To Hell and back just for the craic
Chapter 7: Soldiers, spooks and a Summon
Tseng was half buried in witness accounts, soldier reports and videos. The accounts were not very useful, as each one told a taller tale then the last one. He knew the accounts he was looking for was there. The videos had been lost and only audio files were left full of clanging, shouting and shooting. The Feartroop Soldiers had taken the cameras out for the whole hotel sector. Tseng knew that the only halfway accurate accounts would be found with the Snoogles and the Turks.
A face appeared in the paperwork making Tseng scream. It was Rosie.
"Hello sir. Working hard are we?"
"Trying to." Tseng used most of his self restraint not to go berserk.
"How about a coffee?"
"Yes please."
"Ok." She smiled as she left the pile of paperwork to come in around him. He made a grab at a random stack of paper and brought them out. By a remarkable stroke of luck they were exactly the papers he wasn't looking for. Two hours of Rosie helping him, giving off about his filing and supplying him with coffee and he was set.
Incident Report: Form Z9MGD666
Reporting officer's name: Tseng
Date: 32/9/3503
Shinra Division: The Turks
Report:
You will have to forgive all the Kupos. I have taken the liberty of taking passages from the Snoogles accounts as well as others to describe the battle as all video footage of the attack was lost. I will start with Snoogle accounts before moving to the Turks accounts.
Officer's name: Tsenoogle
My counterpart and I led the charge. We could spend no time being cautious. When being trained I was taught that you could not expect to survive a second-class soldier attack by acting hesitantly with caution. You must rely solely on instinct.
The instant that we entered the graveyard they were upon us. They came in two waves kupo. They believed that it would only take two waves of them to finish us off. As my cohorts and I proved; they were very much mistaken kupo. Perhaps it was because they were arrogant I am not sure kupo but they underestimated us greatly. They tried to divert us with the first wave to trap us in a classic sandwich movement. Those that avoided the first wave would get trapped in between the first and second waves.
Being soldiers they had the use of materia as well and since they were fighting to prevent their greatest fear happening to them all the stops were being pulled out. Gunblades a plenty to be seen kupo. More than once I felt that I was going to lose my pom-pom. Rudle and Renogle were sticking with the Turk called Rude. Elenoogle was fighting alongside her human counterpart. We found that each moogle fighting alongside their human counterpart augmented each others abilities. If this is ever covered on official documentation it should do wonders for human moogle relations.
Reporting officer: Tseng
By a complete freak occurrence the two Rudes came out with exactly the same report. Seriously word for word, except the kupos. Hojo will probably want to run tests at this point and I must request that this does not happen as I am short staffed as it is. Anyway here is the report.
Reporting officer: Rude/Rudle
Ran into dark room. Lots of tough guys (kupo). Didn't take long to knock the crap out of them (kupo). Renogle was annoying but funny. We rock (kupo).
Reporting officer: Tseng
A person and creature of few words. Before I give the full account the two Elenas should give their accounts. They decided to submit a joint video report. Don't ask. As to Renogles report I refuse to submit it as it is for lack of a better description, absolute gibberish. Seriously there's giant robots and everything in there.
Reporting officer: Elena/Elenoogle
Two waving hands blurred the camera view with one hand and one paw.
"Hey Rufie. Oh hold on a second." The two of them fixed their hair while trying to bring the camera into focus.
"Ok that's better. So you start Elenoogle."
"No you start."
"Ok we'll do it at the same time."
"Get better soon Rufie." Elena continued.
"Me and Elenoogle are like best friends now. She totally kicks ass and she told me a few things about you Tseng." While she giggled there was a threatening undertone that Tseng didn't like. Elena continued while Elenoogle waved and blew kisses from behind her.
"Yeah so like the moogles have a parallel universe on the other side of the House of Moogle game although it's only one of the doors. Here's the cool thing though, we can cover each others weaknesses and enhance the strengths because we know each other so well. Plus we have doubles the cuteness factor. The feartroops didn't have a chance." Elenoogle put a paw to Elena's ear and whispered something.
"Hmm you're right. Tseng likes to do the explaining bit so we'll leave it up to him. When you're better Rufie we have to have a chat about something which might affect the future of the Turks. Okay bye."
"Bye bye kupo."
Tseng's brows lowered, he would have to get a bug into their little talk somehow. He called for Rosie and asked her to acquire a few when she was making the next coffee. He then thanked her profusely before getting back to typing.
