Title: Love Potion #14
By She-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Psycho!
Summary: Alternative to the 6th book if Snape had taught Love Potions.
Rating: +16 to be safe
Pairings: Harry/Draco, Hermione/Ron. Starring: In-Love-With-Herself Pansy
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter world, books or characters. JKRowling does.

CHAPTER THREE: Love Pentagon

There are some people whose writing is illegible even to their own selves. For example, those who write a dot so pronounced, it could as well be a zero or an "o." A one that looked like a seven… Harry belonged to this last group of people. Oh the futility of human error…

Potter,

Your performance in Potions was absolutely shameful. Be on your way to my office immediately. Deduction of points will be assigned depending on your promptness to my call.

Professor Snape.

Snape was expecting him in the office in question, looking as if he had just sat down.

"Ah, Potter," he regarded the boy with a deep, poisonous tone. "You took your time like with everything else to come to answer my request. That would be… 10 points from Gryffindor."

Harry walked over the desk silently and, finding no other choice, sat behind the desk. At that time, Snape laid over the desk his paper with a big, red D.

"Congratulations, Potter, it was a most horrendous work. I think you have surpassed my expectative of how incompetent you can be," however, this was unsurprisingly said with his lips forming a little smirk of satisfaction as he spoke.

"I expect you have been poisoned with love potion 14 for the last hour and you have other six to go. Now, as I said, this becomes half your year's grades…"

He leaned backwards, almost as if to savor this more. "And now about the second issue… I've a counter-acting potion in my possession… I could give you this antidote, but I don't see why I should waste it on your error."

Another smile and wistful sigh of satisfaction at his most correct appreciation. "You can continue to swoon over your perfect girl for the five and so hours the effects last."

Harry gritted his teeth and out of reflex, and the temptation of causing disappointment in Snape, he bit back, "I was lucky I didn't put hairs in my potion, then."

Snape's eyes and his head rose very slowly. "Potter," he spoke slowly and verbally looking down on the boy, "it makes no difference.

"If you had paid any attention in class, which I would be surprised you had, you would know the potion acts by sensorial perception, weather you look at them, touch them or smell them. What little difference it could make to you that you did not add the hairs was that the target was found by sight instead of taste."

Harry's eyes widened. Put aside the fall-for-first-person-you-look-at cliché for a moment, and this was some significant, terrifying piece of information.

This revelation meant he was supposed to feel different all of last hour – but how? Most importantly, for whom? He tried to recall, what was that he did when he sipped... An image of him self bringing the vial to his lips and watching carefully for Ron's reaction was what appeared in his mind.

He was in love with Ron?!

"Potter," Snape's voice drew Harry's out of his reverie – the kind of condescending tone that said 'I know it must be the revelation of your life, your true love... but I supremely don't care.' "You have nothing to do in my office, I'm absolutely sure. You might leave, go to your next class or something."

Harry was in such a daze in fact that he almost found himself crashing face first into the closed door instead of going though. Something that must have amused Snape, Harry was sure, even within that evil, over-acted sigh of exasperation.

Coming out from Snape's, Harry bumped into Malfoy going in, face low pensive... Truly, the boy was not himself; didn't even notice Harry was in front of him.

"Malfoy!" Harry regarded him, out of an impulse. "What are you doing…?"

Malfoy frowned upon sight of Harry as well. "What are you doing over here?"

"None of your business," retorted Harry, and this was the painfully perfect opening for Malfoy to say, smug and with a raised eyebrow, "Another fail, I note?"

Harry sneered. "What about you? I'm sure no love potion should make you shout at your sweetheart."

Malfoy suddenly seemed to have problems to breath. "Don't call her that!"

"You cared that much?" Harry said, his expression smug as well as curious as he started to move away. Draco Malfoy was staring back at him, quite unexpectedly at loss of words and, in the end, sneering.

That Potter! Whoever told him he could meddle with my life? The aggressive smile of challenge lingered as he walked inside.

