A/N: I'm so sorry about the long wait for this chapter. This summer has been kind of crappy, and among other things I haven't been allowed on the computer. So I have a bunch of chapters hand written, but it's going to be hell to try to type them, as I'm only supposed to be on the computer for school work. And telling my parents that I had a last minute English project was the only was I could get on the damn thing. Anyway, the whole point of that long story was to let you all know that I'll update whenever I get the chance.

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. – Ingrid Bergman

So shalt thou feed on Death that feeds on men; And Death once dead, there's no more dying then. - William Shakespeare

Chapter Twelve

Lily hugged her arms tight around herself and let the tears she'd been holding back fall. Shoulders shaking, she walked to the side of her bed to pick up the alarm clock that she had sent crashing to the floor, and cursed viciously when she stepped on a sliver of glass, "Bloody, fucking, son of a bitch."

She grabbed her wand, waved it and had the glass returning to her bedside table, fully repaired. Then she sat on the bed and quickly healed the slice on her foot. She glanced around the room to see if there was any other evidence of James spending the night there, when she saw that there wasn't she quickly put her pajamas back on and went down to breakfast.

"Oh, Lily, I was just about to come up and wake you." Mrs. Evans said not turning around from the stove. "Pancakes?"

Lily blinked, "Er, yeah, sure." She replied in a raw voice.

Mr. Evans glanced up from the Newspaper that he was reading and Mrs. Evans turned around. "Lily, are you alright?"

Lily cleared her throat, "Yeah, I'm fine. I think I'm just getting a cold is all." She lied. She didn't want to tell them about Mr. Potter just yet; there would have been no way for her to know unless James had been there the night before.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans glanced at each other, "Sweetheart, it looks like you've been crying." Mr. Evans said.

Lily shrugged, "No, I'm fine. I'm just getting a bit sick."

Mrs. Evans narrowed her eyes at her daughter, but shook her head at her husband when he went to question Lily further. "Alright." She poured Lily a glass of orange juice, "Here, drink this, it'll help with your cold."

"Thanks." Lily muttered.

"Petunia just called, she and Vernon have gotten everything settled in their new house; they want to have us and Vernon's family over for dinner. And since the house is all the way in Surry we'll have to spend the night, Petunia is very excited about it. Do you want to come?"

Lily didn't have to think about it, "No, thanks."

"Lily."

Lily felt her temper rise, she purposefully set the glass of juice down, "Mum, you know as well as I do that Petunia and Vernon do not want me at their house anymore than I want to be there."

"You girls are sisters; you should at least try to get along." Mrs. Evans replied. "At least Petunia was trying last Christmas."

Lily managed to hold back a snort, barely. "Yeah, Petunia's a real angel."

"Lily." Mr. Evans said sharply.

"What?" Lily replied raising her voice enough to have her parents raising their eyebrows at her.

"You mind your tone with us, young lady." Mr. Evans said. "You might not be a child anymore, but we're still your parents, and you will respect that."

Lily laughed hollowly, "Fine, I'll watch my tone with you. But, Petunia and I are never going to get along. I've tried for years to be nice to her, but I'm bloody sick and tired of it. I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not when she's around, I'm tired of being called a freak, I'm tired of the looks and the insults and, and, and everything else." She yelled, wiping the tears from her face. She turned on her heel and stormed back up to her bedroom.

"Where did that come from?" Mr. Evans asked. "I don't think Lily's ever spoken to us like that."

"I don't know Michael. Something was bothering her when she came down this morning."

"Should we go up and talk to her?" He asked.

Mrs. Evans glanced up at the ceiling, "No, not now at least. Let's give her some time to herself. We'll talk to her tomorrow, when we get back from Petunia's."

"I can't believe they really think that I would go to Petunia's voluntarily." Lily mumbled to herself as she paced her room. Then she flopped down on her bed, "And I can't believe that I'm worried about not getting on with my sister, bloody hell, James' father just died, and I'm pissy over Petunia." She took a deep breath. "Okay, I've got to get over her, she doesn't like me, and I don't like her. Case closed. Just now I never have to deal with her again, if I don't want to."

"Okay, that's better." She decided when she felt herself calming down. "Now I just need to figure out what I can do to help James."

