Disclaimer: I own them all! They're mine! Sue me! (Just turn that the other way round and you've got it)

I've got exams this and next week so I probably won't be up to writing anything but as soon as that's over, I'll be continuing.

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Michaela pushed the door open and walked into the kitchen, feeling rather groggy. She grunted a greeting to the two boys before starting to make her breakfast.

John Paul smiled back before turning to his boyfriend. "So what did you want to do today?" he asked, lightening the mood.

Spike grinned and kissed JP softly. "I was thinking maybe we could go into Manchester and have a day out; just the two of us without any distractions. I got us tickets to see Bullet."

"Bullet! That's so not fair. You don't even like them that much John Paul!" Michaela interjected, spraying cereal everywhere.

JP ignored his sister, looking at Spike 'like a love-sick puppy', Michaela thought. "Sure, that sounds amazing. I don't know what I'd do without you – you're far too good to me," John Paul replied. He then leant in to kiss Spike passionately.

"Oh, get a room will ya?" Michaela said, screwing up her nose.

John Paul and Spike laughed. "You know, I think we will do just that," said John Paul, winking at his sister. "I need to get ready anyway," he continued, leading Spike up to his room. "I might need a hand with that though…" he finished when he and Spike were finally alone.

Spike stared incredulously up at his boyfriend, who had pushed them both onto the bed. "Ok, who are you and what have you done with JP?" he joked, but at seeing John Paul's face begin to fall, he quickly continued; "not that that's a problem, of course," pulling JP down for a long, slow kiss and reaching into his pyjama bottoms.

John Paul let out a hiss of pleasure, grinding into Spike's hand before saying 'wait'. Spike looked at him in confusion, so he explained. "I… I want you inside me." Spike's face immediately lit up, although there was a hint of worry in his eyes. "Don't worry, it's not because I feel guilty – it's because I want it. I want you to make me yours."

"Well in that case…"

Two hours later, John Paul and Spike could be found sitting outside an ice-cream parlour, laughing as they shared childhood stories, each talking while the other attempted to put them off by making sure their spoon was very thoroughly cleaned each time, before another piece of sundae was eaten.

Being with Spike had changed John Paul. For once in his life, he felt comfortable to be who he was, rather than who everyone else thought he should be. Especially now that the truth about Craig had been revealed, JP felt the happiest and most confident that he had ever felt and all of that was because of Spike. Finally, he felt able to crawl out of his shell and be whatever it was he would eventually be.

"John Paul? Hello? Earth to planet JP…" Spike was waving his hand in front of John Paul's face, wearing a slightly amused and bemused expression.

"Wha?" asked John Paul, snapping out of his trance-like thinking. His mind whirred into gear and it took him a second to remember where he was and what was going on. "Oh, sorry. Mind elsewhere – I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you."

"Aww look at that – my boyfriend: the hopeless romantic!" Spike grinned at John Paul's blush before reaching over the table to press their lips together. John Paul kissed back hungrily, but just as Spike was about to suggest they go somewhere a bit more private, John Paul's phone went off.

John Paul pulled away, sending Spike a regretful glance before taking his phone out of his pocket. One look at the screen to see who was calling made his face turn sour as he forcefully pressed the hang-up button and put his phone back. Spike opened his mouth to ask who it was, but closed it again when he realised that it was unnecessary. He fought to keep the disappointment off of his face – typical how even without being here and despite his and JP's best efforts, Craig Dean could still ruin the mood for them.

Deciding not to let this spoil the rest of their day, Spike went to the till to pay for their ice-creams before taking John Paul's hand and taking him further into the town centre.

The rest of the day passed relatively uneventfully, John Paul and Spike taking the time to re-forge the strong bond between them. Eventually, they stood outside Manchester Arena at 7:00, when the gates were due to open.

About half way through the concert, which John Paul was thoroughly enjoying, he started to get thirsty, so went to the refreshments stand at the back. Spike had been following him through the crowd, however they got separated, so used basic sign language to convey that they would meet at the refreshments.

After ordering their drinks, John Paul heard the familiar sound of his ring tone faintly over the music, which was slightly quieter here than closer to the stage. He pulled out his phone to see that he had just missed that call, and about six others, all from Nancy. Wondering what could have been so urgent that she call that many times, JP quickly rang her back, covering his other ear so he might be able to hear her better.

