Okay here's chapter 4!! Sorry about short chapters, I do try to make them longer but... I like to keep them short and sweet. :D Reviews motivate me to write faster! So review!! Enjoy!
Chapter4-Grin
BPOV
Dear Bella,
I don't know how to tell you this... but I'm leaving. Not for good but for a while. I'm thinking of going to England or perhaps Japan. In all of my existence that's one place I've never been. I'm going alone, no one else is as fed up with Deryk's shit as much as I am. I'm sorry to be leaving at such a bad time but I can't take this anymore. I'll be back, I promise... I'll make things better as soon as you're better.
All my love, Edward.
I read and reread his letter countless times. The once perfect white paper was no crumpled at the edges and tear stained. I just couldn't believe he was gone and at a time like this even! One minute I was angry at him, the next I was understanding. I wasn't sure what to do anymore.
"Ms. Swan?" the nurse called from the door, "It's time for your appointment with Dr. Weselbub."
I rolled my eyes and stood up shakily. What the hell kind of name is Weselbub anyway?
"I think it would be better for me to wheel you Ms. Swan." She smiled one of those fake grins, I wanted to hit her.
"I'm perfectly capable of walking, thank you very much." I replied and gave her the same fake smile she probably gave to all of her patients.
She nodded and walked a few steps behind me as I made my way to the psychiatrists office at the end of the ward. I knocked politely and then let myself in.
"Good Morning Ms. Swan." She said politely, she had the same fake smile as the nurse did. They must have had to train themselves to plaster that grin on their faces everyday.
"It's Bella, and yes what a good morning it is." I grimaced and looked outside. It was gloomy and rainy like always, I laughed inside.
"You may leave, Anna." Ms. Weselbub waved to the nurse at the door, I turned around and put on that fake grin.
"So Bella," the doctor began, " Is there anything you would like to talk about today?"
I had been in rehab for 3 months now. The first month I was going through intense withdrawal symptoms and was unable to see the psychiatrist. For the past two months I had been seeing Dr. Weselbub, she wasn't helping me even though she thought I was.
I shook my head and she sighed.
"What about Christmas presents? Did you get any?"
I scoffed and looked out the window.
"Bella, you have got to start talking! You'll never leave this place if you keep shutting people out."
I shrugged my shoulders, my eyes started to water. Why? I wasn't exactly sure, but I think I liked being here. It's not that I had any friends here but everyday for two hours someone talked to me. I smiled to myself. Someone was actually talking to me... and I was pushing that person away.
"I bought myself a couple of CD's." I said.
The doctor smiled, "What did you get?"
"Two Linkin Park CD's and Nickelback."
"That's good. What's your favorite song out those CD's?"
"Numb by Linkin Park... It's exactly how I feel... how I felt for a really long time."
"You said felt. Meaning you used to feel that way. What changed that?"
"Being here."
"Why is that Bella?"
"People talk to me here... they're trying to help me."
"Yes, we are trying to help." She paused and smiled at me, " Now if you don't mind I think there are other issues we need to discuss."
We had reached the topic I didn't want to discuss.
"Can you tell me why you started doing drugs, Bella?"
"I was alone, they helped fill the hole in my chest." My eyes started to water and before I knew it they were falling down my pale cheeks like waterfalls. "It was l-like they were my only f-friend. I was nothing with- without them."
I wiped furiously at the tears that stained my porcelain skin. I never cried when I cut. I hated to cry, it showed people that I was weak. I'm not weak.
"I didn't do anything to any of those people I'm forced to live with!" I screamed, standing up and kicking the chair out from behind me so it hit the doctor's bookcase. She sat calmly behind her desk. "I never said one bad thing about them. I sat there and took their crap everyday and not once did I say one bad thing about them! I never will. And they could care less about me."
I crumpled to the ground shaking in anger.
Dr. Weselbub walked around and kneeled down beside me. She placed her hand gently under my chin and forced me to look in her eyes.
"I think we're getting somewhere." She smiled and I smiled back.
Okay so I'd like to thank everyone that reviewed so here it goes. Thank you, arabianangel, VintageLyre, Mollytigerc, xoambahmariexo, Gen Bellamy Ennis, hurricanekatrina, GtotheAtotheBBY, kyasurin15, GaurdianAngel777, goth queen 153, c00k1e, Murmmer, vamp-wolf-lover, lilvoice1, I love you all! (I'm sorry if I forgot any of you!)