The Bleak Adventures of Puppet Sasori
Insomniac: Aaaaah!!! Sumimasen minna-san! This chapter has long been delayed! But it's up now so enjoy!
Sckitzo: Thank you to all the readers who have reviewed. Your responses are inspirational to me! This chapter will not be too short to make up for the time it took for me to update (sorry about that!) Now that Sasori finally got rid of the old bat Chiyo, what is a puppet to do?
Another new guest appearance will arrive. Its one of Konoha's finest, that's for sure.
Disclaimer: Don't own any of Naruto or Pinocchio
Chapter Five –
The cottage on the outskirts of the dreaded forest, the home of our very own tanuki, lay deserted. Beginning with various cobwebs that hung from the ceiling of the adobe, a pile of dishes stacked in the disused sink, and an ever-pungent odor of rotting eggs through the rug – thus the melancholy of the furred beast began.
Aquamarine eyes followed a fluttering butterfly, a predatory gaze never once faltering from the delicate insect. Beside the bush where his master had found him sat the raccoon, prepared to make the kill. A little longer – a moment now – and! Pounce!
"Hehehe … Die! Die! Die!" chuckled the mad raccoon, twittering the dead carcass of the butterfly. Gaara sniffed his prize, before licking his fingers and disposing of its remains. He sighed with contentment and curled his toes. What great work was done today!
No sooner had the thought ran through his mind before a splitting ache gnawed and pounded at his skull. The crazed tanuki winced, racking his stubby claws across his scalp. Gaara clenched his roots, scraping so softly, and whispered, "Mother? What is it?" The one-tailed creature shook, carrying a conversation with itself. How clever had he felt, "Should we go bother the master? No?"
Gaara jolted from his stupor and muttered, "Why not? Master knows so much."
A vociferous growl erupted from the under belly of the beast. The tanuki had the gall to look morbidly appalled. He, the Great Bearer of Shukaku? Slowly deteriorating over lack of essential nutrients, such a weakness was he!
Another gargle. Gaara doubled over, "Ah! I can't take this anymore! We are still so hungry. Stupid baa-chan, without her we are starving." Bawled the tanuki, ruing the day he suggested the blood-letting of the hag. His master, as luck would prevail, could not feel the pain he felt. A puppet could not eat. Was it fair that the pet must suffer?
Gaara sniffled, ignoring the booming laughter echoing throughout his skull at his sorry predicament. "Temari the canary and Kankuro the cat ran away so long ago it feels. Without them we starve!" The ring-tailed raccoon whined, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. "It was a bad idea after all, Shukaku, to let Master punish the hag."
But oh, how could young Gaara say those blasphemous words? The vision of the puppet's deranged grandmother, her blood soaking the alley floors, brought a strange euphoria to every single one of the creature's senses.
He admitted with shame that the sight caused him to salivate.
Yes, the almighty Gaara of the Desert drooled.
An indigenous croak interrupted the great raccoon's train of thought. His ears perked up to the sound, eagerly contemplating the intrusion. 'A meal?' Gaara thought, cackling with glee. Oh his great fortune.
"Something is there! Oh the rushing smell, livid iron sliding down my throat." Howled the crazed ringed-raccoon. He sulked and tracked, like the sly predator he was, trailing the faint scent of blood. His aquamarine eyes followed the boisterous noise, landing to a puddle of mud near the gate of the hut.
Orbs dilated, the hunt was on. The barbaric yawp resounds, "And we pounce!"
Sasori the Puppet rested idly on the porch, his legs cascading over a single wooden step. It was perplexing to the puppet – after all why design merely one step to lead into the hut when there requires several to enter the home? Issues such as these often punctured the remarkably bored Marionette's mind who, after the fiasco with the rotting cow, found little that could amuse him.
Sudden, dark cackles interrupted his previous internal inquires. Sasori searched the compound, attempting to locate the sounds. There, near the forest by which crawled of evil, was his pet, pouncing furiously after an oddly green creature.
Sasori sighed, trotting effortlessly towards the ruckus the mad raccoon created. "Gaara?" he shouted, causing said pet to stagger then gracefully trip over a rock. He swore under his breath, before turning to his beloved master.
His master's face was as stern as ever, "What are you rambling about again?"
"Master! Master!" chanted Gaara of the desert, a monstrous gleam in his eyes lighting his furry face. Sasori could not help but notice a green blob struggling within the crevices of his pet's fangs. "Look at what we caught! Isn't it divine?" the ring-tailed raccoon exclaimed, sticking his tongue out to reveal a semi-unconscious amphibian lying in his mouth.
Sighing with exasperation, the puppet clenched his roots, feeling a headache coming on. Sometimes the stupidity of his pet truly astounded him, "Spit that thing out you brainless tanuki."
