Chapter 2: 'Perfect Potter's Past and Present'
((APOCALIPSIS NOW... SOONER OR LATER))
"Bloody Colin Creeves!! What the bludgers is wrong with him?!?!" spat Ron furiously.
"What do you mean we cannot get out? What's happening?!" asked Hermione nervously.
"The house is surrounded by reporters. As I've already said, we're stuck."
"What! That means they have to stay??" Draco said to himself but was heard by Moppy from whom he received a kick that graciously asked him to shut the pretties up. "OW!"
'This is a nightmare!' the thought echoed in Draco's head.
"We must get out of here," Hermione finally pointed out.
Like it was some kind of password to chaos, all maids started, again, pursuing Mr. Potter's every shadow. By the time they could get that freaked-out house-elf down from Harry's head, again (even Draco helped), they were encircled by all the other that looked like they were not taking a 'no' for an answer.
"OK, that's it!"
Just when they thought they've completely lost control, the older, First Maid House-elf, Moppy finally made worth her presence,
"Girls, get all to work right now and stop bothering Mr. Potter! You two," said pointing to two elves there, "help me in the kitchen with the cookies you've made me burn; and Mr. Malfoy, please take the guests to the living room so they can be more comfortable."
"What?! But –"
"No 'buts', move on and I don't want any complains!" there was a little silence as she turn to Harry-"Mr. Potter, I'm so sorry and ashamed."
"Eh – no, you don't need to –"
"Over here," Malfoy guided bad-temperedly.
"And be gentle!"
"I really, really do want a new life…" Malfoy muttered to himself.
And they entered a corridor next to the kitchen. As they were following Draco, Ron whispered to his friends, "She acts like a wife, don't you think?"
"Well, it looks like Malfoy have finally found himself a companion that suits him," Hermione said, mocking Malfoy's luck.
Potter agreed, "Yeah, nice temper."
"Hum, yeah! But I was saying that 'cause she makes me remember so much at you, honey," said Ron who talking to his dear wife.
"What have you just said, Ronald Weasley?!"
Despite hearing them and trying to imagine the First House-elf in a wedding dress (what would make him feel horror-struck in normal circumstances… today it was almost ordinary), he didn't paid too much attention to their conversation. Malfoy was trying to figure out why was Harry Potter in his house, why had he not poisoned the tea when he had the chance and why the bludgers was he receiving them in his living-room!
"Here is the library-living room-whatever. On the other room there're some juice and other drinks. Help yourselves," and with that, he goes. He banged the door closed on his way out.
"Well, that is service!" sarcastically, Ron pointed out.
Draco got out just to be received by the First Maid.
"And now what?? You're not expecting me to dance to them or something, are you?" Draco said this last part with kind of a 'pleading' tone.
She sighed hopelessly, "Master Malfoy, you are hopeless. Moppy didn't really expect that you'd be chatting and drinking tea amicably at the first visit but… You could at least try."
"What??" Malfoy suddenly looked wary, "What do you mean?"
"The basket. Moppy – I mean, I sent it. Moppy thought Mr. Malfoy might feel a little lonely, without any friends near. And as you were always taking about your years at school, when you were Harry Potter companion –" ('companion' being a very relative word here) "- and you were always taking about famous Potter, famous Potter's scar... Then I thought you'd like his company, be a friend. And I do really think he'd be a really good influence, Master Malfoy. And so Moppy send the basket with an invitation to him so you two would become friends, though I really didn't expect he would accede that soon –"
"YOU WHAT???!!!!"
"Well, it was partly because of that... You see, the girls also wanted to give him a present for being their – well, hero, but as it was also paid with your money… Master Malfoy, please don't kill Moppy... ´"
You hadn't seen Malfoy madder in his life, that's for sure. Now that he knew why was Harry Potter in his house (the real reason) he concluded he must, more than never after, get rid of him.
So he went to the 'service room' (a little room like a cafeteria where there were the drinks). Stopping by the door, he heard a private conversation his neighbor was having with his best friends.
" – when I saw you surrounded by elves," Weasley laughed, "I mean, I knew you loved House-Elves and all that but –"
"Shut up, Ron," said Harry, "I would like to see yourself surrounded by hobgoblins."
"Sorry," Weasley said not sounding sorry, though snickers and trying to steady himself in the table, "But really, Harry, what were you thinking?"