--

"What do you mean, of course Parkinson can't have her potion right!" Draco protested and leaned over his professor desk. "She just isn't…talking to me! And we know she has silly fancied me since always!"

"Well, maybe, Mr Malfoy," said Professor Snape, rubbing his temples in his attempt to regain composure, "you shouldn't have attacked her while at my class. Never worry, though, your own interest will disappear in moments from now. Nevertheless, if you so wish, I could provide you the antidote –"

"Not me!" he raged. "Are you not listening? It's Pansy who's been acting strange!"

"Yet her potion has been graded as being just fine," Professor Snape retorted, his voice in a dangerous edge. "A bit overly sweet, I imagine, but it could not have addled with nothing but her personal judgment. I'm not changing her grade, Mr Malfoy."

"Well, then, that's what is wrong then!" Draco decided, rising to straighten up composed. "I'll have that antidote and get her to drink it." He held out his hand towards the Potions Master.

"But of course," Professor Snape had said, turning around to reach for a potion in the shelves behind his desk without rising from the chair. He handed, no, we should say he was stolen the potion from his hand by Draco's own. Draco held the bottle in his hand, curiously peering at it, and Professor Snape folded his arms over the desk.

"Will that be all you need, Mr Malfoy," he asked, with only the subtle hint of sarcasm. "No, that would be all," was Mr Malfoy's own unique retort. Draco walked out of the office without a goodbye, holding the bottle and ogling at it like something very powerful had been given to him.

Which, Professor Snape knew, it wasn't. Whatever use that potion was going to be given by Malfoy, it was going to be impossibly bad and merely nothing but good.

--

A trip to the toilet later to talk himself into… walking out, and then Harry got to the Grounds for Care of Magical Creatures.

He spotted Hermione and Ron at the front of the class, and joined them tentatively, biting his own lip while watching Ron. Now he had to pick something, anything. It couldn't be that difficult, he pondered… right?

He bypassed Crabbe and Goyle who sat at either side of Tracey Davies. Malfoy looked odd alone, but as smug as ever. Even, maybe, more than usual.

Then came Pansy, late, strutting to the class grounds with a healthy smile and looking like someone who had nothing missing in her life.

"Gather aroun', gather aroun'!" Hagrid told the students followed by the distinctive sound of a girl ouch (Pansy was holding the side of her hair pouting over it while Malfoy, by her side, bit his own finger to stop himself from laughing). "Y'all haf to follow me, so up yer go!"

Harry's eyes lingered in the cracked trophy couple, because Malfoy was whispering something to Pansy Harry couldn't help feeling edgy about, and had to catch up to Ron and Hermione. The three, Ron, Harry and Hermione walked forwards the quickest to reach Hagrid in the front, who was moving in large steps down the pumpkin patch. Because they were ahead in the group, Ron felt safe to press the matter.

"Not avoiding me, huh?" Harry felt his heart do a weird jump. "'Mione, what did the potion do to you?" Oh it was only that… Ron had a defensive, glaring expression. Harry had just walked himself into something. "What hairs did you use for your potion anyways?"

Even in her current state, and walking while looking only forwards, Hermione did respond. "I didn't use."

Both Ron and Harry looked surprised— or should we say, their attention was captured, and she added fast, "We had to brew number 14 but I got all the ingredients, so I brewed... a lust potion. So I didn't need any hairs."

The blush was five times redder. Had she looked Ron and Harry's faces, it might have been even worse. "You know, I figured if Snape ignored me as always he might not notice. The effects should wear out in short..."

And her face went much down-er. And Harry was starting to appreciate, with much bewilderment, that he could tell very well understand why! Of course, she was not ignoring them as much as he was avoiding every male student that was near her. As she was currently on that too: at this point she was blocking both sides of her face with her hand so she could only see forwards.

Harry's own cheeks felt very hot all of the sudden. That and he felt an uncontrollable urge to snort. Sadly, Ron wasn't thinking it that amusing.

