Chapter three: Desire

I can't keep this up. Acting like everything's fine. Sleeping with Katie whilst imagining Flint. It wasn't right. I rolled over in bed, I couldn't sleep. It was becoming a regular occurrence. Tomorrow, Monday, the weekend had gone so fast that it didn't even feel like there'd been one. I had thought of nothing else, no one else.

Before I knew it I was awake again, it was morning. I didn't feel like I had slept at all. I clambered out of bed and began getting myself ready for my care of magical creature's class.

I walked down the corridors, feeling like the walking dead and probably looking it too. My care of magical creature's class was with the Slytherins, so I was taking my time. I made my way to the grounds, dragging my feet along apathetically; I was staring at the floor intently, struggling to understand what was happening to me.

Everyday had become the same. I would wake up, and from that moment right up until I wasn't to sleep I would think about him, and us. I came up with crazy ideas of love, a home together, and a life together. And then I would feel disgusted with myself, I would remember my hatred for him and all the shit he put me through. Then I'd rush to a bathroom to make myself sick. I had some wild idea that if I made myself throw up on thought of Flint, that it would teach me not to think about him. Yet even when I slept I thought about him. I found myself dreaming about him telling me he needed and wanted me, I'd tell him not to leave me, to stay forever.

I was so deep in thought that I did not see Flint walking towards me down the corridor. He made his presence known of course, with his loud, drawling voice that echoed down the corridor. Even in his school robes I could not take my eyes off him. The way his hair looked so perfect even though it was sticking up a bit. I didn't even care that his teeth were awful, I still wanted to kiss him so much that it was taking all my energy not to launch myself at him.


"Well look who it is," he announced on sight of me, a lot of people turned to look at me, some laughing and talking about the match, and a few, including Ron Weasley, looked around completely clueless to what was going on.

I knew I had gone bright red, and from wanting to kiss him, I suddenly hated him more than anyone, I just wanted to punch all of those crooked teeth out so he choked on them.

He said nothing else, just getting people looking at me was good enough for him seemingly. We walked past each other; I could feel him staring at me so I did too. I did not want to break eye contact, for some reason feeling it would show weakness. As we passed I felt his hand gently brush mine, it was like a sudden spark had been passed between us, butterflies filled my stomach and I felt myself getting aroused. Fuck.

As soon as he had gone I rushed to the nearest bathroom. With no intention of throwing up this time. I pushed the door of a cubicle and slammed it closed behind me.

I pulled my trousers and boxers down and, as I wrapped my hand around my dick, I imagined Flint standing behind me, his hand there instead of mine. He slowly pumped it up and down, up and down. I rolled my head back to rest it on his shoulder and his pace quickened. I moaned loudly as I felt the pressure building up, his pace quickened more and my breathing became louder and sharp, and all at once, I felt the pressure that had been building release, momentary euphoria. I came into his hand and slowly began to regain my breath. As I recovered my beautiful fantasy faded and I came back to reality. I was alone, in a cubicle, wanking over Flint. I closed my eyes in despair. What. The. Fuck.

I walked out of the cubicle and washed my hands in the stone basin. I thought about what had just happened in the corridor. He had touched my hand, it was purposely for sure, and he could easily have avoided it if he'd wanted to. So he wanted to touch me? I grinned to myself and looked up into the mirror.

My grinned dropped as quickly as a penny thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower. I looked insane, grinning like a madman; I had turned into a pale, fucked up version of how I used to be. I hadn't looked at myself properly in days. I didn't want to go near my friends or anyone I was close to. How could I look at them knowing all these nasty fucked up thoughts were in my head. I had to stop this now, before I got worse. If I was like this after a few days, what would it be like after a week? A month? I had to forget about him.

I pushed open the cubicle door again and got to my knees.

A/N - Okay I know this is short, I figured some of the chapters will be short and some long they won't really stay consistant as I have more to say in some than others.
P.S I'm on a bit of a roll at the mo so chapter 4 should be up soon.
P.P.S Sorry for the long wait. Thanks for the reviews lovelys .