Frankly, the topic that Tallis was talking about needed an adult perspective. A kid just couldn't have cut it. It he was asking for help on how to give a great blow job then, by all means, he would have been speaking with another kid. But advice for how to get over a trauma remotely like what Tallis has been through simply couldn't have been handled well by a seventeen year old kid.
Also, someone asked permission to archive my fic on their site. I am touched that you would ask! By all means, please post it or rec it at will…you can never have too many readers! If you need me to email you my Word formatted chapters I unfortunately can't do that right now because my email has been a bit spotty recently. I actually haven't been able to open my account for two weeks. Hopefully you can cut and paste or do some sort of linking. Again, it is an honor that you wish to do it. Thank you!
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Chapter 35Draco and Tallis were slowly making the rounds late in the evening. Draco, as a prefect, had hall duty at night and Tallis, as a professor, was supposed to do so as well. They had decided to walk together tonight.
"So, two weeks into the semester…how do you feel it has been going?" Draco asked Tallis.
"Pretty well. The students all seem to be learning at about the pace I had hoped for. My Father seems pleased with their progress. He's been reading random assignments from my first years to make sure that I am grading to the same scale that he would. We were worried that students would score much higher in my class and then be unprepared for his later on. Our second years are doing well also. They seem to enjoy having us team-teach. Or maybe they just like not having my Father for every lesson. How are your classes going?"
"Pretty boring, as usual. The workload is high but most of it just seems like busy work, nothing terribly useful. It's rather frustrating. And people just won't shut up about Harry Potter! Even the teachers are talking about it. If I read one more story about 'our brave martyr' in the Prophet I just may scream."
"I don't read the papers. Is it that bad?" Tallis asked, growing a bit concerned. He had finally decided over the summer that he didn't particularly give a damn about what the wizarding world thought but he still didn't want them to panic. Honestly, he had been hoping for an adverse reaction to Harry Potter's withdrawal, thinking that they might call him a coward for running. He thought that if they turned against him badly enough then maybe they would eventually leave him alone. Unfortunately, they had taken the whole 'beloved martyr' approach with the whole mess.
"It's in the paper every bloody day. Speculations about where he could be, whom he is with, what he is doing and so on. It's enough to drive anyone crazy."
"I can see that. I seem to miss the brunt of it since few people really try to talk to me."
"Why is that? I mean, why don't you talk to more people?"
Tallis shrugged uncomfortably. He had rather opened himself up to that one. "Being near a lot of people makes me uncomfortable. I prefer to have a few close friends and just leave it at that."
Draco watched him carefully. "What's so bad about it?" he asked, trying not to push but still wanting an answer. He had already noticed his friend's fear of entering the Great Hall by himself and he had seen that Tallis grew more nervous the longer he was in a public situation. Perhaps he could get some answers to the growing list of questions he had about Tallis Snape. "Why does it make you so uncomfortable?"
"It just does, alright?" Tallis snapped. His shoulders slumped and he sighed audibly. "I'm sorry Dray, I didn't mean to snap at you. They just make me uncomfortable is all. Big crowds have always made me nervous and all of the attention is nerve wracking. You try eating up at that head table with everyone watching every move you make! It's terrible—it's like you're some sort of exotic caged animal!" He tried to turn it into a weak joke but it was clear to Draco that his discomfort was caused by more than just people looking at him too much. It was equally clear that he was not ready to talk about it yet.
"So…" Draco said, searching for a new topic. "Did you play Quidditch at your old school?"
"We were too small for true Quidditch but we got together some pick-up games a few times a month."
"What part did you play? Chaser?"
"We pretty much switched around a lot. I was better at Chaser than some of the other positions but we all took turns playing everything. It kept the games from getting repetitive. My first year at the Academy the six of us in my class were the only ones in the school since it was brand new. After that we gained five or six a year but even by my last year we still had less than thirty students. It would be way too easy to get boring."
"That must have been odd going to such a small school, especially that first year with only five of you there. Where is the Academy?"
"On my cousin Rianna's manor grounds. She built a small secondary manor on the grounds so that she didn't have to give up her own house for it."
"I didn't know that she was your cousin."
