese words and hoping he would find a way somehow to make sense of the words. No such luck yet.

Edward heard the announcement jingle. It was for the twentieth time, if he had not lost count. However, instead of the usual flight announcement, his name was being broadcasted and hontoo ni, it was not a dream.

"Would Mr Edward Elric please move to the East Wing entrance. Thank You." The female voice said coolly.

As Edward unstuck himself from the plastic airport chair and picked up his luggage, he thought, "Here comes Edward Elric!" This cheered him up a little and he skipped his way to the East Wing entrance, wherever it is.

- x - x - x - x -

Kurosaki Ichigo searched the crowd with his seemingly-lifeless slit glare for a 'blond kid with show-off antenna'. At least, that was the description given to him by Renji. However, Ichigo had a tendency to romantise things, and his brain had rearranged the description into something more exaggerating. (IMAGE OF EDWARD BY ICHIGO CENSORED.)

He was just about to give up when he felt someone kicked him in the shin. Not once, but trice. It was NOT an accident. Ichigo glanced down and saw a kid staring up at him with a frown on his face. "You Kurosaki Ichigo?" The kid enquired.

Ichigo gave the kid one of his own frowns. "Who are you?" He asked, making his already narrowed eyes even narrower. He also pouted – accordingly of course, a guy pouting is quite a sight – and altogether this made him look like the world's most spoilt brat.

A look of annoyance flashed across the kid's face. "I'm Edward Elric," he said, crumpling up the map he was holding. He frowned again. "ARE you Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"Yes, I am," Ichigo said in an exasperated tone. A zillion thoughts zipped through his head. This shorty was Edward Elric. He certainly was blonde and had a show-off antenna, but not the way Ichigo had imagined him to be. (ONCE AGAIN, IMAGE OF EDWARD BY ICHIGO CENSORED.)

Edward was looking at Ichigo up and down, again and again. His face slowly went red and his hands shook. "Are we getting on?" he asked in a strained tone, layered thick with sarcasm. Ichigo stared at him. Edward was obviously in rage, but over what, he did not know. He shrugged. "Let's," he said, and led the way out of the airport.

After thirty minutes of walking, Edward began to feel tired. He glanced at Ichigo, who was walking in a gawky but energetic sort of way. He sighed. The fact that Ichigo had left him to carry his entire luggage himself did little to improve his mood. "Cure of sake!" he called snappily. Actually, Edward couldn't pronounce Ichigo's name, so he devised a little system, which was very near to the correct pronunciation, only not near enough.

Ichigo continued walking. He didn't realise Edward was calling him; he just knew that Edward was yelling something babblish. Cure of sake, indeed! Strange kid, Ichigo thought, still walking but did not look back.

Edward began to feel exasperated. "Cure of sake!" he called again. Still no respond from the carrot-top guy. He then decided he must have the pronunciation wrong. He thought for a while, then called out, "Hey, strawberry!"

For those who do not understand Japanese, Ichigo means strawberry. Even though it is his own name, he hated it when someone called him strawberry. It makes him feel like a fruit head. Ichigo turned around furiously to face Edward. Finally, a response.

"What do you want?" Ichigo yelped.

Edward tried to hide his smile. Somehow, he managed to put up a straight face before asking, "How far do we still have to walk?"

Ichigo thought for a while before replying. "About five kilometres, I think." He said flatly. He watched Edward's face fall. Just to tease his soon-to-be comrade, he added, "or maybe more. I'm not sure. I'm not good at sums."

Five kilometres! Or maybe more! Edward felt like fainting. He had never walked such a long distance before. We must have covered approximately two kilometres in the past thirty minutes, Edward calculated. Two plus five… OMG! How did this Ichigo manage?!

Ichigo must had read Edward's mind, because he said, "If we are fast enough, we'll reach a bus stop in fifteen minutes and take a bus to our destination. Honestly, you think I walk all the way to pick up a shorty?"

"I-!" Edward was furious.

It was Ichigo's turn to smirk. "We better get going if we want to get there before sunset. Here, I'll help you carry this." He went over to Edward, took one of Edward's bags and resumed walking. Edward had no choice but to follow Ichigo.

That night after dinner at Ichigo's house, Edward sat on the floor in Ichigo's room, feeling bewildered. A guy with red hair and a girl with hair the colour of sand had climbed into the room through the window. What happened next was a lot more confusing. From the ceiling jumped down a bald man, a beautiful woman and a kid with silver hair. Then, the girl so fondly called Rukia by Ichigo's family had entered the room too, through the door though.

Everyone was talking to him at once. Edward was overwhelmed at how friendly everyone was. Well, all except that Rukia girl. She was talking quietly with Ichigo at a corner of the room, occasionally taking hostile glances at him.

Suddenly, Rukia clapped her hands loudly. The talking stopped. Rukia smiled a little and said, "A very warm welcome to our comrade, Edward Elric! He specialises in Alchemy and has quite an IQ. Now," there was a dangerous glint in her eyes and Edward had a sudden urge to run away, "our alchemist friend will demonstrate his skill, with the help of Ichigo!"

Everyone clapped. Someone dragged Edward onto his feet. Ichigo grinned and stepped forward. Edward winced involuntarily. He had seen that grin before on Shou Tucker, the Sewing-Life Alchemist before he was murdered by Scar. "Draw your weapons," he vaguely heard Rukia said, then – "FIGHT!"

Edward quickly transmuted himself a finely-crafted sword from the floor while Ichigo turned himself into a shinigami and drew his sword, the Moon Cutter. Their eyes locked before they charged at each other.

There was only one thing they see in each other as they sparred in the room full of people – determination.

A/N: Well, how was it? Actually, combining Bleach and Fullmetal Alchemist was my friend's idea. I remember we were rather excited about the idea and decided to start on it straight away. That was when we realised the plots each of us thought up were completely different. So we decided to expand the plot differently, but still use the same idea.

ALERT: xinping has a lifetime history of plagiarism and carelessness. Pardon her if you find her copying your idea or make stupid grammar mistakes.

Coming up next: THE MOON AND THE STAR

Please don't forget to review!