I turned a corner, heading to potions. Possibly the worse lesson I could imagine. I had come to hate all my lessons. Even the ones with my friends, simply because I did not feel like I could connect with them, I didn't feel like myself around them, not the real me, I had to put on a fake smile and act like everything was just dandy. They had no idea who I really was, or who I was becoming. How could they when I didn't even know myself.
As I turned the corner I saw a familiar face walking my way. Frantically I looked around me, thinking I might be able to hide, but Flint was already looking at me, grinning at my obvious panic. I sighed and faced the unavoidable. It was strange, we had run into each other so much over the past few days that it hardly seemed possible that it was only coincidence.
He came closer and without thinking, my mouth took control.
"What have you like memorised my timetable or something?!" I said maliciously, regretting it instantly and feeling like kicking myself.
Flint stopped, looking at me in an impressed manor, like he had not expected me to be so rash.
He raised his eyebrows and replied: "Don't flatter yourself Wood; I have a lesson down here."
"Whatever," I grumbled, "Faggot." I muttered under my breath as he passed; my mouth again taking control.
Before I could react he slammed into me pushing me against the cold wall. He grabbed a hold of some of my hair and pulled my head back forcibly.
"Don't you ever fucking call me that!" he whispered menacingly into my ear; yet at the same time he breathed in heavily, smelling my hair. I felt his breath on my neck as he breathed out lowly and could here a small shudder escape from him.
I pushed backwards as hard as I could getting him away from me, I turned around confrontationally.
"Why? Because it's true?" I asked darkly.
Nothing could have prepared me for what was to happen next. He looked at me with absolute hatred, the look we always shared, but before I could do anything about it he pushed me against the wall yet again, this time not in anger. His lips locked with mine and we kissed. His lips felt amazing, this was what I had been thinking about for days and now it was happening. It took me a while to react but eventually I came back to earth. I wrapped a hand around the back of his head holding his neck gently, pushing my tongue into his mouth softy, tracing his lips with it. His tongue brushed over mine and my body tingled with desire. I moaned quietly into his mouth before eventually he pulled away from me.
We stood in that position for a while, close enough that our noses were touching. My eyes remained closed for a while; I wanted to remember that moment forever. I opened them, half thinking that it was all just a strangely realistic dream, and that he wouldn't be there when I opened my eyes.
But he was.
He looked at me for a while with his deep brown eyes, with an expression I couldn't read. He looked torn between longing and hatred. It was a strange expression but somehow I knew how he felt.
"Now who's the faggot?" he said finally, his familiar smirk settling into place.
I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry. Not in front of him. Why did he have to keep doing this? Playing these games with me, I was being toyed with like an ignorant Slytherin girl. I shoved him out of my way and rushed to my class before I lost it.
I sat in Transfiguration that afternoon, I couldn't focus, and everything was pissing me off from Harry Brownjohn's constant foot tapping to Rosanna Walter's sniffling cold. I tapped my pencil on my paper irritably, this was surely the most pointless lesson teachers could possibly come up with; Transfiguration theory. While the majority of my class worked I sat there, looking at MgGonagall who was ignoring me blankly.
"Oliver," Katie whispered out of the corner of her mouth to me in a concerned manor. I looked at her, poor ignorant Katie, she had no idea what was going on in my head and I could see the look of hurt in her eyes whenever we were together. Used to be that I told her everything, I must admit I felt guilty. She hadn't done anything to deserve this. I looked out the window across the grounds at the Quiddich pitch and sighed.
"Wood!" MgGonagall's voice cracked like a whip through the class room, I jumped in my seat and looked straight at her.
"Yes Professor." I said innocently.
"You are not doing you're notes." She said, using the tone of voice she always used to let you know not to mess with her.
I paused, I didn't know if I should argue or not. My mind was telling me not to but my mind had been telling me all sorts of things these past few days. I felt like a battle was raging in my head until finally my mouth, for the third time that day, got the better of me.
"I don't understand Professor!" I blurted out. MgGonagall, who had already gone back to marking work, looked up at me over her glasses.
"Don't understand what exactly Mr Wood?" she said in a sceptical voice.
"I don't understand how writing this stuff down helps us to turn dogs into footstools." I said, trying to keep my voice steady. I couldn't break down now.
"Oliver!" Katie said quietly to me, looking at me in disbelief.
"Well Mr Wood, perhaps you should trust that what I am asking you to make notes on will help you to pass your exam, considering that I am your teacher."
"But…" I started.
"Your notes!" she said strictly and finally.
"It's fucking pointless!" I said a little too loud.
Katie gasped, some of the Ravenclaw's laughed and the rest of the class went silent, waiting eagerly for my punishment.
MgGonagall looked at me for a moment, looking shocked, angry and disappointed all at the same time. I avoided her gaze and momentarily pretended I was intently interested in my desk.
"You will join me in detention here, this evening." She said.
"But..!" I started again, but she gave me a 'don't-you-dare' look and I fell silent. Quiddich practise tonight, I couldn't believe it. The one thing I'd actually been looking forward to and I'd got myself into detention.
And the worst was yet to come.
I stormed out of the lesson as soon as the bell went. Katie, of course, ran to catch up.
"Oliver!" She said again, I sighed and closed my eyes, I had to say something.
I stopped and turned around, I smiled weakly and she gave me that look again.
"Oliver what's going on?" she said quietly, we moved to the side so that we weren't standing in the middle of the corridor and I sighed. She moved towards me and hugged me softly. I rested my chin on the top of her head like I always did and closed my eyes. I really did love her, no matter how much I forgot it sometimes it was still there. Things like that don't go away easily and now, hugging her, I began to wonder what really was going on with me. Not even I knew anymore.
She pulled away and looked at me again; she looked like she could cry. I looked at the floor.
"Oliver, have you met someone else?" If only I could tell you. "Because if you have…then I'd prefer you to tell me…" No one can know. "I wish you would just tell me what's going on…" If only it were that simple. "I love you…" she finished.
"I love you too," I replied. I meant it, but for how much longer I wasn't sure.
She quickly kissed me, taking me slightly by surprise. I returned it, feeling quite strange knowing the last person I kissed was Marcus. But none the less I put the effort in and she seemed happy enough. She took my hand and we made our way to the Gryffindor common room.