"Lust potion?" he said. "But you don't look lust-driven!"

"Shhh!" Hermione said, still with the hands on her face and stopping on her track. Harry offered, "Maybe you are underestimating Hermione's capacity for self-control."

Ron glared. "Well, you aren't! I think Hermione made a mistake and didn't brew a Lust Potion."

Hermione stopped again, but he was half hidden in bushy hair and her hands and, in a continuous refusal to look Ron's way, lowering her head. "Oh because you are suddenly The Master on the knowledge of love and passion!"

"Yeah, maybe I am!" Ron said defensively-- but sounding stupid, to whoever's ears. "I'll bet it's wrong. I didn't see you drool over any boy today!"

"I'm not going to drool over some boy only because I feel some – some lust, Ron Weasley!" said Hermione, for a second looking like she was going to turn to him and definitely getting flustered. And the word "lust" came as if it pained her or scared her.

Then Ron saw, as he was looking forwards himself, Hagrid, who was finally found some spot to wait for the students, and his mind did a very odd click.

"Of course!" he said, "you don't lust over boys because you are absolutely in love with the professors! I'll bet you like someone like Flitwick or Hagrid, don't you?"

Hermione looked up at Ron's face, at last; the hands dropped and face flushed, but was especially shocked, still and unbelieving. Something in Ron's mind said "aha!"

And Hermione stomped hard on Ron's feet.

"OUCH!"

"Alrigh', students… Students! Settle down!"

Hagrid gestured the last of the students dangerously nearing the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Some seemed to realize this, while the others were maybe a bit too busy ogling each other.

If Hagrid noticed any of the students' uncommon behavior, he surely didn't exteriorize it. He hesitated once or twice when he saw Crabbe and Goyle hitting one another in the back of the head various times, each time harder... but shook his head; no comments.

He busied himself bringing huge stones and pumpkins into a round ending more or less in the Forbidden Forest, apparently so that the students could sit, facing it.

"That's 'bout it! We'r all settled up," he said and cleaned his sweat in a towel he used as handkerchief. "Come closer, it's this... 'Mione, yer sure you feel well?"

And Harry realized with some horror, upon turning the same way, Hermione was there indeed and… let me say she was looking a lot more at ease. She was sighing contentedly and ahead, almost in trance and it seemed she had forgotten her previous exercise: avoiding looking at boys. Therefore how she got caught staring...

"Centaurs?!" Ron said, horrified.

"I wasn't!" To Hermione dismay, that had came out so sudden, she could do nothing but hyperventilate.

"That's it!" Ron took her by the arm. "You are coming with me to get an antidote." He called as he was moving away, "Hagrid, we are leaving to take Hermione to the Hospital Wing!"

"Ron!" Hermione protested blushing madly as Ron carried her away (Welcome to my world, Hermione— Harry's thoughts.)

"I'ff prepared a special class fer today! We'r visited by an ol' friend relative," Hagrid was telling them. "Oh, right, Ron, you can go."

Hagrid looked somewhat disappointed but was not thwarted.

He coughed into his massive fist with a smile. "Ev'rybody, meet Rufus!"

Without any other presentation, other than the provocative (...no) hairy, peeking stick-like leg, something black and tall as a person jumped out of the forest shadow into sight. A something that had eight legs, hunger and went for the students—

"ARGH!"

Ron Weasley found himself clinging to the smaller body of Hermione Granger, who in turn had sized his and Harry's wrist pulling them away. Now, quite honestly, this would usually be Harry's role and Hermione would lose it to panic. But concentration to impede lust was currently stronger than panic, and Harry's only thoughts were 'From all the brilliant plans...'

The crowd dispersed like a scared herd, to the chorus of screams and shouting. A few more students ran the other way towards the gates back to the school; the others either tripped in fear and looked for cover, two behind Hagrid, or dived behind trees, some even into the Forest without a second thought.

Like the last, so were our three heroes.

