The next thing Gilderoy was aware of was that he was back in the ward. Lucius was sitting across the room, and for a moment Gilderoy thought he was wearing a red scarf of some sort, but then he realized that his throat was slit. Lucius' eyes were still open, however; he was still blinking, his eyes still tracking, he was still breathing…Gilderoy jumped up to help him, vaguely realizing that his hands were smeared with blood - Lucius' blood - but Lucius finished the job before he could get there, slicing his wrist open with a rather large razor he had stolen from Contraband. He was smiling in a serenely deranged sort of way, even when he stopped breathing.

Then Gilderoy felt himself being slapped across the face, and he woke up.

Lucius was kneeling on the bed, leaning over Gilderoy, his usually cold eyes wide and almost frightened. Gilderoy wanted to touch him, both to let Lucius know he was all right and to let himself know that Lucius was all right, but before he could Lucius pushed his hand away.

"You're here," Gilderoy said, feeling slightly dazed.

"Of course I'm here, you prat," Lucius said, not looking so much frightened anymore as agitated. "It's some ungodly hour of the night and you woke me up by screaming my name over and over. I was in there thinking you were being murdered, when you were actually having some dream…" Lucius started to get up, but Gilderoy grabbed his wrist and jerked him back down into a kneeling position on the bed.

"I'm not going to stay here with you, Lockhart," Lucius said, trying to pull his wrist out of Gilderoy's grasp.

"No, it's not that," Gilderoy said as he reached up with his other hand. He brushed Lucius' hair aside so he could get a better look at Lucius' neck. It seemed fine…

"What were you dreaming about, anyway?" Lucius asked, still trying to get his hand away from Gilderoy. He tossed his head suddenly, and his hair fell away from Gilderoy's hand and back over his shoulders.

"I dreamed that I hurt you. Badly. At least, I think I did."

Lucius looked at him strangely. "Right."

"I did, Lucius!"

"I never said you didn't, did I?"

"No, but -"

"Just shut up and go back to sleep."

Gilderoy let go of Lucius' arm reluctantly. Lucius pulled back and stood up, moving to a chair across the room. He sat in it and stayed there, staring at Gilderoy.

"What is it, Lucius?" Gilderoy asked finally.

"Are you going to go back to sleep or not?"

"Well, yes, but I thought –"

"Close your goddamned eyes."

Gilderoy closed his eyes and fell back asleep a few minutes later.

When he woke up again it was morning. As soon as his eyes focused he realized that Lucius was gone. A few moments later he noticed the sound of water running in the guest bathroom. Lucius must be in the shower, Gilderoy thought as he stood up, unbuttoning his nightshirt. He tossed it off and went into his own bathroom, turning on the water for his shower.

He had been in the shower for all of thirty seconds when he heard a loud yelp through the wall. He was still trying to think of what to do about it, considering he had a hairful of shampoo on his head, when there was a loud pounding on the bathroom door.

"Gilderoy!"

"What?" he yelled back.

"The showers share the same" – there were a few words that Gilderoy couldn't hear – "water system!"

"Oh…I know that!"

There was silence, until…

"Then why in hell are you in the shower when you know that's where I was!"

Gilderoy rinsed his hair quickly, then turned off the water. He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his still-dripping body. He opened the door and was confronted by Lucius, who was very wet, very naked, and very angry.

"It. Was. Cold," was all he seemed to be able to get out.

"Sorry about that," Gilderoy said quickly.

"I'm sure you are. And while I'm here, might I add that you have the most frightening home I've ever seen?"

"Frightening?"

"Look at it sometime."

"Self-portraits?"

"Yes."

"Oh, well, I had a lot of self-pride, Lucius! And you have to admit, you can't really blame me, can you?" Gilderoy said, smiling at him.

"I can't believe you just said that," Lucius said, pushing past Gilderoy and entering his bathroom. Lucius found one of Gilderoy's brushes and started to run it through his hair.

"And why is it so hard to believe?" Gilderoy said, opening a drawer and pulling out another brush for him to use himself.

"Because I find it hard to believe that someone can be quite so egotistical."

"It's not ego, Lucius, it's honesty!" Gilderoy replied, pushing Lucius out of the way so that he could get a better look in the mirror as to what he was doing.

"I'm not even going to justify that one with a response," Lucius said, shoving Gilderoy back. "I need to see what I'm doing, Gilderoy."

"But it's my mirror. You can use the other one," Gilderoy said, pressing against Lucius and pushing him out of the way again.

