This SongFic (AKON Doesn't Matter) is TOTALLY DEDICATED TO RACH, 100 PERCENT!
I highly recommend you listen to this song while reading!
PART TWO: Doesn't Matter
She knew they should have destroyed that tape! God what were they thinking keeping that thing around! Of course someone was going to come across it!
Munch! Fucking Munch!
eoeoeoeoeoFlashbackeoeeoeoeo
"Benson you're going to be late for court. Munch, Stabler go interview the witnesses. Fin I need that DD5 on my desk ASAP." Cragen gave strict orders and everyone went on there separate ways.
Elliot thought nothing of it when he offered to drive. Never once thinking that Munch would snoop around and find the tape labeled: 0018323. He didn't think that he would even know what case it was, it was a number for Christ sake! And never did he ever think that Munch would actually steal it, let alone LISTEN to it!
eoeoeoeoeoENDFlashbackeoeeoeoeo
"You guys can't do that." Munch told Elliot as they sat in an uncomfortable silence at the stop light.
"Listen Munch, it's none of your business." Elliot said wanting to drop the subject immediately. Ever since Munch found out about Olivia and Elliot, he tried to talk them out of it. Telling them how stupid it was, how they were going to get into so much trouble when Cragen found out--which he would.
"Listen Elliot, I know it's none of my business, but I love you guys, and I don't want to see Cragen take you down--which he will." He always throws that in, how Cragen will find out.
"You know what Munch? It doesn't even matter because we decided to end it." He said in a gruff.
"Well it's for the better." John said with a little bit of an attitude.
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Olivia crashed on to her four poster bed. She smiled when his scent hit her nose. God how she had loved that. Smelling him on her sheets…well smelling him on her actually…
She wanted, needed to scream, she needed to vent. But she had no one to talk too right now.
FLASHBACK
"Jeez Liv, you are definitely getting some!" Casey said as I walked into the bar. I couldn't help but grin. Yes, I was blushing, with good reason too! Elliot had just given me three earth shattering orgasms about 40 minutes ago.
I didn't feel like hiding it anymore. Especially with my friends---well I guess my so-called-friends. So I spilled.
"I'm sleeping with Elliot." I said very casually as if ordering a cup of coffee. I took a drink of my beer and waited for her response.
About 10 seconds later I am slapping her back as she has a coughing attack.
"ARE YOU TWO COMPLETELY CRAZY! Why would you do that? You guys are going to lose your jobs! Jesus Christ Olivia! Is a roll in the hay worth it?"
Whoa…and she didn't stop there.
"You guys fight all the time! You guys are going to throw away your partnership? And for what? Sex? It won't last Liv. I hate to tell you but it won't. And wasn't he going back to Kathy?"
END FLASHBACK
Cause we gon' fight
oh yes we gon' fight
Believe we gon' fight
we gon' fight
fight for our right to love yeah
I roll over on the bed, wanting so desperately to just talk to him. Tell him I'm sorry. That I think it could work---that it could just be something…amazing.
But fuck that. I'm not calling him. When I talked to him about what Casey had said he had exploded, and of course we fought, cause shit, that's what we do best right? Wrong! Having sex is what we do best…ha ha…
But anyways, he brought up what John said and I could feel my head begin to spin.
Fuck.
John has been in love with me for eight years. Eight years he has asked me out numerous times and numerous times I have denied him, turned him down flat. I wasn't a bitch about it or anything, because I love John. I do, I just don't love John, like I love Elliot. Not even close, not even the littlest bit close. Elliot is on a completely different playing field.
Yeah. My love for Elliot is like nothing I have ever felt before. And that is why I turned John down every single time, and that I why John doesn't want Elliot and I together, because I love Elliot, and not John ---Oh My God. I love Elliot.
I fucking love Elliot!
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you
Nobody wanna see us together
nobody thought we'd last forever
I lost my temper. I didn't mean too, but I was pissed. Pissed at Casey, not at Liv. I know why Casey didn't want us together. She has had a crush on me since day one. She even asked me out a couple of times once I got separated. I cancelled every time. Little did she know that the only reason I got divorced was because I was in Olivia and had been for eight years.
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you
Nobody wanna see us together
nobody thought we'd last forever
I feel I'm hopin' and prayin'
things between us gon' get better
Men steady comin' after you
women steady comin' after me
Seem like everybody wanna go for self
and don't wanna respect boundaries
Tellin' you all those lies
just to get on your side
I have to tell Elliot about John, and how he is just jealous…awe poor Munch. I should set him up with Casey. That girl has got to get laid. But yes, tell Elliot that it doesn't matter what John thinks, or what Casey thinks for that matter. They are just jealous. Cause yes, I know that Casey has had a crush on Elliot ever since she played against him in softball.
But I must admit there was a couple secrets
I held inside
But just know that I tried
to always apologize
And I'ma have you first always in my heart
to keep you satisfied
As I walk into my apartment all I can hear is Dickie's loud ass music. I am just about to scream at him and make him turn that crap down. But before I can open my mouth, I hear the words, and they hit me like a train, and I'm like a statue unable to move, and I just let the music run through my body.