"Are you okay?" asked Hermione, motherly staring up at Harry. He was caught up in staring back at Hagrid trying to regain control of the one meter and half tall acromantula he had brought for today's class. ("Ya promis'd to behave!" Hagrid shouted as he was wrestling with the giant, overexcited spider.) "Huh? Yeah, yes, I'm fine – and Ron?"

But something must have been wrong, that with Ron's face being that tone of red.

"Fine, if you are so capable of helping each other... you don't need me."

And as soon, he was strutting away, without looking at Harry OR Hermione! Harry was perplexed but... Hermione…

Hermione had come to ask Harry if he was okay and looked him in the eyes, and... she did look, maybe, a bit too lovingly. But, Ron? She hadn't spared him a look, not even as Ron sulked away. Harry thought Ron had every reason to be offended!

"Why did you – Hermione, no, listen to me – you go look for him, I'm going back to help Hagrid. Don't come back without him," he added with his best dead serious expression.

Hermione looked to want to protest, but Harry moved away. He saw they were going for the exit of the forest and towards the lake. That gave him enough reassurance of their safety before coming back looking for the others and for Hagrid, drawing his wand out with the intention to help.

He found Neville who had been more or less followed them (Hermione, specifically) and got lost… sigh… so Harry pointed him towards the exit.

He came across Seamus who got himself somewhat tangled in a wriggly branch which was either a baby devil's snare or... maybe a whooping willow, but he got himself out of that one alone.

At some point, too, Ron came back, looking for Harry. ("I heard a scream." Neville's… "Where's Hermione?" "She's back at the school grounds." And then he left and that's about it.) Then he found Pansy sitting in 'trance' on a clearing in the grounds, "Shhh! I'm about to cross this plane of existence into eternity."

He left her shaking his head. Hagrid had scared the acromantula away and most students seemed to be back but, to make sure, Harry wandered over the woods a bit longer. Then, a murmuring caught his attention.

Harry pushed some dead branches and brushes out of the way and stumbled upon a clearing. The voice at that point became familiar to him, and then recognizable. A sudden impulse sized him and he shielded himself from view behind a three, clenching the wand hard on his hand.

Malfoy had a three-quarter turned his back to Harry, where he could still make a face. From the blabbing, he picked the words "Pansy" and "fat cow." This was it, perfect opportunity Harry sized for action. He stepped into the clearing, just at the time of Malfoy's "oh, bloody nevermind!" his shoulders slumped down, and he was walking away; he had not noticed Harry. But where was Pansy?

Something was odd. It was the same nasty smirk Harry knew so well, his natural body language, walking importantly and with that laughing sneer. But, apparently, he had been talking… to a tree. (Were everyone going to act like madmen today?)

Harry followed Malfoy to the edge of the forbidden forest were a bit of lake loomed over them. He had watched previous his usual nasty expression melted out from his face as if result of a spell, out from the version of the old proud Malfoy; defeated, and purposeless. Malfoy was now sulking and sitting on the ground, pulling the grass besides him to throw away in moody fashion.

He looked positively miserable-- and it served him right!

However strange it was to see him, Malfoy, just giving up, this changed nothing. Whatever the circumstances, Harry had enough. 'Suppose this didn't happen often… but he would have to stand up to Malfoy… for Pansy. Weird life…

"Leave her alone," he had said as he went up to finally face him; Malfoy swirled around fast forwards with a shocked expression. "I don't know what your problem with Pansy is –"

"Don't meddle in my life, Potter!" was Malfoy's sole retort when he found his voice, and by chance remembered he was supposed to act sulky. Harry stepped forwards.

"You treat her like scum!"

"What do you care! Don't you have someone to boast about your stupid scar?" Malfoy bleated.

"You mean like you?" Harry shook his head. "It's Pansy we are talking about. I'm serious, Malfoy. What has she done to you?"