"I'm living here too, aren't I?"

"Yes…"

"Then I deserve some say in the matter!" Lucius knocked Gilderoy clear over to punctuate that last sentence. Gilderoy's towel slid out of its knot and fell, draping over his legs. Lucius gave him a long stare; Gilderoy wasn't sure if it was one of approval or one of scorn.

Ignoring his urge to cover himself as quickly as possible, Gilderoy stood up, letting the towel fall.

"You have no modesty at all, do you?" Lucius said dryly.

"You're one to talk, Lucius. Anyway, it's not like I've got something you don't."

"Well, yes, but you don't have to show off."

"Once again, you're one to talk."

"I'm not showing off," Lucius said, tossing his hair. "It's confidence."

"How is it confidence when you walk around undressed, yet showing off when I do it?"

"If you really have to ask -"

"…maybe I shouldn't know?"

"Good," Lucius said. He put down Gilderoy's brush and walked around Gilderoy and out of the bathroom. "Now do you trust me enough to let me leave the house for a few hours tonight, or will you have to chaperone?"

"I think I had better come with you -"

"I knew you would say that. I have to meet with some people tonight - previous engagement -"

"Previous to what?"

Lucius ignored him. "…And I'll have to take you to get new robes."

"What's wrong with my robes?" Gilderoy asked defensively.

"They're loud, for one thing -"

"I like them!"

"…I absolutely refuse to let you wear pink to this meeting, for another…"

"They're not all pink!"

"I don't care. You're getting new robes."

And no matter how much Gilderoy protested, Lucius refused to change his mind.

After Lucius convinced Gilderoy that Floo powder really was safe ("Much more so than riding that goddamned bus…") they stood outside of the robe shop in Diagon Alley. Gilderoy noticed that he kept getting odd stares and smiles from several of the people in the street. He smiled back and waved a bit. This seemed to make several women and even a few of the men very happy. Lucius rolled his eyes when he saw this and steered Gilderoy into the shop itself, where they were promptly assaulted by saleswomen and what looked like roughly twelve meters of flying measuring tape.

Gilderoy was too busy trying to keep close to Lucius and keep his own head on straight to really take in everything that was happening. Before he was fully sure they had begun, he had a set of black robes thrown over his arm.

"Well? Go try them on," Lucius prodded, pointing Gilderoy in the general direction of the fitting rooms. Gilderoy walked into one of them, feeling slightly dazed, and pulled the robes on.

They were extremely hot, extremely stiff, and extremely uncomfortable, with a high collar and several decorative garnishes down the front. Gilderoy opened the door again, feeling positively mortified.

"Not bad," Lucius said slowly, reaching out and adjusting them briskly. "What do you think?"

"Let's just say I have a whole new pity for vicars, Lucius." Gilderoy froze after it was out, slightly afraid that Lucius would take the remark personally.

To his amazement, Lucius laughed.

"That's the first shot you've taken at me since we met," he said, a note of what sounded like approval in his voice. "Good. Now change and meet me outside."

Gilderoy went back into the dressing room and shut the door, changing quickly. He met Lucius as he was paying for the robes; he arched his neck and got a good look at the price before hissing "Lucius! I won't let you spend that much money on my clothes!" into his ear. Lucius very discreetly pretended not to hear him as he finished laying gold on the counter. He turned sharply and led Gilderoy outside.

"At least let me pay you back when we get back to my place," Gilderoy said.

"No," said Lucius. "You're paying for my room, board and the therapy sessions I'll probably be starting -"

"There isn't a 'probably' about it!" Gilderoy interjected. Lucius wasn't listening.

"- so I think I ought to at least pay for some expenses."

"I don't think you should have to spend your money for something I -"

"I'm not exactly poor, Gilderoy," Lucius said through his teeth. "I can afford to help pay for expenses."

"I wasn't trying to offend you," Gilderoy said.

"It doesn't offend me."

"Well, you're acting like -"

"No. I'm not. Your refusing to give me my wand back offends me. Your treating me like a child offends me. Your acting like you're the Almighty Gilderoy Lockhart Who Deserves To Be Worshipped And Adored By All…well, it doesn't offend me so much as it annoys me. No, this doesn't even begin to offend me." With that, Lucius stalked into Flourish and Blotts'. Gilderoy tried to follow him, but was stopped by a rather large group of witches who had been watching him from across the alley. By the time he had fended them all off, Lucius was nowhere to be seen.