Lily was lying on her bed staring through a book, rather than reading it, when her mother knocked. She quickly wiped the tears from her face. "Lily, we're leaving." She said sitting down next to Lily. "Oh, Lily, I wish you would tell me what's wrong."

Lily looked at her mother for a second then launched herself into her arms. Mrs. Evans, taken off guard for a moment, jolted in surprise before wrapping her arms around her daughter. "Lily, please tell me."

Lily glanced up, sniffed, "It's not fair mum." She cried.

"What's not fair, honey?" Mrs. Evans asked stroking a hand over Lily's hair.

"He's dead, he was a good, man and he's dead. Why do good people have to die, why can't it be people who deserve it? It's not fair."

Mrs. Evan's stomach clutched, childhood she thought ends much too quickly. "Who's dead?"

"James' dad and I don't know what to do for him."

"Oh." Mrs. Evans said softly, remembering the man she had met in her kitchen a few weeks before, "I'm sorry. When did it happen?"

"Last night. It was in this morning's paper."

"That's what was bothering you this morning?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry that I spoke to you and daddy the way I did. It's just I…" Lily trailed off, unable to express how she had been feeling.

"It's alright, darling. Have you seen James?" Lily hesitated, unsure of how to reply. Mrs. Evans looked at Lily and sighed, thinking of the crack that had awakened her briefly in the middle of the night. "He was here last night." She stated.

Lily didn't meet her mother's eye, simply nodded. "It wasn't the first time was it?" Mrs. Evans asked, though she knew the answer. Again Lily didn't answer, but she felt the blush creep up from her neck. Mrs. Evans sighed again, it had been hard enough accepting the fact that Petunia had been with a man, but Lily was her baby. "You are being responsible aren't you?"

Lily nodded mutely again, then panic stricken, "You're not going to tell daddy are you?" She burst out.

"No, I don't think your father can take that right now. We'll keep it between the two of us."

Lily nodded again with a mumbled, "Thanks."

"Sarah?" Mr. Evans called, "Sarah, what's taking you so long?" He asked poking his head into Lily's room. "Lily, why are you crying? What's going on?"

Lily and her mother looked at one another, "Grayson Potter just passed away." Mrs. Evans murmured to her husband getting up to join him by the door.

Mr. Evans' eyes softened, "Oh, er, give James our condolences when you write to him next." Lily nodded, didn't meet her mother's eye.

"Do you know when the services are going to be?"

"No, soon I'd imagine." Lily mumbled.

"Let us know when you find out." Mrs. Evans said, "Your father and I would like to go." Mr. Evans nodded in agreement.

"Alright."

Mrs. Evans walked back to her daughter, ran her hand over Lily's hair, "I've left you some food in the refrigerator; all you have to do is heat it up."

Lily nodded, "Thanks."

Mrs. Evans sighed, "You and I need to have a talk tomorrow when your father and I get home."

Lily nodded, "I know."

Mr. Evans looked from his wife to his daughter with narrowed eyes, Mrs. Evans shook her head at him, "It's a mother-daughter thing." She murmured to him.

"Lily, we should be back by one tomorrow afternoon." Mr. Evans said.

Lily glanced at her clock; it was four thirty, "Okay." She replied. "I love you, both of you."

"Sweetheart, we love you too." Mr. Evans said.

Lily sighed loudly when she heard the front door close. It could have been worse. She decided lying back down on her bed. She stared at the ceiling finding she couldn't muster the energy to do anything else. Lily closed her eyes for a moment and found it was dark when she opened them again it was dark. She groped for the alarm clock, "Bloody hell, it's nine fifteen." She shook her head in disbelief.

She stretched slightly then made her way down to the kitchen to find herself something to eat. She opened the door to the refrigerator and looked at the contents without much interest.

"Lily?" Lily screamed and turned around.

"Jesus bleeding Christ, James." Lily said placing a hand over her heart. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry." James replied. "I didn't mean to."

"How long have you been here?" Lily asked.

"Not very. I saw that you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh, thanks I guess. But you should have." Lily said. "How are you? How's your mum doing?"

James shrugged, "As best as can be expected I guess, for the both of us."