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon' fight
oh yes we gon' fight
Believe we gon' fight
we gon' fight
fight for our right to love yeah
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you
If she doesn't take me back I don't know what I'll do. I was so stupid, I should not have agreed to end things. I just wanted her to be happy, I wanted to do what ever she wanted, even if that meant not seeing her.
And yes it broke my heart, and that is probably why I really lost my temper, because I shattered into a billion pieces.
But fuck that. I know she loves me, and I know she just got scared because of what John and Casey said. But you know what? It doesn't matter.
Got every right to wanna leave
got every right to wanna go
got every right to hit the road
and never talk to me no more
you don't even have to call
even check for me at all
because the way I been actin' lately
has been off the wall
Especially toward you
As I drive over to Olivia's I think about how time I wasted. Wasted time with her. The thought of being with her all time drives me crazy. I could kick myself, really kick myself for asking Kathy to take me back.
Instead of dealing with my feelings and tell Olivia that I was so fucking in love with her I couldn't breathe; I first make out with that wretched frizzy haired mumbling WACK job, and then I ask my ex wife to take me back! What the HELL was I thinking?
Puttin' girls before you
and they watchin' everything I been doin'
just to hurt you
most of it just ain't you
ain't true
and they won't show you
how much of a queen you are to me
and why I love you baby
When I knock on her door I can hear her footsteps pad across the hard wood floors.
She opens the door and looks completely surprised to see me standing there.
"Elliot."
"Liv---I have to talk to you. I've been thinking and--"
"El---Wait--"
I put my finger to her lips, "Shhh. Please I just have to get this out," I take a deep breath, and take a step closer to her, "I don't care Liv. I don't care about what John or Casey think Liv. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter."
"El--"
"No, please I have to finish." I grab her hands in mine and pull them up to my chest, "Liv, I don't care if Cragen finds out, I don't. I'll leave SVU Liv, I'll quit being a Detective all together if it means we can be together. Because my job, no my life means nothing if you're not in it. And I can't be your friend anymore Liv. I can't do it any longer, I've done it for eight years and it was torture. I need you with me, I need to feel you, touch you, kiss you," I lean over and whisper in a hot breath, "make love to you."
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe
Cause we gon' fight
oh yes we gon' fight
Believe we gon' fight
we gon' fight
fight for our right to love yeah
I can see the tears in her eyes, but I won't let her look away. I wipe the tears that are falling "During the Gitano case, at the bus station---I almost lost you Liv. Those 30 seconds when I thought---I saw your hand on your neck, and I felt my chest get so tight I thought I was going to suffocate. I saw the blood leak through your fingers and it was as if time stopped and I was living in complete nightmare. I thought you were dying, and I didn't get to tell you."
She searches my eyes, as if she doesn't quite understand what I'm saying, "I didn't get to tell you that I love you. And that day when I yelled at you Liv, I'm so sorry, sooo sorry. I wasn't angry with you Liv. I was mad at myself, that I didn't protect you, that I almost let you die. It was all my fault. And I know everyone thought that I was so upset about Ryan's death, and I was, but Liv, that's not what was keeping me up at night. That's not what haunts me to this day."
"Elliot--wait."
I cut her off again.
"I would do it again." I whisper, "I would pick you every time Liv." I move closer to her and wrap my arms tightly around her waist. "Every time." I whisper again and then place my lips firmly on hers. She pulls back at first and opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out and she just crashes her lips into mine.
I pull her as close as my body as I can get, and she pulls away again.
"Elliot, stop. Can't" She says trying to catch her breathe.
"Huh? Why?" I urge, needing to feel her body up against mine, her lips on mine…
"Because of me." I hear a male voice say.
WHAT THE FUCK?
"Captain?" I say and look over Liv's shoulder. And sure as shit there is Cragen walking into the kitchen.
No fucking way. Did he hear all that?
Strangely enough, he doesn't look pissed, and if I'm seeing things correctly I could even say that he appears to have a smile on his face.
"I tried to tell you." Olivia whispers into my ear. I look down at her and pull away from her, I totally forgot that I was still holding her in my arms.
"I ah…Don…"
"Save it Stabler. Look you didn't say anything that I didn't already know." He pats me on the back, "I was never here ok. I know nothing." And walked out the door.
"Holy shit." I say shaking my head.
"No kidding."
We just stood there for a few minutes in complete shock. Then finally Olivia turns to me, "Did you really mean all of that?"
I smile, "Every single word Liv. I love you."
"I love you too."
"Make love to me?"
She smiles seductively at me, "God yes." She says and I take her by surprise and lift her up into my arms and carry her to her bedroom.
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you
Oh oh oh oh oh
Cause I got you
cause I got you
Ooooh
cause I got you babe
cause I got you
Nobody wanna see us together
but it don't matter no
Cause I got you babe