Severus sat in his seat in the dining room, waiting for his son to come to their evening meal. This afternoon had gone better than expected. He was able to get to know his son a bit more, make a few basic decisions about their futures and learn some more about the tattoos without prying too terribly much or looking as if he were trying to get information. They still had a lot more to finalize about the next school year but he felt better having done as much as they had. Things were moving quickly but they had little choice in the matter, given Dumbledore's manipulations.
He looked up as Harry entered the room and scowled upon seeing how his son was dressed. "You'll need some new clothes Harry."
Harry gave an uncharacteristic grin. "Yeah. I finally grew!" He threw himself in a chair near Severus and started piling food on his plate. The Potions Master hid a grimace at his son's complete lack of manners. They would work on that later. "Do you know how tall you are now?"
"I just measured myself earlier. I'm 5'4" now. I had been scared I would stop at 5'2". I was the shortest one in my year."
Snape hesitated to speak again but his curiosity had been eating at him all day. "I am 6'4" and your mother was 5'10". Do you know why you are so…" he faded away, searching for a proper word for his son's tinyness.
Harry looked up from his plate for a moment, then slowly set his fork down by his plate. "Vernon liked his boys young and he liked them small. He ensured that I would stay that way."
Severus stared at his son. His uncle was the reason that he was so short? What on earth did he do? Muggles didn't have magic to alter someone's body…how had he done it? Harry must have noticed his father's confusion so he expanded, although he gripped his fork so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "He would rarely give me food and only then it was just enough to sustain life. I would often go days without a meal. The damage from such extreme malnourishment at such a young age and for such an extended period of time was impossible to counteract by the time I made it to Hogwarts." With that Harry picked up his fork again and shoveled a large bite of asparagus into his mouth, fighting his own demons once more.
His son sustained seriously stunted growth because of a muggle's sexual perversions? He kept his face blank, knowing that Harry would bolt if he showed pity. He struggled for a moment to keep his emotions tightly reigned in. Finally, when he felt slightly more in control again, Severus cleared his throat. "Did Poppy give you any vitamin enhancers or growth potions?"
Harry paused to swallow his enormous bite. "Yes. I've been on a vitamin enhancer since I entered Hogwarts and I've tried all of the growth potions. The 5'2" was a result of the only one that was able to do anything at all."
It was becoming increasingly clear that this conversation was completely distasteful to his son. Snape decided to steer the discussion in a hopefully more neutral direction.
"I will have my tailor come to the manor to measure you for some new clothes as soon as possible."
The twinkle returned to Harry's eyes and Snape breathed a quick sigh of relief. "Does your tailor know how to make anything in any color but black?"
Snape gave a half-hearted glare to his son. "I'll have you know I own a few items that aren't black. I just don't wear them at Hogwarts."
"Do you just really like black or is there a purpose to it?"
"I am more comfortable in less flashy clothing but the real purpose was to save me time when I had to go to Death Eater meetings. I had to waste precious minutes getting outside the wards of the school to apparate to the Dark Lord's side; I could not waste any additional time changing my robes. The Dark Lord was most displeased with tardiness."
"Yes, I can see where he doesn't seem to be a very patient fellow."
Snape choked on his wine. The Dark Lord not patient? "Only you would complain of such a quality in him. Anyone else would be commenting on his murderous rages, his love of torture or his general insanity."
"Well those are all irritating too."
Snape rolled his eyes. Dear Merlin, the boy was daft. Irritating indeed. They finished their meal quietly, making only occasional small talk about the manor and prior Snapes. "If you would like to retire to the study we could have an after dinner drink" Snape offered. He tried to keep the hopeful lilt out of his voice but wasn't certain that he was entirely successful.
Harry flashed a quick, nervous smile. "That sounds good. I have a few questions for you."
"Of course. Follow me." The Snape men withdrew from the dining room and walked down the hall to the study. Harry entered the room behind his father and took a moment to orient himself to the new location. Snape noticed that Harry's eyes immediately sought out escapes and safe havens within the room and he bit back a growl. He would kill those muggles for what they had done to his son. Harry shouldn't have to be afraid to enter a room with his own father in his own house.
Severus pretended to ignore his son's actions and instead walked over to the small bar behind the desk. "Absinthe?"
Harry nodded as he made his way to one of the armchairs that flanked the fireplace. Severus quickly poured the drinks and made his way over to the other armchair. He set Harry's drink on the small table that separated the chairs. He had already noticed that his son tried to avoid anything that was remotely close to touch and he tried to keep a few feet or a barrier of some sort between them. While he felt that his son needed to work on his fear of touch he was not about to push him tonight, after the day that they had already had.
Harry finally broke the silence. "I don't understand…" he drifted off. Snape decided to leave Harry to his own devices. He knew his son would speak in his own time. "I don't understand how you're my father." Snape raised a single eyebrow at this statement, causing Harry to blush lightly. "I mean, I understand that but I don't understand what was going on with you two. Were you dating? Why did you stop dating? Why didn't she tell you she was pregnant?"