Gaara frowned at the audacity of this command, "But-"
"NOW!" an enraged wooden being roared, brutally clutching the raccoon's tail. Surely his master knew better? Couldn't he see the injustice of the great Shukaku, starving to death? A measly little morsel should not even concern him at all.
Nonetheless Gaara spat the creature out.
A green amphibious monster, no larger than the palm of the puppet's hand, landed gracefully upon a lily pad – as if it had not been nearly consumed by a rabid raccoon. The grimy creature peered up at the face of its liberator, taking in every chivalrous quality in its round beady eyes. With as much energy as a near-ingested being could muster, the amphibian broke into a blinding smile.
Sasori's brow twitched.
There, on the toad's temple, developed what appeared to be two identical black, thick caterpillars. They were growths attached to the ugly creature's face. Sasori almost pitied the monster, if he wasn't to busy attempting to ignore those freaky eyebrows.
And why did a toad have eyebrows? How could this have occurred? Were there anymore freaks of nature around? Sasori did find it odd that his own pet had no eyebrows whilst this monster had …
Oh. The fuzzy-browed thing was speaking.
"Ribbit. Ribbit. YOSH! My hearty thanks you. Ribbit. Ribbit." Croaked the toad, which chose at that moment to leap into Sasori's arms. The puppet swatted at the offending beast, only to be reluctantly surprised as the creature dodged, then proceeded to flip in the air, and land confidently on his shoulder with a rushing kick.
The amphibian bowed. Sasori could just feel those caterpillar's staring at him.
"A taijutsu toad master?" the Marionette quirked his brow, grabbing the unprepared creature and squeezing the slimy beast between his wooden fingers. The animal's round eyes gazed into his before a bright smile gleamed, blinding the puppet with the opaque light. Sasori dropped the monster of shining teeth, screaming loud obscenities, "Be gone obnoxious, fucking beast! Be gone!"
The creature was as dumb as it was ugly. It landed with poise on its previous lily pad, before catapulting its body on Gaara's previous perch. "I am a frog! Ribbit!"
The repulsive frog with enormous eyebrows then decided at that precise moment to rub its face against Sasori's cheek. The robe-clad puppet shivered with disgust, realizing that the combination of grotesque furry caterpillars and slimy grime would leave behind a trail of residue. He hated his life.
"Whatever."
"Is that your pet? Ribbit," inquired the obnoxious frog, indicating the absurd raccoon murmuring obscenities under his breath. It narrowed its beady eyes, "He's not a good guide. Oh, great one you can do so much better."
Whatever amount of self-control the tanuki held shattered at those words. "Hey! Shut your trap."
"What do you mean by that?" Sasori demanded, startled by his most defensive stance towards his pet. Maybe the little monster was growing on him.
"I saw what you did to your grandmother, Marionette. Ribbit. But … Ribbit … THROUGH THE POWER OF YOUTH LOVE SHALL CONQUER YOUR HATRED!"
"Master, master, honorable master, can I eat his flesh?" Gaara inquired innocently, stroking the underside of his belly.
Sasori glared, "No Gaara. Bad indigestion."
"RIBBIT! I ROCK LEE, SHALL SHOW YOU THE FOLLY OF YOUR WAYS!" shouted the frog, pointing admirably towards the sun. Its teeth shone brightly, while a sun set miraculously appeared behind its slimy body.
Disturbing.
"Wait. Folly?"
Those beady eyes directed a glance of absolute sympathy, as if understanding that everything the puppet had done was not truly of his doing. The ignorance would always remain in the weak-minded doll. "It is alright, toy Marionette. Ribbit. I understand that you need to be guided under the teachings of … Ribbit … Gai-sensei! With that you can be as COOL and HIP as he! Stabbing and sentencing your grandmother is positively UNYOUTHFUL!"
"It burns! Ah! It burns my eyes!" howled the scurrying tanuki, his behavior going largely unnoticed by the truly youthful frog. Sasori grimaced.
The flexible frog' pose was nothing but flamboyant, hands at hips, its fist clenched in the air. The eyes and teeth were again shining from an unknown source. And of course, the sun had extraordinarily appeared, setting peacefully over the ocean's horizon.
It wasn't that the sight was truly displeasing. Just unsettling. Gaara's screech did not help the situation at all. "Hush or I'll skin you!" Sasori venomously spat, weary of his pet's antics. Honestly what was wrong with him today?
"Perhaps if this … Ribbit … disgusting ring-tailed rodent was not such a NEGATIVE influence –"
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? OH IT'S ON!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP GAARA!" The puppet master snapped, reaching to his shoulder to choke the slick bastard. "Now warty toad, what is it do you want?"