Malfoy heard Potter hesitate, "Well, I just thought we could make a truce, I mean, things should have changed a little since school. And, you know..."
('Ha! And Hell is organizing a party and giving presents on Christmas!' Malfoy thought.)
"Yeah, now he's older enough to be put on jail if he tries to kill you, right?" Weasley continued, "So you think this the perfect opportunity to tease him all you want. Seriously, you don't know to which point he can go to revenge about, well, all those years at school. You really beat him in every game, put him to shame in dueling!"
"It cannot be that terrible, right? I mean, what's the worse he's gonna do? Seduce me –"
Both boys exploded at laughs as a figure stood at the door.
"Malfoy!" Potter blushing madly stared at the blond; a little flushed too, young Draco, also calling Ron's attention.
"OK, Potter. I didn't send you that basket with candies; my house-elves had. I didn't send it like a 'making-peace' gift nor I'm interested in doing such thing, and as I have a terrible headache which can only become, if possible, worse if that crazy old elf Moppy stars yelling again, I'm not kicking you out right now. That's it."
Alerted by the fuss Hermione stepped in. She was carrying a magazine with her and a worried expression in her face.
Draco just continued, "So, feel free to enjoy the cookies, drink whatever you want and leave as soon as possible, OK?" then leaving the room and stepping into the living room.
Draco really couldn't figure out why he was being so indulgent and not kicking them out to their luck and to the hungry journalists in that exact moment… he just felt urged to get the prettiest out of there, actually. He was just seconds from reaching the corridors door and getting away from the lunacy.
But he had to ask before leaving, didn't he?
"You should get that sense of humor of yours checked, why the sick – and impossible – image of me flirting with Potter should be funny, may I ask?" he asked, contradicting every part of him telling him to run as far as possible right now.
But surely what came afterwards was not what Draco Malfoy was expecting. The reaction he was waiting for was a lot more alike Potter telling him that it was an inner joke and was not his 'bloody business'. Clearly wasn't expecting Weasley's eyes to sparkle that much, Granger trying to hide herself behind the magazine and Potter to blush.
"Oh! He doesn't know…" Weasley was smirking but, to Malfoy's surprise, his gaze was directed to the flushing Harry.
"Shove it, Ron," Harry said and then turned to Draco, "Not your bloody business, Malfoy."
'Oh, there it is'
Weasley laughed. "Why not, Potter? It isn't like all the rest of the planet doesn't know about it yet. And, who knows! He might be interested."
The sight of Harry growing crimson made him remember his years at school and a smirk was about to pop out just before he restrained himself and realize that 'that', whatever thing that was making him that uncomfortable, couldn't be that good if it had something to do with him 'seducing' Potter.
Oh, and Granger snorted.
"I'm warning you, Ron Weasley."
Something about the scene was hilarious to Malfoy. Currently forgetting his early intentions, he allowed himself to take a glass of wine while enjoying the show.
"C'mon, Harry. Wouldn't he want to know?" Weasley continued ignoring Potter's glare, "Wouldn't he find it funny to know that The Boy Who Lived 'grabbed the snitch with the other hand'?"
Malfoy choked in his wine. Weasley seemed to think it was funny because he started laughing again.
But the words could not make total effect on Draco: at that exact moment Moppy stepped to the room (while he heard Granger telling the Weasel off for having such a rude and poor use of language). There was a twinkle in her eyes, and the way she was smiling…
('Bloody spawn! She knew!') But Draco couldn't react fast enough nor in a way that would not expose him quite shamefully.
So Potter was a poof, ('What's next? Longbottom's grown a second head and a pair of wings, turning into a half-owl creature cheerfully delivering Valentine letter over-flowing whole Europe?') and was that a meaningful look Granger was giving him? No, Draco decided at that point it was better to turn to his favorite reaction: denial.
"And what do you want me to do about it, throw Potter a Welcome Out of the Broomcloset party?" Honestly, Potter publicly announces his tastes and he had to celebrate it?
"We only thought you might be interested," said Granger. But Malfoy didn't take it as 'interested for mortifying Potter' exactly, so...
"Oh yeah!" Draco said, voice dripping venomous sarcasm and he rolling his eyes; his heart pounding a bit uncomfortably, he parodied, "I see how that would be, 'you know, Draco, I'm gay' – 'Oh, so am I, Harry!' "
Potter had picked up the idea played along, humored, "Yeah, and coincidentally, I like you!"