Severus sighed and shifted in his seat. "Your mother and I started dating at the end of her fourth year—my fifth year."
"My mother was younger than you?" Harry interrupted.
"Yes. We dated quietly—although it was no secret that we dated not many people knew of it. We didn't actively prevent anyone from learning but we certainly didn't flaunt the truth in any way. We avoided all public appearances together and we rarely spoke of the other to anyone else.
"After I graduated I only saw her on rare occasions that I could come by the school or she could sneak out. We made every effort to be together though…we were so young and foolishly in love. The last time we were together was on the night of my initiation. After we…met," Severus hastily edited his story "we were sitting in the hotel room, talking about the future. I told her that my father was forcing me to take the mark. Although I did not want to take the mark I did believe in The Dark Lord's mantra, just not his methods. At the time, I did not understand the importance of bringing fresh blood and ideas into the wizarding world. I believed that The Dark Lord had it right.
"Lily grew angry and left the room as quickly as she could. Being a foolish young man I did not understand how my words could have hurt her so much. I too dressed and went on my way. I was initiated that night amidst much celebration. My father was delighted that I was able to take the mark at such a young age and The Dark Lord was thrilled to have a potions master at his beck and call.
"I never heard from Lily again. I can only assume that she found out shortly thereafter that she was pregnant with you. I had no idea. I knew that her pregnancy must have followed hard on our breakup but at the time I was so enthralled by the Dark Lord's work and so bitter over what I perceived to be her betrayal of me through her hasty marriage to Potter that I never examined the facts. The possibility had floated through my mind at some point before your first year but when you entered the Great Hall my vague hope shattered. I was convinced that you were Potter's son."
Harry nodded his head absently as he took the story in. Apart from a brief feeling of nausea as he thought about his parents and sex he had found the story fascinating. "Did you love her? No, I'm sorry. You don't need to answer that."
"It is a perfectly acceptable question, Harry. Yes, I loved your mother dearly."
"If you loved her, how could you still think that her kind had no place in the wizarding world?"
Snape sighed audibly. "There can be no excuse for my behavior. I can only blame it on the folly of youth. I somehow believed that non-purebloods did not belong in our world yet I believed that Lily was the one who was different. She was the only one who was deserving of her place here. I completely separated her from the nameless, faceless mass of muggleborn wizards that I wanted to remove from our world."
Harry sat in silence for a moment, contemplating his father's words. "I don't think that is so abnormal. Wizards of all ages are doing that today with the war." Snape looked up in surprise. "They all moan about how terrible the situation is with Voldemort but they do nothing to stop it. They talk about the poor muggles and muggleborns that are killed but the deaths are not real to them because they do not attempt to put a name and face with the bodies. They separate the potential fate of their muggleborn friends from the fate of the faceless muggleborn bodies in the paper, allowing them to live their lives quietly without fighting back. They never make the connection that if they do not fight back then their friend may be next. They only start actively fighting once their friend actually becomes the next victim."
Snape sipped his absinthe. "You are very perceptive. I suppose that we all do that, at one point or another. It takes a personal tragedy to wake us up. To me, that was losing Lily…or at least losing her to Potter. A few months after the incident I told you about I realized that she was not coming back to me, that I had truly lost her. I reevaluated all of my prior beliefs and came to the conclusion that I was wrong. I went to Dumbledore and begged his protection."
Harry snorted. "The best protection he could come up with was to force you into even more danger?"
Snape gave a half-hearted smirk. "Perhaps protection is the wrong word for what I received. Although he placed me in more immediate danger I had the satisfaction of knowing I was on the right side, on Lily's side. When you defeated The Dark Lord for the first time Dumbledore also bought me my freedom. His testimony alone kept me from Azkaban."
Harry grumbled. "I suppose he did help you, some. He could have done better though. All Dumbledore knows how to do is manipulate people."
"Yes. As the leader of the light he is placed in an uncomfortable position of protecting the entire world from men like the Dark Lord. He achieves his ends through questionable means at times but he is always looking at the larger picture. He has plots within plots, each layer revealed when he believes it is time."
Harry stood so quickly his chair nearly flipped over. He clenched his hands so tightly his knuckles were white and he trembled in his anger. "Are you defending him? Do you think what he does is right?" His voice cracked from emotion by the end.
"No, I would never defend his actions as right. I am merely pointing out the difficulty of his position. I think that he forgets that we are all humans and not pawns—a fatal error, that. While he knew of what was happening with the muggles I do not believe he actually understood it. He forgot that you were a boy, not a weapon. He was so busy looking at the big picture that he forgot that it was made up of individuals who are human beings."
Harry shakily sat down again. Snape summoned the bottle of absinthe and poured his son another glass which he quickly downed. "I offer no defense Harry" he continued. "His actions were revolting and should you decide to withdraw from the war completely in response to them then you have my full support. I am, and will always be, on your side."