Between the puppet's wooden fingers, the frog Rock Lee retorted, "ONLY to advocate the blossoming of the future of Konoha … Ribbit. Now that your grandmother has left you without your YOUTHFULNESS you must go and SPREAD THE GIFT OF YOUR BEARINGS to others through the educational facilities. Ribbit."
A tear of youthfulness trickled down the amphibian's shinning face.
"What?"
"Master Puppet, he wants you to go to school." Gaara elaborated, excitement soaring at the image of the wiggling, slippery bastard at his master's mercy. 'We know Sasori would butcher the frog,' the pet insisted.
Instead, this callous explanation had the opposite desired effect the tanuki sought.
Intrigued by this odd request, Sasori's fingers loosened around the frog's throat, "How would that help me? I hate studying, I hate stuffy rooms, I hate not playing, not wandering, not sleeping, not relaxing. Most of all I hate people."
"But wooden doll, your STRENGTH and BODY will BENEFIT from the rigorous training at school ... Ribbit … Here in this home you'll waste away. With the constant VIGILANCE of school even your empty, hollow head can return home relieved." Said the shrewd frog in a calm voice.
The puppet's murky eyes bore harshly at the rash amphibian who dared to mock his greatness, "Be careful little frog. Be careful not to get me angry. You'll be sorry if you do," he warned.
"OH TO BE CONTENT WITH WHAT YOU ARE! A life-less, motionless toy! Why you are nothing … Ribbit … nothing without a brain in that wooden skull – RIBBIT!"
With those last words, Sasori in fury plucked the anchor from his abdomen (another improvement on his near-perfect body) and threw it with all his strength at Rock Lee the frog. Although Rock Lee was a renowned taijutsu master, even he could not dodge the speeding weapon. The spear anchored by an elongated rope spread the green beast of Kohona in half, dead.
The mess splattered across the puppet's face, sticking dourly on the wooden surface. The redness seeped in Sasori's spear, where the once vibrant frog's body now tore in half. A sharp cackling began from behind the toy doll, who stood still with shock.
Perhaps Sasori did not expect the anchor-like spear to pierce the frog.
"Hehehe. Master that was so deliciously enticing. Mother loves it when you pain the ground. Do it again for us!" chortled the mad tanuki, "Master?"
Sasori shook the red from his hands indignantly, "Great. I stained the coat. Better go wash it off."
Later that day the puppet pondered the overly zealous frog's words.
"Gaara. That creature was annoying, but I do believe I am going to either wither away or go insane with only you as my companion."
Gaara hated the village. He would rather eat his own paws before submitting to the scum within Konoha. However, the raccoon knew this was not his decision to make. His master would have to learn on his own, after submerging himself with society.
"Go into town then Master. Search out this Iruka-sensei if you wish. He is the teacher at the Academy," the tanuki suggested, tail swaying softly against his master's wooden back. Sasori petted the small creature, who in contentment, purred faintly.
"But remember Master, they do not take kindly of our people," the little raccoon cryptically warned, "After all, are we really of Konoha?"
To end at an equally disturbing note, the accursed puppet skipped merrily into town (eagerly anticipating the prospect of doing something other than vegetating solemnly) and decided to slaughter some hogs nibbling on a piece of his recently cleansed robe. Needless to say, Sasori soaked his favorite cloak in the daughter of the miller's laundry basin. He could really careless if he stained some of that whore's garments.
The wooden boy now sat in front of an instructor of the Academy, cloaked in the skin of his most prized puppet Hiruko. Sasori had learned since his last interaction with the mortal villagers that the identification of his face may pose some … undesirable questions. Also if he was protected behind a mask – encased in a shield that was his puppet – then perhaps those spiteful hairless rats could not hurt him. However in order for his façade to succeed then he would have to rely on the art of intimidation.
What was more intimidating then the deformed, thug-like body of his favored toy?
It didn't really repulse him that he, a puppet, was also wearing a puppet.
"So you want to attend school? I am sorry Mister … Sasori was it? But you must have a legal guardian sign this form." Iruka absentmindedly wondered how any child could be as deformed as the one before him.
"Iruka-sensei, due to an unfortunate event my only living guardian has been put under surveillance with Informer Ibiki. I do not believe she is able to sign any forms at the moment," the grotesque child admitted, still as stone in that most uncomfortable of all benches.
"You an orphan?" the teacher hesitantly asked. Iruka had always held a soft-heart towards the basket cases. His own parents had been eaten during the crisis of the awakening of Kyuubi, the nine-tailed demon lord of fire. Since then, the sensei has had an aversion with foxes and, of course, sympathetic favoritism towards orphans.
"In a sense. My parents were murdered," the repulsive boy confessed, his emotionless eyes wavering curiously at the teacher.
And it seemed that the new student, though deformed and grotesque, mirrored his own life. Iruka-sensei sighed, 'This was going to be a troublesome year'.