September 14th 1892: Erik
The next few days could easily be called some of the happiest in my life. With Philippe even the most boring tasks grew much more enjoyable. I never grew tired of finding interesting things to teach him, and he never grew tired of learning. His thirst for knowledge amazed me. True, I had been just the same as a child, but for me circumstances had been completely different. I hadn't even dared hope a normal boy could possess the same qualities. If there was one person worthy of becoming my heir, it was he.
We spent almost every minute together, writing notes to the managers, checking the work of the stagehands and setting two dozen mice free in the chorus girls' dressing room. I loved the sound of his laughter, and, nearly without realising it, I started laughing more often myself. Yet it wasn't my usual almost manic laughter, but a cheerful, normal-sounding one. Philippe was a very good example in this respect.
With days like those it wasn't easy to be alone at night. I was strangely restless, sitting down with a book and standing up again, pouring myself a glass of wine and putting it back on the table after one or two sips, and wandering through the rooms. Only when I settled down at the boy's bed I grew calm, watching him for hours, sometimes the whole night long. Even composing wasn't as important as guarding his sleep. The knowledge that I was there was good for him as well; the number of his nightmares had diminished.
Yet when I was completely honest, I knew that I needed the nights and also the days with him far more than he did. Philippe was not only a good pupil, but a wonderful friend… and the closest thing to a son I'd ever have. It was especially the latter fact that made me shed a few silent tears every now and then when I sat at his bed. As young as I felt while inventing new games for him to play, at night I was painfully aware of my age. I would never have own children. I would never know the fulfilment of love. It was in those minutes that I'd have maybe considered ending my life… if it hadn't been for my boy.
Unfortunately our time together would be over soon. Today his parents would come back and take him away from me. Of course I had thought about not letting him go, perhaps even hiding him. But what would have been the point in such actions? Philippe loved his Maman and his Papa, and he needed them. I had to stop being so arrogant as to believe I could replace them. No one could.
Unlike me, the boy was even more cheerful than usual. "Did you really send them the message?" he asked as we sat down for a cup of tea in the afternoon. I gave him a gentle smile. He had already repeated this question a dozen times. "Yes, I did," I replied. "I gave it to a delivery boy in the morning, and he brought it to your home." "But do you think Maman and Papa have read it by now?" he went on. "I don't know," I said. "When we visited your sister yesterday, Jacqueline told me they'd be back by noon. So I guess they've read it."
I used the time he needed to come up with yet another question to fill his cup with milk. Philippe didn't like tea too much. What he did like was the strawberry cake I had bought as a special treat. I put a big piece of it on his plate and placed it next to the cup. Then I poured myself a little tea. All the time I watched the boy. I knew there was more to come, but I didn't know when.
Looking from me to his plate and back he seemed to try and decide what to do first. He had been brought up much too well to speak with his mouth full, no matter how tempting the cake was. Finally he chose talking over eating. "And will they attend the performance?" he asked. I shrugged. "I hope they will," I answered. "It would be a pity if they didn't see all the things we've prepared." He nodded and devoted his attention to the cake. Apparently my reply was enough for him.
I took a sip of tea while my mind wandered to the evening. It would be the first night of the new opera. Actually two more weeks of rehearsing had been planned after the dress rehearsal, but when I had made it clear that I wanted it to happen tonight, the managers had complied. Since the incident with Signora Marchesi they were very eager to fulfil my wishes. It had meant practicing from morning to evening, yet they had eventually managed to get ready in time.
It would be a very special performance, much more interesting than a normal first night. Philippe and I had a few surprises in store. Yet the most important thing was that I'd finally present the boy as my heir in front of all people. After this evening, no one would dare treat him disrespectfully. That much was certain. And of course his parents had to be there at such an occasion. Grinning inwardly I drank some more tea. I was already looking forward to seeing the Vicomte's face.
ChristineSinking down on the sofa in the living room I couldn't help thinking that it was always good to come home, no matter how nice the holiday had been. Raoul was still busy helping Gabriel unload the coach, so I had a few moments to myself. It was a pleasant feeling to be alone for a change. In Nice my husband and I had been together all the time, which had been quite exhausting.
Yet it had also been wonderful. Leaning against the cushions I recalled the long walks we had taken at the beach and the hours we had spent talking about everything and nothing. It had been a bit like in the first time after our wedding. Moreover, it had reminded me of why I had married Raoul. He had been more cheerful and carefree than I had seen him in years. If less works meant he'd be like this more often, we'd be facing happy times.
"Madame?" a voice called. I looked up and saw Jacqueline standing at the door. "I'm sorry for disturbing you, but a boy brought a message in the morning, and he told me to give it to your husband or you as soon as you've come back. And since he's not here…" "It's all right," I said with s smile. It would take more than a simple message to disturb me in such a moment. "Who is it from?" I asked. "That's a strange thing. It's from your son," she replied. She obviously noticed the incredulous expression on my face, for she handed me the letter and added: "Look for yourself!". And indeed it said "from Philippe" on the envelope. At once I tore it open.
Dear Maman, dear Papa,
tonight will be the first night of the opera's latest production. Uncle Erik and I would like you to come. You can also bring Jacqueline along… and Antoinette, if you have to. One of the private boxes will be reserved for you. I'm looking forward to seeing you again.
Yours, Philippe"What does he write?" Jacqueline asked curiously. "He has invited us to the opera tonight – all of us," I replied without thinking. "Can you come or do you have other plans?" "I'd be delighted," she told me, smiling brightly. "You know, my sister Clarille will dance, and she wanted me to come, but of course it would have been much too expensive for me. Thank you so much!"
In this moment Raoul entered the room. In his hand he held my handbag. "You left this in the coach," he said, settling down next to me. ""Oh, and Gabriel asks when we'll need him again. Do you know at which time we'll fetch Philippe from the opera?" "Actually that's something we still have to talk about," I replied. If I had learned one thing from the events of the past weeks, it was to discuss certain topics the moment they came up. "Jacqueline, could you go to Gabriel and tell him we won't need him till the evening?" I asked. The maid nodded and left the room.
"What is it that we'll do in the evening?" Raoul wanted to know instantly. "We're not home for as long as half an hour, and already you've planned something… You're amazing." He kissed my cheek lovingly. "In fact, it's our son's doing," I corrected him, holding the letter in front of his eyes for him to read. Secretly I wondered whether my acceptance hadn't been too quick. But then, there was nothing bad about a visit to the opera, was there?
After a few moments Raoul muttered: "And you've already decided we'll go there without even asking me?". "I assumed you'd approve, so I-" I started an explanation, yet stopped when I noticed he was smiling. "Well, why not?" he said. "We haven't been to the opera for years. But will you be able to deal with being there again? You know, after all that happened…"
I hadn't considered that matter myself yet. Surely spending hours at the opera would be much harder than being there for a few minutes. Besides, what if I met Erik? Suddenly it didn't seem to be such a good idea after all. But then I thought of Philippe. I could almost see his face screwed up in concentration while he had been writing the note. It was apparent that he had written it himself, although he had certainly had help. Some of the phrases simply weren't that of a child. Still I couldn't deny him a wish.
"Our child wants us to come, so we will do it," I said firmly. Taking Raoul's hand I added: "With you at my side I can deal with anything.". Though he was smiling proudly, there was still a little concern in his eyes as he asked: "And what if it's a trap?". I shook my head. "Erik wouldn't do such a thing with Philippe involved," I muttered. "Besides, why should be have let him invite Antoinette and Jacqueline as well then? No, we'll just have a nice evening and take our boy home with us afterwards. I'm sure the only exciting things will happen on stage."