A/N: I'm finally getting the hang of this! I've gotten one review, but this is my first fic so I'm not F-REAK-ing out. Enjoy Chapter three!
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So I died with you loving me. Even if only for that one second you loved me. Even if seconds later it all faded when Deep Blue was killed, for that minute you loved me. You may have felt something for me, right there, you refused to think of it as true, what you felt was lies; like everything that came out of my smirking mouth.
Deep Blue is dead. Pai is dead. I can feel his soul ache for the green Mew. Just like mine is devastated by leaving Ichigo. But right here is the most glorious feeling. Maybe everyone else feels it every day, but the wrath of my planet and the swirl of feelings I always had to cope with somehow blocked out this peace. I had thought of it as laziness, of being foolish, but now I couldn't fathom how I could have been stupid enough to block this out. Swirls of peace and quiet whispers of comfort formed a current in the river to death. The gate was so far away, but I could have stayed here forever. I wonder what I looked like. A translucent stretch of nothing maybe, or maybe I was my body, a dead corpse pulled along by currants of love. Ichigo's face was imprinted on my mind, crying over my death, but other faces, words assailed me while I put my feelings to rest.
"Kisshu, eat your supper now . . ." my mother gently chided as I glowered at a plate of muck.
"No! I hate this food and I hate you and I hate this planet!" I had shouted at her. Hurt had flitted across her features but she had hidden it well.
"Sweethear—no" she gasped as her fingers began to spasm. Her eyelids fluttered open, closed. She slumped forward and shook violently. I had screamed.
"Mother?" I had asked softly as she stopped shaking. "Mother?"
But she hadn't moved.
Taruto and I, foster brothers, making up stories of the flower of Earth, each more elaborate than the first. It had springs of pure water and crops of a sugar so sweet your mouth stung. Poisons for the sick and dying, to put them out of the endless pain we had to witness when someone fell ill. We asked Pai to join us in embroidering, he had just looked at us coldly from his bed.
"We will never see Earth." Was all he had said. Taruto and I had made faces at him when he turned around.
And then Ichigo, cradling my head and singing a sweet but mournful lullaby. I told her in hushed tones thats how I felt when I saw her, like it was a magic denied to me, a feast kept from a starving man. She kissed me quiet.
I'm at the gilded gate now. I wonder what lies past the golden bars of a perfect cage.