A/N: Oh, you knew it was coming. You can't have a JTHM cameo story without them. It's like, illegal. Well, here they are. Might as well get it over with.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Chapter 3: School

Dib was sitting in front of the TV, watching Mysterious Mysteries and eating popcorn when he heard a knock on the door. Grumbling and groaning, Dib got up and answered it. The man at the door was tall and thin, the darkness hiding his more complex features. Dib could see that his hands were coated in blood, though, not to mention he was holding a bloody screwdriver in one hand and a sinister looking scalpel in the other.

"Uh…" Dib said nervously.

"I saw a sign outside that said 'Room for Rent'…?" the man said, politely enough.

"Oh," Dib replied, suddenly remembering. "My sister put that up. My room isn't really for rent. Sorry."

"That's okay."

Dib stood there with the door open, waiting for him to leave. He didn't. Dib coughed, and decided that it might be a good time to close the door on him. As he was slowly closing the door on this psycho, the man shot up a hand and stopped him.

"Can I stay here anyway?" he pleaded.

Dib eyed the man's bloody weapons carefully and decided that this was not the best person to say no to. Taking a deep breath and squeezing his eyes shut, he stuttered, "I—I guess it's okay…"

"GREAT!" he chirped and walked right in, leaving a trail of blood. I'm gunna regret this later… Dib thought.

The man walked over to the couch and sat down, watching the television. "I love this show!" he said, putting the remote down. Dib responded by laughing nervously.

Just then, Gaz came in the room sipping a coke. Then she spotted the man. "Hey, your weird friend is getting blood all over the couch."

The man turned his head around easily and gave her a meaningful look. Then he lifted the screwdriver and twirled it around his fingers effortlessly. "Look, I've used this thinger here once already today and I'm not afraid to use it again. Go away."

"Whatever." Then Gaz left to go do whatever evil things she does in her room.

Dib turned to the man, who had resumed watching Mysterious Mysteries. Maybe he wasn't that bad after all. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Knee."

"Knee?" Dib asked, confused. "Like… this knee?" he asked, pointing to his knee.

Knee looked furious. "AARGH! NO, GOD DAMN IT!"

Dib was shocked at Knee's reaction. In fact, he was so shocked that he moved to the completely different side of the couch.

"Sooo…"Dib said about half an hour later. "You like Mysterious Mysteries?"

"Mhmm," Knee replied, without lifting his eyes from the TV.

"Are you a paranormal investigator?"

"Depends. What day is it?"

"Monday night."

"…then no."

Dib was confused. "What do you mean, what day? What day are you a paranormal investigator?"

"Tuesday. Now stop talking, I can't hear the show."

"GREAT! Tomorrow's Tuesday! You can come to school with me and see the—"

"Remember what I said about the screwdriver."

"Sorry."

After the show was over, Dib stretched and prepared to go sleep upstairs. "You can sleep here if you want," he added when Knee gave him a questioning look.

"I don't sleep." Knee turned back around again and started flipping channels.

"…okay," Dib said uneasily, and continued his venture back upstairs to his room.

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"Hey. HEY."

Dib murmured something and rolled over in his sleep, ignoring the noise.

Someone pushed him. "HEY. HEY! WAKE UP!" Then the person whacked him over the head with something.

"OW!" Dib's head shot up and he glared at the perpetrator. "Did you just hit me over the head with a toilet plunger?" he asked him.

"Yes," Knee relied sternly. "Now get up. God, you people. Always sleeping all the time."

Dib grumbled at this and put his glasses on. Then he got out of bed and got dressed. "What day id it?" he yawned.

"Tuesday."

"Tues—Knee! This is the day that you're a paranormal investigator, isn't it? You have to come to school with me and see the alien!"

Knee looked confused. "There's an alien at your school?"

"YES! He'sgreenhehasnonosehewearsawigbuthereallyhasantennasyouseedoyouseehe's analiennamedZimbutnoonebelievesmehe'seviltooeeeeeeevilwehavetostophim HYAH!" Dib finished by karate chopping the air.

"…" Knee said, a peculiar look on his face. "…sure."

"GREAT LET'S GO!" Dib screamed and jumped out the window. A second later Knee jumped out behind him and they both got on the bus.

As soon as Knee got on, the whole bus burst out in laughter. "Look at him!" Zita said. "He's tall! Let's make fun of him!"

"Okay!"

But then Knee shot them a look that shut the whole bus up.

