Disclamer: I don't own anything Harry Potter.
The door creaked open, and I stepped inside. The room smelled like alcohol. Sirius was sitting in the window sill, a bottle in hand. As if he had been slapped out of a dream world, he turned suddenly at me.
"You." He said, his eyes were filled with fury and confusion. "Why did you have to go there? This is your fault!" He turned away, to hide the silent tears falling down his face.
I didn't dare go any closer to him, for fear of what he might do. So I stood my ground, and told him exactly what had happened the previous night.
It was as if a light had gone off in his head. He turned suddenly to me, frowning slightly, as if he were trying to answer a difficult question. "Snivellous." He whispered, shaking his head as if he didn't believe it.
"Severus Snape, what's he got to do with this? Didn't he leave for break?" I asked, thoroughly confused. I took a step towards him, confidant that he didn't blame me now for last night's events. "Sirius, I don't understand."
"It was him!" Sirius shouted suddenly," I just know it!"
"Sirius wh-" but I was cut off
"It was Snape who cursed you last night! Damn him! I should have known!" At this, Sirius calmed down enough to stop shouting, though the hate still shone bright in his eyes. "Yesterday afternoon, when we were hexing Snape, he said James was going to pay dearly this time. Of course no one believed him, no one thought that-" Sirius now struggled to keep his emotions under control. "Lily, everyone in school know's James has a thing for you, and Snape thought this would be the perfect revenge. He endangered the one thing James cared most about. That dirty git got all of us back. I mean you and Remus-," his eyes now filled with tears," You didn't do anything."
I didn't know how to react to this news. It sounded convincing enough, yet there was one thing missing. "Sirius, how did Snape know that Remus was a werewolf? How did he know how to get past the whomping willow?"
Sirius looked as if he had been punched in the gut. His face drained of all color, and his eyes were overflowing with guilt. "M-me. This isn't Snape's fault, it-it's mine. If I had just kept my mouth shut, if I had only-" At that point, his emotions overtook him. He leaned against the wall, and slid to the floor covering his face in his hands.
I quietly went over to him, crouched in front of him. I gently took his hands in mine, and removed them from his face. I looked strait into his eyes. They were empty. He seemed empty. He merely stared at something over my shoulder, silent tears streaming down his face. "Sirius?" I asked, hoping he would tell me something, anything. He continued to stare into space; it was as if he couldn't hear me anymore.
After awhile, I retreated to the bed nearest him. I curled up my knees to me chin, and I waited in the silence. Sirius seemed to be beyond himself with grief. It was like he was zoned out of everything except his thoughts. We sat together in the silence. After what seemed like hours, Sirius suddenly spoke.
"About two years ago, in our fifth year." Sirius said, and then he was silent, as if that explained it all. Then he spoke again," In our fifth year, I told Snape how to get into the willow one night. I-I don't know why I did it; I don't even remember doing it. I was drunk I think. If it hadn't been for James, he would probably be dead, and Remus would be in Azkaban. Of course, Snape wouldn't accept the fact that James wasn't in on it, and he's had it out for all of us ever since." He sighed and wiped his eyes before he continued. "I almost lost everything that night. It took James and Remus weeks to forgive me. Now, two years later, it still comes back to haunt me. Now I've endangered them all over again, not to mention you." He looked over at me, "I'm so sorry."
He turned away from me again, covering his face in his hands once more. We both sat there, in stunned silence. Sirius's body was shaking from his sobs. Peter was gone, James and Remus were both unconscious in the hospital wing, and it was all his fault. No matter how much I felt sorry for him, there was no changing that fact. I did the only thing I could do. I went over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He looked at me, not even trying to hide his sobs in anymore.
"I'm so sorry." He said, and his eyes showed it.
"Sirius, I forgive you. Shhh-" He rested his head on my shoulder, once more letting his tears overtake him.
We stayed like that for some time. It seemed to help Sirius a little. Slowly his tears slowed to a stop. He never looked up at me, but I could tell he was calming down. Suddenly, someone cleared their throat near the doorway. It was Dumbledore.
"Ms. Evans, I see you've found Mr. Black," he said, understanding in his eyes," If you two should wish, Madam Pomfrey will allow you to go and see them now, she has done all she can do."
"P-professor, what do you mean 'all that she can do'?" asked Sirius, now staring at the Headmaster.
"Well, she has treated them to the best of her ability, and has also been in contact with healers at St. Mungo's, where they have determined that they could do nothing further there to treat the boys there. Therefore, Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin will be residing in our hospital wing until such time as they awake, and fully recover." With that, he was gone."
"Do you think you can go down yet?" I asked Sirius uncertainly.
He waited a long time before he spoke," Let's go."
As we walked down the corridors, Sirius remained quiet. I didn't know how to talk to him, or if I even should. Don't get me wrong, I was terrified of what would happen with Remus and James, but I couldn't begin to understand what he was feeling. The relationship between the marauders was one no one could explain. They were like brothers, but more than that. Those four had a bond that most people could only dream of. They were each other's family. In Sirius's case, the only family he had. I could never understand that. So I didn't try. I think that he was more comfortable in the silence, where he could process everything, and deal with it in his own way.