Harry looked his father in the eye, looking for his sincerity which he quickly found. "Thank you" he whispered. Harry stood to leave but his father's voice stopped him. "Do you wish to contact Poppy tonight to discuss a possible internship?"
Harry turned back eagerly. "Can I?" As strange as it may seem, Poppy was one of his close friends and he missed her. They had spent so much time together while he was in the hospital wing for various ailments that he found that he missed her if he went too long without seeing her. She, Hermione and Sirius were the only people he had ever met who had always been on his side.
"Certainly. The fire is warded for floo calls and we can floo out but no one, not even us, may floo in unless it is first initiated here by one of us. It is part of the security measures that I installed."
Snape strode over to the hearth and tossed in a handful of floo powder. "Poppy Pomfrey, Hogwarts Infirmary." The fire flickered green for a moment and Poppy's face appeared in the fire.
"What can I do for you, Severus?"
"I need your assistance for something. Would you mind stepping through for a moment? I'm at the manor."
"Of course, Severus. Just a moment." Poppy's face disappeared and the Snape men sat down once again to wait. Within a few minutes the fire flickered green once more and Poppy stepped out of the flames. She briskly brushed her robes off and looked up, finally noticing that Severus was not alone. She immediately noticed the resemblance between the two.
"I wasn't aware that you had a son, Severus."
Snape smirked. It wasn't often that you could pull something over Poppy. She knew almost everything about almost everyone. She somehow managed her immense knowledge without the manipulation that Dumbledore did and she never attempted to use that knowledge for personal gain. She had been one of Snape's only friends for many years now. "Yes, this is my son. That is precisely what I wished to speak with you about."
"You look a bit peaky dear. Do you mind if I run a quick diagnostic on you?" Poppy immediately assumed that she had been called to the manor in her capacity of mediwitch. Harry looked to his father hesitantly. Severus nodded and Harry reluctantly agreed. She flicked her wand at him, froze for a moment, then did it again. She let out a shaky breath. "Harry? Is that you dear?"
"Yes Poppy."
"Well for goodness sakes, child, remove the glamour so I can properly examine you."
Harry looked at Snape again, begging him with his eyes to do the explaining. When he had decided to ask Poppy here he had momentarily forgotten his changed appearance and the explanations that would surely need to follow. Snape cleared his throat. "There is no glamour Poppy. This is his true appearance."
Poppy froze. "Excuse me, Severus, I believe I heard you wrong. Are you saying that Harry truly looks like this? He actually is your son?"
Normally Severus smiling would completely unnerve the poor mediwitch. Given the circumstances, she was absolutely floored. Severus Snape had a child? That child was Harry Potter? Severus Snape was pleased with that?
"How did you know it was Harry? That spell shouldn't have allowed you to read his aura."
"It didn't. Harry has unique scarring. I would recognize it anywhere."
Snape's eyes closed involuntarily as Harry looked nervously at his father. He might have downplayed the situation at the Dursley's a bit. He hadn't wanted Snape to know exactly how bad it was. This could only raise more questions. He breathed a sigh of relief when it was apparent that Snape was not going to ask any uncomfortable questions of him—at least as long as Poppy was here.
"Well, what did you boys ask me here for? Not that I don't love to see you both, but I know that neither one of you is likely to socialize with anyone without a purpose."
"We are currently considering possibilities for Harry's future at Hogwarts. Clearly, his appearance has changed considerably. We have thought of the possibility of him attending Hogwarts as my son, allowing him to step out of the spotlight as the Boy Who Lived."
"That would be ideal. Perhaps you could finally get an opportunity to rest a bit, dear. You've worked yourself too hard over the past six years" she tutted. "You simply must learn to take breaks!" She turned to Severus. "Honestly, between you and your potions and your son and all his books I don't know how either of you sleeps."
Harry flushed lightly. "I'll try to be better about it Poppy. They worked though."
"They did?" she asked eagerly. "Remarkable. May I examine them? I wish to see if there has been any change since they have functioned. I assume that they have been tested to their full capacity?"
"Yes Poppy." Again, Harry looked at his father out of the corner of his eye. He didn't want Snape looking too deeply into his last statement. Anything he thought would probably be true but he really didn't want to discuss this last encounter with his uncle. Ever the spy, Snape simply filed away this bit of information to examine later.
Poppy grumbled under her breath for a moment about muggle brutes and uncles who weren't even good enough for Azkaban as she sorted through her makeshift healing satchel, searching for the proper tools to reassess Harry's tattoos. Snape smirked at Poppy's righteous anger. It looked like he would have at least one assistant on his little trip to the muggle house.
"Well Severus, where shall I examine him?"
"We should adjourn to the lab. The lighting is better and the room is kept sterile." He motioned Poppy and his son out the door and down the hall.