Dib was nervous. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Knee picked up two kids by their hair and flung them halfway across the bus. "There's n empty seat here," he said, pointing to where the two kids had previously been.

Okay, DEFIANTLY bad idea, Dib thought.

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"Dib? Who is this doomed creature you've brought to class?" asked Ms. Bitters, who promptly slithered out of her desk and over to Knee to sniff his face. "He isn't young enough to be a student…"

Knee was clutching his face, horrified. "He isn't a student, Ms. Bitters," Dib corrected her; "he's a… special guest."

"Oh really?" she hissed, and stretched her neck all the way over to Knee so they were face to face. "Is he here to give a speech to the children about how they are all going to grow up to be sick lowlifes in society's gutter?"

Knee looked genuinely shocked. "What, they don't already know that?"

Ms. Bitters grinned. "I like this man. He can stay."

Knee grimaced. "Ew."

Dib motioned Knee to come sit by him. "You can sit on the floor, by the window,"

Nny nodded and plopped down beside him, then looked up and grinned. "Where's the alien?" he asked him. Dib looked over towards Zim's seat. It was empty.

"He's not here yet," Dib replied, "but he'll be here soon. Don't worry."

"I'm… not worried," Knee said, confused.

Just then, the door swung open and a little green man stepped in.

"Zim!" Dib whispered.

"YES! ZIM IS HERE! And not late," he added, straightening his wig.

"HEY! That guy just straightened his hair! You can't straighten hair!" Knee screamed, jumping up.

"Um, Mister…" a little girl said. "I just straightened my hair this m—"

"SHUT UP!" Knee yelled. "IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY! NYAHAHA!" Then he fell to the ground and started having a seizure.

Everyone was watching him awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

"Uh... it's okay everyone, he's just… a little odd," Dib reassured the class.

There was a silence.

"You're crazy," someone said. Everyone laughed.

Knee was standing up again. He was twitching all over. Then he reached into his shoe and pulled out a giant machete. "You—you're all against me, aren't you?" he whispered.

"Whoa—wait—" Dib began, backing up.

"NO!" Knee screamed. "I HAVE NO POTATOS! I THOUGHT I ALREADY MADE THAT PRETTY CLEAR! DAMN YOU, FBI! DAMN YOU!!"

"Uh…" Dib said.

"YOU'RE NOT REALLY CHILDREN, ARE YOU?!"

"Knee! It's okay! We really—"

"ARE YOU?!"

"Yes, we are!"

"LIIIIIIIES! I'LL PROVE IT!" Knee lifted the machete high above his head. "Robots don't bleed, do they?"

"What robots?" Dib asked.

But Knee had already proceeded to massacre half the class.

"YAHAHAHAHAHA!" he shrieked, chopping off heads and stabbing hearts.

"KNEE!" Ms. Bitters interrupted.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Knee asked, exasperated. He was completely covered in blood and gore.

"You're getting blood all over the desks and floor."

"…oops," Knee said, looking around, embarrassed. His eyes suddenly perked up like a realized something. He turned around and faced the now entirely deceased class. "Uh… sorry." He said, avoiding their eyes.

Then he turned to face Dib again. "Where's the alien again?"

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"You're kicking me out?"

"I'm sorry Knee," Dib apologized. "But I can't really… handle you. You need to go somewhere else. With less children."

Knee narrowed his eyes. "What are you saying…?"

"I'm saying you need to go," Dib finished, and prepared to close the door, but Knee stopped it with his foot.

"I once read a fortune cookie about something like this. It said, 'swallow your problems one bite at a time.'" Knee said matter-of-factly.

"What did you do when you read that?" Dib asked him.

"I ate my screwdriver."

Dib just looked at him. "That's nice, Knee. Tell it to your shrink." Then he attempted to close the door again. Knee stopped him.

"But I don't have a shrink!"

Dib grimaced. "Then go get one!" he said, and (finally) closed the door.

Dib sighed. He stumbled upstairs to his bedroom and flopped down on his bed.

"MUHAHAHAHA!" said Zim. "I have you now!" he had been hiding under the bed. "Victory for ZIM!"

Dib rolled his eyes. This was going to be a long day.

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A/N: That was painful. But you have to have Invader Zim somewhere, otherwise it'd just be… wrong. Next chapter won't be so clichéd, but will also have someone that most of you probably don't know unless you have HBO, or rent seasons of it a Blockbuster. (I do ze Blockbuster, I ain't rich.)