"John Paul!" came the familiar voice on the other end of the phone, except it wasn't Nancy. "Wait – please don't hang up," the voice continued. "I just… I needed to talk to you. Where are you? The music's pretty loud."

"What do you want, Craig?" asked John Paul roughly, ignoring the last question. "I would have thought you'd get the message that I didn't want to talk to you when I hung up on you earlier. Or is that why you're using Nancy's phone – to trick me into answering?"

"Please, John Paul. Just hear me out." At Craig's almost defeated voice, John Paul began to thaw. He just couldn't stay angry with the other boy for very long, especially not when he said his name in that way. "I know that the way I went about apologising to you this morning was wrong--"

"Look – I'm a little busy now, so as much as I'm enjoying this little chat," here, John Paul's voice was dripping with sarcasm; a cover to hide what he was truly feeling. "I think I'd rather get back to my evening with my boyfriend."

There was a short pause before Craig's voice could be heard once more through the handset; the words slightly rushed but definitely audible. "I'm going to break up with Sarah."

John Paul almost dropped his phone in shock. It was like everything has stopped – the music that was still as loud as ever had gone silent. The man handing him his drinks and asking for the money wasn't there. He didn't see Spike finally appearing out of the crowd with a bruise already forming around his eye, sidling up to him and paying for the drinks instead before waiting patiently and curiously for John Paul to finish his conversation. None of this was happening in JP's world because at that moment, he was half way between jumping for joy that Craig really was in love with him and drowning his sorrows because Craig would be so harsh as to get his hopes up so high, only to break his heart yet again.

Instead, he kept his voice calm and cold, saying "You do that, but if you do, it'll be for you; not for me. Don't try to make it seem like you're doing anything for my benefit because we both know you're only doing this so that you won't have to tell her about us. Now, as I said, I'm enjoying my evening with Spike, so please just leave us alone." John Paul quickly hung up the phone before any tears could fall and the other boy would know how much of a hold he still had over JP's emotions. He hated that Craig could still do this to him. Suddenly remembering where he was and what he was doing, he looked around and saw Spike standing behind him with their drinks. Spike moved closer, wrapping his arms around his crying boyfriend, pulling him close and kissing the top of his head.

JP breathed in deeply, inhaling Spike's scent. It felt strange but nice to be looked after in this way: to be protected rather than always being the protector like he had always been for Craig.

Meanwhile, Craig had left John Paul's house in tears, but intent on cleaning himself up and going to see Sarah. He went back to his house and put on the outfit Sarah loved seeing him in before heading over to her house. He felt a twinge of guilt and doing so, after what he had told John Paul, but he told himself that JP had chosen Spike, so it was fair for him to continue his relationship with Sarah.

Ringing the doorbell, he was determined to make him and Sarah work. He didn't need John Paul, as much as he thought he did. He needed Sarah. She was who he loved… except he just couldn't make himself believe any of it.

Amy answered the door and told him that Sarah was still up in her room getting ready. Craig made his way up the stairs, telling himself that this was what he wanted. Sarah came running out of her room, stopping when she saw her boyfriend half way up the stairs.

"A bit eager, aren't you?" she said, jokingly. Craig could tell by the look in her eyes that she loved the idea that he was so attracted to her. After walking to her room and sitting down on her bed, Craig looked at her quizzically: she never wanted to 'just talk', usually opting for a very steamy make-out session if not more. She sighed. "Listen, I know that there's been something weird going on between you and John Paul for the last month – I'm not blind. It's upsetting you Craig; why don't you go and talk to him?"

Talking about John Paul was exactly what Craig did not want to do – that was why he had come over here! "Already ahead of you," he soothed, knowing that unless she was satisfied that she'd heard the whole story, she wouldn't let this go. "I went over there earlier and then left because Spike arrived and they looked like they were having a bit of an argument." Well… what was wrong with spreading a few seeds to make one more person stop liking him? "Anyway, I didn't come over to talk about him did I?" he finished suggestively.

