Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Italics: thought or emphasis

Bold: dream or flashback

Please forgive any typos. Typing with a laptop, in the dark, at two o'clock in the morning. Have mercy.

And just so we can clear things up a bit here, I was not attempting to make Edward a less prideful or more sexual person. We all know that all guys are sexual; face it: he was already sexual before I portrayed him that way. As far as less prideful, I agree that he would never admit to fooling with himself. But who is he confessing to? I'm sorry, but I'm not an interactive writer. He doesn't know you're reading it. (Writing this for a special flamer.) Thank you for allowing this to occupy space!

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Chapter One: Unsatisfied

I know that it is human nature to never be satisfied. But can it be vampiric nature to always eventually want more?

I sighed, laying on my back in the darkness. I stared at the ceiling, absent-minded stroking Bella's hair with one hand as she slept on my chest.

Being in this bed with her used to make me feel comfortable and at peace. But now I could always feel that hunger creeping up inside me. It didn't help when she put on my favorite: the silk, red, short dress she only wore on special occasions. And it bugged me sometimes that she was in the very next room, naked and drenched. Every morning. But being in this bed with her was the worst. On a good day, it made me a little uneasy if I thought too much, but otherwise, I was fine. On a day when I was particularly in a "mood," it made me struggle to keep from thinking at all. Oh, but on a horrible day, when she had unknowingly tortured me so, it was hard for me not to picture it so intensely I could almost, almost…dream.

But tonight was better than last night. My "mood" still came to me a few times today, but she didn't do anything so ridiculously torturous as to wear that shirt, that skirt, that nightgown… Or to fall onto me and make me suppress from blushing.

That was still an odd thought. Me. Blushing. I'm sure not even Bella could resist teasing me if that ever happened.

I let the easy thought of blushing ease me into the thoughtless state that was considered sleep for most vampires. It felt good. Not to think. But my eyes were focused on the window, and I couldn't help but realize morning was coming.

Ah, another day. Another day for my secret to haunt me, as I was forced to think of it sometimes. I suppose I shouldn't think of it as a "secret." Secrets always get out. And this was one "secret" that no one, nowhere was ever going to have the slightest hint about. Ever.

I smiled at Bella stirred in my arms. "Good morning," she murmured. I smiled my morning smile (as she calls it) at her. Her morning smile (a groggy, half-awake one) spread on her lips. "Hu—"

"Human moment." I winked.

She smiled. "Charlie?" I nodded to indicate a normal Sunday. Which meant he was either fishing or, on the rare occasion, playing poker. That was even rarer now that his friend down at the reservation had passed on….

The idea of the reservation made me stiffen, and Bella looked at me curiously. Her gorgeous blue-green eyes silently asked me what was wrong. Not that anything had to be wrong. I was normally tense.

"Nothing, dear," I reassured her. "Go take a shower."

"Is that suppose to mean I stink?" she teased. I wrinkled and pinched my nose. She lightly slapped my chest, but giggled despite herself. A small smile was on my lips as I shooed her out of bed. She obediently stumbled her sleepy self to the bathroom for her daily shower. I myself got out of bed and raced to the house to change clothes. Esme waved good morning to me like she always did, not expecting me to stay long like she never did. Carlisle absent-mindedly waved from his study. Jasper and Alice were studying nearby him. Alice waved enthusiastically, Jasper barely glanced up. Emmett and Rosaline were—I shuddered—making out in his room. I shook my head, went to my room, changed and ran out before I saw any of them again.

Bella was just pulling the towel off her head when I slipped in through her window. Perfect timing. As always. She wore something cute today… A brown tiered skirt with laces ending in turquoise beads. A turquoise shirt with laces near the top that ended in wooden beads. I guessed she didn't want to stay at home, because she also wore a pair of short-heeled brown sandals. I wished I'd dressed a little more appropriately for going out, in a simple black shirt, silk over shirt, and tan jeans… But she didn't seem to mind much. Her reflection smiled at mine in her mirror as she brushed her hair.

I wondered vaguely where she wanted to go before she turned on her vanity seat to face me. "I wanted to go see a movie," she said timidly as if I'd immediately reject. I nodded.

"What movie?" I wondered to keep conversation going as I followed her to the bathroom to watch her dry her hair. She smiled a little at my acceptance.

"Mmm… I don't remember the name of it; it's supposed to be good, though. I'll know it when we get there." That was Bella. Always forgetting things. I inwardly chuckled. At least this time it wasn't important. I nodded my acceptance of that, too.

