Gilderoy bit his lip hard to keep himself from letting out a shriek. He tasted blood, but he didn't care.

Lucius was sitting cross-legged on his bed, a razor that he had apparently stolen from Contraband pressed against his skin.

"Lucius, what are you doing?" he asked, realizing how stupid it sounded after he said it.

"I wonder." Lucius started etching lines on his arm, little slivers filled with blood that ran out and filled the crevices of his skin, making a morbidly beautiful webbed design. Well, it's beautiful now, but wait until it scars over, Gilderoy thought. He then mentally slapped himself.

He walked up to Lucius and tried to think of some way to take the blade from him without getting cut himself. He didn't have to worry about stopping Lucius for too long, because after a moment of Gilderoy's standing there, Lucius lifted the blade and looked up at him.

"Gilderoy, please," he said, mock-politeness flooding into his voice. "If you don't mind, I'd like to get this over with as quickly as possible."

"Why won't you do it while I'm here?" Gilderoy asked.

"Because I don't want to have you on my conscience when I die, thank you for asking, now get out."

Gilderoy backed up slowly until he found his bed and sat on it, keeping his eyes on Lucius the whole time.

Lucius sighed and put the blade down on the bed next to where he was sitting. "All right, Lockhart. You have my attention now. What is it?"

Gilderoy sat there and tried to come up with things to ask to keep Lucius occupied until Marlene came looking for him. "Why don't you want me on your conscience?" he asked finally.

For the first time since he had arrived at the hospital, Lucius looked uncomfortable. He stared at Gilderoy for a moment before tipping his head slightly. Gilderoy decided to press him a little farther. "After all, Lucius, you said you hate me. So why should it matter?" He stood up and started walking towards Lucius' bed. This apparently put the other man on the defensive.

"And why do you care one way or the other?" Lucius shot back.

"Because I - " Oh, this had better be good, Gilderoy…

"Yes?" Lucius prompted, raising an eyebrow. "Because you what?"

"Because I like you a great deal," Gilderoy finished lamely.

Lucius looked slightly disappointed. "I see," he said.

"Er, well, I mean, you said yourself I never had any lady friends," Gilderoy said quickly. "That was because I was - "

"Quite frankly, it was because I suspect you were the gayest boy that ever nanced his way into Hogwarts, and - dear god, if you're coming on to me I'll have to cause you bodily harm."

Gilderoy didn't give him time to make good on his threat. He seized Lucius' robes with his right hand and jerked him forward into a rather passionate kiss. With his left hand he found the razor Lucius had left on the bed and slipped it into his robes.

Kissing Lucius was easily the strangest thing that he had done (that he could remember, anyway), and for all the passion Lucius was putting into it he might as well have been kissing a cardboard box. He supposed that was a good thing - did he really want Lucius to be kissing back, anyway? And when he thought about it, it was possibly even a compliment. He was sure Lucius had never been kissed quite like this, since Gilderoy knew that even though he couldn't remember it, exactly, he was obviously a quite experienced kisser. Lucius was probably waiting for his senses to catch up to him.

When they did, however, it was not exactly the effect Gilderoy had expected. Lucius found Gilderoy's hand with his own, jerked it roughly off of his robes, and then shoved Gilderoy away. He didn't stop there, either. Before Gilderoy was able to fully register just what was happening, Lucius had him pinned to the floor, flat on his back in the middle of the room.

"There's a special place in hell for people like you," Lucius snapped.

"Oh, so you're homophobic," Gilderoy said.

Lucius slapped him. "I certainly am not. I'm considering filing for assault, but I'm not homophobic. And if you ever - "

"Lucius Malfoy, what the hell are you doing?"

Lucius and Gilderoy looked up to see Marlene standing in the doorway looking positively incensed. Lucius leapt to his feet, then, at complete odds with what he had just been doing, turned and helped Gilderoy up. Neither of them said a word – Gilderoy kept his silence to protect Lucius, and Lucius (Gilderoy was almost positive) to protect his own pride.

Marlene glared at both of them. She marched forward and stopped when she was almost directly in front of Lucius' face. Because she was so tall (or perhaps because Lucius was relatively short) she was able to look almost directly into his eyes.

"You," she said, "are going straight to confinement. And you're going to stay there until I feel better towards you. With no writing supplies. Understood?" Lucius remained silent, but walked to the door and stood there to wait.

"And as for you," Marlene said, turning to Gilderoy, "you're going straight to the doctor on call. He's informed me that he would like to speak with you."

Gilderoy nodded and walked out, past Lucius and into the hall. Natalie was waiting for him, and she led him out of the main hallway and into the office of the doctor on call.

Gilderoy had never had any reason to visit the doctor on call, with the exception of the day he had arrived at the hospital, and that entire day was a total haze. The man he saw in front of him didn't look familiar at all, but he seemed nice enough. Gilderoy sat in front of the handsome mahogany desk and promptly tuned out everything the doctor was saying. The kiss was still firmly on his mind, as well as the feeling of Lucius' hand coming in contact with his face.

Kissing Lucius had felt good, and…right, somehow. Probably because he still felt that Lucius needed protection for some reason, and he had been doing just that – protecting him. However, Lucius slapping him had bothered him deeply, because…well…

Gilderoy was slightly disturbed at the fact that he couldn't figure out why he had wanted Lucius to like it. It was an insult to his ego, sure, but for once that wasn't the point.

"I am not falling for my roommate."

"Sorry?" the doctor said, giving Gilderoy a strange look; Gilderoy realized with a start that he had spoken aloud.

"Nothing. You were saying?" he asked, in an attempt to recover himself.

"I was saying that you're going to want to go to your room and prepare."

"Prepare for…what?" Gilderoy said, smiling in a bemused sort of way.

"Your discharge, Gilderoy."