Sarah giggled before pulling him closer. "No, I guess you didn't," she replied, kissing him deeply. This carried on for a couple of minutes, without him feeling very interested. "You alright?" she asked, clearly annoyed by his inattentiveness. Craig shook his head to clear it, nodding to Sarah before pulling her in. He figured that the more he did so, the less John Paul's face would appear in his mind that he would have to push away. "You seem a bit distracted is all…" she continued. Craig pretended to ignore her, but became much more determined to make this happen; to make himself want Sarah this way. He kissed her again, not caring when John Paul's replaced her face in his mind. He heard her moan, but somehow made himself believe that it was his friend. "Mmmm… much better," she sighed. This, he couldn't pretend was John Paul. Craig sat up. "What's the problem?" she asked, with her scraping, whining voice.

"I dunno… I just… I think you're right – I'm just distracted. Listen – I'll call you later, yeah?" Craig practically ran out of the house, pressing his hands to his face. How John Paul had managed to stay with Hannah after he had confessed his feelings for Craig, he didn't know because every second that he was with Sarah made him feel violently sick, unless he was pretending that it was John Paul. He didn't quite know where he was running, but he ended up running right into Jake.

"Whoa careful there mate! You alright Craig?" He asked.

"What? Oh, yeah. Of course." Craig smiled up at his brother.

Jake wasn't known as being the most observant person ever, but he knew when his brother was hiding something. "Well I'm kinda busy right now, but me and Nancy are going to the Dog later – you wanna talk or just hang out or anything, you come and join us, yeah?"

Craig nodded gratefully, actually feeling slightly better. He waved goodbye to Jake before reaching in his pocket for something… except it wasn't there. Of course! He'd changed since he'd been round John Paul's.

Ever since he'd started feeling a bit confused about how he felt as far as John Paul was concerned, he'd decided to tape his conversations with him to try to prove that there was nothing to it… except that when he listened to them back, all he'd heard was confirmation of what he'd been afraid of – what he felt for John Paul was definitely not platonic. Ever since then, listening to their conversations had been a sort of pleasure/pain, which both drove him crazy and kept him sane. They hadn't said much in the past couple of weeks, but every word between them was recorder and far too over-analysed. He had to listen to their last conversation – maybe there was some sort of clue as to how to get him.

Reaching into the pocket of his jeans that he had worn earlier that day, Craig's eyes widened as he realised that the microphone wasn't there… so where was it? Taking a deep breath to keep himself calm, he logged onto his computer where the signal would send anything that was recorded. It must have fallen out at some point, so maybe he'd be able to work it out from what had been recorded.

'…just that I thought…' he heard his voice saying. 'You thought what? That whenever you're feeling a bit 'bi-curious' or whatever you could just come round here…' This was still him talking to John Paul – before Spike had walked in and ruined it all. Craig moved the track further on.

'…'ll be fine. Just, please, leave.' This was it – this was when he left JP's house. He listened for the sounds of running and then muffled tears, but they never came. Instead, he heard silence. Then, eventually, he heard two people go to speak at once.

'So did…' (Spike) 'I just…' (John Paul) Craig's jaw dropped open. His microphone had been left in JP's kitchen! It must have fallen out when JP pushed him to the floor. While he was thinking about how on earth he was going to be able to get such an expensive piece of equipment back when he probably would be barred from that house for life, he forgot that the track was still running. Snapping back into reality, he realised that some of what he was about to hear would probably be very personal information, but at the same time he knew that if there was something in there that would help him get John Paul back, it would be worth it.

'My first serious relationship… only one other than this one… it ended less than well.' He shouldn't hear this, he knew, but something made him need to listen. When he got to the part where Michaela walked in, he knew the end of the interesting part had finished, except something inside of him told him he had missed something. There had to be something there.

Craig pressed the rewind button, searching for the one line he was looking for. 'Nothing short of breaking up with Sarah, buying me a couple of tickets to an amazing unknown band and declaring his undying love for me in front of the whole street would make me even think of doing anything with him again.'

"Bingo."

Knowing he had to talk to John Paul about what he was going to do next, Craig got out his phone, scrolling easily to JP's number as he had done so many times before. Hesitating before ringing, he somehow found the confidence to.

'Ring ring. Ring ring. Ring--' the line went dead. Craig threw his phone down, angry at John Paul for not even listening to him, himself for making John Paul act that way, and life, the universe and everything… just because it sucked.

