Author's Notes: I have no idea why this came to me, but it did. This is for my best friend foreva, Kelli! Love ya, girl. Hope you find this at least remotely amusing. :P I don't think I like it very much, but it was kinda fun to write, considering it was Shinji and Asuka. I think I could have written it better, but I don't feel like trying to write it again. All well. Review anyway, please?
Disclaimer: I could never come up with the genius/acid-trip storyline to this show.
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Grab It
"Ouch! Shinji, you idiot! Not so hard!" came the familiar cry of an eccentric red head.
"What do you mean? You're the one that told me to push!" Shinji retorted with a hint of irritation and a groan as he pushed up against her body, a prominent blush heating up his cheeks.
SLURP
"Oh! Shinji, switch me positions!"
"Ugh…why did I agree to this?" he complained, fitting his finger into the small hole and leaning down to get closer.
Asuka growled in anticipation. "Because Misato's not home, duh! Try putting both fingers in. Ah!" she squealed at the contact.
GROAN
"Asuka…This doesn't feel right." He told her staggered, probing his fingers deeper into the confines.
Shinji only received a frustrated whine in reply.
"You're so stupid! You're not doing it right."
"Give me some more of the lube." Passing it to him, Shinji applied more to his fingers before slipping them back into the tight ring which caused Asuka to jump slightly.
SQUEEZE
"Careful!"
"Do you want me to do it or not?" Twisting his fingers around inside the hole made Asuka grip onto his arm, urging him to continue.
"Hurry! IHurryI can't take this much longer!"
Shinji rolled his dark eyes, chewing on his lower lip in concentration as he penetrated further into the warm cavern. "Almost there…"
SCRATCH
Asuka pressed up against him, wrapping her arm around his neck in approval. "Yes! That's it!"
He grunted, sticking his tongue out at the exertion. "I'm…slipping…"
"Hang on, stupid!" The red head exclaimed, releasing him and grasping something firm.
"Hn...ah…I-"
"Shinji!"
Wide-eyed and mouths hanging open in disbelief, Misato stood outside the bathroom door, PenPen at her side. What in the hell is going on in there?! But she dare not open the door. She feared for Shinji's life if she did. Asuka would blow up at him. …Figuratively.
"I feel it!" Shinji yelled enthusiastically.
"Pull out! Get it out, Shinji!"
PHEW
"Don't ever let that happen again, Asuka." Shinji warned, dropping to the floor in exhaustion and relief. "We were lucky it got stuck halfway."
Asuka was slumped against the sink, panting. "It wasn't my fault! Misato shouldn't have left it sitting there. Besides, I've never even seen her not wearing her cross. How was I supposed to know it was laying there?"
"Well, at least we got it back. Misato would have killed us!"
"Yeah…"
I didn't know Shinji and Asuka…I'm leave for work for ten minutes and come back to get my necklace to find…to find this! Misato shuddered visibly, her mouth still hanging up in shock. PenPen shook his head, waddling back to his bed. It was too early in the morning for this.