Reporting Officer: Tseng
Ok with all the information previous to this report not revealing anything in particular I was forced to write this report. We entered the graveyard, as Tsenoogle said, acting on instinct. The first six came through with iced cross blades. The Snoogles and the Turks jumped and opened fire acting as one, which was a beautiful thing to see as organized chaos is usually the way things happen for us, as you know by now.
The soldiers were protected from the esuna with reflect spells. Luckily they were not immune to physical attacks as the Cait Sith units grabbed the first wave after we jumped over them. Rudle produced a reflectaga materia and promptly used it on the Turks and Snoogles. We turned to face the second wave coming towards us. A crunching sound told us that the first wave had broken away from their Cait Sith captors. More Caits moved in. We were trapped. Elena proved her worth if a little indirectly. She threw a Blindaga materia at Renogle who was infuriating her by poking her. Thanks to the reflect barrier it reflected off us and onto everything else.
The soldiers stilled themselves in an attempt to sense where they should attack next. This is where Renogle came into his own as he decided to have a massive game of 'Pokage' and the soldiers were his targets. He distracted them long enough for more Cait Siths to move in and break a few blades, rendering the soldiers' physical attacks useless. Unfortunately Renogles prank backfired as the soldiers managed to surround Elena and Elenoogle. The rest of us were prying off and shooting helmets off the soldiers' heads.
The mako in their eyes lit up the room allowing me to see what they were up to. They were preparing a ring of firaga, which is a tactical move designed by myself so that none could survive it. Elena and Elenoogle were performing roundhouse kicks to disarm the soldiers of the materia. They managed to get some but I knew it wouldn't be enough. You only needed two materia to go off before a chain reaction would go off. Tsenoogle understood and the same fire I felt inside me showed in his eyes.
I leapt over the nearest soldier's head and he rolled under his legs. We both offered a hand to our corresponding Elenas.
"Cyclone" we all shouted. Elena and I started spinning to run along the soldiers faces horizontally in order to stun them. Tsenoogle and Elenoogle ran horizontally along the arms, kicking the materia out of them. Then each one of us grabbed an arm and a paw spinning each other. The reflect spell time had past a couple of minutes ago. With our free arms we each took out a water pistol and soaked the soldiers back to normality. All the while Renogle made a game out of it by jumping over the streams and poking the soldiers that got hit.
The Cait Siths cheered when it was done. When the soldiers were straightened out we headed with them into the hotel. Golden Devil was waiting for us at the reception desk. Two fake ghosts popped out of nowhere. One of the more experienced soldiers iced them. I sighed.
"I know it's a fake Reno."
"Ohh Mr Tseng Sir. Sooo sorry. Oh finally with Elena I see. I wonder if there was another reason for coming to the hotel. Bam chikka wah wah. Hah hah." It was at this point that I asked the others to leave as he had just crossed the line. He did nothing but grin.
"Time to test the summons out I think."
"You got nothing I can't tear down with my bare hands."
"Kupo" My counterpart agreed. I felt it was ok for him to stay as well he was me really.
"Oh really. Let's see where this goes then. Summon Fear level one." A red light filled the room then quickly faded. Golden Devil was left holding a microphone. A loud voice came out of the microphone.
"I am the narrator. Tremble before me."
"What kind of weak ass creature is that?"
"Tsenoogle went psycho on Tseng's leg." Suddenly the small Turk went psycho on me tearing into flesh and ripping the suit.
"He stopped." Tsenoogle did so. I looked up at Reno.
"Oh no." Golden Devil smiled.
"Indeed."
At this point the other Snoogles and Turks burst in. Rude pulled a masterful move as he used silence on the microphone. I wiped my brow as the microphone dropped to the floor with a dull clank. Golden Devil, who was also under the spells influence, gave me a look that said "Oh crap." To which we replied by giving him an evil grin. We grabbed him by the tail and beat him until he could barely move. Then we dragged him onto the counter of the reception desk and doused him with the esuna potion. Nothing happened. Both Tsenoogle and I slapped our heads.
"Come on. We'll have to take him to Hojo and see if he has anything for us yet."
Tseng relaxed for a bit, letting his fingers cool off. Rosie came in with yet another coffee and Tseng's bugs.
"Excellent. Thank you Rosie." Tseng grinned evilly as she left him to his thoughts.
Hopw you are enjoying it so far. Please R&R.
Cheers
Wolf