Lily hugged James and pulled him close to her. "I'm so sorry that you have to go through this." She said as James buried his face in her hair.

"It's so weird being home without him there, and knowing that he's never going to be there again."

Lily looked up at him, her eyes full of sympathy, and rubbed his cheek with her hand, "I know."

James kissed her forehead, "And it's just, Merlin, I never even got to say goodbye to him." He said, his voice choking. "I didn't know and I wasn't there, I was with Remus, Sirius, and Peter. I was out with my friends because I didn't know he was dying and now I'll never see him again."

"James." Lily said softly. "It's not your fault. There was a reason that your parents didn't tell you. Your dad probably didn't want you to see him like that, and knowing your dad, he probably would have liked it better that you were with your best friends when it happened. You can't beat yourself up over something that you had no control over. All you can do now is be there for your mum."

James rested his forehead on Lily's, "Thank you."

Lily looked at him questioningly, "For what?"

"Everything you've done for me."

"James."

"No, and even if I was a bit of an ass this morning. I know I hurt you when I told you I didn't want you around."

Lily shrugged, "Doesn't matter, and I figure that you're entitle."

James kissed her softly, "I love you."

"I love you too, James."

"The service is going to be the day after tomorrow. I'm going to need you there."

"Of course." Lily said without hesitation. "My parents said that they'd like to come too, when I told them about, er, what had happened."

"Yeah," James said, "that would be nice. I know I'd appreciate that, and I think mum would too."

"Okay, I'll, I dunno, apparate them over or something."

"Where are your parents anyway?"

"They're at my sister's house in Surrey. They'll be back tomorrow afternoon." Lily replied kissing James lightly.

The kiss, which Lily had meant to be quick and comforting, quickly turned more passionate. James' hand ran up Lily's back and fisted in her hair as he backed her against the counter while she nipped at his lower lip.

James quickly disposed of Lily's shirt, and frowned at the bruises on her upper arms. Lily, leaning back against the counter and breathing heavily, slowly opened her eyes. "What?" She asked.

"Are those from last night?" James asked running his finger over the bruises.

Lily looked down, "Mmm, yeah, I think."

James looked disgusted with himself, "I did that to you. Merlin, Lily, I'm sorry, why didn't you tell me I was hurting you."

Lily smiled, thoroughly confusing James, and shrugged, "I honestly didn't notice." James narrowed his eyes at her, "Seriously." She added. "James, they're not bad, they don't even hurt."

"Are their more?" He asked still looking concerned. Lily shook her head in exasperation. "Lily did I put any more bruises on you."

Lily looked him in the eye, "Here and there. But James they weren't on purpose and I didn't even know they were there until I took a shower this morning. And Merlin knows they were worth it."

But James wasn't listening to her, "Where?" He asked.

Lily rolled her eyes, "Did you even listen to what I just said?"

"Lily, where?" James asked softly.

Lily rolled her eyes again. She showed him the insides of her wrists which had dark smudges on them; then as James eyed her narrowly she slipped out of her shorts to show him the finger shaped smudges on her hips. "James I've had worse walking into things, I wish that you'd stop worr…"

She didn't get the chance to finish her sentence because James silenced her with his lips. "Stop talking, Lily."

Lily pouted, but the pout fell from her face as James took her face in his hands and kissed her gently. She could all but feel her eyes roll back in her head as the bones in her legs turning to liquid. "I never meant to hurt you." Lily opened her mouth, but James silenced her with a look. He moved from her lips to the bruises on her biceps placing butterfly kisses on each before moving on. "You're such a strong person that sometimes, like last night; I forget that you're delicate."

"I'm not fragile James…" Lily murmured.

James took each of Lily's wrists in his hands and kissed them softly, "I'm talking now love." He replied. "No, you're not fragile, you're delicate, there's a difference. You're amazing, perfect."

Lily shook her head, "Not perfect." Was all she could manage.

"You've flaws, yes, but to me, for me you're perfect. You bring out the best in me. You make me want to be a better person, and I am better than I was before, thanks to you." James bent to knees in front of Lily to place kisses on the bruises on her hips before standing in front of her again. He waved his wand and had their discarded clothes zooming up the stairs; he placed the wand in the back pocket of his pants before he picked Lily up so that she was cradled in his arms.