Craig lay down on his bed, suddenly tired. He had hardly got any sleep the night before, as he had been so worried about what he was going to do that morning; and a fat lot of good that planning did him! When he woke up hours later, Craig would have had no idea how he had fallen asleep as his mind had been completely full of regret and sorrow.

"Hey Nancy! Jake! How are you?" Craig made his voice sound chirpy.

"Craig!" Nancy called back, sounding both surprised and very happy to see him. "Jake told me he'd invited you along, but I didn't think I'd actually see you. How have you been?" Despite exams being over, Craig hadn't been spending much time socialising at all over the past few weeks.

"Yeah, yeah good actually. Well… maybe not so much but I'm sure Jake told you. Let's enjoy ourselves here and then maybe we'll talk about it later." Craig committed himself there and then, remembering that JP wanted him to tell people. At least if he'd said he would tell her, Nancy would make him do so later on if he chickened out; which he would. Nancy was one of those people who was a good friend of his but slightly outside of the situation, so hopefully she wouldn't judge him too much.

The rest of the afternoon passed without too much fuss as all three of them laughed and joked. There were a few moments when Craig forgot the heartache he was feeling and he felt completely and utterly relaxed. Somehow, they managed to waste their time until half past five, when Darren came over and told Jake to 'get that dmn brat out of here' as apparently Charlie needed a change and Darren simply couldn't be bothered.

The three of them trooped back to Jake and Nancy's with Charlie in tow, relishing in the silence that was unusual for their street. Then, Craig heard the sound of someone running behind him. Turning around, he saw Sarah sprinting towards him, slowing to a gentle jog when she realised he was watching her. 'Of course' he thought 'yet another one of her little games which are really starting to get tiring'. He had always played along with them before, pretending that he was either so clueless that he didn't get that she was messing him around or that he actually enjoyed it. He felt that he needed to do so in order to keep her; his 'beard' as Darren had called her once: the cover to 'prove' to people that he wasn't gay. Well, as long as things didn't go too badly, he wouldn't have to worry about that for very long.

"Hey there," she smiled at him. "You rushed off earlier – I was thinking maybe you could come over and carry on where we left off, if you're up for it…"

"Uh, well actually I've already promised Jake and Nance that I'd go have dinner with them – haven't seen them in a while so I've been spending some time…" Jake opened his mouth, presumably to say that he wouldn't mind his little brother going off to spend time with Sarah, but Craig shut him up with a subtle shake of the head and look. Luckily, Jake got the hint.

Sarah stared confused at her boyfriend. She had just blatantly offered him sex, and he had flat out refused; for what? To have dinner with his brother? There was definitely something else going on here and Sarah was going to work it out. Pretending to be satisfied with this answer, she smiled and kissed Craig quickly and headed off home.

"So what's up?" Nancy asked as soon as Jake was busy with the dinner.

"You don't waste any time, do you?" Craig joked, stalling for time.

Unfortunately for him, Nancy saw through this straight away. "Quit stalling you! Now I know you want to tell me really, so don't make me drag it out of you!"

Somehow, everything that had happened in the last month or so came tumbling out of his mouth, faster than he could think of what he was saying. He found himself telling Nancy far more than he had ever planned on telling her: the jealousy that had bottled up every time he heard Spike's name, the reason why he had walked out of his exam, the way his stomach seemed to flutter every time he saw John Paul, how he had finally come to terms with how he felt and how he had messed everything up that morning. All the while, Nancy just sat there, understanding his need to tell the whole story and not judging his actions one bit. When he finally finished, he took a few deep breaths, trying to gauge Nancy's reaction but not finding one.

Eventually, Nancy spoke. "So what do you want to do now?"

Craig was flabbergasted. He would have understood her saying that he was being inconsiderate of Sarah's, JP's… even Spike's feelings; but this was completely unexpected. He thought back and realised that perhaps it was not – Nancy had had to grow up a lot faster than the rest of them, so maybe it wasn't such a surprise that she would think of something that he, himself had not. Well, he had thought of what he wanted to do, but hadn't thought that that would have been the advice given. The action he wanted that didn't involve clicking his fingers to make Spike disappear so that he and John Paul could skip off into the sunset holding hands of course.

"I want to call him. To tell him that I'm willing to do whatever it takes for him to trust me when I say… when I say that I love him, except how can I? He won't pick up his phone when I call."