"And coincidentally, I like you too, Harry– "
The moment the words came out from his mouth, Malfoy utmost regretted it. They came out on an impulse, really.
Malfoy spoke almost immediately just not to let the uncomfortable silence linger, "In an alternate universe, you know."
Granger had a sly smile followed by a snicker, Weasley looked another way as if uncomfortable or annoyed. Potter, on the other hand, had raised an inquisitive eyebrow. It was the giggle coming from behind him that alerted him Moppy had heard it all. He threw her a cold, angry look over his shoulder, almost missing to pick what Granger said next.
"- the Neville accident?"
Draco was brought back to reality by that statement.
"Having so many magazines you must have heard," Hermione pointed out by her husband side, but she was staring meaningfully at Malfoy, then lifted the magazine like about to read making a poor impression of being uninterested.
"Stop it," Potter said. Draco didn't think she meant it to mock Potter exactly, but while Potter didn't seem to see it that way...
It was just then that Malfoy saw that in the opposite side of the journal Granger was holding that there was a moving Harry Potter facing him. He answered fast, before conclusion could be made.
"It's not mine. It's one of the maids'."
"Oh! Your maids like Quidditch?" Granger stated triumphant while turning the magazine around so that Malfoy had a clear view of the front page (which, guess, also gave her and the two blokes the opposite side with Harry's face) and grinning like a loon.
('Bugger, bugger, bugger!') Malfoy realized Granger was right as he took a closer look at it. But he was not going to tell Potter that he had bought a magazine with his face on it – in order to rescue some of the left dignity. (By this time, Weasley and Potter were both listening eagerly every bit of their conversation, which disturbed him, though Draco didn't know it was most likely because 'Quidditch' had been mentioned.)
"Surely they only bought it just because they saw Potter's face – Oh, bugger!" he was not saying that to him either, clearly. He was not boasting Potter's ego; that would be another way of loosing this battle. Oh and he didn't seem to realize that he had said the curse aloud.
Draco concluded at that moment it'd be prudent to leave the wine and change it for some tea.
"Sure Skeeter had a fest of things to write afterwards," Hermione went on, another completely different subject Draco had not been listening to.
Truth to be told, previously, Moppy's interruption made Malfoy feel cooler (he would deny at every instance he was about to blush just a second before), but he was still a little tense about this new, er, discovery. Wait, and didn't she just said –
"Longbottom?? Couldn't you just fall for Weasley? I don't believe I will say this but it would have been more decent!" Malfoy finally spoke.
Hermione let a snort at this.
"No, Hermione won him first," Harry said with a wary voice.
"Hey!" Weasley said trying to sound more offended than he was, "Don't talk about me as if I was a trophy!"
"You wish," Draco retorted. Welasey looked put out but Potter was busy as he had picked the same magazine and was commenting, "I didn't know your father sponsored Serpentis –"
"What?! You bloody scumbag!" Ron reacted immediately taking the magazine from him.
"Mind your tongue! You're still in my house!" commanded Malfoy with a tone such he made a perfect personification of old Snape.
"That team is full of cheating scum!" Weasley retorted and Malfoy scowled, "Just a bit of an accident with a malfunctioning bat doesn't make them cheaters."
"They were the ones presenting a demand so not to let Harry play in Lionness!"
"And they were dead right! He is everywhere else!"
And what better moment for an unreal person to appear!
"Mrs. Moppy should not forget to do Master Malfoy laundry before dinner –"The Harry Potter Magic Hologram appeared just before the weasel taking him by surprise. Apparently he had touched the switcher of Moppy's memorandum book, or the house-elf just forgot to turn it off.
"Bugger."
Draco Malfoy couldn't think of a more embarrassing thing to happen.
The worst thing was maybe that it said 'Master Malfoy', nor Mister -- if he only hadn't asked to had "master" there, as condition to accept 'that thing' in his house. Now it sounded oddly improper, outright indecent in the light of recent events. At the time he had thought it was a funny idea, he had no intention of making it sound like a dirty-talk line!
Moppy had immediately materialized and hurried to turn the thing off. Potter found this a good time to ask, picking a doll shaped like him which had just fallen from the laundry basket Moppy left on the floor, "You have quite a bit of merchandising, house-elves."
