HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS
- not very major ones but spoilers nonetheless -
Green Eyes
People never took well to me.
Guess I brought out the worst in people.
Doubting that? Look at my parents. Mum loved dad. Dad loved mum. Until I came along that was. Well, mum always loved me but dad didn't really. I was always ugly. Even as a baby. Yeah, you do get ugly babies, even though they are pretty rare.
I was always getting in the way. See, dad was a very physical man but after the pregnancy mum never really lost her weight and she had stretch marks all over. I picked this up even when I was a small kid. It was terrible. Dad would shout at mum for being fat and ugly and all these other things. He blamed me for everything. Then he found out she was a witch as well. Let me just say, it didn't help things. It really was all my fault. Their relationship fell apart and every day they would shout at each other, throw things and fight. I had to get away. It drove me mad, sitting there in my dingy room, listening to them yelling.
So I hung around outside instead. I was an odd sight, dressed how I was. We weren't well off, so I had to make do with what I had. Never really bothered me much anyways. I avoided talking to people and often skulked around in the bushes. I noticed a pair of girls that would often come to the park and play there. The red-haired one was obviously a witch. She could do all these things. She was very pretty too. I started to watch them and listen to them. The other girl was her sister. The redhead was called Lily and the other girl was Petunia. Petunia was really quite annoying but Lily seemed nice and kind.
I remember the time I first talked to her. She was the first person to ever look at me without a hint of disgust. I think it was then that I fell in love with her.
The first few years of Hogwarts were heaven to me. No dad. Lily always there. Potter and his gang picked on me but I didn't care about that. I was happy. I really was.
It didn't last long. Who ever knew one word could ruin your life. Take it from me. It's true. That stupid, stupid word. Who gives a damn about blood? It doesn't even matter. Pure-blood or not, it means nothing. But I still called her that. I called Lily a mudblood. Our friendship fell apart. She wouldn't talk to me again. She wouldn't even acknowledge me. I begged her. I knew she wouldn't ever forgive me.
She then dated Potter. Married him. I always wondered you know if she ever really loved him. Maybe she did it just to spite me. Or maybe I'm just flattering myself by thinking that.
I always disliked Potter. Then I hated him. He took her away from me. He took my Lily. Potter; that big-headed bastard who cared more about his damn broomstick than anything else.
Deep down, I knew she never loved me. She liked me I guess. But she pitied me the most. She felt sorry for me. That's really why she was friends with me. I loved that about her so much. She never judged people and she was such a nice nice person. I never told her how I felt. I think she had guessed it anyways. We never really talked about it.
I will hate myself forever for that damned prophecy. If only I had not told him. I could've kept it to myself. No one would've found out. But no. That cost me Lily. He killed her. The bastard killed her. I asked him to leave her. I asked him to spare her. I wanted to die. I wanted to kill myself.
Then I helped Dumbledore, all for her baby.
Everytime I looked at Harry Potter all I saw was Potter. That fool lived straight through him. But Dumbledore was right. The eyes. They were the same. They were the eyes I had loved until it hurt.
I loved her.
I loved Lily.
I lay there, blood and memories pouring from me. I had done as Dumbledore had instructed. Harry Potter would now know what he must do. I felt my life slip away. It wasn't with regret that I died. Wherever I went now I knew Lily would be there. Yet I held on to that last bit of life and told Harry to look at me.
I looked into his eyes.
I looked into her eyes.
In my mind I could see her green eyes crinkling slightly at the edges as she laughed.
Her beautiful green eyes.
Beautiful green eyes.
Green eyes.
A/N: Reading through this fanfic I see it's totally self-deprecating. On a more pleasant note, just consider it to be regrets and memories.
xXx
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