"Well, I use the term loosely. We're more like fourth cousins three times removed or something like that so most people don't realize we are related. I don't really know. She's pretty close to my Father though so I've always just called her cousin. She's only about Bill's age."
"I've never met her. I'm surprised that you guys were able to keep your existence a secret for so long with so many people knowing."
"Well, most of the kids at the Academy were relatives or else Weasleys. A Snape would of course protect me and just telling the Weasley bunch that Voldemort would kill me if they talked about me kept them quiet. You know how they are."
Draco smirked. "That lot is firmly entrenched in the side of the light."
Tallis looked up sharply at his friend. "And you are not?"
Draco looked a bit uncomfortable. "I guess I am. I definitely disagree with the Dark Lord's methods and I am beginning to see problems with his mantra, especially as recently he has been more obsessed with offing Harry Potter than with protecting blood purity. Honestly, what kind of Dark Lord can't even kill one kid? Not terribly inspiring. I just don't trust Dumbledore much."
Tallis roughly tugged Draco in close to him and down enough for him to hear his harsh whisper. "Even the walls listen here. Don't mention that again outside of our rooms." He released him and walked on, Draco trailing behind a moment in shock.
"I understand. Sorry…I didn't mean to endanger anything."
"You need to realize that he is far more dangerous than you think he is" Tallis said, implying strongly to any passersby or eavesdroppers that he was speaking of Voldemort. Draco knew that he really meant Dumbledore though.
"I am beginning to see that. Perhaps I will come and speak with you and your Father sometime later about it."
The two came upon a pair of second years trying to sneak into the kitchens. Tallis deducted ten points each and sent them back to their rooms quickly. The young men continued on their way slowly. "Something strange seems to be going on with the Gryffindors" Draco said, finally breaking their comfortable silence.
"Really?" Tallis asked, his interest peaked.
"They're being…nice. There haven't been any confrontations between Slytherins and Gryffindors at all this year. We've usually had at least a few big fights by the two-week mark. Have you heard of anything going on with them? You know a few of them, don't you?"
"I don't know much. I've heard from Ron and Hermione that the Gryffindors are eager to ease tensions among the houses, particularly Slytherin-Gryffindor relations. They know that the poor relations between the houses has only added to the problem of this war, dividing loyalties and making it easier to break away. They are fully aware that a lion's share of the blame goes to them…they do seem to start the most fights and they tend to participate in fights that don't even involve them. I don't know what they were planning on doing to fix things though."
"Just the lack of antagonism is helping greatly. We know that our reputation has been badly damaged by this war and there isn't much we can do to fix it on our own. It has definitely made the first years feel better, too. They were terrified to join our house with tensions as they were. At least they haven't been picked on any more than any other first year so far."
"How have people been reacting to my Father's betrayal of Voldemort?" Tallis asked quietly. "He won't talk about it with me and I can't see much reaction in class."
"People haven't said a whole lot. Most of the Slyths are firmly on the side of the light or else neutral and were pleased to learn that our Head of House was as well. A few have had to keep their distance because their parents are still loyal and they fear being used by them to hurt the Professor. They themselves are all neutral but they aren't old enough to risk just openly admitting their sides. All of us are trying to wait as long as possible before doing that."
"It will be dangerous for you all whenever you do come out and openly side against the Dark Lord. Make sure they keep it quiet as long as possible. Let us know what, if anything, we can do to help. I'm sorry that you have to go through something like that just because of a decision your parents made."
Draco smiled at Tallis, but dropped the depressing topic. He knew all too well what the reaction would be. He would be mistrusted on the side of the light and the dark would hunt him down for his betrayal. He would be leaving the dark for nothing, essentially. The light surely wouldn't welcome him or protect him. Doing something for no personal gain was anathema to Slytherins normally but they all realized that gaining nothing was better than losing everything. "Sev seems to be going a bit easier on the other three houses since he was discovered but he still favors us like, as I'm sure you've noticed."
Tallis smiled. He had seen earlier that his Father was not going to give up his classroom persona just because he had been exposed as a spy. He thought that his Father was being more fair but he wasn't certain if his perception wasn't skewed. He was glad to hear confirmation that his Father was indeed finally attempting to be fair.
"Are you really close to Weasley?" Draco asked suddenly.
Tallis raised an eyebrow. "I have been dating him for two years, Draco. Of course I am."