"Ah, that's Mr Malfoy's," Moppy blurted without a second thought.
Now positively red in the face, Malfoy said in what sounded like a pained groan, "it's was a present."
It was all Mafloy could do to not think of the several Harry Potter Brand items in the house. And not to even consider Harry finding the closet with all of Harry Potter merchandising he had been depriving the house elves, waiting there for further teasing, including a set of Barbie Witch Meets Harry Potter!
Actually, that plushy Potter held had been the only thing he had considered at least mildly decent. If compared with when this maid just came with the idea of buying a Harry Potter themed toilet seat –
"Last Christmas', yes, and he also has the underwear, but he never wears it," Moppy dared say; it seemed she was pretty proud of the reaction of mirth her last unintended revelation had produced. Indeed this last bit of information aroused giggles, whistling and cat calls (Hermione, Harry and Ron respectively), and a very heated Malfoy.
"Done?" Malfoy said, pretty annoyed.
"Well, that was scary," Ron chirped when Moppy was finished shutting the memorandum book off, and Draco "mmh"-ed, able to imagine very much scarier things. Which reminded him…
"What's the time?" without waiting for an answer, Draco looked eagerly at his watch; bad idea. The three loonies happened to recognize the brand but, unsurprisingly, he couldn't care less at the moment. "Don't you have to go arrange my room or something?"
"Oh yes, will," Moppy said. "Moppy was just on her way to pick the sheets and your favorite pillow, the one with Mr Potter's face on it."
At this, Weasley positively choked in laughter so that Granger was too worried to laugh herself and Potter looked as uncomfortable as he felt.
"Since when is that my favorite pillow?!" Malfoy asked, outraged, not to say embarrassed.
"Oh, that's the feeling I got when I caught you snogging it the other day."
And Moppy was careful to disappear just afterward to leave flustered Malfoy calling, "THAT NEVER HAPPENED!" in panic rather than anger, and Potter covering his face with his own embarrassment disguising this action coughing in his hand. Granger was still patting Weasley on the back.
Malfoy, not even realizing he had stood during his last outburst, let himself fall back into the couch looking dejected. As Weasley was still coughing, he forced himself to stare at the roof. A small silence followed afterwards.
"I want to die," Malfoy said miserably.
"Might I suggest death by asphyxiation," offered Potter "... with a pillow?"
Hermione snickered loudly but Weasley seemed to have lost all his energy in that last fit. Malfoy lowered his head to stare at Potter and said, "An evil fate you have chosen for me."
"Suits you."
"You should have chosen our side," Malfoy blurted for no reason.
Potter stared. "With Voldemort wanting to kill me?"
"Ah, yeah, I always forget that detail."
"Seriously, stop flirting, you two!"
Malfoy could not but smile a defeated smile at Weasley's mock-outraged comment and looked thoughtful at his glass. There was a comfortable silence as they, dare he say it? They were finally enjoying each other company. A very unusual thing indeed...
Suddenly a 'BOOM!' sound explode somewhere in the room.
Out of the blue a smog mist of gray smoke filled the room as four little figures appeared just in front of them; in fact, kids.
Little Ron, "Bloody shit!"
Little Hermione, "This is really not what I expected."
Little Harry, "Chatting and having tea with Draco Malfoy?!"
Little Draco, "I'm so screwed up! Where the hell did the dignity in this room go?!?!"
Little Ron, "Turn it back! Turnitback turnitback turnitback!"
Little Hermione, "That's- -what- -I- -can't- -then- -NOW!"
Little Draco, "I promise I'll never let that happen in the future."
The other three, "Yeah!" as the figures disappeared back from they came from.
...There was some odd silence at the living room for some time, and then...
"Oh, I remember that one!" Harry was the first to react.
"Yeah, that little accident with the Time-Turner in third year... I then thought it had been all a dream," Ron stated.
Malfoy drank a little more of tea, "Kids."
Others three agreed with sounds or nodding.
'Kid...'
Draco stared at his tea thoughtfully and smiled in his knavish style…
'...you don't have an idea.'
.
THE END
by She-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Psycho!"
Nadia I. Rey
20-09-02
NA: You will notice from the date this was written ages ago, in my "who cares about correct punctuation marks" phrase. No spoilers whatsoever. Having not posted it anywhere, I wanted to share it as we approach the end of the series. I hope you have liked it.
Review if you please!