When we arrived at the hospital wing, I noticed that Sirius had suddenly gone from my side. I turned around, where I saw him stop to a dead halt five feet behind me. His eyes were filled with terror. He was staring at the door. I saw the fear in his eyes and I knew what was happening.
"Sirius, I know you're scared, but I'm going to be with you the whole time. I promise." I said, feeling sorrier for him, if that was even possible.
"I just remembered seeing them." he said, sinking into a chair. "When I first woke up."
"Tell me." I pleaded; he needed to vent his emotion.
He was staring at the floor in disbelief, replaying the scene in his head. It was a long while before he said anything. " Remus. He was in a bed, he was thrashing around. I don't know what was wrong with him, but Madam Pomfrey was holding his shoulders trying to steady him. James was in another bed, he wasn't moving at all, I don't even think his chest was moving. Y-you, you were in he bed next to me, unconscious. I was so angry at you," he looked up at me," I'm sorry Lils. I didn't know." He told me for the tenth time.
"Sirius," I walked over and sat down in the chair next to him. "I forgive you, you didn't know. And trust me," I said, pulling him into a hug," I promise that when I left, they both looked more peaceful." At this, Sirius calmed down some what.
"James was breathing?" he asked, a glint of a smile on his lips.
"Yes, of course." I said exasperated.
At these words, Sirius seemed to gain strength. He got up from his seat, and extended his hand out to me. I gladly took it, and he helped me up. We walked to the door side by side. We stopped right in front of it, and Sirius sighed.
"I'm glad you're with me Lily. Thanks. I can see why James has a thing for you." I smiled at him, and we pushed open the door.
Before I had a chance to take in anything, Sirius pushed past me. He walked right over to the nearest bed. I followed closely behind. It was Remus; he was lying as still as I first saw him earlier that day. Now that I actually saw his face, he looked bad. His face was bloody and bruised. I got a chair and pulled it up beside the bed. Sirius remained standing. His eyes were fixed on his unconscious friend; I doubted he even remembered that I was there. I took Remus's hand in mine. It was cold. Sirius wiped the hair away from Remus's face.
"God Moony, I'm so sorry." He grabbed Remus's other hand and held it in his. He must have felt how cold it was too because he began rubbing it between his own hands, creating warmth. "It's going to be alright, you'll see. I'll get him back for this. I promise."
I assumed that Sirius was talking about revenge against Snape. I didn't really think that that was the best idea at the moment, but I kept that to myself for the time being. Sirius didn't need to have any sort of conversation right then. He needed the silence; it was the only thing keeping him calm.
The silence was short lived, because in a few moments, Madam Pomfrey came scurrying out of a curtain surrounding another bed. I guessed it was James's. "Oh my dears, you're here. Well, I'm glad. You can go and see Mr. Potter now if you'd like." She smiled and walked briskly into her office.
Sirius looked longingly at the curtain surrounding James's bed, and then back at Remus. "L-lily," he stammered, "You go in first, please."
"Of course." I said. I hated seeing him so insecure. He was torn between the bedsides of both of his friends.
As I slid behind the curtain, I left Sirius leaning over Remus, whispering softly to him. I walked slowly over to the bed. There were potion bottles all over the bedside table, next to a pair of round, black glasses. I picked up a bottle, it was a blood replenishing potion. I looked at James (He actually looked good without his glasses on). He was extremely pale, I guessed it was from the lack of blood. He had no shirt, his waist was bandaged in gauze. There was blood seeping through the cloth.
"Oh James," I whispered to him. He looked so bad. I may have had an awkward relationship with him at the time, but I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. I gently stroked his cold hand, whispering words of comfort to him, unsure of whether he could hear me or not.
In a few moments, I heard a sniff from the other side of the curtain, and in came Sirius. His eyes were swollen and red. When he saw James, he didn't looked surprised or scared. He simply walked over to him, pulled up a chair to his bedside, and sat down. He leaned back, crossed his arms, and stared at him. There was everything in his eyes, pain, sorrow, guilt. He was emotionally exhausted. I gave his shoulder a squeeze to let him know I was there, and left him to be alone with James.
Sadly, I walked back to Remus, and sat down next to him. I hated to see everyone like that. I hated to see James and Remus lying there, helpless. I hated seeing Sirius so broken, like he'd given up hope. The only thing I could do for him now was give him some time alone. So I stayed with Remus, holding his hand, listening to the sobs from Sirius on the other side of the curtain.
I sat there for at least an hour in silence.
Then Madam Pomfrey came out of her office.
"Oh, your still
here," she said, "I was just going to change some of their
bandages before I turn in for the night."
"What time is it?" I asked, looking outside, it was dark. I hadn't realized we'd been there for that long.
"It's 1:30 dear. I was going to tell you, but you seemed busy." She said, looking at me with sadness in her eyes. "If you wish, you and Mr. Black may stay here for the night." And with that, she went behind the curtain to James. I waited for Sirius, assuming he'd want to leave while she changed James's cuts, but he never came.
As I waited for him, I lay down on the bed nearest to Remus. I turned on my back and looked up at the ceiling. Eventually my eyes started to droop, and even thought I tried to fight it, I felt myself drift to sleep.