"That's why I have a phone, Craig," Nancy stated simply, as if she were talking to a five-year-old.

Just then, Charlie started crying. Nancy apologised and walked over to the chair he was in, lifting him up and attending to him. Unfortunately, by the time she had finished with that, dinner was ready, so the three of them sat around the table. Craig wasn't talking as he was so anxious about what he was going to do, Jake wasn't talking as he found Craig silence awkward, so Nancy was left on her own trying to make conversation. Eventually, she got fed up of being the only one talking and said "Sorry, Craig but I have to break this silence. Jake – Craig was upset because he's scared to tell you he's in love with John Paul. There – all done. You don't have to worry any more."

Craig stared at Nancy, who was quite happily carrying on with her dinner. He refused to look at Jake, not wanting to see the rejection and disgust that was sure to be on his face… or even worse than that: pity. Scrap all that he had thought about Nancy growing up fast – she hadn't matured – she'd gone insane!

Jake was unsure of how to take this news – on the one hand, he'd heard lots of things about gay people and what they did, as well as the fact that he wanted to protect his brother from the prejudice; but on the other hand he knew that you can't choose who you love and that he couldn't hurt his brother by not standing by him on this. Looking at Craig's worried face, Jake realised that Craig didn't know that he would stand by him no matter what. He wasn't sure exactly what to do, but he followed Nancy's lead and just carried on talking as though nothing strange had happened.

After dinner was over and all the plates had been cleared away and washed up, Craig found himself sitting on Nancy's bed while she phoned John Paul, yet again. He hadn't picked up, but it wasn't as though he was doing so on purpose as it was simply ringing until it reached the answer-phone each time. Maybe he couldn't hear it for some reason… or maybe he was too busy with Spike. Craig tried to shake that idea from his mind, as he couldn't bear the thought of John Paul doing that with anyone but him.

Surprisingly, Jake had taken the news quite well after the initial shock. Craig shook his head and laughed quietly: maybe telling people wouldn't be as difficult as he had originally thought.

The phone began to ring. Craig looked at Nancy, suddenly very nervous about what he was about to do. She looked at him as if to say 'well get on with it then' before picking up the phone, holding it to his ear and pressing the green button. "John Paul!" he started. "Wait – please don't hang up. . "I just… I needed to talk to you," he continued weakly. He knew that he was sounding ridiculous, so took the phone from Nancy's grasp. Suddenly noticing how loud the background music was at JP's end, he felt a surge of happiness – it had simply been that he couldn't hear his phone! "Where are you? The music's pretty loud." Ok, now that was a stupid thing to say.

"What do you want, Craig?" asked John Paul. Well at least he hadn't hung up yet. "I would have thought you'd get the message that I didn't want to talk to you when I hung up on you earlier. Or is that why you're using Nancy's phone – to trick me into answering?"

"Please, John Paul. Just hear me out." Craig felt a little guilty. He had been tricking John Paul by using Nancy's phone and he knew it, but there had been a good reason. "I know that the way I went about apologising to you this morning was wrong--"

"Look – I'm a little busy now, so as much as I'm enjoying this little chat," here, John Paul's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "I think I'd rather get back to my evening with my boyfriend." Craig felt lost. JP had never spoken like this to him before.

Craig's squeezed his eyes shut, knowing he couldn't go through with this. Then, Nancy prodded him and whispered "If you don't tell him now, then you don't deserve him."

Forcing himself not to lose his nerve or ask JP what had happened to change his character so much, Craig surged ahead to the main point of the phone call. "I'm going to break up with Sarah."

If the music hadn't still been as loud as ever, Craig would have thought JP had hung up on him. He heard some guy yelling, presumably to John Paul, that some drinks were ready, but didn't hear any response to that. After what seemed like an age, John's Paul's voice could once again be heard on the other end of the line. "You do that, but if you do, it'll be for you; not for me. Don't try to make it seem like you're doing anything for my benefit because we both know you're only doing this so that you won't have to tell her about us. Now, as I said, I'm enjoying my evening with Spike, so please just leave us alone."

"Come on JP – let's go home," Spike soothed, making himself stay strong. He knew that John Paul would never love him the way that he loved Craig, but at the moment, JP needed him, so he would be there for him no matter what.

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