"She's a big daft hag that she did! That little, arse, miss perfect thinks she can just walk around followed by her crowd of hag fans! Can I join you for shopping? You have such a good taste, Pans! Oh I don't know what I would do without you, Pans! I'll bet she also has articles in the daily prophet," he pouted-ly rambled to what Harry could only frown, bewildered.

"What are you talking about!" he asked, then chuckled with his own evil smirk. "Oh, I get it. It seems somebody got sore he got dumped by his love potion-fed girlfriend."

"Shut up, Pansy."

Harry let the insulting sentence pass in lieu of a more attention-drawing content of the same. "Pansy? I'm Potter, Malfoy."

The innocent (albeit confused) remark had a powerful effect on the other boy. Realization, or some other thing, washed over Malfoy's expression while his eyes grew big as plates.

"Malfoy!"

Draco startled as Harry stepped forwards and spoke; Malfoy held his hands defensively, "What, no, it's alright, nothing wrong!"

"I didn't ask if something was wrong!" Harry said in a grave voice going high-pitched out of bewilderment; whenever was this about he even caring there was something wrong?

Malfoy lowered his hands to the ground and grew a smirk. "Oh, yeah," he said, leaning back. "I would feel insulted if I had been called a Pansy myself." His smirk grew. "Or a Pansy."

Harry was furious to be driven to retort, "That's not what I meant."

Malfoy laughed holding his stomach and flinging his feet over the ground. "I asked-- no," Harry started over, "I'm telling you to leave Pansy alone. You can't be bullying somebody because they reject you!" Funny, wasn't it the other way round…?

Malfoy last chuckles died into a sneer and he was glaring at a blind spot; he looked up with a smirk that had formed in his face, twitching as he mouthed the word 'no'.

"Make me."

--

"Am I really that ugly?"

Ron was asking.

This was while escorting Hermione thought the corridors to the Hospital Wing. They had stopped, Hermione had been distracted again by the faint sight of some boy passing by, surely, and it snapped said question. Ron had gone from angry to positively… sad.

Hermione had finally agreed to go to see the School Nurse now the class had been... cancelled, let's say. Also, she didn't feel much better. All the while, she had of course avoided Ron and, as well, had not been as picky about any other passing-byer. Reason why now Ron was sulking, being too proud to look openly offended for too long.

"No!" Hermione had responded in a moment of despair and forcing her gaze away from this Ravenclaw Quidditch player coming from Charms-- So even she could tell Ron had reasons to act like that, yes. It was still childish but… It was her role to be the most… mature in their rela--friendship.

Ermso…

Hermione gulped after several moments of gapping, closing and opening her mouth to speak. It was just a moment before she realized she had looked at him directly, 'corrected' herself and unconsciously added to Ron's paranoia and grunting. Hermione was VERY mad at the part of her brain that was currently in charge of his locomotor functions.

"Oh, don't be like that Ron… If I don't look at you it's because... you know, I…" Hermione gulped. She had no way out of this one… "I find you more attractive than Harry," she tried to explain composedly, and she did manage to sound as if she was giving a lecture about homework.

"Yes, sure, like I'm going to eat that," Ron answered, walking with such violent gesture you might think he was punching the air. Of course, Hermione got flustered and angry again with the speed of lightening.

"See yourself! I just told you I like you and-- and you are so busy being jealous and a prick you don't care I did!" she said, besides herself, walking fast behind him because she could barely keep up.

Ron stopped on his tracks, causing Hermione to almost bump on him, and turned and seemed to immediately regret this.

He looked at Hermione with his mouth gapping open, glared with his mouth gapping open, and looked about to leave with his mouth gapping open. Then turned around at the last minute and poutly said,

"Well, who—who just told you that was – going to make me feel any better!" he finished, hands raised and walking forwards again. His movements were still strange, though they lacked the same gusto from before… He didn't seem to be able to flex his muscles. Not that Hermione would tell in HER current state…

"YOU UNBELIEVABLE, UNFEELING GIT!"