Padfoot's Puppy

Chapter Fifteen

'My Mother's Suicide'

Amber spent the next few days in her room with Buckbeak; refusing to come out no matter how many times Sirius and Remus asked her to. Harry's arrival had put her in a bad mood and she wasn't ready to come out of it yet. If anyone came near her she growled at them, not caring who it was.

Amber resented Harry for two reasons: the first was that with his arrival everyone, including Sirius and Remus, seemed to forget all about her. The other was that ever since he'd showed up, she'd begun to have terrible nightmares.

They were always the same; they started out with her as a little girl, walking along a stormy beach with her mother. Neither of them spoke, but they'd walk hand in hand, the darkness closing around them. Finally, once the beach turned to rocky to continue walking, her mother would turn to her but her face was always hidden by a veil. Her mother would reach down and gently brush her hand against Amber's cheek, and as she did, a terrible screaming would fill Amber's head. Then, with the screaming continuing, images flashed in her mind. Her mother's tear-streaked face, her standing alone in the rain, hiding in a closet as someone pounded on the door, and finally her mother's body, gently swinging back and forth on the rope. Usually Amber awoke at this point, but tonight, she didn't.

The images and the screaming stopped and Amber was once again standing on the beach with her mother. Very slowly Amber raised her arms and touched her mother's veil, feeling it between her fingers. Then, Amber pulled gently on the veil and it came off, revealing her mother's face.

Instead of the beautiful face Amber remembered she was staring up at a face so hideously scarred and cut up she couldn't recognize it. Blood was dripping from fresh cuts and her eyes were bright red instead of icy blue. Amber screamed and fell backwards. As she fell it seemed as though hundreds of hands were trying to grab her, trying to suffocate her.

"Amber, Amber wake-up!" Amber's eyes flew open and it took her a moment to realize that she was no longer on the beach with her mother. Instead she was in her bedroom at Grimmauld Place with Remus. The hands that had been grabbing her had been his, shaking her awake.

"Amber, are you okay?" Remus was asking but Amber barely heard him. She could still see her mother's face, blood dripping…

"It's okay, shh, it's okay, you're safe." Remus said, hugging her. Only then did Amber realize that she was crying and shaking uncontrollably.

"It was just a dream, you're okay." Remus whispered. Amber tried to speak but it was as if she were frozen. All she could think of was her mother's face.

"Shh, its okay, you're okay." Remus said, stroking her hair gently. Slowly Amber began to feel as though she could move again. The image was beginning to fade from her mind but try as she might, Amber could not stop crying or shaking.

"It was just a dream, it was just a dream." Remus repeated. Even though Amber knew the words were true she didn't believe it. It'd had seemed real, from the smell of the ocean to the roar of the wind.

For what seemed like hours that's how they stayed, Remus trying to comfort Amber and Amber shaking and crying. Finally Amber calmed down a bit. Tears still ran down her cheeks but finally she was able to think of something other than her mother's face. Not that her new thoughts were any more comforting.

"T-they didn't take her down rig-right away." Amber whispered. Remus stared down at her, his eyes showing his confusion. To Amber's gratitude, he didn't say anything.

"They didn't notice w-when I left but I just h-had to see for myself. I thought they were lying." Amber said, more to herself than to Remus.

"T-the door was open so I looked in. And then I saw h-her." Amber said, causing fresh tears to tumble down her cheeks.

"You dreamed about your mother?" Remus guessed. Amber nodded. Then, very slowly, she told him her dream. She felt like a pressure had been lifted once she was finished.

"It was just a dream though." Remus said. Amber didn't say anything. It hadn't seemed like just a dream.

"How'd you know I was having a nightmare?" Amber asked a little while later. She was underneath the blankets now, curled up in a little ball. She was supposed to be going to sleep but she felt wide awake. Remus, sensing that she didn't want to be alone, had stayed in her room and was sitting on the floor, stroking Buckbeak.

"I heard you scream." He said. Amber was horrified. If Remus had heard her scream, than that meant that everyone else had heard her scream as well.

"So I woke everyone up?" Amber asked slowly, her voice revealing her embarrassment. Remus smiled.

"You woke Ginny up but that's all. I told her it was just another portrait, much like Sirius' mum, and she went back to bed." He said. Amber sighed in relief.

"Thank God." She muttered. Remus' smile widened but he remained silent.

In the silence, Amber's thoughts returned to her mother. There had been a funeral but she hadn't been allowed to go. The Malfoy's had wanted to keep her a secret. She didn't even know where her mother was buried, and she had learned quickly not to ask. One day, she had promised herself, she would find her mother's grave.

"Why did your mother take you to the Malfoy's?" Remus asked suddenly. Amber thought for a second about not answering but then decided against it.

"She was friends with Narcissa at school." Amber replied. Even in the dark she could see the sadness in Remus' eyes. Amber wanted to ask why he was sad but knew that it was rude to do so.

"Did you like living with them?" Remus asked. His question made Amber want to laugh.

"No way!" She said. She thought she saw Remus smile but she wasn't sure.

"Go to sleep now, it's only a few hours till sunrise." Remus said a few minutes later. Amber didn't say anything, she knew it was going to be a long time before she fell asleep.

Author's Note: Well I'm back again! I was going to write this ages ago, but a spider kinda discouraged me from writing. And I wish I could say I'll be updating everyday again but I can't, I'm going away tomorrow and won't be back till the end of august. I'm sorry! And sorry it's short, and even if you guys may not think so, this chapter is actually very important…just so you randomly know that.