"No, no, not Bill, I meant Ron Weasley."
"Not terribly so. We go out occasionally and talk a bit when I'm over at the Burrow but we aren't best mates or anything" Tallis said, feeling bad for betraying his friend like that. He could hardly tell Draco Malfoy that he was best friends with Ron Weasley though. "We talk occasionally about things that are going on in the world or about his family but mostly about Quidditch. I have known them all for a few years now. His mum has always been really kind to me," he said, smiling softly as he thought of Molly.
"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry." He could tell that his friend was deep in thought.
"It's alright, Draco. I know you don't like them very much. They have always been very kind to me, even from the beginning. You'd expect them to react badly to their son and heir bringing home a Snape for Sunday dinner but they all welcomed me that first night and have never made me feel less than welcome since."
"Is that where you met Potter?"
"Yes, briefly" Tallis said, thankful for such a great cover story. He nearly kicked himself for not thinking of one earlier. "Why are you so interested in harry Potter? You are straight, aren't you?"
Draco laughed. "Yes, completely. I have no romantic interest in Potter he's just always fascinated me for some reason. From the very beginning I have been captivated by him. I don't really know why. I always thought we were a lot more alike that either of us cared to admit."
Tallis smiled. "I'm sure you are. We had only met a time or two for a few brief minutes until that day in Diagon Alley when we all went shopping together and then they came over to the manor. That was more about Ron wanting to visit with Bill than anything else. They are very close."
"Have you ever dated anyone but Bill?"
"Not really. We started dating when I was nearly sixteen. I had a few dates with some people but nothing much. You?"
"Hm? I don't really date much. I mean seriously date, that is. I go on a lot of dates and have some girls that I mess around with but no one remotely serious. I'm not ready to settle down yet. Plus, it drives my Father insane," he said, laughing lightly.
"What is your Father like?" Tallis asked softly. He had clearly met him before when he was Harry Potter but those meetings didn't tell him what Lucius Malfoy was like as a father. As he had quickly learned with his own Father, public appearances could often hardly be compared to private behavior. Perhaps Lucius was actually a great dad. He doubted it, but it was entirely possible.
Draco sighed. "About what you'd expect him to be like. He didn't particularly want to marry my mum and he lets her know it at every opportunity. He wanted an heir but wanted nothing to do with a son, you know?" Tallis nodded. Yes, he knew very well about people wanting you present in their house for a specific purpose but not actually wanting you or wanting to be near you. "He rarely spoke to me before I came to Hogwarts but when I got into Slytherin so quickly he warmed up a bit. The only times he would really talk to me though were when he would tell me about the glory of the Dark Lord and other rot. Not much of a father figure, really.
"He wasn't bad, overall. I mean, he didn't abuse me or have the house elves ever punish me or anything." He laughed harshly. "To do that he'd have to notice me first. Lucius Malfoy wouldn't waste a minute for his son, whether to praise or punish him. I don't know. I know it could have been much, much worse but it wasn't so great how it was."
"What about your mum?" Tallis asked hesitantly. He had mentioned her somewhat fondly. Perhaps they were close. Not to mention the very title 'mum' gave away quite a lot.
Draco smiled happily. "She's great. She's always been there for me. A lot of pureblood women let the house elves rear their children, not wanting to be bothered. She never gave over control to them though. I mean, they obviously helped out but she did almost everything herself. And she's always been on my side, always been there to support me. I worry about her alone in the manor with my Father."
Tallis cringed, remembering that Lucius Malfoy had bribed his way out of Azkaban early in his sixth year. No doubt the four months in Azkaban hadn't improved his temperament at all. "I'm glad you have your mum at least," Tallis said. "Father showed me a picture of her…she's beautiful."
"She can't wait to really meet you. She was sad that she had to meet you for the first time in such a public place and she couldn't really talk to you."
"Why is that? Why do purebloods act like that in pubic? It's damn strange, if you ask me."
"You know, I don't really know. My Father just told me that was the way a Malfoy acted and if I wanted to be a Malfoy I would do so as well. For a lot of us it is a protection of sorts. People don't tend to like Slytherins and it is easier to mask your pain when people are nasty to you if you are already wearing a mask. I'm not sure about those who do it for other reasons. Probably just to make themselves feel superior and make everyone else feel inferior," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "So, has Sev been seeing anyone recently?"