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She still didn't remember when we got to the movie theatre. Her cheeks were a light pink from embarrassment. I brushed my lips against them in the car as I grabbed the umbrella from the backseat. She blushed deeper, but I didn't let it linger. I got out of the car and met her on the other side with the umbrella. She smiled a little at my courtesy as she got out of the car. I led her up the walk and let her ask the poor receptionist about every movie playing before she decided which one she had wanted to see. It was called Disturbia, and didn't sound like the kind of movie Bella usually went for.

I looked at her quizzically as I bought our tickets and led her inside. "What's this movie about?" I asked, slightly suspicious. We usually went to see chick flicks. Of course, she always denied they were chick flicks until someone died at the very end or the most unlikely couple in reality got married. But as I glanced at the poster for Disturbia on the wall, my suspicions were confirmed: this was not a chick flick.

"It's about a boy who's under house arrest, and he starts watching his neighbors," she replied. Strange enough, but she added, "And it turns out, one of his neighbors is a murderer." Ah. A horror. This was another of her attempts to be brave. I inwardly chuckled. She always ended up clinging to me in these. The last one she'd tried was The Hills Have Eyes, and that movie scared the devil out of her, and made me want to puke if I had bodily fluids. Just the thought of that made my stomach turn. But this movie sounded like an innocent suspense movie with a little bit more of the story. Shouldn't be too bad. I nodded as I handed over our tickets and headed to the concession stand. I paid for her small candy bag and regular Diet Coke. (As if she needs to be on a diet!)

I opened the door to the theatre for her and found it was probably the movie everyone was here to see. There weren't many people out to the movies on a Sunday, but it seemed what little were here were packed into this small Forks theatre. We took a seat somewhere between the middle and the back. I watched her get situated, putting her candy here, her drink there, arranging her skirt… Then I slipped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me. She giggled and rolled her eyes playfully. Like I was an attention-starved pet. Which, sometimes, I resembled… But she leaned closer, somehow managing to stay in her seat with her body framed against mine. I kissed her head, the whiff of shampoo enchanting.

After a few previews of movies that looked as stupid as any, the movie began. Why do they always make the beginning of these things extraordinarily sad for anyone with tear glands? First thing in the movie, even before the title was presented, the boy's father died in a car crash. Bella tried to hide her tears, but her jumps at the sudden impact told me to hold her tighter. She shook slightly in my arms, and I turned her face. She reluctantly looked at me, and I wiped her tears. I gave her a smile, and that seemed to cheer her enough look back at the screen.

I almost laughed when the boy decked his teacher. Man, have I ever wanted to do that… Man, he got off easy… That anklet looks annoying… were my thoughts as the movie went on. I almost fell asleep until it finally started getting interesting. One of his neighbors he'd been watching intently—a teenage girl about his age—knocked on his door and needed a "hang out." Well, that was interesting for a minute or two, but then it began to phase on by again… Then this guy that was the supposed murderer showed up in his kitchen, and that was kind of spooky. Scared the shit out of Bella, which is what really woke me out of my stupor. Then this girl had a party, he spied on her, he made her mad, she stormed on over, blah blah blah. Well, then they started kissing… I turned away when their tongues came to life, but it didn't help that every couple in the theatre was taking advantage of the romantic scene. Bella wasn't looking at me, thank God…

I began to breathe again when blood splattered all over that-one-guy's window, making Bella jump and gasp. I smiled a little, glad that was over. There were still flashes of them on the bed… But I ignored that and replaced it with total concentration on the man dragging the body of a woman down his stairs. Then they finally stopped kissing, and I relaxed back into my stupor.

Bella jumped periodically throughout the movie. I peered up once in a while when the really dramatic music started playing. At the very end was the making out again… And the rest of the people took it up…again. This time, Bella did look at me. I looked back at her. If I had a heart, it would have been racing as she leaned down and kissed me that soft way she did on the rare occasion that she kissed me… I tried not to lose my own control, because I knew she was fighting to keep her own… But this was abnormally hard, knowing that she wanted exactly what I wanted, but both of us too afraid to try it…

She drew away, no longer able to breathe, and I smiled as I gathered her things for her. End of the movie. Thank God.

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R & R, please. Aah, how I love to tease Edward.

Next Chapter: Who will gather the courage to part their lips?