Lily looked at him through wet lashes, "You bring out the best in me too. You balance me, make me… whole." She whispered as he laid her gently on the bed.

"You are the most amazing person I've ever known in my life. I want to promise that I'll never hurt you, in any way, ever again. But I can't it wouldn't be true, I'll leave marks on you again."

Lily looked up at him, "I know." Then she smiled, "I'll probably bruise you some too."

James chuckled softly, as he removed her bra and panties. "I know." He kissed her softly as he settled himself between her legs, Lily's hips bucked involuntarily. James placed his hands on either side of her face as he kissed her softly, "I love you more than life itself, you're mine, Lily." He said as he pushed himself into her.

Lily's vision blurred as he thrust slowly in and out of her. "Always." She said her voice catching. "Always," she repeated, "and you mine, James." She added capturing his face between her hands and pulling him down to kiss her.

She gasped as he began to thrust harder, but her eyes stayed open and on his as her hips matched his pace. "Yes." He groaned against her lips, "Forever." And they watched each other as they both went over the edge, simultaneously.

Lily adjusted the hem of her black dress for what seemed like the hundredth time as her mother walked into the room. "Lily your father and I are ready. I think that you should bring your father to the Potter's house soon, so that you and I will have a moment to talk."

"Alright, mum." Lily said stepping away from her mother. "Daddy, I'll bring you now if you're ready."

Mr. Evans looked up from the paper he was reading. "Terrible." He muttered. "A gas explosion in Bristol; killed fifty seven people."

Lily glanced at the paper, and her lips tightened as she remembered reading about the giant attacks in that mornings Daily Prophet. "Yeah." She said noncommittally. "Remember to hold on to me, alright Daddy?"

"Alright." He replied not looking to happy about the situation. "Let's get this over with then."

Lily nodded and held out her arm, "On the count of three; one, two, three." She said with a pop.

With a second pop Lily and her father appeared outside James' house. "Wow." Mr. Evans said. "That is absolutely the oddest sensation of my life."

"It does take some getting used to." Lily agreed. They walked to the front door in silence; she knocked on the door and was surprised to find Mrs. Potter answering the door herself. "Hello, Mrs. Potter."

"Lily, dear. Thank you for coming." She said pulling Lily into a tight hug.

"Of course. Mrs. Potter this is my father Michael Evans. Dad this is Isadora Potter."

"I'm sorry to meet you under these circumstances." Mr. Evans said. "Your husband was a good man."

Mrs. Potter smiled slightly, "Yes, he was."

"Mrs. Potter I've just got to apparate back home so I can get my mum, I'll be back soon."

"Yes, of course dear. I'll tell Jimmy that you're here if I see him."

"Thank you. Daddy, I'll be back in a minute with mum." Mr. Evans nodded at her, then with a pop she was back in her living room.

"Lily. Lord you frightened me." Mrs. Evan said.

"Sorry mum."

"No, no, that's alright." Mrs. Evans said with a wave of her hand. "Before we go I want to talk to you. This cannot be avoided anymore, Lily."

Lily shifted uncomfortably. "I know."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes, more than I can say."

Mrs. Evans nodded, "Lord this is uncomfortable for me."

Lily let out a short laugh. "Tell me about it.

Mrs. Evans sighed, "It's hard for me to think of you as anything other than my little girl. It's very difficult for me to think of you as a young woman now. And the thought of you having… of doing… of being with a man is hard for me."

"I know mum. And I know that you and daddy would've rather me waited until marriage, and you must be disappointed in me, but…"

"Did I say I was disappointed in you?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"No, but, still." Lily said waving her hand helplessly.
Mrs. Evans kissed her daughter on the forehead, "I'm not disappointed in you Lily. You love him, and he loves you, yes?" Lily nodded in affirmation. "And you're not doing anything you're not ready for?" Lily shook her head in response. "Well then, okay. Though I don't think that we'll tell daddy, I don't think he could handle it."

Lily smiled, "I love you, mum."

"I love you too, baby." Mrs. Evans blew out a breath. "Okay, let's, what did you call it, appertate, over there."

Lily smiled again, "Apparate." She said holding out her arm. "Hold on; one, two, three."