"What?" Tallis, said, completely startled. It had never occurred to him that his Father might have a love life. Hell, he might have already been in a relationship and now he was spending all of his time taking care of him instead of his mystery girlfriend. Merlin, he was a bad son! Aside from knowing his Father was decidedly straight and had once had a sexual relationship with Lily Evans he didn't know a single thing about his love life. "No one that I know of. No one came to the manor at all over the summer and he never left except to go to the tattoo parlor with me that one day."
"He doesn't get out enough. I mean, I know he can't actually go out right now, but he doesn't date enough. He totally sells himself short."
Tallis thought back to the conversation in the lab where his Father had told him that he doubted he could date a woman long enough to get her pregnant. He felt immensely sad for him. He was a wonderful man but it probably would take a special woman to see past his prickly exterior. Pity Poppy was so much older than he was. "He does. He doesn't think that he's at all handsome and he is convinced that no one would ever put up with his personality."
"When I was young I used to wish that my Father would disappear or go away or just die. Then my mum could marry Severus and I would have the perfect family. I'm not so sure now, looking at it as an adult, that they would ever really get along as lovers, but it was a nice dream."
Tallis smiled softly. He had always had similar dreams. Not about Mrs. Malfoy, but about a loving family. "Who knows? Maybe they would work out. Would your Father never divorce her? Or couldn't she, him?"
Draco looked at Tallis incredulously. "No pureblood woman married under a contract can get a divorce. Didn't you know that?" Tallis shrugged and smiled. Draco shook his head at his friend's lack of education but continued. "No way would my Father ever divorce her. He'd have to return to her the enormous dowry she came with and sign over to her the manor and lands that her Father gave for her keep. Father has no need for any of it, including her, but he would never allow anyone else to have them. No, she'll have to wait until he's dead to move on."
Tallis nodded sadly. "I doubt they'd work out well anyway. They are probably too close of friends to ever see each other like that. Maybe when this war is over they can both go out and find someone they truly want to be with."
Draco sighed loudly. "I'm sick of this stupid war. I just wish it could be over, one way or another. I know I sound incredibly selfish but I just want to be able to have a normal life again."
"Me too," Tallis said softly. "That's all I've ever wanted."
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Author's Note: PLEASE READ! (sorry it is so long)
It's time to vote again! I've been turning over the Dumbledore problem in my mind for weeks now and can't make up my mind. Part of me screams that Tallis would never, ever want to go through a court trial, even if he could technically avoid it as Tallis Snape and would never need to testify. As such a private person I think that he would never want his past life exposed in such a manner.
Another part of me says fuck it, Dumbledore and the bastards deserve prison, at the very least, for what they have done. I'm not a big fan of vigilante justice or letting them get away with it all but I can definitely see either one of those options working well. So here's the options I have been considering (there are essentially 4 choices divided into 2 subgroups—clarify which one of the 4 you prefer if you decide to vote):
A.) We have a huge trial in which everything is exposed about Harry Potter's upbringing and Dumbledore's duplicity. Within this category there is the choice of having everyone sentenced to life terms or sentenced to the Kiss (or another suitably horrifying punishment). Part of me would rather just give them life sentences, thus removing any chance of them getting out of some of the pain. Frankly, the assholes deserve it.
B.) We avoid the trial in an effort to protect Tallis' feelings. Within this category we have the choice of Sev and Co. killing and/or maiming the muggles and Dumbledore or having them leave the bastards alone as Tallis requests. With the second part of this choice Dumbledore would just fade away into obscurity and the muggles would continue to live their miserable, wretched lives. I'm probably least interested in this last one, where everyone gets away without any punishment. I don't think it would be out of character necessarily though.
Thoughts? Opinions? Major objections? I truly am torn over this but am leaning toward the trial. I hesitate over that though since I think I might reveal Tallis to be Harry Potter later in the story and I hate to have everything revealed about his life and then have him need to return to it, or at least return to the notoriety. Even thinking about having such a thing happen to him makes my heart hurt. I haven't decided yet if I will reveal him though. We'll have to see what direction the story goes in.
Voting open until Wednesday, September 21.